Void’s Journal

[Voidhawk]

05/18/2015 at 12:43 am

Background: She is 24 years old and I am 27, serious relationship that has been going for over two years.
In her past, she has had some bad male role models which makes her very defensive about giving away her control over to anyone, especially a guy.
That being said, we have a lovely caring and deep relationship which in most areas is really great.

Sex is something very important to me and I was very honest about it before we started dating. I explained I liked certain things; role play, BDSM & anal and she was totally on-board with it. However as she was quite inexperienced, she promised me she definitely would be willing to try it all but it would take some time. Fast forward two years and there has been almost no movement on any of the areas. Now if I didn’t love her I would have ended it a long time ago, but like a lot of the people I see here, they love their partner but there is just one or two problem areas that are making them unhappy. Rather than throw away the relationship, I am trying to gently nudge it in a better direction (for me at least).

Current Situation:

Sex minimum of two times a week (was very clear at the beginning that this was non-negotiable)
Blow jobs about one every 1-2 months
Butt plug maybe once every 2-3 months (only in the last year to six months)

Goals:

More open to sex (positions, types, locations, toys, frequency)
More willing to submit completely to me sexually

1st Month Progress Report – April
So after I signed up to the site I immediately downloaded the Girlfriend’s cock-sucker subliminal and started playing on my computer which can be heard in the living room & kitchen. Now I wasn’t expecting any results for sometime so I had no expectations. She stayed at home that day and I guess was exposed to about 14-18 hours of it playing by itself on a loop. I did some favour for her that I would normally do (drive her somewhere or something similar) and she says to me very awkwardly “And I can maybe reward you with a blowjob”. Now this is fairly out of the ordinary for her, and I could see it was difficult for her to say. Anyway I was ecstatic and was instantly hooked on the possibilities. Now I knew it could simply be a coincidence, but I was far to excited to try something with a bit more reluctance. Now anal had never been anything she was against, it was just nothing she was for either. She knows it’s a priority for me, but she has never been to motivated to pursue it very far.

So after not finding any subliminal for that particular area (which surprised me a little) I went and wrote my own custom one Girlfriend’s anal sex. So I started playing this in the lounge room and I also set-up an iPad to play in the bedroom under the bed as well for more complete coverage. I should mention that she doesn’t live here yet, but will in 6 weeks. Currently she spends about 75% of the time here though. Anyway again I reset my expectations, expecting it to take months before any effect is witnessed. However almost like clock-work, about 24 hours later, at night when we are getting sexual, she starts rubbing her ass against my penis. She cums from a bit of help from a little vibrator and she essentially gives me a handjob to completion with the head of my penis against her.

From reading the forums, I realised I should probably positively reinforce this so I was very complimentary for the next day or so (probably a little to obvious) but immediately after I sort of convinced her it was her idea (which it was) and she liked it (which she did). I guess the plan I came up with on the fly was to make it not seem like she is doing ‘butt stuff’ for me but because she likes it herself. Fast-forward a week (with nothing fairly obviously different) and sort of out of the blue she says she wants to do more anal play, at least once a week. Now this really caught me off-guard and I wasn’t expecting it. I really wanted to know if this was in addition to the two times a week or part of, but I knew that wasn’t the important thing at play here. Anyway I very quickly agreed and I think that day or the one after we had a blow-by-blow (pun intended) copy of the above. So being pretty confident that this was going my way, and knowing I would be home all weekend I thought I would switch back to the Girlfriend’s cock-sucker, but after reading the forums I wanted to modify it a little bit so I borrowed from Tap and others.

I wish I could prove I wasn’t making this up but again after maybe a day and a half this time, she again used a really embarrassed voice and said, “maybe you could go down on me and then I’ll go down on you”. Now this was interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly she doesn’t really like me going down on her that much as she is really self-concious, however I think it was her way of rationalising the exchange. Secondly she prefers to 69 in that scenario so it is unusual for her to want to give me a blowjob like that. And finally, she used that same awkward voice which to me is her subconscious pushing her to do something that she doesn’t feel comfortable normally to have done. While I was going down on her, I made sure to gently rub my finger against her asshole and was expecting an immediate stop and desist order. To my surprise there wasn’t, she even said she wasn’t sure what was happening down there (which I don’t believe but maybe it just felt really good) and she seemed to cum quite quickly after and with a lot of force. Anyway that was a good detour so afterwards I put the recordings back to my anal custom one in the bedroom, but in the main room I put on My Boyfriend is My Master and My Boyfriend’s Happiness. I am actually a little annoyed at myself for lack of patience, I know that I was making progress but I just got over-eager at the potential. These are still playing but if I don’t still continue to see some progress I will revert them straight away.

I have been sick the last two or so weeks and she has had a hell of a bad time with her family, so I am not too surprised there hasn’t been much more development since then. The only other things noteworthy that have happened is that one time she was horny and said she wanted my cock, I asked where and she said “My ass”, which is one of the lines from my file. I think even she was caught a little out from it as well and looked a little embarrassed. She also had a sex dream about me which are kinda rare and she told me about it, but couldn’t remember the details so it’s good to see sex is on the mind. Finally there is just a much more willingness and openness to her ass that wasn’t there just 1.5 months ago so I think it has come a long way. Next update should be in 2-4 weeks depending on how much interesting stuff takes place in that time. If you have any questions about anything, please ask below!

[Fizbin]

05/18/2015 at 4:06 am

Congratulations, and belated welcome!
Not stuff I would really go for, but very happy to hear about her responsiveness. It probably helps that these are things you had already discussed, and she was just trying to avoid (whether due to distaste, or simple newness). But with that little extra push, she was able to clear that last hurdle.
Keep up the good work, and keep us posted!

[seekenq]

05/18/2015 at 8:18 am

Congratulations, sounds like she is very open to subliminals and you are making some great progress.

I’ll echo some advice you probably already picked up from reading the forums …
Go slow with the subliminals and try to run a script for a month or so at a time (at least a couple of weeks).

I would also suggest trying something to increase her libido since frequency is one of your goals.
I would use boyfriend happiness along with I love sex (or a custom that you make) and drop boyfriend is my master for now.
If you want some help on the custom post a draft here and ask for feedback.

I say drop BIMM because you did not mention her being submissive as one of your goals so it seems like you could wait on that one (for now).
If you do a custom ILS then you could work in some lines for oral and anal to reinforce progress to date.

FWIW, if you want long term success, go slow with introducing her to anal.
Based on your post is sounds like she enjoyed what you have done so far but continue to go slowly.
It is a long way from a simple rubbing to her being able to take you in her ass and enjoy it.
A finger then a small plug then…. and lot’s of lube at every step.

Lastly, she is giving you great opportunities to give her positive reinforcement in “the real world”
Don’t be afraid to give her praise when she does or says something that takes your relationship in the direction you want.
Remember you are running Boyfriend Happiness and so her subconscious will be looking for ways to please you.
Real world positive reinforcement should be music to her (subconscious) ears.

Best of luck and keep us posted on your progress.

[Tap]

05/19/2015 at 5:36 pm

What you want now is the ideas ingrained in her head. Through constant repetition of the subliminals (months on end) and positive reinforcement when she performs the behaviors you want, you will rewire her subconscious and behavior to how you want her to be. Anal sex and blowjobs will be normal to her. She will start missing it if you don’t have it too much.

[Voidhawk]

06/10/2015 at 6:41 am

Thought it was time for a little update, in summary some more progress then a complete change of strategy.

At first I continued with my custom anal file and took seekenq advice and played I Love Sex and dropped the Boyfriend Master script.
The results for the anal file were very promising, with more adventures in that department. I even got her to promise (even though we both realised after it was infeasible) to try and include some anal play every-time she came.
Since I have started playing subliminals, I have noticed a slight more desire for her to please me in all things such as making toast for me in the morning or getting groceries. It has been very well received on my end and she seems very happy about it too. Also her libido was up after playing the I Love Sex file which was great and this continued for a couple of weeks.

However, I was feeling for a blowjob and then I thought about switching the anal file out for a bit and use a BJ file instead as I had in the past. So I did but hadn’t got the results I had experienced earlier (probably flukes or as others note the initial exposure has a stronger effect) and then I realised, am I going about this the wrong way? Then I saw agent82’s custom and it hit me, rather than focusing on a particular act I’m into at that time; anal, blowjob, power play, orgasm control and so on, is it not better to try and establish the desire to please within her, and therefore I can just ask for what I like?

So I wrote my own custom modifying agent82’s file, I added some obedience/submission suggestions in it but ultimately it was fairly similar. The biggest change however was that I changed ‘Good Girl’ to ‘Good Girlfriend’.
There were two reasons for this, firstly she is a bit of a feminist and she has mentioned in the past that she thinks ‘good girl’ and that ‘daddy’ stuff in relationships is, and I quote, ‘gross’. Secondly, I am her first proper relationship where as this is my second, so I know she has a little complex in trying to understand what makes a good girlfriend, so I think she is more eager to do things she associates with that goal.

I have had a couple of problems that I am hopping for some tips/advice about this. In Agent’s file he says “You are such a good girl” so I have “You are such a good girlfriend” but I wonder if it doesn’t translate as well. What I mean, is that in her head doing BJ’s one a month is fine, as is sex twice a week, so if I am suggesting to her that she is a good girlfriend it will confirm her beliefs, but not encourage any changes. I think the key difference is a good girlfriend is ambiguous when it comes to submissive/sexual behaviour whereas being a good slut is not and good girl is somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. So I can only think of three options; drop the good girlfriend all together and think of an alternative; rather than say she is a good girlfriend instead only say she desires to be one; leave it as is and hope the other suggestions take place.

The second problem with this was that she asked me if she was a good girlfriend (proving that the suggestions were taking hold :cool:) and I panicked and said ‘yes’. My split second thought was that I should reinforce the suggestions, but then when I thought about it she wasn’t doing anything that I wanted reinforced (we were just talking). In a way I think this is the same as the previous problem just manifested as a real life question, good girlfriend is just too unclear a goal. I couldn’t very well say she was a bad girlfriend, but she wasn’t being a good one either as defined in my custom script.

Anyway ramblings aside, there has been some good progress with my custom. We were having sex and she told me to ‘dominate her’ and ‘do whatever I like’ to her which isn’t unheard of but is unusual. The way she said it as well was almost like a trance and was almost quoting the custom. However when I tried to actually take control her concious mind kicked in and tried to fight it by saying “I have to make her” and that “she is in charge” but she is permitting me to take control 😕 A similar thing happened with the anal play in which she was very clearly enjoying it, but when I told her that her enjoyment was obvious, she always argued and said the only reason it feels good to her is because I enjoy it and not because she enjoys the sensation. It clearly started off as this and remains a large portion, but it’s certainly not 100% the case any more.

She has some family dramas at the moment which means she is only spending ~4 days at mine now which is reducing the time she is exposed and those dramas are clearly having an impact to her stress and libido levels. We will be moving in together permanently in a month or so, which will be good once I figure out a way to broadcast the subliminals in the new environment. Anyway as I said, looking for some suggestions about what to do for a more long term obedience/submission route and the issue with good girlfriend.

[Fizbin]

06/10/2015 at 8:40 pm

One of the things you may have noticed in some reports is a bit of “disconnect” between a subject’s conscious awareness and her actual actions. Your girl appears to be having similar responses. While you definitely want to encourage and support the right behaviors, you should try to avoid essentially “rubbing her (conscious’) nose” in the changes taking place that she has voiced opposition to in the past. This can cause her to rally against them, and delay or divert making the changes stick.

As for the script terminology, one pattern that seems to work is to have affirmations like:

A good girl (or girlfriend) is (or does) X.
I enjoy X.
I want to be/do more X for {your name}.
It feels good to X for {your name}.

I also wouldn’t shy away from Good Girl type affirmations just because she consciously claims not to like them as a feminist. The need to be a good girl is instilled deep within most women from a very young age, and even though they may consciously rebel against it, that need still exists. I wouldn’t go with them exclusively, but they certainly can and should be used where contextually appropriate.

[Tap]

06/11/2015 at 8:59 pm

If your girlfriend is a feminist and wants to be in control, you will have a long road to break that down. About two years ago, my wife and I fought a lot for that control or power. Through 2 years of subliminals, I reversed it to me having pretty much all the power. The way I did it was through two customs and it is the advice I would give you.

One custom should focus on her being submissive and obedient to you, while presenting the idea that you are in charge, her master, etc, and her wanting to please you. The second should focus on all sex acts you want her to do. Both are important because even if she eventually does become submissive and want to please you, she won’t necessarily do all the sex acts you want her to do because her subconscious may still reject them. How many girls do you know consciously want to deepthroat your dick and swallow your cum? I’d say most wouldn’t normally do that…Once you introduce both ideas, you’re good to go.

You could play them in a playlist, or one at a time in different parts of the day.

[Voidhawk]

07/08/2015 at 5:37 am

2nd Month Progress Report – June
We did it! About three weeks ago we fooling around and she wanted to sort of try out anal sex. We sort-of got it a little in, but I was honestly surprised that she was into it and willing. I took your advice and not try and pry and pressure her for her motivation. She told me she was looking at porn all week when she was away (she never looks at porn) and only enjoyed looking at anal porn. She said “nothing else excited me” or when she saw some non-anal porn “I just wanted to skip over to find some anal”. This was very crazy for me, to change her behaviour 180 degrees like that so completely.

Then she was away for a few days and she was back on the weekend. On the Friday night, we did the anal stuff again and got it all the way. I just couldn’t believe it, from practically nothing in two years and anal sex in two months after using subliminals! Now I am a sceptical person but even I can’t help but see the correlation between the two. I was quite shocked because we haven’t even really been using toys or anything like that to relax. I then re-read the subliminals and they were geared more towards anal sex with me then anal toys, like “I like my boyfriend’s cock inside my ass”. So it sort of makes sense, not that I’m complaining but it is interesting to see how the scripts manifest in behaviour.

Now to the bad stuff. After anal she was very inquisitive about how it was, I re-assured her it was great and tried to shower as much positive reinforcement as I could. We were joking about her getting a medal for it as it is something I have always wanted, as we went to sleep. The next day was great, cooked her breakfast, went clothes shopping, went to a movie and dinner I paid for (was already pre-planned). Then we got home and the tears started. She was upset that I hadn’t made her feel special enough, that she was ‘showing her love’, like ‘losing her virginity again’, ‘tearing down her walls’ and so on. I was quite blind-sighted because I didn’t see this coming at all. I tried to talk her down but it was just all crazy. Fast-forward a few days and she apologised retrospectively because I think she later realised she was being unreasonable.That weekend we had anal sex again and it was great. The next day we got into a fight yet again (I can’t remember what it was about). Like the last fight, it died down and I think she apologised again later. She joked that she was getting bad associations because the two times we have done it we have fought after. I know this is the exact opposite of what I should be doing, but the arguments are literally coming out of left field so I can’t avoid it.

I actually think that the argument is her way of freaking out about what she has done and almost like trying to reverse-justify it. She is a very anxious person who likes to plan everything in advance and checks things are turned off multiple times. After re-reading your ‘go slow’ advice, I realise it’s not so much go slow during the act, but go slow with the subliminals. So this is my advice to anyone trying it out, don’t jump straight to the end game, I should have started with subtler undertones of submissive and maybe even just sex toys. Then from there introduce more and more gradual suggestions, so she doesn’t feel like she is doing something so unpredictable for her.

So I am giving her a short break from the anal subliminal for a while so she doesn’t continue to do it and then freak out about it. We are also moving house, so it will be interesting to see what the new setup will be like and where I can play the subliminals from. I will need to buy something for the lounge room, as the computer won’t be there in the new place. Will check back in a month to fill anyone who’s interested in the developments, also interested in any suggestions or feedback you might have for me.

[Tap]

07/08/2015 at 8:59 pm

It sounds like you are making great progress. Kind of weird how she starts fights like that out of nowhere. That might be more just her personality and less of the subliminals. I wouldn’t quit the subliminals quite yet if you want to reinforce what you gained in the anal area.

[seekenq]

07/10/2015 at 8:10 am

Great progress!
Thanks for the update.

Yes, go slow generally means go slow with the subliminals, i.e. only do a couple scripts at a time, keep them focused, and let them run for a month or so.
In this case I would say go slow is also necessary for anal as well.
The two are unrelated but a gradual approach will work in both cases.

I think you are seeing a classic battle between her subconscious and conscious minds – this is normal.
Many of us here have experienced something like this one way or another.
The subliminals are making her subconscious mind want to do anal but then after she does it, her conscious mind rebels over the fact that she just did anal which she has been taught to believe is bad.
I would definitely stay the course – you need to break through this resistance phase and get to a place where she enjoys anal before during and after.

I do not mean force her to do anything she does not want to do.
It seems a bit early to move into the obedience stage so let her continue to initiate.
Continue to go slow during the act and help her gradually stretch so anal becomes more enjoyable over time.

To overcome this resistance you probably need to change up your script(s) “slightly”.
She is giving you huge guideposts to go on in the form of her objections.
Listen / watch very carefully during these episodes as this is when she is telling you what to work on.
Focus on her objections, particularly on any that are around her feelings toward anal.

Examples:
For your anal script (Activity Script)…
If she said she did not feel loved add some lines like:
– Anal sex with void makes me feel loved.
– Void shows me his love with anal.

I also might add some lines about anal being normal good (it seems her early life conditioning of what is “bad” and “good” is kicking in.
– All girlfriends enjoy anal sex
– Anal sex is normal.

For your Happiness script (Attitude Script)…
– having anal sex makes Void happy.
– I want to make Void happy all the time.

I suggest you post your current script(s) along with any more detailed recollections on her objections during her “episodes”
The group can then help provide you with better advice on how to refine your scripts so you can continue to make progress.