Serebus’ journal

[Serebus0126]

10/09/2014 at 1:01 pm

History: my wife and I have been married 10 years. While I am the dominant one and like to explore our kinky side, she is more reserved and only “likes” to explore that area about once or twice a month. Between kids and all the other activities our sexual frequency has definitely dropped off to 3-4 times a month and she rarely or never initiates it. She definitely has a submissive side to her and she has admitted this to me on occasion but she is hesitant to take it to the next level.

My goal is to influence her behavior and get her to come to terms with her submissive side and enjoy exploring it more. She always enjoys being tied up though she continuously expresses that it’s only “ok” once or twice a month, she definitely enjoys it more when I express my pleasure/happiness in seeing her tied up and used. Another goal is to increase her sexual drive, encourage more exploration on her part and get her to initiate more activity.

To that end, on the 1st of October I began running a couple of the wife/submissive scripts as well as a custom script from one of the other members on this forum that encourages submission to me specifically, these run 24/7 in our bedroom so she gets about 9 hours of exposure a day and most of that when she is sleeping. I also am running a visual program on her computer that allows me to flash custom text messages and pictures at set intervals on her screen, these messages reinforce the silent sub programs running in our bedroom. That took some experimentation to dial in the correct frequency and duration so that she wouldn’t notice them (she is aware of what is going on, but doesn’t want the program to interfere with her working on the computer).

Almost immediately I have noticed a change, she has initiated sexual activity almost every day since the 2nd of October though her submissive side is still struggling to emerge, I have hesitated to push on that at this time and allow the sub programs to integrate themselves more fully. I plan to slowly increase the demands on her submissive side from once a week to a couple times a week to eventually every day, probably phase this in over a course of the next month or so. We have a 6-day break starting today (not with the messages, but with physical activity) due to relatives staying with us.

I also began researching the usage of hypnosis and plan to introduce her slowly to that as well, first with orgasm centric hypnosis to get her comfortable with the idea and then introduce triggers to bring out her submissive side.

[Fizbin]

10/09/2014 at 1:29 pm

Welcome to the Stepford Men’s Association!

It sounds like you have a solid plan overall. It is great that you have active buy in from your wife, too. One side effect of this, however, may be a bit of a placebo effect. If she knows the gist of the goals of the program, she might actually start acting them out, even if you didn’t do anything! (Not that this is a bad thing, it just makes accounting for the actual cause of any changes difficult )

Anyway, good luck with your program, and keep us posted!

[Serebus0126]

10/09/2014 at 2:12 pm

Thanks for the welcome and advice. I was actually on top of that thought though, she is aware of the program, but not the goals. She thinks the program is to help her relax (deal with stress better) and be healthier (exercise and better diet, etc). She has no idea what the actual contents are.

[sdalie]

10/14/2014 at 10:49 am

Curious what program you are using for flashing pictures / words.
Thanks
Sdalie

[Serebus0126]

10/15/2014 at 11:01 am

Subliminal Message from MindOfAWinner.

[sdalie]

10/18/2014 at 1:34 pm

Thank you!

[Serebus0126]

10/29/2014 at 5:04 pm

So just an update. I have had the same scripts running for just over 3 weeks now. They are focused on the submissiveness side and also increasing her desire for anal sex.

This week I started really pushing on her submissive side, so instead of asking her to do things I have change the phrasing into more of an order. For example, instead of asking her to go change her outfit, I tell her “Go upstairs on put on XXX outfit” and she immediately goes and does it. So this is definitely an improvement. She also is spending more of her free time away from FB and the computer and cuddles up to me on the sofa (because she knows I like to touch and fondle her while watching TV or whatever). I was also able to just sit on our bed and order a BJ and she immediately knelt down and sucked me off.

The anal sex side is coming more slowly. I am trying to encourage her to enjoy and ask for more anal sex. There is some increase in her presenting her ass to me, she is constantly rubbing it against me during the day as she walks past me and when we get in bed she immediately rolls on to her side and pushes her ass back against me, but when it comes time for penetration she is still shying away from it. Sometime last this week I plan to “order” her to take it in the ass so we will see how much her submissiveness can help over-come her anal inhibitions. We have done it before and she liked it, but she still has hang-ups about it and I only manage to talk her into it about once a year.

We have also discussed hypnosis as a stress relief thing and that I could give her some mind blowing orgasms. She said she would be interested in learning about it, but we have not yet setup any time to try it, though I have found some induction scripts and read some useful material on the subject. Hopefully in November when our schedules calm down a bit.

[LordIceWing]

10/30/2014 at 12:51 am

Minor suggestion, but you may want to get her used to things in her ass before you move to anal intercourse… buttplugs (Small, then increasing in size) may be a good way to go.

There is some ‘blingy’ style anal ‘jewelry’ http://www.extremerestraints.com/butt-plugs_1/extreme-anal-jewelry_257.html

[Serebus0126]

10/30/2014 at 1:10 pm

Thanks for the advice LIW, though she actually doesn’t have a problem with plugs, beads, etc. Though she doesn’t like to wear them around, but while in the bedroom she enjoys them, she actually prefers them to the real thing. Which is what I am trying to over-come.

I even make our own dildos and plugs out of wood on the lathe, which she likes and gives me feedback on.

[LordIceWing]

10/30/2014 at 11:48 pm

interesting…. I’m assuming you’re fairly careful with which varnishes and sealants you’re using…. any particular recommendations?

[Serebus0126]

10/31/2014 at 10:37 pm

My main finish is always Deft Danish Oil, it is food safe and hypo-allergenic. Never had an issue. Items are always allowed to dry for two weeks before use.

[gtbear]

11/01/2014 at 4:15 pm

I do a bit of stuff on the lathe with wood and plastic etc. for your butt plugs here’s a finish that you might find useful; mix 1 part bee’s wax with 3 to 4 parts highest grade olive oil. If you want to polish to a higher finish then add 1 tenth part carnuba wax to the mix. (good for skin too).

[Serebus0126]

11/04/2014 at 12:09 pm

Thanks for the finish suggestion gtbear.

After reading through Tap’s forum topic (all 4 pages) I decided to change things up a bit since I kinda rushed into this subliminal thing without having the time to fully read through the forums (I was in the middle of a 3-month bear of a class which finished up last week). So this past weekend I switched to two scripts, based on Tap’s obedience and BJ script. Now I just read his update about playing a single script at once based on Trainer’s experience, one at night and one during the day. So I am going to let the dual script playlist finish out the week and then this weekend switch to a single topic script and alternate each week. I switched from anal to BJ as well since she has always been comfortable with giving BJs but they tend to only happen once every other month, so as a good experiment I am trying to increase their frequency: and she has started to orally stimulate almost every night now as part of foreplay, she doesn’t finish and asks me to f*** her which I oblige her to give her a reward for at least starting the BJ, just getting her to use her mouth more makes me happy. I am also playing with conditionals and have two lines in there:
When I wake up, I give my husband a BJ.
Giving my husband Serebus a BJ every morning, makes him happy.

Yesterday she mentioned that she almost got up to meet me for a BJ as I came out of the bathroom to leave for work but she was too tired (her alarm goes off at 5:45 and she is not a morning person), so I consider this progress but may not achieve the desired result of daily, morning BJ’s just because she is so slow to wake up and I am a morning person and am usually up and gone 10 minutes after her alarm goes off.

I have also upped the exposure by loading the TJ player on her computer and that plays when she is using it and I have the house stereo setup to play on a timer so that plays once the kids are out of the house. They are not allowed to touch her laptop and when she isn’t using it is put to sleep so not overly concerned about exposure from that.

As far as the obedience script, that is definitely working (though she has been on submissive scripts since day 1), she is now looking to me to make all her decisions. Even yesterday, for example, we decided to switch my basement work-out space for the boys’ playroom (too many toys and they are out-growing the space they are in and I need taller ceilings for my equipment and stretching) and I started to move stuff out of the basement into the office to start making space, she started to complain about working in a “storage unit” and using my authoritative tone, I told her this was the way it was going to be and she would deal with it for the week, she quickly stopped complaining and just nodded her head, eyes cast down which indicated to me she is accepting my authority without question.

Well cheers and will keep updating when I have time…

[Fizbin]

11/05/2014 at 12:06 pm

Congratulations on the successes!

How have you found the TJ player in actual use? Does it appear to leave any subtle signs that it is running (other than the obviously desired effects of what it plays… ) ?

[Serebus0126]

11/05/2014 at 3:13 pm

The TJ player is well hidden. The icon disappears into the hidden task bar and you have to right click it to open it. My wife gets frustrated just trying to use Word and Excel (but who doesn’t) and certainly lacks the expertise to start playing around with the task bar and hidden icons so I have no worries there.

Also even after right clicking and hitting Open it immediately pops up with a message that this program is password protected, no hint as to what the program is. So until the password is entered there is no outward sign as to what it is and what it is doing.

Only nit-picky issue I have with it is that it doesn’t default to one of the user buttons. For example, after entering the password, one would expect to be able to hit and it to default to the “Ok” user button, but it does not, you must physically move the mouse to the “Ok” button and click it. This holds true for all the interactive menus with it.

One other issue I found yesterday: when I was trying to change one of the tracks I removed a track from the playlist intending to overwrite it with a new track (same file name), but Windows would not let me delete the file because it said it was still in use by the player. I had to kill the player’s process before Windows would recognize the file as not in use and allow me to delete it and update it with a new file on the disk.

[brownie]

11/13/2014 at 7:58 am

Hi, I’m impressed by the results that you have seemed to booked over a very short period. Especially as i don’t seem to make any progress with just audio files. I’ll write another topic about that soon. But because of that context, I have some questions regarding the Mind of a winner program you use for flashing text messages:
– what are the setting you use for flashing them ? I have also installed the program on my wife’s laptop, and have put it to 10 ms (subconscious) flashes with the recommended 4 sec intervals, but as it’s on a laptop screen, i have the impression that with some viewing angles the subliminals are barely visible when they flash on screen; on the other hand she’s not aware. And going from 10 ms to 20 ms seems to make the flashing more visible.
– You flash them randomly on the screen or at a fixed position ?
– are you using exactly the same affirmations as in your audio subliminals ?
– you mention that you’re also flashing images. I guess these are explicit sexual pictures ? I’ve noticed that when pointing to a picture, the program creates a smaller version of it. Are you flashing those smaller ones or the initial big formats ? I’m very interested in using pictures too, but i’m a bit afraid that these will show more clearly that something is flashing. I’m especially scared that at some point, the program might freeze with a picture clearly visible on screen.

Sorry for all the questions.

[Serebus0126]

11/13/2014 at 12:17 pm

No worries, I’m an engineer, I deal with lots of questions every day, most of them my own

I started off using messages and images, set at 10ms duration, 4 seconds frequency. This is running on her laptop but when she is using that it is sitting on a desk anyway and staring at it. The images/messages were set to fixed location, centered on the screen and I changed the font size and color to contrast with the desktop background.

Unfortunately the sexually explicit images she noticed and complained of a virus on her laptop so those went away. Then after about a month she said the flashing text messages were also starting to annoy her so had to remove those as well. So we are strictly down to audio.

I can also provide an update that I am seeing mixed/confusing results now. It seems the first week after introduction of a new file/script she behaves almost instantly on it, then during the second week the behavior pretty much stops dead. I provide positive feedback and encouragement during that first week but to no avail. This week is a tough week for us schedule wise though and so that might be part of the 2nd week slump. Week 3 on the current BJ file is next week so will see how that turns out.

I also began playing with the scripts whether they are first or second person (I am vs. you are). Right now I am running a mixed script (the “I am” script for had almost no effect on my wife). Every person is different and it is going to take experimentation to see what your subject responds to which takes time.

The other day I recorded the script using my own voice though I am not using it yet, I plan to introduce that script at the end of next week if there is no noticeable improvement before that.

Even though the behavior stopped during this past week, I do catch her staring at my package and biting her lip like she wants to act on something but something is getting in her way (usually the kids are home). So I think I need to start acting on these moments if the opportunity presents itself.

Cheers.

[brownie]

11/13/2014 at 1:35 pm

Thanks for your fast reaction.

In my case, i also use 10s duration with 4 seconds intervals. But I haven’t changed the font size and color, as the dafault shows pretty good on white background which still appears a lot during actif work (email, google, …). But my pictures appear in a random position on the screen as I dindn’t want them to be too easily spotted. For pictures, I haven’t had the courage yet to start flashing them. But when I read your last mail, I start wondering if the fast reactions you got from the start couldn’t have been linked to the pictures rather than to the messages ?

[Serebus0126]

11/13/2014 at 3:02 pm

Could be. I just stopped the text messages last week.

I will say that there is definitely an over-all effect going on since day one. She now almost completely relies on me to make her decisions for her and she is a lot hornier (pretty much constant state of semi-arousal, a lot more casual brush-ups and touching when we are together, etc.). Now I am trying to focus that physical desire into the behaviors that I prefer to see and get her past some of her hang-ups.

[LordIceWing]

11/13/2014 at 11:09 pm

One thing I’ll suggest is that you look into Reactance…

Link One

Link Two

Link Three

Link Four

As somebody who has been in a M/s D/s relationship for the better part of two decades, I will say that, IMHO, its a real thing.

L.I.

[Serebus0126]

11/18/2014 at 12:11 pm

Thanks LI, I read through all of those, but it turns out in our situation it really was just a bad weekly schedule and that time of the month for her…when her sexual desire reads pretty much 0.

I recently went to a mixed file: the first half of my BJ script is in Amy’s voice using “I/am” affirmations. I then repeated the script using my voice but switched to “you/are” affirmations. The combined file has been showing faster results than a file only using Amy’s voice.

I tend to make any changes to the files being played on Thursday nights since I have an hour or so home alone so this was introduced last Thursday with tweaks based on her responses and an additional conditional. On both Friday and Sunday nights she acted on one of the previous conditionals and yesterday she acted on the new conditional for the first time, so will see what happens as time progresses.

Currently I have three conditionals and have had success with two. The morning one is the toughest since she is not a morning person and usually takes 30 minutes to “wake-up” enough to get out of bed and face her day, though I am not sure the best condition to put on it either.
Right now I have:
When I go to bed, I give my husband a BJ.
When I get home from work, I give my husband a BJ.
When my morning alarm goes off, I give my husband a BJ.

Originally the morning one was “When I wake up, I give my husband a BJ”

So she is performing the go to bed one pretty consistently now: every night or every other night at least, but she is a night person so comes to bed still pretty awake.
Yesterday she did the come home from work one for the first time, but that was only introduced last Thursday so pretty much on schedule for her to accept new behaviors.
The morning one I have had 0 success with and I think I am just going to have to give up on it, but will probably run it until the end of November when I plan to switch script topics anyway.

Also thinking of switching it out with a trigger:
When my husband *performs action XYZ*, I give him a BJ.

Cheers.

[trainer81]

11/18/2014 at 6:18 pm

Hmm how about adding something like,

I love giving my Husband a blow job.
Giving my Husband a blow job is enjoyable.

I found by using the word love will enforce the girl’s need for wanting something like this.

Trainer81

[Tap]

11/19/2014 at 5:11 am

I agree with Trainer. What might help is if you equate giving BJ with some benefit or pleasure for her. At least with my wife, last year and for as long as I’ve known her, she never wanted to do it and hated it. She said she would rather divorce than do it. Well, with consistent use of my BJ subliminal which I tried to make it very positive for her, she finally does it and likes doing it.

However, you get it almost every night so I’m sure that’s already success in itself.

[Serebus0126]

11/19/2014 at 11:44 am

Thanks, my BJ script was based on Tap’s and contains several positive reinforcements like that.
Giving my husband a BJ, is fun. (she complained the other week it was not as much fun for her, so I added the fun part last week)
Giving my husband a BJ, is ecstasy.
Giving my husband a BJ, is happiness.

I cannot remember all the affirmations from memory, but I will double check and ensure there are some along those lines as well.

[brownie]

11/22/2014 at 5:52 pm

Thanks for the interesting info. I’ll definately have a look at it. Have you translated these ideas into usefull subliminal scripts to overcome that Reactance ?

[MasterSouthernStar]

11/22/2014 at 7:59 pm

Serebus;

My personal opinion is that a trigger is the way to go. Getting three blow jobs a day sounds great – until it’s been a year or two and all the sudden you’re sick as a dog and she HAS to. Believe me it can wear on you. Better to set it up that she feels like she has to – when you call for it. Much better idea as far as practicality is concerned – honest.

MSS

[Tap]

11/24/2014 at 1:19 am

Serebus,
I’m glad my script helped a bit. I’m always looking for ways to word my BJ script better to increase the number of times shes gives me one. I find it interesting how you indicated times when she should do it and it’s working for you. I might change or add some lines like that.

[brownie]

12/25/2014 at 2:03 am

Hi Serebus, I was wondering how things were going for you right now. Especially since you seemed to have such fast results. Best seasons’s greetings

[LordIceWing]

12/28/2014 at 6:23 pm

@brownie said:

Thanks for the interesting info. I’ll definately have a look at it. Have you translated these ideas into usefull subliminal scripts to overcome that Reactance ?

I’m not 100% sure there’s an easy way to beat Reactance… It’s the mind (one whatever level) trying like mad to resist the complete destruction of an entrenchedcurrent ‘World View’.

IMHO (and YMMV), the bestonly way to deal with it is to take it slowly. If you have to, back off the subliminals for a bit, then try again…

Be firm, but consistent, but willing to yield a BIT of ground if need be. (Remember, which works better? Honey or Vinegar?) Don’t act like a petulant child because you’re not getting your way. Be an adult and take your timebe patient. Talk to your partner, cause communication is the key to everything.

In a lot of ways, it’s not all that different than working with a wildferalskittish animal… Raising your voice, being aggressivelashing out is a GREAT way to burn trust.

[Serebus0126]

01/15/2015 at 4:26 am

Starting after Christmas I started on a new routine. After doing some reading on female psychie (emotional vs. Thinking) I moved away from trying to influence her thoughts and ideas to manipulating her emotions. This made a huge difference.

My approach thus far:
The week between Christmas and New Years I switched to a new file based on the slut mantra. Basically plays on her feelings and emotions to become a submissive and horny slut.

Starting on my first day back to work in January (the 5th) I would send her a random text during the day, every day. The text is always worded to start with “I want”.
For example: “I want you to be happy.” “I want you to know you are my best friend.”

So for two weeks I only sent these feel good “I want” texts. Yesterday about an hour after sending her feel good text I sent her my first sexual request text. She did not get it done but what I was surprised with was her response when I got home. She apologized several times for not completing the task, made it up to me with a BJ as soon as I got home and promised to complete it this morning.

I texted her this morning, again with her feel good txt and then a text reiterating her task with a line in there to not disappoint me. She assured me she will complete the task this morning and she is going to organize her daily routine to make time for these daily requests I send her.

Before I tried this new approach she was always against daily tasks and would always argue against them. Now she seems eager to do them and fears disappointing me.

So while I still thnk the subliminal is a useful tool, if you can find additional tools and methods to influence behavior, be open to trying them.

[tonguester4_69]

01/15/2015 at 8:24 am

Interesting! Can I see your version of the Mantra? I have a revised version as the only file I’m playing now.