Seeeken’s Journal ( old flame continued)

[seekenq]

03/14/2014 at 4:28 pm

First:
A big Thank you to Trainer for reworking the Gold Forums.
The new header names makes it much easier to know when you are in the Gold area.
Since Trainer added a new Gold Journal section I am moving my journal here.

I’ve been running the same custom His Happiness / Obedience and I Love Sex / Oral scripts for well over a month (with a couple of minor tweeks)
I would like sex more frequency and, I think like most of us, more oral.
She is willing but with her current health issues / energy level I have to concede it’s just not in the cards right now.

While I’m really happy with my progress to date I decided to shift focus until she is feeling better.
I’m going to change out my ILS script for something that takes her more in the direction of submission and obedience.
I’m trying to lay groundwork to make her more comfortable giving up self in hopes of someday having her become a slave.

Her nickname that we use in conversation is sweetie.
Lately I have been using “sweetie girl” and “my sweetie girl” instead.
I have also been using third person pronouns more often in conversation.
As a newbie to this I find it hard to do since use of I / you are so ingrained and so it feels really awkward
Last weekend during sex she whispered in my ear that she loved being my sweetie girl.
This prompted me to write a sweetie girl script.
Any feedback / suggestions most welcome.

>>>>>>>

I want to be a Sweetie Girl.
Sweetie Girl is the best part of me.
I need to be >>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<>WNAME<>WNAME<>WNAME<>WNAME<>NAME<>NAME<>NAME<<.
Sweetie Girl is a slut.
Sweetie Girl is a fuck toy.
Sweetie Girl is perfect.

[seekenq]

03/14/2014 at 5:53 pm

Hmmm….
Not what it looked like when I hit submit Reply
I’ll try again without the > and < signs.

I want to be a Sweetie Girl.
Sweetie Girl is the best part of me.
I need to be NAME’s Sweetie Girl.

Sweetie girl is sexy.
Sweetie girl is beautiful.
Sweetie girl is perfect.

Sweetie Girl is me.
I am Sweetie Girl.
Being Sweetie Girl is wonderful.

Sweetie girl is submissive to Master NAME.
Sweetie girl’s submission is absolute.
Absolute submission is happiness.

Submission is my connection to Master NAME.
Being Connected to Master NAME feels Fantastic.
Sweetie Girl is absolutely submissive to Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl feels absolutely connected to Master NAME.

Master NAME makes all decisions for Sweetie Girl.
Sweetie Girl trusts Master NAME in all things.
Sweetie Girl loves Master NAME controlling her.

Sweetie Girl always asks permission from Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl craves permission from Master NAME.
Asking permission makes me feel safe and secure.
Asking permission makes me happy.

Sweetie girl is obedient to Master NAME.
Sweetie girl’s obedience is absolute.
Absolute obedience makes me happy.

Sweetie Girl needs to oh bay Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl must oh bay Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl loves oh baying Master NAME.

The more Sweetie Girl oh bays the better she feels.
The better Sweetie Girl feels the more she needs to Oh bay
Sweetie girl’s need to be obedient increases every day

Obedience equals pleasure.
Sweetie Girl Craves pleasure.
Perfect Obedience to Master NAME is ecstasy.

Obedience is my connection to Master NAME.
Being Connected to Master NAME feels Fantastic.
Sweetie Girl is perfectly obedient to Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl feels wonderfully connected to Master NAME.

[ An sdalie trigger attempt since she is taking tons of supplements right now]
Doctor DNAME wants sweetie Girl to take her pills.
Her pills make Sweetie Girl healthy.
Sweetie girl must take pills every day.

Every pill makes Sweetie Girl stronger.
Every pill makes WNAME less important.
Every pill helps me to become Sweetie Girl.

Sweetie girl is taking over.
WNAME is fading away.
Sweetie Girl is better than WNAME

Being Sweetie Girl is wonderful.
Being WNAME is difficult.
I must become Sweetie Girl

Sweetie Girl is happy.
Sweetie Girl is content.
Sweetie Girl is safe.
Sweetie Girl is passionate.
Sweetie Girl is sexual desire.
Sweetie Girl is submissive to Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl is obedient to Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl belongs to Master NAME.
Sweetie Girl is a slut.
Sweetie Girl is a fuck toy.
Sweetie Girl is perfect.

[gtbear]

03/14/2014 at 6:22 pm

instead of absolute perhaps ‘complete’.
absolutely = completely?
‘less important’ might be negative?
‘perfect’ would preclude change would it not?
‘I must become’ = I must be…
‘taking over’ = stronger or better…

[eldrin81]

03/14/2014 at 6:38 pm

The perfect lines could backfire. Only way to know is to test them out. She might take it from the point of view that she is already perfect, so why change? Or they may have their intended effect.

[eldrin81]

03/14/2014 at 6:41 pm

Sweetie Girl is sexual desire.

This line makes no sense. While talking with another sub-buddy, I came to the realization that if you have to consciously think about the meaning, then its probably not clear enough for the subconscious.

The pill lines, atleast the generic ones that don’t make specific mention to her meds, should be kept an eye on at the least. THey might encourage her to start taking just any pill/supplement she runs upon.

[Tap]

03/16/2014 at 1:35 am

I think it’s good if she knows she is sweetie girl and typically refers to herself in the third person when she thinks. However, if she thinks in “I” terms, it would be better to just say “I am” for all your affirmations. It’s her inner voice talking so it must be believable to herself.

[seekenq]

03/16/2014 at 2:32 pm

Thanks for all the feedback.
I’ll reword it a bit to incorporate the suggestions and repost is shrotly.

[eldrin81]

03/16/2014 at 4:28 pm

@Tap1 said:

I think it’s good if she knows she is sweetie girl and typically refers to herself in the third person when she thinks. However, if she thinks in “I” terms, it would be better to just say “I am” for all your affirmations. It’s her inner voice talking so it must be believable to herself.

I think this can be alleviated by simply having a line like the following placed in a few strategic locations.

I am NAME’s Sweetie Girl.

[seekenq]

04/07/2014 at 3:26 am

I haven’t posted in a while.
I kind of hit a wall in terms of figuring out what I wanted to do next in terms of scripts.
I decided to split things into separate daytime scripts and nighttime scripts.
The night time scripts are:
1) A custom focused on His happiness and being submissive to master.
2) A script to build identification as a sweetie girl who provides pleasure (a third person identity).
The daytime scripts are:
1) A custom I Love Sex
2) A custom Oral script.
All include some trigger references.
I realize this is a bit much in terms of conventional wisdom but I want to see if separate daytime and nighttime content will give a little more leeway.
The daytime and nighttime are programs are very different themes so I should be able to see results in different areas.

In terms of sex things continue to improve and amazingly so.
Other than frequency limitations due her health / energy level situation, I could not be happier.
As she continues to recover I am hopeful we will increase frequency to several times a week.
She has repeatedly said she want to but just does not have the energy.

Last night was our normally scheduled data night and she dressed up in sexy clothes and 6 inch heals and did a strip tease for me.
I then got an enthusiastic blow job with her taking me into her throat and followed by a reverse cowgirl finish.
What I can’t adequately describe is the enthusiasm and willingness to please during the entire evening.
This extends beyond the bedroom to daily interactions where she is far more sexual than she has ever been.
This is all from a woman who 6 months ago was disinterested in anything remotely sexual.

[gtbear]

04/07/2014 at 3:37 am

Wow!
Happy Trails To You…

[FaustsBoon]

04/08/2014 at 4:42 pm

Sounds great man. Again, congrats, and enjoy the… *ahem* ride.

[seekenq]

04/09/2014 at 1:41 pm

All: Not ignoring posts – I can’t see them. Working with Trainer to get it fixed soon.

[trainer81]

04/09/2014 at 6:15 pm

@seekenq said:

All: Not ignoring posts – I can’t see them. Working with Trainer to get it fixed soon.

Okay all fixed I believe, it had to do with permissions setup

Trainer81

[seekenq]

04/10/2014 at 3:35 am

Thanks Trainer All Good now!

Thanks for the support Bear and Faust.
The ride has been amazing in more ways than one.

[MasterSouthernStar]

04/13/2014 at 5:27 pm

Seekenq;

Congrats!! Sounds like a good deal. Keep up the good work.

MSS

[seekenq]

05/11/2014 at 12:19 am

5/10/14:

Well it’s been a month of my experiment with running super long scripts so it’s time for an update.
I posted the scripts over in the gold scripts if any one wants to see them.
Hopefully there will be a line or two others find useful.
Two scrips run in the bedroom (night) and two scripts run in the living room and in her office (day). (3 playback devices).
She is exposed to one or the other whenever she is at home.
Now I just need to figure something out for her car :^)

As I mentioned over in the scripts section – I am seeing significant across-the-board improvement but no huge gain in any one area.
She has been completely and willingly obedient to every day-to-day thing I ask with zero back talk, attitude, or resistance.
I am still phrasing things as requests and just every once in a while giving her a command.
When I just use a command she does it without complaint but I can tell she is a little uneasy.

She has become super affectionate and wants hugs and kisses from me often.
When we embrace she now regularly grinds her pussy into my crotch or leg.
She is super happy and excited when she does it instead of being tentative or reluctant.
A year ago this never would have happened.

I can grab her ass and breasts whenever I feel like it and she doesn’t objects and instead seems to enjoy it.
When she is working in the kitchen I can grab her from behind and she wiggles her ass into me.
Recently I have been rubbing her pussy and now she doesn’t object or try to stop me.
This is a huge change from only a month ago.

One of may main goals was to get her to accept a sweetie girl persona and you will see this is all my scripts.
She now definitely accepts me calling her sweetie girl or sweetie.
I don’t recall the last time I used her given name in conversation or in texts.
She is starting to refer to herself as sweetie girl and occasionally uses the third person when referring to herself.
I don’t correct her if she uses “I” but I am starting to ignore her if she uses “I” and am attentive if she uses sweetie girl or “she”.

Example: I ofter pick up some grocery store flowers when I return home from a trip (an old tradition).
She likes the take them into the bedroom at night and back into the living room during the day.
When she brings them into the room I ask who’s flower’s are those and she happily reply’s “sweetie girl’s”.
I say sweetie girl must be lucky she says “yes she is” or “yes, she has a wonderful husband”.

She is starting to dress a bit sexier but mainly at night when going to bed or in the AM before she get’s dressed.
I have not seen the “grandma” pajamas in a couple of weeks now.
Usually a short camisole and no bottoms for easy access.
She used to balk at me rubbing her breasts or pussy at night but is now letting me do pretty much what I want.

Frequency of sex has also improved from once a week to twice this week so far (Sun and Thurs) and tonight is “date night”.
My near term goal is sex of some kind regularly three or four times a week.
When I left on my trip (early in the AM on Monday) I took out a sexy corset I bought for her and laid it on top of her on the bed.
I said I would be home around 8 on Thursday night and wanted her to be ready.
She smiled and said she would be.

I sent a text when I landed at the airport and a couple more progress reports on the way home.
When I walked in she was wearing the corset, a sexy robe, stockings and 5″ heels.
We did make it to the bedroom but just barely.
She gave me a great blow job and had even gotten some whipped cream and caramel flavored warming lube.
She loves it and so do I – highly recommended.

Blow jobs are normal now but just as a warmup to regular sex not as a stand alone act.
Today I was leaving to run some errands and as I kissed her, she whispered that she was looking froward to some caramel desert later.
A couple of months ago I told her that I want her to learn to deep throat and she has been trying and making improvements.
Not yet where I want to be but pretty amazing because until a few months ago it literally had been years since my last blow job.

I did start drinking pineapple juice and told her that it is supposed to make my come taste sweeter.
I also cut out red meat from my diet and told her I was doing it for the same reason.
At first she rolled her eyes and said don’t bother since she is not into “doing that”.
Lately she has been making jokes about pineapple juice in a flirty kind of way.
I hope to get to the point where she can take me completely into her throat, likes me to come in her mouth and swallows all of it.
Difficult goals I admit but I am making progress and am hopeful that, with patience and soem good scripts, I will get there.

All in all I feel good about my results from very long scripts that conventional wisdom says won’t be that effective.
As always, what is difficult to explain is the happiness and enthusiasm which she now associates with sex and being sexy.
That continues to improve every day.

[seekenq]

06/01/2014 at 10:19 pm

6/1/14 Update

Well I seem to have plateaued out using the long scripts and perhaps even a small back slide.
Things peaked a couple of weeks ago but then dropped off.
She is still affectionate and happily gives me a blow job when we have sex but… the frequency has dropped off to once a week and last week not at all.
She is once again filling her week with too many things and is either too busy or too tired.
While I do attribute some new positive behaviors to the new long scripts, I would say the the big gains were due to the earlier shorter scripts.
The experiment was certainly not a total bust, but I am going back to a shorter His Happiness, I Love Sex, and an Oral/DT/Swallow script.
Not entirely surprising sinceI knew I was pushing well outside of the conventional wisdom (gained over years of experience) of the group.
I consider this another conformation to keep it to a few scripts (3 max) and keep them shorter (30 or so affirmations).
Will do another update in a few weeks or when I see significant changes.

[Tap]

06/02/2014 at 4:09 am

Seekenq, it didn’t hurt to try it though. I myself tried the long custom format for a good 4 months straight. I believe it can take you so far. For the behaviors which she really doesn’t like, a short focused script is your best chance to breakthrough on it.

[seekenq]

07/17/2014 at 10:19 pm

A short update…

I switched back to two shorter scripts a couple of weeks ago.
A short focused ILS and an oral script.

We had a date night planned and about an hour before hand she was outside and got stung on the arm by a wasp.
She is pretty allergic to insect bites and her arm swelled up a fair amount.

I got a nice blow job with hand job finish (still making no progress on swallow) and right afterwords she said that this time was “not as much fun” because her throat was kind of tight and she could not go as deep.
Some lines in my oral script relate BJ and DT with being fun.

In Bear’s immortal words… “go nanites go”

[gtbear]

07/18/2014 at 10:47 pm

Seekenq,

Since I started using the local subliminals and advise on customs, I have found great satisfaction in each notch on the pistol grip of my goals for C list. Intertainment wise alone, the price of admission has proven to be modest indeed. Every time one of the little phrases or conditions from one of the scripts comes bubbling up out of the girl its as though a fine electric shock of pure happy accomplishment rivits my attention to her cute little self. I hear a new sirens song… “more… better… further…” It’s ever a rush. I just love seeing the scripts do the job on those tuff girl upgrades!

Congrats on your successful scripting!