Respectful Behavior journal

[tonguester4_69]

08/04/2013 at 8:18 pm

I recently posted a custom script I created in the Gold forum.I took Trainer’ Respectful Behavior script, and added certain hings , and removed others in order to tailor it to my wife.After making a few minor  changes from comments by other Gold members I recorded it ,and started playing it with a modified version of qwerty’s arousal file(also from the Gold forum). The thought was to test the relationship between love and respect and how it relates to sexual desire.As I said in my old journal, my wife seems to have little to no desire for sex for herself, yet seems to get satisfaction from fulfilling my desires, whenever I want it.While I can’t share the script here, I would like to share, the results in this forum.So while I have no specific goals in this other than to understand the psyche of my wife, and get her to open up more to me. I believe this journal will be useful (if the files are successful) to those coming after me, with the goal of understanding their wives better and how to best motivate them.                                                             I started playing these files last night. We spent a pleasant 3-4 hours chatting with my adult son with them playing.There are a couple of lines in the file, about my wife sharing her thoughts and fears with me.When we woke up this morning my wife was unusually affectionate, as we lay in bed, and after awhile she confided in me that she had had a dream, in which her father had molested her 3 times. While she said it had never actually happened, she confided that there were a couple instances where, she was exposed to things that affected her view of sex and relationships.Without going into details,let’s just say the way she is makes more sense in light of this.She also confided that she’s had these dreams in the past. So it seems like those lines , at least are already affecting her, as for her to ever cast her father in a negative light is practically unheard of.Hopefully this will continue, time will tell.

[Fizbin]

08/04/2013 at 10:19 pm

Interesting. I’ve sometimes wondered if, as our women become acclimatized to these files in general, whether they would instinctively start listening for “new” thoughts as they occur, rather than needing to have them worm their way into their behaviors as they do at the beginning.

It is somewhat the converse of my fatigue theory, wherein hearing the same affirmations over and over (once they have “taken”, of course), might actually be counterproductive…

[MasterSouthernStar]

08/05/2013 at 4:28 pm

Tonguester;

                 Fascinating.  Please keep up the reports on this one as this is almost rue Science.  Her reaction is fascinating and more to the point I am so glad you have a little better understanding of her background so you can help lead her in the right direction more effectively.  This one is very interesting.  I hope I can remember to look up the script when I become a gold member later this year as it sounds terribly interesting.

Keep up the good work!

MSS

[tonguester4_69]

08/06/2013 at 5:11 am

I knew going into these scripts way back when, that she was extremely susceptible to subliminals as I had used a seduction/arousal subliminal w/music with almost instant success.Most of my problems with her accepting these scripts has mostly because they were competing with the programming she gets from work and friends. This script especially the part I mentioned above doesn’t really conflict with that and I think that’s why that line especially took so easily.Because she became aware of the sex files I had used before, she became suspicious of any files she thought might be subliminals to get her more into sex.In this file  the closest I come to sex are lines about her desire for me.So I hope this will lead to her opening up to me more about the things she fears, and through her depending on me to help her, lead to a deeper submission and desire to please me.

[tonguester4_69]

08/10/2013 at 12:10 pm

Well today marks one week, I’ve been playing my RB file, along with an arousal file.This has been a strange week as it seems to have been a perfect storm of events reinforcing the files I’m playing.The blog my wife reads every day in her attempts to be a better wife, had a post about the wife initiating sexual contact.She left that to look at the news, and the first thing that caught her eye was an article about how to raise your libido.When she told me about it, I simply told all I said was, “Maybe someone’s trying to tell you something.” So Friday morning she initiated and strangely enough, when she orgasmed she as telling me how good it felt, and how much she enjoyed it.Then immediately after, she thanked me.She almost never says anything during sex unless prompted, and has never expressed any appreciation for her own sexual release, ever.Later as we were getting ready for work, i hugged her from behind , and she briefly wiggled her bottom against my crotch playfully.So it seems she’s becoming more playful sexually,even though I can tell it doesn’t feel natural to her.The Respect file was bolstered last night, when my son-in-law called, and went on a 20 minute rant, on how much I’ve helped him in his marriage to my daughter, and how lucky my children are to have a father like me.So overall things seem to be progressing smoothly.I may post more thoughts later, but for now I gotta go.

[Fizbin]

08/10/2013 at 1:49 pm

Sounds like another week of steady progress. Just to clarify – was it your wife who went on the rant about how great you are, or your son in law?

[tonguester4_69]

08/10/2013 at 3:53 pm

It was my son-in-law.I’ve been talking to  him a lot about taking charge in his marriage, as for a long time after his deployment he was mentally messed for a long time. It was just sort of a reinforcement, of the whole respect thing.Overall, in terms of respect, she tells me that she cringes inside when she hears wives speaking disrespectfully of their husbands.But as I said before, there is a huge difference between acting respectful, and genuine respect, which I believe will lead to increased desire to please.

[tonguester4_69]

08/25/2013 at 3:20 pm

It’s been a couple weeks since I posted, so I thought I’d give ya’ll a report.Nothing really earth-shattering to report.She seems to generally continue on being respectful and much more considerate.She’s gone back to coming to bed in just panties again. i mentoned i could tell when she was irritated about something by the fact that she’ll wear something to bed that night,so…. ever since then, she has faithfully been undressed when in bed,even if I come to bed later. Before, if we didn’t go to bed together, she would sometimes put something on, then take it off when I came to bed. She’s off today, so I plan on testing her to see if she’ll wear something specific for me, as we plan to work in the yard and around the house today. I’ll let you know how that goes.

[Fizbin]

08/25/2013 at 8:01 pm

Sounds slow and steady.

Just out of curiosity, have you introduced your son in law to the wonders of subliminal influence? You’ve encouraged him to take charge, but do you trust him enough to teach him how to play around inside your daughter’s mind?

[tonguester4_69]

08/26/2013 at 2:54 pm

@Fizbin said:
Sounds slow and steady.

 

Just out of curiosity, have you introduced your son in law to the wonders of subliminal influence? You’ve encouraged him to take charge, but do you trust him enough to teach him how to play around inside your daughter’s mind?

In a word NO. I don’t trust his ability to keep the secret, as he suffers from PTSD, from serving in Afghanistan.Also, my wife is constantly talking to her about how to behave respectfully towards him. Also she is her father’s daughter when it comes to sex.

[Fizbin]

08/27/2013 at 12:12 pm

@tonguester4_69 said:

@Fizbin said:
Sounds slow and steady.

 

Just out of curiosity, have you introduced your son in law to the wonders of subliminal influence? You’ve encouraged him to take charge, but do you trust him enough to teach him how to play around inside your daughter’s mind?

In a word NO. I don’t trust his ability to keep the secret, as he suffers from PTSD, from serving in Afghanistan.Also, my wife is constantly talking to her about how to behave respectfully towards him. Also she is her father’s daughter when it comes to sex.

 

Not surprised – I actually half expected an even stronger expression. As much as our little club could use some expansion, I’m not sure “word of mouth” is the best option, even for men who might desperately need it. As long as we’re in the “that stuff doesn’t work, but let them play with their toys” category in most people’s minds, we’re OK. But if we start drawing broad attention with effective results, you can bet some of that attention won’t be the kind any of us wants…

[FaustsBoon]

08/27/2013 at 5:39 pm

@Fizbin said:

@tonguester4_69 said:

@Fizbin said:
Sounds slow and steady.

 

Just out of curiosity, have you introduced your son in law to the wonders of subliminal influence? You’ve encouraged him to take charge, but do you trust him enough to teach him how to play around inside your daughter’s mind?

In a word NO. I don’t trust his ability to keep the secret, as he suffers from PTSD, from serving in Afghanistan.Also, my wife is constantly talking to her about how to behave respectfully towards him. Also she is her father’s daughter when it comes to sex.

 

Not surprised – I actually half expected an even stronger expression. As much as our little club could use some expansion, I’m not sure “word of mouth” is the best option, even for men who might desperately need it. As long as we’re in the “that stuff doesn’t work, but let them play with their toys” category in most people’s minds, we’re OK. But if we start drawing broad attention with effective results, you can bet some of that attention won’t be the kind any of us wants…

Well, listen… If these subliminals really work, even to a modest degree (and increasingly i’m confident that they do)… you have GOT to expect that people in power already know it.  This tiny corner of the internet is not the only place to figure out what is going on, and if guys like us have a rag-tag little research program going, than I assure you that the government has this down to a *ahem* science.

[Fizbin]

08/28/2013 at 12:52 am

@FaustsBoon said:

Well, listen… If these subliminals really work, even to a modest degree (and increasingly i’m confident that they do)… you have GOT to expect that people in power already know it.  This tiny corner of the internet is not the only place to figure out what is going on, and if guys like us have a rag-tag little research program going, than I assure you that the government has this down to a *ahem* science.

Oh, of that there is no doubt. The basic technique we use was patented around 20 years ago (using analog methods, but the idea of creating subliminals through frequency shift was the key piece) by a government security researcher. (He also has patents on methods for using frequency interference for creating sounds that come out of “nowhere”…) My point is that as long as we stay a little “rag-tag” group, we’re probably filed under “mostly harmless”. But you can bet we’re filed under something. If we start getting too big for our britches, we may find ourselves (not necessarily voluntarily) participating in a much more formal research program.

P.S. Correction – the “voice out of nowhere” was invented by a different guy with the same last name…

[FaustsBoon]

08/28/2013 at 4:36 pm

@Fizbin said:

@FaustsBoon said:

Well, listen… If these subliminals really work, even to a modest degree (and increasingly i’m confident that they do)… you have GOT to expect that people in power already know it.  This tiny corner of the internet is not the only place to figure out what is going on, and if guys like us have a rag-tag little research program going, than I assure you that the government has this down to a *ahem* science.

Oh, of that there is no doubt. The basic technique we use was patented around 20 years ago (using analog methods, but the idea of creating subliminals through frequency shift was the key piece) by a government security researcher. (He also has patents on methods for using frequency interference for creating sounds that come out of “nowhere”…) My point is that as long as we stay a little “rag-tag” group, we’re probably filed under “mostly harmless”. But you can bet we’re filed under something. If we start getting too big for our britches, we may find ourselves (not necessarily voluntarily) participating in a much more formal research program.

 

P.S. Correction – the “voice out of nowhere” was invented by a different guy with the same last name…

Well, luckily, for the powers that be… i’m entirely content to drink the Kool-Aid, and quietly enjoy a life with a submissive, sexually ravenous wife.  If they wanna help me out with that process, i’ll be even more inclined to just sit off to the side enjoying sex as my opiate of choice.  :-p

[J66R]

08/29/2013 at 7:25 pm

As an aside I am interested in who this person was that invented the “voice out of nowhere”. I hadn’t heard about that.

[Fizbin]

08/30/2013 at 4:01 am

Here’s the Subliminal patent: http://www.google.com/patents/US5159703

And here’s the disembodied voice patent: http://www.google.com/patents/US6052336

Ironic that both men have the last name Lowrey

[tonguester4_69]

09/03/2013 at 6:01 am

It’s been a month now that I stuck with the playlist. Submissive attitude seems to get better all the time,however not so much in the arousal department.I’m starting to wonder if I need to rework the script to reflect more the way she speaks.Also I think it’d be helpful to put some more concrete actionable suggestions.She never says no to sex,just never seems really into it.I’d say it’s her drive that’s the issue, if it weren’t for the fact she not even open to doing anything about it. She seems perfectly content to have me hop on,and do my thing, without ever getting aroused herself.Will have to rethink my files and how to improve them. In the meantime, I’ll continue with my current playlist.

[Qwerty]

09/03/2013 at 3:46 pm

Tonguester,
Great to hear you are having success. Putting the script in a way she speaks or acts is always a good idea. I think it makes it easier for them to accept the ideas as their own if it is in a manner that they use.

As for the wet fish syndrome (wife just putting out without any desire or enthusiasm) it seems to be a common issue that has shown up in several of the other journals, including my own. If you have access to the gold forums look at some of the scripts there and see if you can gain inspiration from some of those scripts that have shown some success. They may or may not reflect your wants but they should give you some layout and verbage ideas.

As always patience is key. Give the subliminal time to work. Keep up the good work.

[Tap]

09/03/2013 at 11:14 pm

@tonguester4_69 said:

It’s been a month now that I stuck with the playlist. Submissive attitude seems to get better all the time,however not so much in the arousal department.I’m starting to wonder if I need to rework the script to reflect more the way she speaks.Also I think it’d be helpful to put some more concrete actionable suggestions.She never says no to sex,just never seems really into it.I’d say it’s her drive that’s the issue, if it weren’t for the fact she not even open to doing anything about it. She seems perfectly content to have me hop on,and do my thing, without ever getting aroused herself.Will have to rethink my files and how to improve them. In the meantime, I’ll continue with my current playlist.

I agree with the actionable and specific suggestions in your custom. I think if you introduce specific statements about what she should like, eventually you’ll find she starts liking certain positions or certain acts during sex. One I got my wife to like is me pulling her hair during it. Before, she hated it, but now when I do it she gets more excited.

[MasterSouthernStar]

09/07/2013 at 9:47 pm

Tonguester;

             I was just thinking this week about phrasing these things to conform with the subject’s usual speech patterns.  For me it came up in an interesting way.  My girl is extraordinarily hard of hearing.  Last week we went to an audiologist and I sat in on the testing.It’s interesting to me that comprehension is entirely aside from hearing.  That is to say,  what someone who is hard of hearing hears – is not what we hear only quieter – it’s entirely different.  Consequently in addition to having to try to actually just sense the sounds , the hearing impaired actually have to make a conscious effort to “decode” what they DO hear.  How this applies to our efforts here is that my girl can understand me much better than anyone else  and she says it’s because of my speech patterns.  She’s comfortable with the standard structure and doesn’t have to work hard to know what’s coming next – or figure out what it was she just missed.  With strangers she’s always struggling just because they don’t structure their speech like we do in the house here.  I was thinking that principle might come into play in our efforts here in that a subject exposed to subliminals might just entirely miss – or ignore – idea that are not presented in a way that is aurally palatable to them.  That is to say, if it’s an effort to figure out what was said they won’t make that effort.

           I believe this is why you guys who have done customs are seeing much more result than those of us in the cheap seats.  I do intend to upgrade soon but still.  I mean I’ve had reasonable result but I do think  it’s much more effective in the voice of someone who’s familiar with the subject.

           Of course that is my opinion and worth eery penny you paid for it!

MSS

[tonguester4_69]

09/08/2013 at 9:16 pm

This week, I’ve decided to stop all files, as a way of assessing progress. Respectful behavior continues, as does lack of real interest in sex.I can’t help but think, at this point that it is willful, as I’ve expressed my desire for her to show more interest, and more initiative sexually, with no results. I feel like this is her last stronghold of control, before complete submission.I think the only way to approach this is linking sexual desire to respectful behavior, yet struggle with how to express this in a script.As always,any thoughts or opinions are welcomed.

[FaustsBoon]

09/08/2013 at 10:41 pm

@tonguester4_69 said:
This week, I’ve decided to stop all files, as a way of assessing progress. Respectful behavior continues, as does lack of real interest in sex.I can’t help but think, at this point that it is willful, as I’ve expressed my desire for her to show more interest, and more initiative sexually, with no results. I feel like this is her last stronghold of control, before complete submission.I think the only way to approach this is linking sexual desire to respectful behavior, yet struggle with how to express this in a script.As always,any thoughts or opinions are welcomed.

Wow.  Can’t say I agree with stopping files, but you know I always wish you well, and hope for success.

Even the modest successes i’ve had only feel like they’re coming with huge commitment to a tiny play-list, focused goal, constant repetition, and most of all, months on months of no changes, and patience.  I don’t think you’re best served testing waters yet, honestly.

As for linking sex/submission and respect, etc… how about lines like….

– Sex with X is the most important part of my life.

– Sex with X relaxes me and makes us both feel incredible.

– Sex with X keeps our home happy and our lives fulfilling.

etc….

[tonguester4_69]

09/09/2013 at 2:54 am

I understand your trepidation on stopping all files.It’s been a week since I’ve stopped them with no slip in terms of respect and there was no increase in sex drive so i really haven’t lost anything.i feel that a file focusing only on respect is counter-productive, and I felt there is a fatigue factor setting in. Nothing seems to help with her initiating sex, or even talking about it without my bringing it up.I’ve had some success with her being more into it once things get going, but frankly I’m starting to think I’ve gone as far as I can go with the sex issue.She is openly committed to the concept of submission in the passive sense,meaning as long as I initiate and she complies, she considers that submission. She’s simply not willing to take any proactive role in sex at all.

[tonguester4_69]

09/09/2013 at 2:57 am

Also with regards to respect I’ve been driving that home for over a year now, so if it hasn’t stuck by now, I don’t think it’s going to.

[Qwerty]

09/09/2013 at 9:48 pm

Tonguester,
How about something like
Respectful wives always anticipate their husband’s wishes
Sex is an obvious wish my husband requires from me
I want to submit myself completely to all my husband’s wishes
Anticipating my husbands sexual wishes is an ideal way to show my respectful behaviour
Anticipating and submitting to my husband’s wishes gives me a sense of pride and purpose.

Congrats by the way on getting to that comfort level where you know you have gotten as much out of you current scripts as you think is possible without addressing other areas of blockage.

[Tap]

09/10/2013 at 11:44 pm

Another suggestion could be:

I always initiate sex with my husband.
I always start sex with my husband.
Showing interest in sex with my husband is very important to me.

[tonguester4_69]

11/06/2013 at 4:36 pm

I haven’t posted in awhile, so I thought I’d give everyone an update. I had essentially decided it was a lost cause to affect my wife’s interest in sex so I had stopped all files for awhile. The programs I had used I felt had taken me as far as they could, and there was no apparent backslide from stopping from discontinuing them.Interestingly enough we had a mini breakthrough this weekend. I brought up for the millionth time how her lack of interest really bothered me, and maybe too harshly, told her that I was not interested in sex if she really wasn’t interested. I followed this up on Tuesday by taking care of her while not getting anything for myself.She has finally admitted what I knew all along-she has a mental block that keeps her from relaxing and being able to enjoy life in general, most especially sex. We both know where this comes from, and it’s too long of a story to get into, but the end result is I think she might finally be willing to try hypnotherapy. Some of you who have been here a long time may remember, one member who has since disappeared had gotten into a type of hypnosis called RElyfe programming. I’m slightly optimistic,as while subliminal files can produce effective change over time,hypnosis can produce changes almost overnight. At the ripe old age of 57, i don’t feel I have any time to waste. I hope to convince her to let me perform the therapy, as right now she is willing to consider treatment only by a “professional”. I’ll let you guys know how this goes.

[trainer81]

11/06/2013 at 5:36 pm

(I moved this under Gold General Discussions)  Just if where going to start talking about other types of deals like RElyfe programming

Anyways tonguester4 if she’s having [A mental block that keeps her from relaxing and being able to enjoy life in general] you could try a custom that will help her to enjoy life and not just about sex. Help her to see and enjoy life the way you would.

Trainer81

[Tap]

11/07/2013 at 2:55 am

I’ve never heard of that relyfe programming. I suppose that could work if your wife is willing to try some type of therapy. I think a custom with more effective affirmations for what you want out of her could probably help though.

[Fizbin]

11/07/2013 at 3:24 am

Relyfe uses time shifting, NLP, and implanted memory techniques in its hypnosis sessions. Standard, if relatively advanced, application. There are some canned MP3 sessions available that focus on sexual (and general) submission, and even slavery and kink.

[FaustsBoon]

11/08/2013 at 6:34 pm

I think Relyfe also needs a practioners hand to succeed.  Hypnosis mp3’s for the uninitiated just do not (in my experience) work in the least.  If someone is already deeply open to hypnosis, maybe…. but going from never trying hypnosis, to using an mp3 does not impress.  :-p

[tonguester4_69]

11/10/2013 at 7:46 pm

Doesn’t matter-as quickly as she agreed to it she backed out. I’m done.

[Fizbin]

11/12/2013 at 10:21 am

Sorry to hear that. My wife definitely won’t try hypnosis at all, either. She also is plenty deferential most non-physical contact related areas, so I’m going to work on a custom subliminal file specific to the missing component. I’ll definitely post what I come up with. Hopefully it will help.

[tonguester4_69]

12/02/2013 at 3:59 pm

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything, as I’ve been at a sort of stand still as to how to proceed with my wife.During the last few weeks I’ve come to the conclusion that the major problem with my wife is that she’s a spoiled brat, and it’s my fault for spoiling her.I’ve spent way too much time trying to persuade her to behave the way I want her to, and not nearly enough time insisting she behave herself.I’ve instituted a new script for her, which I named Jesus as Lord. The reason for that is two-fold.As we are Christians, it is a script that if she were to happen to see it would not raise any suspicions. Secondly, there are lines in it equating obedience to me as obedience to Jesus. For my part I’ve decided to assume a more dominant position in our relationship. Essentially I’ve decided it’s gonna be my way or the highway. I believe this is how she needs me to be with her, and how I want it to be. As I’m writing this, I know there are some who will be uncomfortable with this approach. I would simply say that over the 38 years of our relationship, I’ve tried every form of persuasion and changing my behavior to try and affect change in my wife. I have decided that I have been wrong in that, and in fact have spoiled her in this attitude. From this point on she will do what I say, how I say, and when I say, with no excuses. At some point in the future I hope to be able to adopts a softer, more loving attitude in our relationship, but for now I believe this is what she needs.

[Tap]

12/04/2013 at 3:19 am

I think that’s a good approach. Don’t spoil her anymore and do what you want. I’ve used that approach and I’ve had good results.

[hotaceazn]

12/05/2013 at 1:34 am

I also agree that if she is spoiled, you consider a custom that deals with that. Something like the following perhaps

Jesus is the head of my family.

Jesus made tonguester4_69 the head of me.

tonguester4_69 is submissive to Jesus.

Jesus wants me to be submissive to tonguester4_69 in all things.

I am to be submissive to tonguester4_69 according to the Bible.

This is Biblical (not going to quote chapter and verse here) and it helps set her mind the way the Bible says.

Hope this helps 

[J66R]

12/05/2013 at 6:33 am

I would absolutely agree here.

I spent 20+ years trying to convince my wife of this biblical certainty. While she would read and intellectually agree, the actual practice was more akin to declaring that she only had to follow my lead if what I wanted was “righteous” and that since she was righteous if what she and I wanted contradicted each other then obviously I was in the wrong so then she didn’t have to obey/follow/submit. It was further complicated by the fact that when we would have discussions and go to the scripture to try to find out, and it turned out I was right she would accuse me of “twisting” things. Even if she eventually admitted to me being right she would get angry because I was, to quote her,”always right.” There were even times when I was wrong, admitted it and changed my thoughts/behavior, and then she would then choose the other side. Frustrating.

Long story short, within a couple of months of instituting the script that said God was pleased when she submitted to me, and looked to me for guidance and acted respectfully, she started actually asking my opinion about things. At first she would ask and then shoot it down, but that was a start. Then she would ask and actually seem to consider what I said. And I reported last week that she has now actually asked me to set her a budget (something she had fought vigorously for 20+ years) and has done fairly well keeping to it.

As I said, I have left my All-in-one script the same for most of this year. And I credit the success I have had with these affirmations associating with God’s will.

I bounce back and forth between His Happiness, Husband Master & Obedient Wife for Trainer’s part. But I have the All-in-one running all the time in every sequence 24/7

I am also careful to happen to bring up scripture quotes  to consciously reinforce those affirmations. Never out of context or out of the blue, but usually as part of a larger set of selected scripture quotes in a family scripture lesson (often with all the kids there too) & in the private couples’ scripture study I try to get us to have together on occasion.

[tonguester4_69]

12/05/2013 at 7:00 am

Thanks for your thoughts guys. I have a script in place that I’m running on my pc 24/7 dealing with this. I’ll try to get around to posting it soon. It’s the only one I’m playing at the moment, because my wife is really good at acting respectful while still maintaining a disrespectful or superior attitude.I expect this to be really hard for her, but necessary for her own good.Oddly enough going into this I thought it would be hard for me too, but it has been easier than all the trying to persuade her, and do things to motivate her. I will keep you guys posted on how this goes.