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  • July 6, 2016 at 8:33 am #0
    Posts: 13
    07/06/2016 at 8:33 am

    • Together for 31 years and married for 28 – no kids and both have high stress professional careers we are highly rewarded for
    • On our first date I held her down and ravished her to her enthusiastic response
    • Over time as we dated and then lived together, we both explored what we characterized then as kinky sex
    • She joyfully wore a collar before we wed
    • During the first decode of our time together, we evolved into a blissful but private master salve relationship
    • Over time as our careers progressed — momentum, life, health, work and family issues derailed our interactions and we became more partners and best friends who lived a great life together
    • I found myself missing our earlier interactions and intensity and developed some anger issues
    • I sought therapy supportive of alternative lifestyles 18 months ago and have used meditation and self-hypnosis to radically change my outlook and let go of the anger

    Short Term Goals
    • Convince myself repeatedly I no longer harbor anger or resentment – done over a year’s time
    • Reconnect and establish new patterns and routines that are closer to the dynamic we originally built the relationship on

    • Being a certified hypnotist [a long story about training I never did anything with that would require a beer to tell] I created some very targeted scripts for both myself and her.
    • Mine focuses on energy and providing the focus on her that is needed – these are very specific to our relationship and my internalized motivations and patterns of behavior
    • Then I created some scripts for her – first was ‘Inner Voice’ second was ‘I belong’ – I also have a very modified HO that reinforces and deepens various states of interaction – more to come on state management
    • The key to the scripts I created was to craft them in an Alderian model where rewards and encouragement are the model used. I had previously gotten very frustrated trying to use classical behavioral modification models where both rewards and punishments were enacted – the threat of punishments were counterproductive in our case and we moved in the wrong direction – thus frustrations begat anger

    • Ten weeks ago I started playing my scripts on my office computer using TJ Payer
    • Six weeks ago I put an electronic picture frame in her home office – she has played it some but often times has it turned off – first two scripts were, and still are, playing
    • I got a Rockler Cannon speaker for the bedroom – did not work for various reasons detailed in other posts
    • Dug an old Samsung Galaxy S2 out of a drawer and put that in the bedroom about 3 weeks ago – same two scripts as frame
    • Over the holiday weekend, we went on a mini ‘staycation’ and I got a hotel room overlooking the park where the local fourth celebration occurred. We did not turn on the TV or even leave the room for 40 hours except to go eat.

    Results so Far
    • Before I get to the results, I must point out that I believe the vast majority of these are from the scripts I did for myself. Every relationship is a dynamic between two sides. I think my focus and attention provided a modified Hawthorne effect [wondering who gets the reference without googling it] responsible for the following
    • We were down being intimate every month or two and usually it was more cuddling than anything else – starting a week to 10 days before our staycation, she started asking to perform oral sex – since this seems to be a major yardstick for this forum, I thought I would use it for comparison purposes – by the time we went away for a couple of days it was holding at two blow jobs a day and it becoming a pattern I am reinforcing – yes this is not an exaggeration, one must be willing to have her focus and preform the act of service without actually coming to completion – believe me it is worth it to only come to completion every couple of days if it establishes the deep pattern of service desired
    • She has on several occasions addressed me as ‘Master’ – this has not happened in years and years
    • Once she has spontaneously said ‘you are my owner and I love being owned by you’ – ownership in the past was a concept she eagerly accepted but was something she was uncomfortable discussing and never liked to express

    Future Plans – subject to change
    • Use the still yet un-played LHO script as well as hypnosis to help deeply define and non-work states. These were worked out between us and used a lot of input from her as to how to characterize each. A strong lessons learned is that the transition between states is probably the biggest stumbling block
    o Public – how we interact in front of others –family, friends, in a store and waitresses should all be considered
    o Chores – when doing everyday stuff needed to keep life moving along
    o Relaxed – down time when we are alone and doing activities like watching TV
    o Slave – focus on the dynamic to the exclusion of all else
    • Better refine each state as far as
    o The transition trigger to switch us both into that state – yes BOTH is important, work on yourself at least as much as her no matter what you think is needed
    o Dress – patterns of clothing selection – conservative, casual, feminine and slutty are all relevant depending on context
    o Address – Jeff,, Sir or Master – which is proper form of address in each mode and situation
    o Collar – which type of collars; Public, House or Slave; should she be wearing. She has several of each type and we need to reinforce that outside of work, an appropriate one must be worn

    OK, for each of your experience what have I missed….????

    I know the changes will really slow down and I am resolved to be patient and go at a speed that makes sense and not dictated by my desires.

    Posts: 616
    07/11/2016 at 6:58 pm

    First, congratulations on your clear success to date!

    You have a solid plan, and (it seems) realistic expectations. So far I would say continue as intended!

    Just out of curiosity, did the line “you are my owner, and I love being owned by you” reflect anything that was in the recording? Or was it totally spontaneous?

    Posts: 13
    07/30/2016 at 7:37 am

    Spontaneous – and historically she has had negative reactions to the concept of ‘ownership’ – and she has subsequently made more comments along these lines – about how ownership is not really a bad thing

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