New training journal

[brownie]

02/26/2014 at 8:23 pm

Hi all, i’ve received so much help during my first days here as a newbie, that i’ve decided to start a training journal of my own here, so that i can profit from your personal experiences and advice and in that way avoid beginners mistakes.

Let me start by introducing ourselves. End of this year, i’ll turn 50 and my wife is currently 44. In september, we’ll be married for 20 years. During those 20 years, our sexlife has never been really wild, and has always lead to a lot of frustration on both sides. Part of the origin for this is simply the fact that, where we match very well on other areas, we absolutely don’t match where sex is concerned. They say that opposites attract, and in our case, that’s really true. I have always been attracted to rather kinky stuff, definately interested in swinging and more kinky stuff, but as I was rather shy and introvert in my young days, so all of that remained largely a fantasy. When I met my wife, she was totally unexperienced sexually, but at the same time a lot more open and extravert, which lead me to believe (pretty naive ) that this would pass and with the right approach I could open her up to being sexually adventurous like me. I talked a lot about my fantasies before we got married, but she never clearly stated that it was nothing for her, rather indicated that she would need a lot of time to get into that lifestyle. So we married, and pretty soon afterwards, it became obvious that she wasn’t that willing to change, and that she was rather hoping that I would forget about that kinky stuff and get back to what she believed to be sexually normal. Over the years, this has lead to quite some heavy discussions an frustration, but we have always put this aside because of the other elements where we really match. But it definately had an impact on our sexlife and even made me think about divorce at many occasions. In general, we have sex about once a month, and for the rest I help myself by watching porn online, chatting in sexchats, … But I have always continued trying to get my wife in the lifestyle, and over those 20 years, I did manage to have some successes. Some things that she believes to be big steps, and which I considered to be small steps but in the right direction. There are signals that make me believe that a lot has to do with social conditioning, but that she has potential. For e.g. we watch porn movies very rarily because she always says she doesn’t need that to become aroused, but when we do watch one together, she gets horny as hell and is willing to do a lot more nasty stuff than normally. Also, during the last 4 years, I did manage to take her with me to a couples only swingerclub, where we just enjoyed the atmosphere and had sex between the two of us. But initially she said she just did that to please me. The last time however, she wanted to buy upfront a sexy fishnet dress, and really enjoyed showing off, kind of an exhibitionist act but still without allowing anyone to touch her. All this makes me believe that she really has the potential to turn into what I want, but that she has a lot of moral barriers. That’s also the way she puts it herself: none of our friends do what I want to do, so i’m not normal. What she does so far is normal sex, blowing but not untill the end, and she starts to enjoy some light anal fingering.

Another thing that impacts her, is that she is somehow overweight and makes a problem out of that herself because she doesn’t find herself sexy. Under medical help and with a lot of self-power, she managed to loose 2 years ago almost 30 kg (very impressive !), but at the moment, she has regained half of that volume and tries desparately to loose it again. But this time, she misses the power to do it.

That’s a bit of our story. About 1 year ago, I discovered the existance of subliminals, and have been trying since then to influence her. But there are not many sexual subliminals, and most of the ones that do exist are either with rain files (so i cannot play them unnoticed) or they have so high pitched noises that they also can be noticed. Some time ago, on an audacity forum, I found some so-called subliminal nyquist scripts and tried to make something with those myself, but without succes. Partially I think for not applying the right procedures in Audacity, and partially for having a bad script and affirmations. Recently i found this place, and based upon your succes stories, I hope to get things moving as of now.

[brownie]

02/26/2014 at 8:55 pm

Now, after becoming a Gold member and reading the material, I have already started experimenting with some stuff. I found a dutch Ivona voice, not the best IMO but it must do for the moment until I find a better one. I tried TextAloud, but to be honest I prefer working with Balabolka, which is a free textreader but I find it much more intuitiv, whilst having almost the same options. e.g. output to a wav file. And then I started translating some of the base files into dutch.

I started with the silent converter (with hypno). Because I got confused over the available subliminal versions from trainer, Eldrin and Qwerty, I made all three versions, extended each of them to 30 min. files (multiple repititions), and put those in a playlist on my computer and my cellphone. The cellphone has now played for 2 nights at my side of the bed, and the computer has been playing these yesterday in the living room.

Yesterday evening, I thought that perhaps it might be a good idea, before starting with some sexually oriented stuff, to give her first something to help her with her weight problem, as this might be interpreted by her subconscious as a proof that the inner voice is trying to help her, and at the same time it will help her with her well-being if she manages to loose weight. So i translated the weight loss script and added some additional affirmations into it which I got from a similar script on another site to make it even more powerful. The big advantage of trainers’ script is the hypno approach, which I continued for the added stuff. This has become a 20 min. file. Apart from that, I made a smaller first dutch version of the His Happiness script (10 min). These two files have looped all day together with the Trainer version of the silent conventer.

That has been my first approach these first three days. What do you feel about this ? What could I do better ? What could be my next steps ?

[gtbear]

02/26/2014 at 9:05 pm

Welcome aboard brownie.

Sounds like you already have a good start in your mission for change in the Mrs. The common wisdom for starting out is to use one of the Converter files for a week or two and then go on from there to lay a base for future files that are more specific. I’ve only been at it for a couple of months but have seen significant positive changes in my girl using trainers unaltered scripts. Good luck to you!

[J66R]

02/26/2014 at 9:53 pm

Welcome Brownie,
I also second what Gtbear said. Having done this now for a year, I have found doing things in stages, patiently is the best approach.

I would think seriously about you wife’s current beliefs and attitudes and where you hope to take her. Then break that up into stages you can focus on in your scripts.

Though swinging is not something I would consider, I understand the attraction for novelty and won’t make any moral judgments. But I would use the same approach with swinging as any other.

Probably how I would go about it is to start out by backing off the swinging suggestion at first. She has demonstrated a willingness to please you by just going there and being intimate there. That may be all you can do right now.

Focus on getting to open up to the “kinky” or “nasty” stuff in the safety of your home environment. Work on the oral (especially allowing you to finish in her mouth and on to swallowing) and anal. Then once it is just standard operating procedure for her to be more wild like that at home, take her back to the places, but don’t pressure her to swap partners. Get her just as used to having sex and doing wild things there and then maybe you can venture out. It may be getting her to allow other to watch. Then allowing another woman to touch or kiss you while she has sex with you. Or allowing another man touch or kiss her while only you have sex with her. Then swap it around and have her help another woman do you. eventually she may then allow another man to do her while you watch or participate.

But it may be that she will never accept having sex with another man but will be enthusiastic about helping another woman get you off. Women can be very jealous, but it can be used. She might decide to see it as a game that stimulates her competitive drives about who can excite you the most.

For example. Before I got married I narrowed all my prospects down to 3 women. They all knew about the other because I told them I was looking for a wife and who ever was the most perfect woman to my ideal was the one I would choose. The, strangely enough, fired them up so that they actually wanted to know what the other ones did and said so they could top it. Some time they even talked on the phone arguing about who would do what for my birthday and how to split of the weekends. It was weird but great. This even went to the intimate acts.

But, beyond my digression into the dim but glorious past, as I said before, that sort of thing is not where I want to take my wife, but if you two are happy and safe about it I will not judge. The key to all the success you read about in these forums is patience. It is going to be a long, sometime rough, learning process for both of you.

good luck

[eldrin81]

02/27/2014 at 12:20 am

If it’s a behavior that seems far fetched by her current standards, always break it down, and think about how she would have to think before she would do that. Trace backward from point B, to point A thinking about landmarks and such to hit along the way. Lay foundation and work on “gateway” behaviors. Qwerty for instance focused on breast play a lot at first, which opened up his wife’s naughty side a little bit, then he funneled that into ever more daring behaviors.

[Qwerty]

02/27/2014 at 2:22 am

Welcome Brownie. I would agree with eldrin, start small. Think of something she has shown that she likes to do but does not do often then work from there a nudge here and a nudge there and soon doors you thought would never open, open all on there own. Good luck and I look forward to reading your journal.

[eldrin81]

02/27/2014 at 3:07 am

The added benefit to the man, is those small doors yield frequent small rewards that keep your patience satisfied.

[seekenq]

02/27/2014 at 4:06 am

Welcome Brownie:

I echo what all the others had said.
Figure out where you want your relationship to be and work backwards from there.
Break it down into smaller “one subject goal”, e.g. Lose weight, oral sex to the end or whatever.
Develop a plan on how to get there using one month “building blocks”
There are no hard rules on how to do it other than go slow and steady and, most important of all, be patient.
This is why J66R said perhaps it is too much to attempt the swinging and the more kinky stuff right away.
As you move forward pay close attention to her for any changes in mood or new behavior or new phrases when speaking.
Be sure to provide her with strong positive reinforcement for any changes “in the right direction”

I suggest reading back through the entire Gold Forum archive.
You will find many good ideas and be able to learn from success and setbacks others have experienced.

Lastly, ask lots of questions and put some of your early scripts up for comment.
I realize this last part is hard because they will be translated into Dutch so It is more work for you.
I think you will get great support here and it will be worth the extra effort.

I wish you great success!

[brownie]

03/09/2014 at 9:18 am

Hi all, I’m now almost two week into this program, and this feels like the right time to tell you about what I’ve been doing since the start and ask you for your feedback, comments and suggestions.

Currently, I have been working on 6 subliminals. These are:
– the converter file with added hypno
– his happiness
– weight loss (based on trainers’ script with some affirmations inserted that I’ve taken from another site)
– I love sex pro
– Wife cocksucker
– I love porn (my first attempt to write a custom script myself; i’m thingking about enriching this file with some lines from the “pornstar” tread in this forum)

All of these files have been made with Trainers’ original instructions and Nyquist script, but I have added echo (according to what Qwerty does) to the sexually orientated ones to make them more powerful. At night , they are playing in a loop on my smartphone (with max volume) which is next to my side of the bed. At this volume, I hear squeeking noises when i put the phone next to my ear. During daytime, they are playing in a loop on my computer (at 3/4 max volume) which is located in the living room so she should hear them some of the time. On these speakers, I don’t hear anything at all. These files have been running now for about 1,5 weeks. Last week only during nights as we were on holiday for some days with friends.

So far, the only domain where I notice a potential impact is the weight loss, because since a couple of days, she has clearly decided that she wants to loose weight and she’s going for it. However, I cannot day with certainty that this is the result of the subliminals. During those days off, we have booked a ski holiday for the easter holidays, and this has been the trigger for her to start loosing weight because she wants to fit into her skiclothes. It’s possible that the subliminal is enforcing her commitment, but this is hard to tell of course. For the other files, I see no changes in her behaviour so far.

The hardest part is in the waiting in my opinion, but I guess that goes for most of you. After almost two weeks, I would like to see first signs that something is taking effect, that she is indeed picking things up from these subliminals, and that I’m not kidding myself.

So, what are your ideas when reading this ? Am I using too many files at the same time ? Should I continue running the converter or swith it to something else, like love honour obay ? Or should I try something else ? Thanks in advance for your reactions.

[Fizbin]

03/09/2014 at 10:20 am

Hi, Brownie.
Three words jump out at me….
Way
Too
Much!
Tis a common trap, on a par with changing things up too often. “Throw it all at the wall and see what sticks.” That’s just too much for one brain to filter through at a time. At most, most folks start to get effects with two unrelated scripts – typically an “attitude” and an “action”. For example, His Happiness, plus either dress code or oral, seemed to be a potent “starter pack” for a number of members.
Otherwise, stick to one theme at a time, even with multiple files. If you’re “rolling your own,” you can sometimes get away with longer scripts by crafting a “train of thought”, but that is fairly advanced technique.

[Qwerty]

03/09/2014 at 2:32 pm

Brownie,
I agree with Fizbin. You have way too much going on. Your overloading her subconscious with too many ideas and with so many foles running you are not getting the repetition you need to see results. Don’t worry, it is a trap most of us fall into, there are so many things that we want to tweeks that we through the all out there hoping for something to stick. Remember this is a marathon not a,Sprint. Try to create a foundation for change and something simple but obvious to change so you can see the subliminals working. We all want to believe they work but until we see a clear change most of us were on the fence as to whether they truly worked or not.

One other problem with so many different choices is that you are giving her brain options to choose from. This will allow her to pick and choose what subliminal thoughts she thinks are important and ignore the rest. Simplify and you will see stronger results quicker.

[seekenq]

03/09/2014 at 4:17 pm

Brownie:

Yes, 6 scripts is WAY too many.
You are overloading her subconscious with too much information.
Fizbin is right you need to slow things way down.
Remember, she has learned her behaviors over her entire life – it will take some time to change them.
Patience, Patience, and more Patience is the mantra around here.
If you can be patent you will see amazing results.

Think of the scripts as a thin string into her subconscious.
If you pull on the script string too hard or too fast it will break and she will not change at all.
If you pull on it slow and steady she will move, slowly at first, then more and more.
Once you get her subconscious moving you can adjust the direction of her progress with gentle steady pulls on the string.

Yes, you can drop the converter since it is only needed at the very beginning.

Congratulations on the progress on weight loss.
Pay close attention to any comments or small changes in her behavior.
Give her a lot of positive reinforcement every time she makes any small change in the right direction.
IMHO, positive reinforcement “in the real world” is just as important as the scripts.

If she is already responding to the weight loss I would definitely keep that script in place.
The weight loss is probably something she already wanted to do.
Hearing her subconscious telling her to do it is probably something she is can accept easily.
Perhaps this is why she heard this one thing out of all 6 scripts.
Once our girls get used to hearing their “subconscious voices” it seems to get easier for them to accept new ideas from scripts.
Because she already wants to do it (and you are seeing some early results) the weight loss script seems to be a natural place to start.

What else to try:

I suggest also keeping His Happiness in your script line up.
In my experience life becomes much nicer overall when your girl actively wants to make you happy.

I suggest you run only these 2 scripts for a few weeks to reset her subconscious from the “overload” of the 6 scripts.
During this time think about what behaviors your perfect girl would have – this is your long term goal.
Once you have a goal you can work backwards to create a plan to achieve your long term goal.

Here are a couple of examples of goals that would require different plans:
A) Enjoy sex with you more often.
– It is probably unlikely that she would be a good cock sucker (WCS) if she did not first like sex.
– It is also unlikely that she would be a great porn star wife if she does not first like sex.
If A is your goal then add I love Sex Pro for at least a month before changing to WCS or porn Star

B) Become a sex slave for you (a slave’s enjoyment is not critical)
– It is probably unlikely that she would be a good cock sucker (WCS) if she was not first completely obedient.
– It is also unlikely that she would be a great porn star wife if was not first completely obedient.
If B is your goal then add LHO for at least a month (or until you have complete obedience).
In all probability this would much longer and require several different scripts to get there.

Even if she did either of these things before: A) She likes sex, or B) was completely obedient, you could be creating big internal conflicts with her subconscious.
Big internal conflict will only lead to big problems later.
Without the proper foundation It is also really unlikely she would do either of these “advanced things” anyway.
It is much better to start with a good solid foundation and build slowly from there.

Lastly, please continue to ask questions here.
You will find lots of support and good advice.
I suggest asking specific quesitons first before taking action.
This will increase your chances or success and help you see progress sooner.

I also suggest posting your custom scripts here for feedback before “taking them live” with your girl.
I realize this means you have to translate them to English and back but I am sure the guys will do their best to help you find the right words in English and Dutch.

[Tap]

03/09/2014 at 6:34 pm

I think 2 scripts max is a good limit to go by. Prioritize what is important to you and go with that. Forget the converter, it’s not needed.

I’d go with His Happiness as a good base file. Then choose the weight loss one or a sex one, whichever you feel is important. Try that for a few weeks to a month, then switch it up once you see results.

[tonguester4_69]

03/09/2014 at 7:00 pm

I agree with everyone else. WAY too much! 2 files is a good rule of thumb, as a MAX. Also the foundation is extremely important. I myself am only using 1 custom file. I have found I get much better traction from focusing on one thing at a time.If you’re patient, you’ll get there, just slow down and enjoy the ride.

[gtbear]

03/09/2014 at 7:20 pm

brownie,

The one thing that has been drilled into my head here is that I needed to start thinking in month long increments and maximum repitition for very limited scripts in very limited numbers. Think, if you could make one permanent adjustment in your girl every month or two… not in days or even weeks, think months, think maximum number of repititions of a limited number of statements for at least 30 days. Having to patiently wait for suggestions to sink in to the girl’s mind sucks…. but that is how you can build the attitudes you want in your girl. Easy does it.

[brownie]

03/10/2014 at 8:06 pm

ok, thanks to all of you for your feedback. In a way, I already knew that I was overdoing it, but I guess that we beginners are all impatient to start seeing results. As suggested, I’ll focus for the time being on the weight loss file, as this one will resonate with something that she wants herself, so it will indeed place the belief in her mind that her inner voice is giving good advice and make her more open for other suggestions. In addition to that one, i will probably use the his happiness file to place a beter foundation. In a couple of weeks, when I see clear progress on her weight loss efforts, I guess I could perhaps replace the weight loss file by a more sex oriented one whilst keeping the HH foundation ?

[eldrin81]

03/10/2014 at 9:44 pm

Ya. I overdid it too when I first started out. I think that it can be detrimental to later efforts because I believe she will become distrusting of the voice.

[brownie]

03/15/2014 at 9:50 am

After your comments from last week, I’ve reduced the scripts to just two, being “his happiness” and the custom made “weight loss” file. This means that she has been listening to these two scripts for three weeks now.

My observations:
– she is very determined in her efforts to lose weight, and has already lost some, but of course this was something that she has already set her mind on when i started playing this file to her; in fact i decided to make this custom file in order to support her in her efforts whilst making her used to the subliminal files. So it’s very difficult to say wether the subliminals are really working here.
– as for the HH file: she has always been trying to be a good wife for me, except for not complying to my sexual demands; so very hard here as well to determine if the subliminals are working.

So, even if i’m perhaps helping my wife by playing these files, what i’m missing for myself is something to observe that these files are indeed being picked up. The only thing that I notice currently is that in the mornings, she says that she’s extremely tired as if she didn’t sleep at al. Which might be the result of her brain being actif whilst listening to the files, but it might also be related to other stuff.

This makes me wonder if I couldn’t start adding some other elements into the mix, but keeping them related to the weight loss files. Like e.g. linking losing weight to the need for more physical activity and training, and linking this to feeling the need for more sex as a workout. I could also link losing weight to feeling more sexy and thus dressing more feminin.

What’s your opinion on this potential next move ?

[tonguester4_69]

03/15/2014 at 3:07 pm

Is this move replacing your current weight loss file? If so, it could be a good move.I actually wrote one similar to what you’re describing, but never really used it.

I want, to be more healthy.
I want, to lose weight.
I want ,to be the woman of _______’s dreams.
I would love, for _____ ,to help me achieve, my perfect weight.
My perfect weight, is ______ pounds.
I would look, really sexy, at ____ pound
I would feel, really sexy, at ____ pounds.
I would be, really sexy, at ____ pounds,
Being sexy, would please _____.
Being sexy, would please God.
I need, to exercise, to lose weight’
What kind, of exercise, would be fun?
Sex, is fun.
Sex, is exercise.
I could have fun, and exercise.
I could have sex, with _____, and lose weight.
I could have sex, with ____, and become much healthier.
That’s, what I’ll do.
Sex, will be my workout.
I will be, intentional, about my workout.
I will fuck, ____, at least three times a week.
I will, make it last a long time.
_____’s passion, will be my motivation.
His cum, will be my treat.
I will,fulfill my purpose, and become healthier, at the same time.
I was born, to fuck, and suck,______ dick
I was, born, to enjoy sex ,with my husband.
I was, born, to be a sexy, slutty wife, for ___.
I was, made, for his pleasure.
my greatest pleasure, is pleasing my husband.
I have always, known this.
From now on, I will strive, to honor, and please, my husband in everything.
This, is God’s will for me, and i WILL do it.

I used several ideas and devices, from others here for this script. Feel free to us all, part , or none as you see fit. If I were to use this I would probably maake some changes , but don’t really see the need for myself.

[brownie]

03/15/2014 at 6:09 pm

Actually, in my mind, I was considering as an additional file next to HH and the weight loss file. But I get your point. Actually, this single one could actually replace both of them, as it contains items from his happiness and weight loss ànd good CS as it contains elements from all of them. The only risk i see is that this one might be too fast, but on the other side, I’ve seen that some of you have had some very good results with the CS file right from the start with a wife absolutely against it. Whilst my wife – when we do have sex – has nothing against sucking my dick, as long as I don’t come in her mouth. I agree that this should clearly show me how soon she responds to the files.

[Tap]

03/16/2014 at 1:21 am

If you want her to take your cum in your mouth, you could write a short script for it. If worded correctly, it should work pretty quickly.