New beginning

[tonguester4_69]

03/29/2014 at 5:13 pm

As I mentioned in my last thread, I have been on a break from any files for almost a week now. The wife and I had a very good heart-to -heart this morning, regarding how I feel, how she feels about our sex life. Before I go into that, let me make it clear, this is the only issue in our relationship, that we have been unable to resolve, and that I am extremely unhappy with.
OK, so the upshot of the conversation was that she has committed herself to intimacy three times a week from now on. We worked out the days to work for our erratic schedules. The submission caveat is that she is responsible to keep to her schedule and commitment, without any prompting from me. I felt this was important, for her to prove to me she’s serious about working on this problem.
If she sticks to her commitment, it will be a huge step forward in our relationship. Her standard MO has always been to avoid as long as possible, without seeming to be unavailable, then give in to keep the peace.This doesn’t require that she be “in the mood”, simply do what she has promised.I plan to wait at least another week before working on any new scripts., but it might not be a bad time to play Trainer’s ” My Schedule”, to remind her of her commitment.
Any new files going forward will be specific to what she feels she needs to improve on, and with her full awareness and cooperation.Any and all progress, will be recorded here.Ultimately, my goal is to have her become complete wanton slut, within the confines of our marriage, eager and ready at all times, but baby steps…..

[Tap]

03/29/2014 at 11:31 pm

Congrats. I have always thought a schedule is good to have, to at least get something consistent. I myself have a similar schedule worked out.

That way, there’s not this business of being rejected as often. We usually space the sex out every other day, but if we are running behind on the quota, we will do it a few days in a row. Also, you might see her starting to like sex more, since you are having it more, and it’s beneficial for both. The tough part will be holding her to that schedule. I’ve been doing it for a year now, so pretty much she honors that schedule well now.

[eldrin81]

03/30/2014 at 12:24 pm

Ultimately, my goal is to have her become complete wanton slut, within the confines of our marriage, eager and ready at all times, but baby steps…..

Ya i think thats everyone’s goal here lol. We just all go about it different.
“Lady on the streets, whore between the sheets” as they say. Funny how women never get such a simple concept to keep their man happy and at home.

[tonguester4_69]

04/03/2014 at 6:00 pm

Short update:

As mentioned , my wife and I hammered out a schedule for intimacy, which she is responsible to make sure happens. We agreed on Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday being the best days for our schedules, since Wednesday is her first day off, we work essentially the same hours on Friday, and Sunday she sees as a very non-stressful day.
Anyway Wednesday morning came, she came in from working overnight, and came to bed asking if I was in the mood. I was a little beat up from my own work schedule, but decided it better to answer positively, in order to try and establish a pattern of behavior.
In short she seems serious about sticking to our agreement so far. I am hopeful that as this becomes a habit, and she sees how helpful it is for our relationship, she will become more enthusiastic about developing our intimacy.

[J66R]

04/07/2014 at 12:58 am

Good for you.
Especially that you went ahead and went through with it even though you were not really fully up to it.
Hope it works out.

[tonguester4_69]

04/07/2014 at 3:35 am

So time for an update.This was the third of our scheduled days. We got up early this morning for church and when we came we both fell asleep for awhile. I had put commercially produced water file to help release her inhibitions on to play while we slept. When she woke up she told me about these sex dreams she was having, essentially about us being interrupted,in the middle of sex.
I didn’t say much at first except that it was probably her mind reacting to the file. Her biggest fears have always been about being “caught in the act”. So it seems she was having an internal struggle with the affirmations to release her inhibitions, and her fears about surrendering control, meaning letting herself get lost in the moment.
She still wanted to stick to her commitment, but after thinking about it, I decided to have a chat with her about how she felt about the agreement.She admitted to being uncomfortable about initiating sex, admitting that she felt it was appropriate for me to be in control.After discussing it for awhile I posed a choice to her-either we could continue as we have this week, or she could willingly give up control completely and for all intents and purposes become my sex slave. I even used the word slave in our discussion. She argued that she couldn’t see why we couldn’t just agree on when where and how, to which I replied, by having a say she was simply maintaining control.I told her she had to choose between being in control completely except as to how often, or completely surrender control to me ( which I believe she secretly desires, she just can’t get past her fears of what that will lead to). I left it at that, telling her she needed to decide and let me know. I also told her our discussion about our sex life could count as her keeping her commitment.
She seem genuinely committed to our schedule, and I felt this was an opportunity to parlay the modest gains of the past week into something greater. Her fears are a large part of what holds her back sexually. If I can get her to willfully go against he fears and surrender control to me, the gains in our relationship could be huge. I can only hope and pray that she makes the choice I want. If not, all I’ve lost is one night of sex. If it pans out, I have gained willing consent to sex on demand. I think it’s a worthwhile exchange. I’ll let you know how it goes from here.

[tonguester4_69]

04/08/2014 at 4:51 pm

I promised to let everyone know how this latest development turned out so here it is.

I asked her the next morning, if she had thought about our conversion. She replied, that that’s all she had thought about at work that night.She is quite aware of the internal struggle she’s having over submission, especially in this area of our marriage. While she is fearful of where it will lead, she has committed herself to working towards completely surrendering control of our sex life to me.I made it perfectly clear to her, that this means a willing compliance to any request, no matter where, when, or how. She was honest enough to admit that she didn’t feel that way now, but believed it was appropriate for her, ad would work toward that goal. This was followed by one of our most intimate sexual encounters, in which I felt she gave herself completely to me.

So now, all that is left is for me to help her overcome her various hangups, and inhibitions.I have a very clear idea, of where I want to go with this. First I want to work on releasing her inhibitions, secondly I want to work on her enjoying swallowing. so is is truly a new beginning, in that, I will be working with her on the things I want for our marriage, not trying to convince her. The files I plan to make for this part of our journey, will be her “homework”, if you will.

[MasterSouthernStar]

04/13/2014 at 4:53 pm

Tonguester;

Great work!!! Reasonable, rational and fair – but dominant. I love it. Especially great is that she has admitted it’s where she thinks she needs to be – but she isn’t yet. That opens the door to possible “exercises” with an eye towards increasing her submission. I was thinking if you come up with a short thing for y’all to do – even if it’s not sexual – that is submissive on her part – and during which she is aware of being submissive – it would get her more comfortable with being submissive. Start small and non sexual and build up to the good stuff – if the idea flies.

This is like “Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde” – the actual novella. When Mr hyde first appears he’s small and not very powerful – easily overcome. The more Mr Hyde is active – the stronger he becomes. It’s simply a matter of overcoming her fears of letting go – by getting her to let go in ways she’s comfortable with first and building to higher levels.

Of course that’s just my idea – and only a suggestion. Just something I thought of.

MSS

[tonguester4_69]

12/20/2014 at 9:53 am

While I have posted in other subjects and other journals, it came to me that I have neglected to keep up my own journal, as a source of encouragement for those just starting out. I suppose the best way to approach this is to take the different hangups I mentioned and report our progress in each.
We have had a lot of things happen in the last few months happen, to get in the way of our schedule, yet she continues to be committed to making sure I am sexually satisfied, even to the point that she brings the subject of intimacy on her own, which is a huge change for her.
Sexually she has been more engaged and vocal during sex. Where she once would insist on keeping as quiet as possible, at my insistence she now has to say, ” Please fuck me Master”, before I enter her. She has increasingly become more and more comfortable with the idea of me being her master and herself being my servant, even saying, “Yes Master” outside of the bedroom. Currently, she is on a trip to visit her parents, and will not be back until New Years Day. So no files for about 10-12 days. I am currently using a mantra file I created based on the Slut Mantra I found on You Tube and modified for my own purposes.Before leaving, she randomly came up to me and said, Thank you”. When I asked what for, she replied, “for being you”.
The latest issue we are working on is her inability to look me in the eye for any extended period. We had a good discussion about why this is a problem, as she realizes she only has this problem with me. She revealed to me on thinking about why it’s a problem, that sometimes it’s because she gets the message of, “your going to do what I say regardless”, but mostly when she looks in my eyes she sees how much I love her, and feels unworthy. My reply was simply that my love for her was not for sale and cannot be earned- that I chose her, she is mine, and that’s all there is to it. This reinforces the concept of her belonging to me, being my property, to do with as I please, trusting that I only want what’s best for her and our marriage. I have informed her that I intend to work very deliberately on this in the New Year.
Past issues that have are much improved:
Wardrobe- She wears pretty much whatever I ask her to, even asking what she should wear if I’m home. She has general guidelines of what is acceptable which she sticks to for the most part, only deviating if I’m not home. As I write this it comes to me that we need to have a talk about her sticking to her guidelines, even when I’m not home, as a simple act of submission and obedience.
Honesty about herself- She is much more open without trying to deflect or defend why she is the way she is. In the past she would try to blame me for the way she is, say she can’t help it, she just can’t change. This has lead to greater insights as to how to train her to be a better wife. In case your wondering, many of our conversations these days are framed in the context of me training her, a concept that she has come to embrace.
Submission- She has come light year in this aspect. Before I began, she carried a basic assumption, that she knew better than I. At this time, she asks my opinion on almost everything, doesn’t spend any money apart from her allowance, without asking first, and generally is anxious to please me. Even as stressed as she is with her mom’s health (the reason for her visit) she was extremely aware of her need to taking care of my needs sexually, giving me a BJ the morning that she left.
Overall, while there’s still more work to be done, I am fairly content with the current course we are on. Future work will include working on lack of inhibition, increased submissive behavior,and her openly addressing and speaking of me as her master in front of, and to others. I believe it is important for her to acknowledge me as master openly, in order for her to burn her bridges to going back to how things were. Will try to keep up on my journal as both a sorce of encouragement for others, an a reminder of how far we’ve come.

[Tap]

12/20/2014 at 11:53 am

It sounds like you have had much success. I’m curious, what subliminals are you using now, Trainer’s or customs? Also, how many do you play at what time, and how many are in your playlist?

[tonguester4_69]

12/20/2014 at 6:15 pm

i’m currently only using one “mantra” file, mostly for maintenance. It’s based on the slut mantra modified for my wife by removing the negatives and a lot of the more degrading aspects. To hear the original file, I based it on, just type slut mantra into google

[Tap]

12/20/2014 at 11:16 pm

Wow, I just searched it and it’s brutal. This isn’t mine by the way it’s what is called the slut mantra:

i was born a stupid cunt

i’m a simple piece of fuckmeat

Unless i’m serving, i am nothing

i am only filled with purpose when i’m filled with cock

i am nothing but three holes and a pair of tits

Only my body is of value, and it does not belong to me

i am only pretty when i’m covered in spit and cum

i want dick in any of my holes at any time

i will not say no

i am a stupid set of fuckholes

i exist solely for the amusement and entertainment of Men

i am a nasty trashy fuckslut

i will expose myself whenever and wherever i am told to

i am a receptacle for jizz

i am a cum dumpster

i want to be bathed and filled with spunk

i want all Men to fill me with cock

i will follow all orders because i am a dumb slut, and i don’t know what’s best for me

i am a cum-drinking whore

my mouth’s main purpose is not talking

my mouth is for sucking dick, licking balls, tonguing assholes, and gargling spit, cum, and piss

i am an aimless set of holes

i am a cumrag designed to be used and disposed of

Please fuck my holes

Thank You for wasting Your time on this dumb slut

…I am not sure how you could make that positive. I would feel bad playing something like that for my wife. I am curious how you made it positive.

[tonguester4_69]

12/20/2014 at 11:48 pm

It took a lot of thought, and editing believe me!I probably edited roughly half of the lines completely out. I posted my version on my topic about making recordings in my voice, along with a link to the recorded version i heard on you tube.

[isteral]

12/21/2014 at 1:59 am

If that was the one from youtube do notice at the end of all that negative garbage she is cumming and moaning, probably frisking herself as she says it. I found the tumbler version when she first started saying it she was rather teary sounding as though humiliated to be saying that about herself.

[tonguester4_69]

12/21/2014 at 11:04 am

I first heard the You Tube version.Looking at my version, I may need to re-edit it .Here’s my current version:

i was created, to serve my husband.
I am a vessel for his cock.
Unless i’m serving, i am nothing
i am filled with purpose, when i’m filled with his cock.
i am a pussy, and a pair of tits, for my husband
my body, does not belong to me
i am pretty, when i’m covered in his cum.
i want his dick, in any of my holes, at any time
I always say,” yes, Sir!”
My purpose, is to serve my husband’s desires.
i exist, for the service, and the pleasure, of my husband.
i am a nasty, trashy, fuck slut, for my husband.
i am available, whenever, and wherever, He wants me.
i am a receptacle for his jizz
i am his cum dumpster
i want to be bathed, and filled, with my husband’ spunk.
i want him to fill me, with his cock
i will follow my husband’s orders, because i am his , and i don’t know what’s best for me
i am his cum-drinking whore
my mouth’s main purpose, is sucking his dick.
my mouth, is for swallowing his cum, and licking his balls
i am designed, by God, for my husband’s pleasure.
Please allow me, to fuck, and suck your cock
Thank You for investing Your time in training me, as your slut wife.

I like it as it reflects a darker side of my personality, that my wife finds very attractive. She knows it’s there, but she also knows I keep a tight rein on it- except in the bedroom. Our best sex has been when I let that dark side out a little. That’s according to her, not me.:oops:

[tonguester4_69]

12/24/2014 at 11:25 pm

I felt it necessary, n the interest of keeping realistic expectations for any new people reading these journals, to let everyone know that the point I am at currently is the result of an extremely long journey. I joined DG close to 3 years ago, and seriously started pursuing using it to improve my marriage about 2 and a half years ago. At the time all I had to work with were Trainer’s files. I don’t even think there was a forum when I started though I could be wrong.
Also I want you to understand two more things from this disclosure. I have been married for almost forty years and with the exception of maybe one other year, my marriage has never been better. The other thing is, I am absolutely committed to seeing my marriage become what I believe God intended it to be, by whatever means available. Failure is not option for me.

With all that stated, it will probably be mid to late January before I have any more updates, as my wife and I will not be together again until New Years Day. So Merry Christmas to Trainer and all the members here, and may we all have a very, very, Happy New Year.:wink:

[tonguester4_69]

01/06/2015 at 8:09 am

It’s a new year and my wife is back from her family visit, so I’ve started her on my revised slut mantra file. It may be a while before I notice anything substantial, just thought I’d let everyone know she’s back on the program. Interestingly enough, the two weeks she was gone has not seemed to have had any signs of deterioration of previous gains, aside from a little bit of smart mouth, which is understandable, since her whole family is like that with each other. That should fade quickly.
Not sure if it’s related to the file, or not but yesterday she mentioned that she’s not working today, in a way that implied she wanted to do something. I have been talking to her, about taking more initiative herself in working on our intimacy, rather than it always be me. Perhaps this is the first step, in her doing this. My goal in this area, is to eventually have her offer herself to me as easily, as if she were asking me if I want a cup of coffee.:wink: