Help with MIL Interference

[hotaceazn]

08/10/2014 at 2:21 pm

My wife is Korean. Her parents have been in this country over 40 years and have chosen not to embrace the culture or the language. Even to this day they expect their kids to jump hoops for them. When I married my wife, about 6 months prior, she was living with her parents, her parents demanded they give them her paycheck and they gave her nothing back in return. She was moving out to an apartment and her father started beating her. I had called the cops, they had arrived, she had no visible marks, but the cops saw something was going on. My FIL said you dont understand, she is my daughter. They told him you dont understand – this is America.

My MIL is a conniving, controlling, shrew of a woman who expects everything for nothing. Her values are money is everything, forget about family, they mean nothing. One example: last week we went to NY to see Les Mis. My mother in law found out and said she was coming, We explained tickets were already bought, and the show was a 4 hour show. She said she would wait outside. I was ok with that, my wife wasn’t so she called her mom back 15 minutes later said we weren’t going cause her cousin decided he didn’t want to go ( was a present for him) but that was a lie. I said what happens when your mom finds out we went? She said we’ll tell her he changed his mind and we didn’t have time to tell her mom.

I am tired of the lies to her mom, I am tired of her mom trying to control us and i am tired of my wife getting all frustrated cause of her mom.

After 16 years I have finally had enough. Today we were getting ready for church and my MIL called saying they were coming for a visit. I told my wife to tell them great – we will see them when we get back from church. Unfortunately, despite the fact my wife has made GREAT strides against her mother, she is still tied in some ways. And since my in laws choose not to speak English, when there is a problem it is my wife that has to hear about it and relay it to me and its not fair that should be occurring at all.

I need suggestions on how to write a script to break the hold my MIL has. I dont want to seperate her from her family, the siblings are cool and even the FIL has mellowed. I just want to break the control MIL has over her. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

[gtbear]

08/10/2014 at 7:56 pm

As I recall, Trainer has an inlaw script in the library… just remember, if you write your own not to get negitive in your scripts wording.

[hotaceazn]

08/10/2014 at 10:14 pm

I looked for something there but didn’t see it. I was thinking of something like this:

My mother makes me weak.
Your mother makes you so weak.
My husband makes me strong.
Your strength is in your husband!
I want to be strong.
You will be strong in your husband.
My mother hurts me.
So much pain!
My husband heals me.
He makes me feel so good!
I want to be healed.
Only your husband heals you!
I only have to obey my husband.
My mother is bad for me.
Your mother is so bad for you.
My husband is good for me.
Your husband is very good for you!
My husband knows what is good for me.
I always defer to my husbands wishes.
Your husband knows what is best.

This is only a quick thing – but something to get started with. And if someone knows where the in-law script is, I would like to look at that as well.

Thanks!

[J66R]

08/10/2014 at 10:36 pm

I’d go over the script one more time before committing to it.

The lines about her mother could cause her subconscious to increase the submissiveness to her mom rather than your objective seems to be to make her realize her mother makes her weak. The most simplistic meaning of that line “My mother makes me weak” (and the others like it) could have unintended consequences.

Though these are quick, try something more like:

I stand up to my mother.
I resist my mother’s influence.

I’d really caution against attempting to evoke negative emotion in association with anything, even things you want her to avoid. Besides the fact that the above lines could be interpreted on a very simplistic level to do exactly the opposite of what you want, using the negative reinforcement is unpredictable.

I tried something similar (trying to evoke a sense of guilt for a really huge past wrong and tried to couple it with a willingness or desire to make up for the wrong) and it was like “nitro”. Two days of script running and I swear I was in mortal fear of my life. Stopped the script and everything was copacetic again. Tried it again, a while later, to make sure that was what was causing it. It was the same, nearly instant (sub 24hrs) results

Ain’t gonna do that again.

Cracking open the negative emotions can be a real Pandora’s box.

[hotaceazn]

08/11/2014 at 12:51 am

That is def not a permanent one – just something i threw together to begin. I will work with the changes you suggested! Thanks J66R!!

[tonguester4_69]

08/11/2014 at 6:08 am

I think the file you’re talking about is called Break up, and is located in the Slave Girl downloads.

[Fizbin]

08/11/2014 at 11:47 am

Yes, the file is Break Up. It is simple, but appears to be quite powerful. (Note: It also has very strong master/slave language.)

A few years ago, we had a member who was using files on herself, trying to improve her relationship with her husband. She reported stopping it (the Break Up file) shortly after beginning because it was making her more distant than her goal really was. (Her thread may be in the archive section…)

[trainer81]

08/11/2014 at 4:58 pm

Right don’t use negative messages in this script it will only bring out the bad things from what you want to prevent. If you say something like, My mother make’s me feel weak, she will feel weak in front of her mother. This is a touchy situation that needs to be handled slowly.

Forgive me for saying this but your in-laws are self centered but yet I do understand where there coming from.

However this is America right and they still think, they live in Korean so their following those customs.

What you need to do here is try making a custom that will make it so your Wife stands up to her Korean parents.

Let’s try something like,

This is a America.
I will stand up to my Mother.
You will stand up to your Mother.
I want to stand up to my Mother.
This is a America.
I live with my Husband now, not my parents.
You live with your Husband who needs you more.
This is a America.
Stand up to your Mother.
My Husband is right about Mother.
You will stand up to your Mother.
My Husband knows what is best for us.

This could be a good starter script for your wife but I’d take this slow so you know what your dealing with. Like one deal might lead to another and if you go to fast it might backfire. Break up is a good program and I like it if I want my slave to cut all ties with her parents.

I had one client who used it to help with his girl’s emotional state. After a few weeks she was happily serving her Master without the thought of her family holding her back.

For you I’d tryout, Confident before making that stand up to your parents script. Confident – Subliminal might be a good program for both of you. https://dreamgirlsgt.com/members-area/?id=133&fid=300&download=Confident-Subliminal-Silents

Good luck,

Trainer81

[hotaceazn]

08/11/2014 at 7:12 pm

First, no need to apologize. I know my mother in law – and she is very much a self centered woman. After she visited yesterday, she called her son who lives in Iowa to complain about us, telling him all kinds of fabrications. After that, my wife told me she is this close to just cutting her out of our lives altogether. I dont necessarily want that – while i wouldn’t mind it, ultimately it is a strain on the family which i do want to avoid. I just want my wife to have the backbone to tell her mom this is the line, I will not let you cross it.
While I know other nationalities do stay segregated, my father came to this country from another country and learned the language, learned the culture, and merged his culture with the American culture so i have a real hard time dealing with folks that cant put the same effort my father did when he came to this country.

Thank you everyone for your input (Fizbin, J66R and of course Trainer!). I had no idea how to write the script because of the domino effect which I do want to avoid. I want to work on the strengths that my wife has which is to stand up to her mother and tell her this is our lives and this is how we will do things. Thank you trainer – this is why we come to you! I looked at the script and thought – wow – thats what I want to say! LOL

I will work with this later today or tomorrow and let you know how things progress – and any more suggestions/advice are always welcomed!!

[Tap]

08/12/2014 at 1:00 am

I’d stick with trainer’s script because it’s not negative. As others have said, when you go negative, bad unintended things can happen.

You might also want to make a very short, 2 to 5 affirmations long, custom for your mother-in-law. Short because you don’t see her often and it needs maximum repetitions during the times you and your wife are with her. However, it is issue if she only speaks Korean. You could make a korean one somehow as I know it’s possible. Something to the affect of letting her daughter have independence and respecting you as the decision maker.

I’ve made super short customs for coworkers and they’ve worked to a certain extent. It could be something you always play when she’s around.

[trainer81]

08/12/2014 at 10:19 pm

Your father sounds like a good man, someone who wants to work hard and willing to learn new things. Your in-laws are missing out on a lot if they avoid such things like learning English.

Okay with the script and start slow having fun with it.

I was thinking if you found a text to speech Korean voice. You could make a subliminal for them.

Best of luck,

Trainer81

[LordIceWing]

08/12/2014 at 10:38 pm

ok… MIL is a pain, obviously…

But… Reality check… How exactly are you going to make… scratch that… How are you going to PLAY a script for her…

Ignoring the whole moral issue of using scripts on folks without their consent (cause, in this case, said person is doing damage to YOUR wife’s mental well being, which is of more moral importance to you, clearly and obviously), how do you get her to listen to it?

You’d have to have it in YOUR house, and they’d have to come over for a significant period of time….

Dude, cut your losses… Let your wife me mad at the MIL and cut the apron strings… Better for your wife, and you, in the long term.

[J66R]

08/12/2014 at 11:13 pm

Oh, where there’s a will there’s a way.

Just one idea:
You could ask what kind of music the MIL likes, or maybe some traditional Korean music or meditation music, whatever. Act like you are trying to make a peace offering and do a custom subliminal and embed it into the CD. Give it to her and if it is something she really likes, and she plays it a lot, maybe there could be changes.

As far as the morality aspect, maybe I’m compromised because I’m here and have seen such good result. But, the MIL’s manipulation is clearly immoral. Attempting to covertly create a less confrontational attitude in the MIL via subs is little different than playing nicey-nicey when she is around to keep the peace. Both are manipulating the situation and hopefully moderating her attitude without hostile confrontation. It’s not like you’re trying to get the MIL to sleep with you with the subs, at least I don’t think you are.

[Tap]

08/13/2014 at 2:16 am

I’d say play it on your phone when you go out with her parents. My phone is actually the main way I play subliminals for my wife or coworkers.

[trainer81]

08/13/2014 at 2:26 am

I never meant to say he should try a subliminal on his Korean in-laws it was just an idea if nothing else works. From my understanding these people are closed minded and live in the past.

The script I typed up is for them not his in-laws.

[hotaceazn]

08/14/2014 at 12:59 am

LordIceWing – the subliminal I am looking for is for my wife to stand up to her mother. I like the idea that if they are in my house, playing one for them, however that is low on my list of priorities! We have plenty of friends who speak Korean and I could ask one of them to read the script then record them and so forth – but I am more interested in my wife standing up to her mom than anything else right now. That being said, I am going to create the subliminal in the morning and get it prepped to run. Thanks everyone for your advise, help and support!

Oh , and J66R regarding the sleeping with the MIL thing – can I saw ew?

[gtbear]

08/14/2014 at 1:32 am

hotaceazn,

I would suggest that before you record that script you post it here for some constructive kneeding.

It may save you a batch of trouble… and could even improve the results.

Good luck!

[J66R]

08/15/2014 at 1:18 pm

@hotaceazn said:

Oh , and J66R regarding the sleeping with the MIL thing – can I saw ew?