Home › Dream Girls Forum From 2016 › Prime Journals › Becoming the Master of my marriage

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  • February 17, 2014 at 5:45 am #0

    xythont
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    02/17/2014 at 5:45 am

    Hello everyone.

    First, some background. Next post starts my record of scripts used:

    We have been married for 8 years now, and sex has been on-again-off-again. I’ve tried many things to improve our sex life and marriage. I won’t bore you with details, but I’ve tried making sure all concerns and stressors were resolved, to no avail. Also, while my wife does have a submissive streak, she buries it deep deep down as she works in a very confrontational, predominantly male workplace. She shields the submissive streak with anger and confrontation.

    Important to note here: My wife does have a chronic ailment. I understand and accept that this merits consideration and that it places limits on what she/we can do. However, the ailment has (may she forgive me if she ever reads this) an excuse to avoid sexual activity. In a really good month we’ll have sex once a week. More often it’s once or twice a month. Note that this is not a hard limit: We were separated due to work assignment, and we had a chance to get together for a week. We had sex every day. Something that hadn’t happened since our very early days. Oral has always been off the table. Recently, however, things have been improving, however slightly: Following the advice of Athol Kay I’ve been working to make myself more attractive and she’s given me some tentative oral attention in the shower, always as a brief prelude to sex. Definitely a step in the right direction.

    Like every man in these forums, I love my woman dearly and want our relationship to strengthen. There have been times when I have contemplated divorce simply to retain my own sanity but I love her too much. I’ve used sleep-based hypnosis (amateur hypnotist here) to help her out with her stress and confidence and to help sand off some rough edges, but I want to do more. And here I am.

    My goals are manifold: I will always seek to make my darling wife happy, healthy, confident, and a success in her career (which worries me regarding the submissiveness files. I want her submissive to me, but a dynamo at work). Along with that, I will be increasing her submissiveness to me, ramping up her sexual desire. Strengthening her desire to pleasure me orally and try new things in bed. Over time, the plan is to take her to a master/slave dynamic. She has already acknowledged that she has submissive tendencies and that I have dominant tendencies, so I’m thinking/hoping that progress will be helped along.


    tonguester4_69
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    02/17/2014 at 6:03 am

    Welcome! There are those here with many of the same concerns revolving around work, but have decided they can work around them. My wife has no problem with the concept of being submissive to me while being in charge at work. I think I can safely say that there are many here to help in achieving your goals.


    xythont
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    02/17/2014 at 6:03 am

    So, having gone over the files, I selected a few to work with. I started off with a silent converter (not the Amy one, since I figured I’d probably use different ones). I loaded it up on my tablet and have been keeping it near her for the last 24 hours. She’s been extra snuggly, but that could well be placebo. As I said, things have already been moving in a positive direction prior to starting this.

    My current plan is to use the converters for 2-4 weeks to get her ready, and then bring in some other scripts. I’ve been devouring the forums mightily so I’m thinking of lots of different possibilities. I was thinking of the Female Ownership series, but it’s a little too invasive for my taste. If (heaven forbid) something were to happen to me, I want her to be strong, capable, and well-balanced. I think of myself more as a curator than an owner: She’s mine but that implies a responsibility to make sure she’s well cared for in any event.

    I’ll probably work up a custom based on the work of qwerty, tap, eldrin, and hota.


    seekenq
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    02/17/2014 at 4:01 pm

    Welcome!

    You have already made a great first step – figuring out your goals for your relationship.
    For example wanting sex more frequently could be a near term goal and ownership a long term goal.

    Using the Converters alone for a week should be plenty.
    I suggest following the converter with “His Happiness” and “I Love Sex” Sledgehammer scripts as good foundations.
    The focus of these two is on making you happy and increasing her desire for sex.
    Run these (or what ever ones you choose) for at least a month before making any changes.

    I would add His Happiness in parallel to the Converter for a week then add I Love Sex.
    Run all three for another week and then you can probably drop the converter.

    Note: She might have some headaches during the first few days.
    This is kind of normal but if they persist do a posting here for suggestions.
    Also pay close attention to her attitude and behavior.
    Give her lot’s of positive reinforcement for any changes in the “right” direction.
    Positive reinforcement “in the real world” is critical to support the scripts and make the ideas stick.

    Over the next month read up on the old posts in the forums to give you ideas on where you want to go.
    Ask plenty of questions here – I think you will find great support from the group.

    Best of Luck and keep us posted on your progress.


    eldrin81
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    02/17/2014 at 4:21 pm

    Seems like many here, your list of priorities is:
    Introduction: Converters are good
    Husband’s Happiness or similiar
    Submissive type scripts.
    Many here have used the above two types of scripts, or themes in their own customs as foundations for everything else they do.
    Take it one step at a time and resist flip flopping or knee jerk reactions.

    Most of the language refers to I am submissive to my husband etc.
    So I wouldn’t worry too much about work. Spring for Gold membership when able to help with this concern as you can word the scripts exactly to get submissivness towards you. However there is a script library that tells you what is in Trainer’s scripts. Review them and see if there is anything that might cause concern for your situation.


    MasterSouthernStar
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    02/17/2014 at 7:24 pm

    xthont;

    Welcome to the community.

    You’ve got a good start in concentrating on the shared knowledge and experience here in the forums. This is probably the most helpful portion of this whole thing. There’s a number of other fellows here in your same boat so I’m sure you’ll bits of interest throughout. All the best with your training!

    MSS


    Tap
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    02/18/2014 at 2:00 am

    I’d suggest making your own customs when you get experience, because personalizing it and wording your affirmations for her specifically will help a lot. That’s especially for making her submissive and obedient to you vs in general because of her work.

    I am submissive to my husband.
    I am obedient to my husband.

    That would be simple and good enough. Of trainer’s files, I’d use “submissive thoughts wife” and “his happiness” sledge as starters. Those are really good basis files. The converter is not needed too long, as in my opinion it’s not even necessary. Maybe a week tops on the converter and then try the ones above.


    eldrin81
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    02/18/2014 at 1:39 pm

    Yes. In addition, you could also have affirmations like this:
    I am submissive only to my husband.


    hotaceazn
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    02/19/2014 at 3:59 am

    Every woman is different – my wife has a submissive streak which she had kept hidden till she read 50 Shades, then it peeked through before being hidden again. I never ran the converters, and discovered she took to the subliminals well. The hardest part for me is getting the wording right and focusing on one thing at a time instead of multiple.


    xythont
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    02/19/2014 at 5:14 am

    Hello everyone and thanks for the outpouring of support!

    I’ve been keeping my eye on the missus and she seems to have been crowding toward my side of the bed (I leave the tablet running the playlist on my nightstand) whenever she’s simply lounging in bed (bedroom is the most comfy room in the house, and her favorite, so it’s easy for me to simply leave my tablet running). I think for starters I’m going to run something like what seekenq suggested, blending what Tap suggested too. I’m going to phase out the converter and phase in His Happiness (Husband), I Love Sex (Husband), then replace the converter with a customized Submissive Thoughts Wife as it opens the door on the Master/slave dynamic. I’ll customize it to have her keep independent capability, and maybe re-word it so it’s uniformly positive. (I’m already Gold, eldrin, and I’ve been scouring the forums for ideas and best practices) We’ll see.

    I must say, the forums and community genuinely are a large part of the true value: The information and support in the community is magnificent. Dead on, MSS.

    Now, on to the update:
    She’s been a lot more agreeable to casual touching, pulling her in for a deep kiss, things like that. However, the one thing that caused my jaw to drop was a case where her temper would ordinarily have exploded (nothing to do with me or our relationship, it was a situational thing). Instead, when I saw she was winding up and I went to soothe her, she calmly and politely asked for some space. I gave it to her and played a game on the tablet (still playing the music). It took her five minutes and and her moving around a bit but she calmed herself down! Then it was back to normal. This is completely out-of-character for her and is an unexpected bonus. I think it’s a gestalt result of the wording in the converter. I would never have imagined her pulling that maneuver and certainly not successfully the first time.

    I praised her lavishly for working with her inner voices and truthfully gushed over how proud I was of her. She didn’t seem to believe it at first, but I think it sunk in. Damn. I now understand the temptation for speeding things up. Thankfully for me, I’m the type of person who, when playing an RPG, level-grinds and completes all the sidequests before continuing the main plot. I think building a strong foundation will only magnify the results, especially since she seems open to suggestion (may have to do with our hypnotic work). Very exciting.


    seekenq
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    02/19/2014 at 7:01 am

    xythont:

    Good work! – sounds like things are going well.
    For me at least the small things that might sound trivial to others are the most amazing part of this whole journey.

    BTW: I have been getting interested in trying some hypnotic work with my wife.
    Is there any advice you could offer or resources to point me to ?


    xythont
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    02/19/2014 at 1:12 pm

    Good question, seekenq. I’ve done lots of studying. I’m including several links in this post and I assure you, none of them are affiliate links.

    First, you’ll want a basis in hypnosis theory and practice. There are a lot of resources, but HMI offers a 14-hour free online class you can take at leisure, complete with PDF text/workbook.

    I’m not generally a fan of Kappasinian hypnosis, but it’s a minor sticking point (it has to do with their outlook and model of the mind). It’s still a very good basis in hypnotic theory.

    There’s also the class at Hypnosisschool.org which offers a certification (if you want it) at the end, also for free:

    An important skillset in modern hypnosis is the use of indirect suggestions. Pioneered by Milton Erickson, indirect suggestions can be amazingly effective as they can bypass the critical factor by leading someone to think/imagine something without actually asking them to “do” anything. The seminal work on the topic is My Voice Will Go With You. A really cool tool for learning indirect suggestion patterns are Salad cards.

    If you wanted to go further, you might look into some books to help out.

    For more scholarly works, you might go with:

  • Richard Bandler’s Guide to Trance-Formations
  • Integrative Hypnosis
  • Any of the self-hypnosis books by Forbes Robbins Blair. These are nifty because you can use them on/for yourself by reading them to yourself and you can also analyze them for how the scripts are put together.

    • Now, for the fun stuff!
    In terms of erotic hypnosis, there’s been a lot of progress in the last few years. Firstly, there’s Hypnopoetics, which is a book of hypnotic/NLP (see below for NLP) love poetry meant to be read to your special someone. There’s two versions: The difference is (basically) the cover. One says what it is, the other has a generic love poetry title and cover so as to be covert. Although largely designed for the pick-up-artist crowd, Athol Kay says (and I agree) that pick-up-artistry can be reverse-engineered to keep a relationship vital and happy. Kindle doesn’t have the covert version, but it does have the main book as well as a companion guide which explains how they work.

    On the more straight-up erotic hypnosis side of things, probably the most classic work out there is Hypnotize Your Lover. This book has a lot of fun ideas and includes instructions on the sleep hypnosis concepts I mentioned earlier.

    Most erotic mind control stories are pure fantasy/science fiction. Some, however, are quite educational. The author Wiseman has over twenty stories at the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive showing plausible uses of hypnosis, both in terms of results and in terms of how it’s done. The stories “Busman’s Holiday” and “Adult Education” in particular were useful in my education, and quite fun. Also, the story Zebu features erotic games using a deck of cards that don’t exist anymore, but you can do the same with the Salad cards above.

    A few months ago, I discovered that the author Wiseguy took his experience and writing and turned it into a how-to manual. Very cool stuff.

    Last but not least we have Pillow Talk. This one is the most outright hypnodom of all of them. You want to be careful before using any of the scripts in here. Everything mentioned in the book is do-able. However, unless the woman is already pre-disposed towards you and/or doesn’t mind D/s dynamics (or at least role-play) you’re going to have a problem. This book was my introduction to erotic hypnosis. I knew that it should have been possible (I’d been studying hypnosis for a while) and there weren’t a lot of books available. This one was. My wife was nervous about hypnosis since she was disquieted by a stage hypnotist at her school. Since she was nervous, I knew that she’d probably resist most suggestions at first, and certainly anything to make her forget the trance session. So, as an experiment I took their intro script (which installs an instant trance induction trigger) and ripped out erotic/dominance content and guided her through that. Sure enough, the amnesia triggers were roundly resisted.

    TL;DR version of the above paragraph: This book is cool for an end-point goal and inspiration, but not something for beginners. Also, many of it’s purposes can be achieved (or reinforced) with subliminals.

    Technical notes:

    NLP is Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It’s talking to the brain in sensory language designed to produce a specific result. It’s a parallel skillset to hypnosis and often used together, but you can have trance without the use of NLP and vice-versa. Like peanut butter and chocolate, best when used together.

    Also: It is possible to induce amnesia in someone who resists amnesia suggestions. It just takes some doing. This is advanced stuff, so if it makes no sense just ignore it or save it for later: If you’ve got a grounding in Ericksonain indirect suggestions, you can craft a story. Then, within that story, you craft another one. And again, within that story you craft another one. Like Inception, you go deeper, three levels minimum. All throughout the storytelling you weave in indirect suggestions related to the big one. When you get to the deepest story, you put in the most important/controversial suggestions (still indirect, and not so controversial that they’ll reject the imagery outright) and then resolve the innermost story. Now that the innermost story is resolved you can resolve the next level up and so on. As you keep resolving the stories it creates a cascade effect which causes the innermost story to be “glossed over” in conscious memory. Obviously for maximum effect you’ll want to do this while she’s in trance. If you really want to make sure it’s buried, you’d use fractionation (while in trance have them simply open and close their eyes every few seconds for a little bit) before and after the story. Fractionation tends to disjoint memory a little bit so that plus the story pattern (technically called a “nested loop”) will get the job done.

    You may ask with my knowledge why was I looking for subliminal info? Well, I came in on a lark and the forums showed a pretty good success rate and good community as well. I haven’t been hypnotizing her very much because we’re both extremely busy (I’m working full time and a full-time post-grad student and my wife works 12-hour shifts 40-minutes away) We do make time for hypnosis (helps her sleep and reduces the severity of her ailment symptoms) but I just don’t have the time/energy to craft a good nested loop and I don’t want to use a bad one.