A NEW Cynic’s Journal (Relaunched/Continued)

[FaustsBoon]

06/06/2013 at 8:34 pm

Well, wouldn’t you know it… I spent, the better part of forty minutes composing this thread relaunch, only to find, at the time, that I couldn’t add posts to these new beta-forums. Thinking I would tuck it away, and copy it back later, I posted the entire thing on the Gold forum. Well, that is gone for the time being too. Oh well, the best laid plans of mice and men, right?

As such, I hope you’ll forgive how that this post and relaunch will now just hit bullet points, and be less narrative than i’d hoped. Time is precious as i’ve got six projects going on almost concurrently, but I still wanted to put this all down for everyone.

– So I relaunched this journal, because of my absence, and because the other thread was getting unwieldy. In essence, my wife and I, due to finances, and then TWO rounds of a bad cold sweeping through our home, and some work related stresses… well, we lost almost a month of good focus. The entire time, subliminals were still being played (His Happiness, Feminine Dress-Code, Submissive Thoughts Wife) nightly, but we were soooo distracted that we simply couldn’t be consistent about being sexual, about reinforcing her submission in the ways I was asking, etc… She was good to me, kind, and concerned about my happiness the entire time, and has maintained items like keeping her pussy shaven for me, which I told her I wanted as a sign of her submission. All in all, it was a good month, but I KNOW it wasn’t an overtly successful one at advancing anything. I couldn’t find time to be reinforcing often enough… It was just a crazy time.

– I have decided to relaunch with a refocused goal. I have found that general submission just isn’t the problem. In general she is submissive, and I feel like using the subliminals just reinforced what was always there. She took right to it, and USUALLY just does what I ask, if asked plainly, and with the expectation that it be done. It really is sexually, that she is less inclined to be deeply submissive. It is there, and readers of my thread/journal know she sometimes REALLY submits. The problem remains consistency, and enthusiasm. We have opened amazing lines of communication, and have increasingly OVERTLY begun talking about our life-life, and my needs/expectations. Intellectually she has been amazing at taking this all in, but still has some resistance when it comes to execution. She still doesn’t know about the subliminals, thinking the files are sleep-aids, and confidence builders for me. That all said… I am now focusing my subliminal usage on a more long-term, focused plan, of her becoming fully sexually submissive.

In a few, unexpectedly candid moments during conversations she has said she could imagine doing the sorts of more… atypical, or bolder, kinks which I appreciate, and has expressed a willingness to do things to make me happy, or at least take baby steps. We are going to continue talking about these things, and I will actively work to reinforce subliminal behaviors, and bedroom consistency.

The following files will be played for at LEAST the next 30 days… In fact I implemented these two days ago…

– Love, Honor Obey Husband
– My Husband is my Master
– Accepting Slavery

I didn’t expressly want accepting slavery, as I feel the language is too extreme, too quickly, but there is nothing that seems a good intermediary step from among the files up for download, and I don’t have confidence in my ability to make a custom (I have said, Fizbin, or any of our vets… I will gladly pay you for your time if you help me whip up a specific custom…)

I’ve also decided to go back to LHO Husband, as it seemed to work better with a submission goal. His Happiness, frankly just seemed to focused on general happiness, and wasn’t as specific as I would like.

Since implementing the files we have had two nice days, in which I was given two nice handjobs…. which could have been more, but my wife is only now getting back to 100% wellness, and I didn’t want to push her while she wasn’t absolutely perfectly fit.

For the sake of argument, lets call this re-launch, and post, Update Day 1, 2, and 3….. of what formerly would have been days 70-72.

I am hopeful that this plan will work, especially with my renewed focus on it. I have spoken to my wife, and she knows we are due for another check-in, conversation, about how we’re progressing, and she knows we have had lapses, and that I want to return to making this something we actively work on.

Before I go… a quick question. My wife knows that one of my fetishes is her being watched performing sex acts, masturbating, whatever… or being caught doing it. I have mentioned that one way I would like to PUSH her submission, is by recording her, and sharing the video with friends on my “male confidence” private forum. She is SLOWLY entertaining the thought, and I feel “pushing” her boundaries bit by bit will also support my end goals.

Would people here be terribly uncomfortable if I uploaded the videos, if they were made, and put links to them here? Would that upset anyone, or terms of service? I just wanted to ask first, out of respect for everyone here.

Also, anyone have thoughts on supporting complete sexual submission? Any files I might consider using? Again… if anyone wanted to help me, as a fellow Gold Member, to actually make a custom I would be grateful as well.

[limited1]

06/06/2013 at 9:11 pm

Great to hear things keep moving in the right direction….

I feel the same way as you about creating customs, I don’t have confidence yet in creating them. I did a few but I don’t think I did them correctly. Trainer’s instructions & videos were not clear cut enough for me I guess to execute them properly. I need to test my newer versions to see if I did them properly or not.

Question for you…..On one of your last goals for submission in one of your later posts in the previous thread, you indicated that you wanted the following:
“I told her she would now be expected to dress more femininely when possible, would be coming to bed nude, would wear sexier undergarments normally, and despite knowing she tends to dislike it, told her I would like her to be clean-shaven, all about.”

Did all of this happen? How quickly did all of this happen? If you don’t mind, paint the picture for us and fill in the details when you have the time…..

[FaustsBoon]

06/06/2013 at 9:47 pm

Hey Limited,

Well, on the point of coming to bed nude. She, in the past, off, and on, would do that of her own volition, but then stopped, almost completely. I started playing that file for her, BUT I think the bigger point, as you saw, was that I told her it was an expectation, and something I wanted. Within a day or two of saying as much (maybe five days into using the subliminal) she began doing it, and hasn’t stopped since, besides nights when she was feeling terribly with her cold.

She also shaved for the first time about two weeks after that comment, and has MOSTLY kept up with it without pushing or reminders, it was right when everything went particularly sideways though, and we started getting sick, etc… so I don’t begrudge her for not being constantly on top of it.

That ALL said, I really don’t think the Feminine Dress Code had time to be a factor. What I do suspect, is that she is going on 70+ days of subliminals, where the one absolute constant was a theme of general submissiveness. Coupled with my assertiveness, and frank talk on subjects like what I need from her to be happy, etc… I think THAT was what really did it. In truth… I suspect not all subliminals here are created equally, in terms of effectiveness. I think they were made at different times, were never updated for parity across pitch/volume, etc… and that some might just be duds. Trainer’s self-hypnosis for instance tells me that there is no rush to improve/fix files that just don’t seem to work in the least.

What I would say, and again, i’m the cynic here, so you have to expect it…. is that LHO Husband seems to work particularly well, whereas i’m not sure His Happiness does. Is there some subtle nuance that happens to work for my wife? Probably as this seems like a very personal process. Who knows?

[limited1]

06/06/2013 at 10:04 pm

FB,

I appreciate you sharing the details as it is helpful to me for when I start to set expectations in my mind for whether I’m making progress or not. I had no idea that she came to bed nude every now and then ( until you mentioned it today)….I think that makes a difference in her submission ( and speed of submitting to your request) as this is not a totally new behavior. However, if shaving clean her pubic area is NEW, then that that is a big milestone in my opinion.

When I switch files in the next few weeks, I already decided I was going to replace HH, to LHO and see what reactions I get. I’m glad to hear that you felt LHO is more successful than HH.

PS- I forgot, I don’t mind the links that you were referring to, but I’m not sure if it will violate the TOS of this website or not. My opinion is, if you want to look at them , you click the link. If you don’t , you don’t click….We are all adults here .

[FaustsBoon]

06/06/2013 at 10:33 pm

Thanks for the thoughts on the links, man. I figured… in some weird way, this place, and many of the folks here would be part of the reason submission like that even exists. As such, I personally think it would be precisely the right venue. But yeah… if it comes to it, i’ll check TOS, and run it by trainer.

For the record (and you might’ve missed this if you didn’t pour over my verbose old journal), my wife did once also shave herself for me when we were dating. She resisting immensely, and hated it, and made clear should wouldn’t again as it was too itchy, etc…. Obviously we see where it ended up though. :-p

If you go through my old journal again, you’ll notice that I do mention genuinely believing my wife is submissive. Little moments of it have peeked out when we were dating, etc… and we experimented a tiny bit. HOWEVER she was also very damaged by abuse at an earlier point in her life, and some of her associations with submission are linked to that in bad ways. It has taken a lot of gentle love and discussion to help her not associate acts, with her old abuser…. and know that she is safe with me, and loved by me.

She was never in a flat-out submission relationship, but like I said… I think it was in her, as well as some kinks that she absolutely BURIED when they became linked to bad experiences/people, and also because her mom is a crazy feminist man-hater, type, who pushed her into a woman’s lib college, and legitimately fucked up her notions of femininity. :-p I am as much a feminist as can be in terms of a woman’s rights, equity etc…. but you know the type i’m talking about when I bring up her mom.

Hell… before she met me, my wife had pierced nipples…. so she isn’t totally foreign to being wild. I just need to bring it back out, show her its safe, and get her comfortable again with leading a sexually daring lifestyle.

Oh, and on one more not…. yeah, its personal taste, but LHO Husband felt much more dramatic/powerful in effect. I really don’t feel like His Happiness enforces much of anything and may in fact be too vague.

[trainer81]

06/06/2013 at 11:08 pm

What you have is trust issues, any girl giving up or handing over such trust has to be earned. Help her to trust you so be won’t have second thoughts about being submissive.

My girl to was abused way back by her parents but it took a lot of trust and we built on that. Now she’s well trained and behaves the way I want her to. I’m firm but fair with a loving heart.

Work on building trust and you’ll do good!

Trainer81

[Tap]

06/07/2013 at 1:50 am

FB and limited,

I’d recommend trying to make a custom. Trainer’s pdfs are pretty straightforward. You can really get your wife to be exactly how you want with the customs. Including your name here and there helps make it very specific so she will think the script is really her thoughts.

If you have any questions on how to make it, I could help and I’m sure others can also. I myself purchased Amy’s voice from that website for $30 or so, so that it’s similar to trainer’s subliminals. However, they have a free voice on the text aloud software that’s adequate enough. That was my main concern. I thought I had to use my own voice, but Amy just reads what I write in my script making it easy. It really just took me 2 hours to make one from scratch after having a script written.

[FaustsBoon]

06/07/2013 at 5:55 pm

Hey Tap1,

I think my worry is that since I can’t “hear” the final product… I’ll always worry I pitched it incorrectly, or did something wrong that I will never be able to detect. As I am cynical… I want to trust is the science/technology of this, as done by professionals, before I feel confident enough to do it on my own. Trust me, I very much want a custom sledge-hammer, and I have paid for Gold…. I just don’t trust myself to make it, nor do I have $100 disposable at the moment to get it done by Trainer. As I said… anyone particularly confident in their ability though… drop me a line, and i’ll be grateful.

@Trainer, It is good to hear from you. Its comforting to know you were in a similar situation, and came through to a happy outcome. I will take your advice, and trust me, I already try to do everything to maintain/earn my wife’s trust. This is just a highly particular kind of trust….

Update Day 4:

Sometimes I feel like the beginnings of things are the hardest part? How do you broach ideas that society has tried to make so taboo? How do you embark, gently, on an idea, when externally you’re fighting against norms that have been shoved down our throats for decades? It occurs to me that the biggest hurdle in getting focused on the specific path I have chosen, it getting over that initial hump.

In all likelihood, these subliminals have, and are working. My wife’s general submission is there, and coupled with conversations and genuinely improved communication, I have her in a place where she, in broad strokes, says things like, “I will support anything you decide, or anything you need…” etc… I know the seeds are all planted…. I know the idea is there, and that it hasn’t been rejected…. but I definitely feel the barrier is where I sit right now…

In this moment… the transition is… How do I go from an occasional instance of sexy submission, to encouraging it as a life-style?

My wife is fending off the last dregs of her cold, which has her JUST sick enough that she can resist, and know I won’t push/fight. She does know that a talk is coming though, and that I have hopes/expectations…. the question now is… how do I frame it for maximum success?

Do I appeal to her rational mind? Point out that she once had a sexual wild side that she has repressed… but no longer has to?

Do I appeal to her desire to make me happy, and simply say I want and need this to become our life, for our long-term happiness?

Like I said… how do I even BEGIN the step of changing something she considers an activity we do in certain very, very specific instances, into the normal way it is? As I said… a life-style.

I am considering appealing to her by creating specific boundaries… Like a mode, a schedule, a something, where she can feel comfortable knowing she is my peers/equal/love, etc… but when she (hypothetically) has the red bracelet on, she becomes completely submissive, and stays in a role. I don’t know….

Mostly… right now I wish I had an ultra potent/successful version of “Accepting Slavery” (though perhaps not worded as such) that could have the quicker impact LHO Husband seemed to.

Likewise, I wish anyone here could chime in who has lived the transition using these subliminals. Specficially if anyone has used things like Accepting Slavery, or My Husband is My Master, could you PLEASE speak to your findings…. and how the subliminals first looked when taking hold?

[Tap]

06/08/2013 at 4:01 am

@FaustsBoon said:

Hey Tap1,

I think my worry is that since I can’t “hear” the final product… I’ll always worry I pitched it incorrectly, or did something wrong that I will never be able to detect. As I am cynical… I want to trust is the science/technology of this, as done by professionals, before I feel confident enough to do it on my own. Trust me, I very much want a custom sledge-hammer, and I have paid for Gold…. I just don’t trust myself to make it, nor do I have $100 disposable at the moment to get it done by Trainer. As I said… anyone particularly confident in their ability though… drop me a line, and i’ll be grateful.

That’s possible. The good thing though about a custom is you know exactly what is being said and how it sounds by listening to the wav file, before you turn it into a silent. As long as you follow trainer’s instructions, the after product should come up with a bit of a squeaking. If you use an amp of -30, the squeaking is louder than if you go with trainer’s recommended amp. If you even go to -20 which is what I remember jason said he tried, then the squeaking is really loud and noticeable. Basically, you’ll know the voice is there talking.

[FaustsBoon]

06/08/2013 at 7:23 pm

(Update for Day 5 will be in a post coming this afternoon… but for now a quick comment)

@Tap Well, I don’t use silents, as my wife has become entirely comfortable with the rain files. I suppose that makes, making my own customs an even trickier proposition. That said, what you wrote in another thread has been really rattling around in my head, about running three files concurrently.

I always figured I was being moderate in keeping it to three files, linked by theme, and in keeping consistency of running those same files for a month+ at a time before making changes. It never really occurred to me that even three might be significantly less effective than one or two.

Most of the now greatest success stories from the old-old forum, seemed to speak of three track lists, and I believe even Fizbin uses three…. But I do now wonder if playing one or two would be even more dramatic.

I think my problem is that i’ve taken to the idea of a sledgehammer (in particular LHO Husband) is a crutch. I am always terrified of a playlist without it, or anything like it, fearing a backslide. That said… it IS taking up a spot in any rotation, that could be who knows how much more successful if it was fewer tracks in number.

I really do wish we had more research… proper banks of evidence… on the topic. I hate being the guinea pig. :-p

Anyway… I will post my update later, as it should be the beginning of what might be a dramatic change in how things unfold with my program. Stay tuned.

[FaustsBoon]

06/08/2013 at 9:38 pm

Update Day 5:

So as promised, here is my Day 5 update…. This only marks the fourth day of listening to the current play-list, so as we might all expect, I am not looking for specific results. If anything, my wife continues to display good, albeit not perfect, general submission though, which is the one continuous thread across all my playlists to date.

I had a thought last night… After a particularly odd day (I will elaborate in a moment…), my wife and I ended in a very positive, loving place, and I felt it might be a good moment to approach intimacy again, after our (mostly sickness related) hiatus of sorts. I asked if she wanted to make love… and she said she was too tired, but would “help me out” if I wanted. She was obviously going to just give me a handjob which is her “go to” get this over with, way, but wasn’t doing it out of anything negative so much as showing genuine tiredness, which was why I was ok with it. I did, in an effort to assert a token amount of dominance, ask her to get nude though, while she did it… She stripped, and as she began, I gently began to touch her, which, VERY ODDLY, she sort of recoiled against. “I just want this to be about you… and to make you happy… don’t worry about me….” I responded telling her that touching her, and even giving her a bit of pleasure WOULD make me happy….

For whatever reason… she lost her crap. :-p I mean… in a true disproportionate reaction, she got really upset… stopped what she was doing to me… and tried to lecture me about not just, “taking no for an answer…” etc… Mind you… there wasn’t anything resembling pressure on my part, and she really didn’t say, “no”… she just sounded like she was being selfless…. Either way, I backed off immediately, held her, asked her if she wanted to talk, etc… and while she calmed down, the reaction was…. to use an in-apt word, crazy.

I couldn’t help but think of the subliminals in that instant. I know, often enough, I have seen anecdotes from posters here, who observe some kind of “lash out” moment, which looks to be against something in the subliminals. This seemed to mirror what was happening. Just an observation really, but there is clearly something going on in her mind, regarding power relationships in the bedroom. During her tirade, she mentioned, “I feel like I can’t ever say, “no” about sex…” which, again, isn’t remotely true, as embarking on this system was partially because her “no” became the sole voice in deciding what was happening EVER in our love-life. It definitely felt like a push-back moment, however. I think it ended well enough though, as I supported her, acknowledged her feelings, and comforted her, but didn’t agree to having done anything wrong.

Now, in retrospect, I should have spoken of the rest of my day sooner…. but I do like non-linear narrative, so here goes….

The REAL story of my day, pertaining to our love-life, my goals for us, etc… Is that, after an absurd situation saw a former colleague slandering me, and just defaming the hell out of me, to make himself sound better in his current business failings, I took a moment, composed myself, and stood up for myself saying that I would not continue having a defeatist, victims, attitude, and let bullies and such get away with treating me poorly. I likewise said that I have endured too much in my life to life a half-life, and not accept myself for all of who I am, etc.. The wife over-heard this, and later told me she was so touched, and so incredibly proud of me… She wanted me to know she would support me always, and asked if there were any changes we could make in our life to help increase my happiness…

I took this as a real moment to be extremely candid, and emboldened by our successes over the last three-ish months, my own professional growth, etc… I decided to explain, for the first time, precisely what my WISH would be for our life.

My wife knows about my various kinks, and we have been actively working on making tiny, small, in-roads to more submissive/dominant play in our lives… That said, I told her plainly about who I am, what I want, etc… and that I want for her to experience being part of Code d’Odelique. That is a fancy term for a school of submission going back to the Ottoman Empire. In short… it is essentially a consensual sex-slave wife, system based on codes, principles, and established boundaries. It is a school build on female empowerment as much as anything else, and strips away notions of humiliation, etc… as well as removing all the pain stuff from dom/sub as most people understand it. It is, in essence the sum total of all my kinks, and I wanted her to know it.

This is also, only the second time EVER she has heard me use the word “slave” and the first since adding Accepting Slavery, and My Husband is My Master, to her playlist of subliminals.

She, since our increasing communication, and since starting this program with general submission subliminals, etc… has always been good about hearing of my desires, no matter how taboo, and making sure I don’t feel judged. Happily this was still the case in this instant. She took in everything I said… and told me nothing amongst that was “new” per se, and that she knew about my more extreme fantasies. She wasn’t horrified, and said she was so glad I shared myself with her and trusted her to not judge, etc… She then asked a couple questions, and happily sat down to read over some tiny introductions to the Code. She said she promises to deeply consider everything, as this is major “lifestyle” altering substance, and that we would talk after she processed it all.

Honestly, I think it went well, and it was certainly devoid of a lot of the places it could have caught hitches. Her concerns about taboos, her extreme feminism, etc… have all had their edges dulled since starting subliminals. I am hoping good things come of this, and that she gives everything real thought.

I mention this all, because AS she is no internalizing, she will, unknowingly, still be on a steady diet of “LHO Husband, Accepting Slavery, and My Husband is My Master”, all night, each night, as rain files…. potentially for months. This IS, my definitive playlist in terms of specific goals I have decided upon. My hope is… her own subconscious and these files, will sway her decisions, or help her come to the place I would like.

We shall see.

[Tap]

06/08/2013 at 10:02 pm

As you said in your previous post, I do think 2 subliminals is the best in terms of having the most potent effect while introducing more subjects than 1. However, I’d feel ok with 3 in a playlist. The effects will just be seen a little later on rather than sooner because it’ll take time for the same amount of repetitions vs if you had only 2 or even 1.

It does sound like with your sex incident that she’s resisting a bit, but it’s good to see that she’s willing to look at that code that you’re talking about and learn about it. It would be interesting to me if you’re able to get her to fully become a sex slave. I’d want to do something similar to my wife, but wouldn’t know how even with the subliminals. I haven’t seen him post in awhile, but maybe masterm can shed some light on how to go about doing it.

[FaustsBoon]

06/08/2013 at 10:37 pm

Well, I tend to dislike the term “slave” as it still holds all the inelegant connotations of every evil thing humans have done throughout history, to others. Consensual Sex Servant sounds a whole lot better, and is something I think more women can appreciate as it is further removed from the notion of a “slave”.

Is it semantics? Mostly… but my wife IS an intellectual, and appealing to her with this fetish, in this way, IS, I don’t doubt, the best way to do it. We’ll see how it goes.

Her push-back was a bit rough. It was definitely tinged with the unspoken, “If we’re going to do this servitude thing… you’re going to need to know my limits inside out… and never push me further”. I have no doubt that is what she was REALLY trying to say, as her words, otherwise didn’t fit the situation. That said, she didn’t reject anything… if anything I think she is trying to reconcile societal norms against her interest in doing this for me… us, whatever.

[FaustsBoon]

06/08/2013 at 10:47 pm

Oh, and as an aside… I don’t know how to introduce these things…. Frankly it took as absurd moment of confidence, active work on our communication, and an understanding that we were already actively discussing ways to augment and adjust our sex life. She knew I wasn’t always utterly content with things, and when framed as, “I want to improve this, like anything else in our relationship, for the sake of a quality, and happy, long life together.”

Also, for what it is worth, I believe framing “slavery” as a romanticised system of mysterious, romantic, sensual ideals going back through several cultures, has a “romance novel” air to it that breaks the idea in a female-mind-centric way. The same reason average women might suddenly flock to a weird cultural phenomenon like 50-Shades, or read goofball crap, suggests to me that they DO have many of the same fetishes/fantasies, etc… that we do, it is simply that our culture shoves down girls/women’s throats the idea that they shouldn’t be allowed to want those things.

[Tap]

06/09/2013 at 7:15 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

Well, I tend to dislike the term “slave” as it still holds all the inelegant connotations of every evil thing humans have done throughout history, to others. Consensual Sex Servant sounds a whole lot better, and is something I think more women can appreciate as it is further removed from the notion of a “slave”.

Is it semantics? Mostly… but my wife IS an intellectual, and appealing to her with this fetish, in this way, IS, I don’t doubt, the best way to do it. We’ll see how it goes.

Being as your wife is intellectual, I can see how you might have success if you decide to do a custom by appealing to her intellectual side. You can add rain to your custom also as it is in the instructions. It’s just an extra step you do on top of the silent.

Off the top of my head, consider the following script specific to how you want her sexually:

I am a consensual sex servant for my husband Faustsboon.
I always say yes to sex when my husband demands sex.
I am happy as a submissive sex servant for my husband Faustsboon.
I love to be dominated by my husband during sex.
I follow all sexual requests of my husband Faustsboon.

That might break down that resistance to some sex requests that you ask of her. Also, with these thoughts in her subconscious, when you talk about it to her consciously about how you want her sexually, she might connect your ideas to what she believes she’s already thinking subconsciously, and should be more inclined to agree with your requests.

[FaustsBoon]

06/10/2013 at 2:27 pm

Update Day 7:

Well… we hit… what I GUESS could be construed as a major set-back, though that doesn’t feel like precisely the right wording.

We sat down and had our conversation, which was long, someone emotional, always candid, and over-all good/positive. She did say she accepts my wants, and can see herself getting there one day, etc…

She did however, also open up, suggesting she is so deeply damaged sexually, that even with our years of healthy love-life, support, respect, etc… That she feels she has never been indepedent as a sexual being, and always learned to be what someone made her. As such, she has asked for to try, for a short while, to back off, and let her take the lead in our love-life, so she can find her own likes, preferences, without pressure.

In essence, while I have been working towards finding my own power, and everything we have been working on has been about dom/sub stuff…. She is asking for me to completely reverse course, and give her space/time to figure her stuff out, before we go forward again.

I KNOW that this is likely 90% genuine, and 10% subliminal push-back…. but I have to go with my heart and let her win this one, because I love her sooooo much, and have no intention of damaging her.

It pisses me off to no end that months of hard work, and slow-progress feel like they can vanish in a random passing wind though. It honestly makes me wonder if the subliminals did anything at all, whereas any real gains came from better communication, etc…

Either way… I’ll bend to her very lovingly expressed experiment. I predict, as she is somewhat lazy, and her defense mechanism of choice is avoidance that rather than do what she said she would (soul search, take initiative, try to figure things out spontaneously in the moment with me, etc…) that this next week+ will elapse without her even implying sex. That is, disappointingly, her worst trait…. She’ll talk a lot of good stuff, and then selfishly never deliver, sticking her nose back into her Facebook page, and dumb cel-phone games.

All that said, she CLAIMS that this is all for her to figure out SO that she can do everything I want, have asked for, etc…. so the lack of outright rejection, and in fact tacit acceptance, is my silver-lining.

Meanwhile, i’ll continue my same play-list, all-night, every night… in the hope that it is doing anything at all.

[Tap]

06/10/2013 at 11:27 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

Either way… I’ll bend to her very lovingly expressed experiment. I predict, as she is somewhat lazy, and her defense mechanism of choice is avoidance that rather than do what she said she would (soul search, take initiative, try to figure things out spontaneously in the moment with me, etc…) that this next week+ will elapse without her even implying sex. That is, disappointingly, her worst trait…. She’ll talk a lot of good stuff, and then selfishly never deliver, sticking her nose back into her Facebook page, and dumb cel-phone games.

All that said, she CLAIMS that this is all for her to figure out SO that she can do everything I want, have asked for, etc…. so the lack of outright rejection, and in fact tacit acceptance, is my silver-lining.

Meanwhile, i’ll continue my same play-list, all-night, every night… in the hope that it is doing anything at all.

That’s a lot like my wife, always on facebook and playing candy crush saga lol. She might be saying stuff just to please you but when it comes down to actively trying to be your sex slave, she’s not that into it. As I said before, masterm can probably shed some light on what to do next since he has had good experience with that.

Perhaps you can try less of talking to her about what you like, and just do things in bed in the moment to make her do what you like. If she does it, then compliment it to reinforce her.

[Fizbin]

06/11/2013 at 12:08 am

I wouldn’t call this a setback, but rather, reminder that you’re dealing with a human being that has decades of beliefs and experiences, and ideas. You’re not doing a simple reboot, clear the memory cache, and install the new programming. EVERYTHING is going to be in the context of that prior life.

You’ve been working on this for just three months now. In that time, you’ve overlaid reminders of her vows to love, honor, and obey her husband, instilled very real and demonstrable submissive behaviors, and reversed her aversion to oral such that, even if she isn’t begging, at least she doesn’t squick-out at the very idea.

Personally, I think it is a bit premature to go in for the hard core master/slave thoughts. If you’re still not comfortable making your own, there are lots of other files that can form progressive steps in your desired direction. Husband’s Authority, for example, or Wife Identity.

Over all, your progress has been fantastic so far. Be patient. Take things slowly. Don’t get greedy!

[FaustsBoon]

06/11/2013 at 12:16 am

@Fiz. I appreciate your saying that, and thank you. It IS an important reminder. That said, part of my frustration is earned, and based on things that do predate this system being in my life. I love my wife, and will do anything for her, but some frustrations are rooted in my having often spent years sacrificing for her well-being, happiness, etc… and knowing it hasn’t always been returned in kind.

I probably am over-doing it, but that is based on simply having reached a place where it occurs to me that I should NOT always be the one bending. I have gone through some extraordinarily challenging… and honestly, damaging, life circumstances, as well…. but she has never gone out of her way in the big sweeping ways I would, and have for her.

Right now, i’m just owning my frustration, and venting a little. I DO know things will be ok, and even great… but in this very instant I have a wife who probably will actively avoid sex completely for a couple weeks, which in some small way, simply makes me feel like those advances I have made, which you mentioned, all go away, and all at once. :-p

[Tap]

06/11/2013 at 12:39 am

@FaustsBoon said:
I DO know things will be ok, and even great… but in this very instant I have a wife who probably will actively avoid sex completely for a couple weeks, which in some small way, simply makes me feel like those advances I have made, which you mentioned, all go away, and all at once. :-p

There was a time my wife was like that and we separated because of that and other reasons. When we got back together, mostly because I agreed to get back, I insisted that our sex life had to improve to about 3 times a week. That is either sex or a handjob or other ways that she could satisfy me. She hates BJs so I haven’t pushed her about that. Anyways, I’ve insisted on this even before I used the subliminals. That was a few years ago and up until now, more or less we’ve maintained that frequency. Even on her periods, she will still satisfy me in other ways.

A part of it probably was because I stopped acting too nice to her and manned up a bit. She’s often said she can live without sex so I know she does it for me. Sometimes, when we do have sex, they’re quickies and she’s not that into it. One of my goals with my custom in particular is to change her whole attitude about sex and to get less resistance when I pushed for sex. So far, it’s been going ok.

One suggestion I have is to just be more dominant toward her. Insist and even demand sometimes. It’s good to be nice and have talks with her about your sex life, but if she doesn’t follow through then I think a more stern attitude is needed. If you want to be dominant or the “dom,” you have to put her in her place when she does something against what you don’t like.

Now maybe that isn’t how other doms would act with their subs as I have no experience with that. To me however, when I act like that to my wife, she falls in line. When she tries to argue about something and I don’t like her attitude, I give it back to her more in a more firm way and she settles down. If a woman challenges you and you back down, she’ll see that she gets what she wants when she challenges you. It reinforces her behavior and she’ll continue to challenge you to get what she wants until you stop that cycle.

[Fizbin]

06/11/2013 at 5:19 am

@FaustsBoon said:
I probably am over-doing it, but that is based on simply having reached a place where it occurs to me that I should NOT always be the one bending. I have gone through some extraordinarily challenging… and honestly, damaging, life circumstances, as well…. but she has never gone out of her way in the big sweeping ways I would, and have for her.

I know you’ve touched on your personal situation before, and while I can’t say that I’ve been in the same place, I do know the feeling of asymmetrical contribution and commitment to a relationship. Unfortunately, that also is human nature. The more you put into a relationship, the harder it is when you feel the other party isn’t doing their fair share.

Here though, you have to be careful about communications and ways of showing affection. (That whole “love language” thing I’ve mentioned in the past.) In her mind, she may be just as convinced as you are that she’s been the main contributor, but because you have each been showing your love in different ways, neither actually sees it fully.

I wish you the best of luck over the next few days.

[Tap]

06/11/2013 at 11:23 pm

FB,
It looks like a lot of your emphasis is on sex and wanting her to be a certain way for sex. I know you’re playing a lot of the slave files, but even if she thinks of herself as a slave eventually, it may not necessarily carryover to your sex life. My suggestion is to play a subliminal that is geared specifically toward sex. I know you don’t want to make your own subliminal, which would be the ideal thing to do. I know trainer is coming out with new sex related subliminals soon so you can possibly try one of those.

[limited1]

06/13/2013 at 3:11 pm

@Fizbin said:
I wouldn’t call this a setback, but rather, reminder that you’re dealing with a human being that has decades of beliefs and experiences, and ideas. You’re not doing a simple reboot, clear the memory cache, and install the new programming. EVERYTHING is going to be in the context of that prior life.

You’ve been working on this for just three months now. In that time, you’ve overlaid reminders of her vows to love, honor, and obey her husband, instilled very real and demonstrable submissive behaviors, and reversed her aversion to oral such that, even if she isn’t begging, at least she doesn’t squick-out at the very idea.

Personally, I think it is a bit premature to go in for the hard core master/slave thoughts. If you’re still not comfortable making your own, there are lots of other files that can form progressive steps in your desired direction. Husband’s Authority, for example, or Wife Identity.

Over all, your progress has been fantastic so far. Be patient. Take things slowly. Don’t get greedy!

FaustsBoon….I echo what Fiz said. You have made great progress thus far ( I wish I was where you are from a progress standpoint ) ! Keep the faith….when you get frustrated, look back at what you have written in your “cynic” journals over the past three months–it’s amazing. Your journals:

1.) review them from the beginning to realize how far you have come on this journey (look at the bigger picture, not just what happened on Day 7)

2.) Your journals will give you inspiration, and fuel……. fuel to be patient , fuel to take baby steps, fuel to be positive about the bigger picture, and fuel to stay the course.

Good luck to you the next few weeks….

[FaustsBoon]

06/14/2013 at 12:20 pm

I appreciate that, guys.

I know you’re right… It has just been a bad, bad, few weeks even entirely removed from love/sex/romance and subliminals.  Life has thrown a LOT our way, and you know how frustrations all bleed into one-another.

Work persists, and play-list persists.  Wife hasn’t even remotely raised the topic of sex, as I feared, but has said she has every intention of figuring things out so BOTH of us can be completely satisfied.  I guess we’ll find out.  I’ll get back to more usual updates soon, especially in light of whatever she wants us to talk about today…

[Tap]

06/14/2013 at 11:33 pm

It sounds like your relationship just hit a role reversal where she’s calling the shots and sex will be done only when she wants to. I don’t get it.

[limited1]

06/17/2013 at 5:04 pm

FaustsBoon said :
I’ll get back to more usual updates soon, especially in light of whatever she wants us to talk about today…

 
 

Did the conversation that she wanted to have turn out OK?

[FaustsBoon]

06/17/2013 at 7:10 pm

The conversation was interesting enough…  The messaging is all very confusing and the situation more-so.  

During the talk she flat-out apologized for the week going unlike she intended.  She claimed she legitimately believed she would take a week or two, and work on being the one who initiates, tries suggesting acts to try, etc… in an effort to get more in touch with the sexual side of herself she never felt comfortable exploring.  She said she hoped this could increase her comfort in general, and would help her to do the more daring things I want, and get our love-life up to a standard I want.  Thing is… she seems to really mean it, and is so genuine… so I let her have it.  Thing is… since, she has still made zero effort, and I have told her I expected as much from her, and that it is frustrating.

The whole thing has resulted in almost complete disinterest from me as well, frankly.  I’ll let it play out a few more days, as she has said we should discuss it again Thursday, on her day off, to see how things have been.  I intend to quitely let her prove my point, and then simply tell her that this is preposterous, and her effort to fix things is simply doing more harm.

Playlist continues uninterrupted… but in light of all of this… i’ll be damned if I find them to be doing much of anything.  Seems anything that ever looked like a result could be instantly undone by a random whim of hers, so…. I don’t know.

[Tap]

06/18/2013 at 12:42 am

@FaustsBoon said:

The conversation was interesting enough…  The messaging is all very confusing and the situation more-so.  

During the talk she flat-out apologized for the week going unlike she intended.  She claimed she legitimately believed she would take a week or two, and work on being the one who initiates, tries suggesting acts to try, etc… in an effort to get more in touch with the sexual side of herself she never felt comfortable exploring.  She said she hoped this could increase her comfort in general, and would help her to do the more daring things I want, and get our love-life up to a standard I want.  Thing is… she seems to really mean it, and is so genuine… so I let her have it.  Thing is… since, she has still made zero effort, and I have told her I expected as much from her, and that it is frustrating.

The whole thing has resulted in almost complete disinterest from me as well, frankly.  I’ll let it play out a few more days, as she has said we should discuss it again Thursday, on her day off, to see how things have been.  I intend to quitely let her prove my point, and then simply tell her that this is preposterous, and her effort to fix things is simply doing more harm.

Playlist continues uninterrupted… but in light of all of this… i’ll be damned if I find them to be doing much of anything.  Seems anything that ever looked like a result could be instantly undone by a random whim of hers, so…. I don’t know.

FB, but she sounds like she’s taken back the power in your relationship. She tells you when she will discuss your sex life which is 3 days from now and you plan to tell her it’s preposterous at that point, but just not now. It also seems like she does a good job resisting the subliminals. My advice would be to don’t back down as much when she tells you stuff.

[FaustsBoon]

06/21/2013 at 9:28 pm

Really nothing to report here which is why I haven’t posted…  Its so surreal.  We have absolutely hit a wall.  I still carry myself with strength and assertion (always making sure to stop short of being harsh, intimidating, etc… which would just associate me with all sorts of the bad things in her history).  Despite that, she has absolutely shut down regarding all my advances, and in fact has managed to wrest away all decision making in our love-life.  She still claims she is doing this FOR me and so that she can get more comfortable with sex, being more open to my kinks, etc…. and yet her actions… are well…. just inaction.  

She continues to listen to the subliminals, uninterrupted, each night.  Same playlist, etc…  Interestingly she has started having sex dreams, and told me about one this morning.  She is, oddly enough, starting to dream about the kinds of things I want, and that she normally wouldn’t have come up with spontaneously.

Its like there is a legitimate internal conflict.  I’m trying to be supportive of her, during this, without being harsh, as I said… but it is very confusing.  I am, however, still positively reinforcing, and told her how wonderful it was that she felt comfortable sharing her naughty dreams with me, etc…

So… in some way…. SOMETHING is still happening…. it just sure as fuck isn’t leading to actual sex.  :-p

I don’t know….  Thoughts?  Just endure/persevere and see where things go while subliminals HOPEFULLY slowly do something that I can witness/encourage?

[Tap]

06/22/2013 at 3:52 pm

If she’s having sex dreams, she’s hearing the subliminals. I think she is having a conflict but her conscious mind seems to be shutting down her subconscious thoughts. She might be afraid to give in to you completely because of her past. In the end though, I think her subconscious will eventually give in as it is stronger in the long run.

[MasterSouthernStar]

06/23/2013 at 6:24 pm

FB;

           Sounds to me like you’re making progress.  It also sounds like you’re beginning the journey from a point much further away from the goal than most of us here though.  But things that come harder and are anticipated longer are more sweet when they do arrive, so keep holding on and working the program.

           Her recent sex dream of your particular preference is a great result.  To be honest, her telling you about it is even more so.  We all know that not everything that crosses our mind gets verbalized, and given that its something with which she has historically had a degree of discomfort, to have mentioned it to you at all is a big deal.  I would make a point of continuing to express how great it was that she opened up to you.  And to me that really sounds like the deal here.  Most modern women are afraid to give over control.  Firstly society programs her to be in control and secondly giving up control requires trust level that very few modern females can attain.  I try hard to be trustworthy every day and I’d recommend it to anyone, but most especially in this situation where trust seems to be an issue.

          Yesterday my girl told me that she admired me and wanted to be as like me as she could.  That’s the kind of thing I think we all need to strive for – and it comes from us individually.  Keep taking the high road and being so supportive and upright that you feel silly about it.  Remember you’re dealing with a female here – if you don’t overdo it , they’ll never believe you.

           We’re with you brother!

[FaustsBoon]

06/23/2013 at 7:37 pm

So… interesting developments (of a sort?) which I felt compelled to share…

Yesterday, after a downright obscenely hard day, with some really tangible challenges to face, I had a real wave of empowerment.  In short, a LOT of shit went down, and I’m uncharacteristically proud of myself as I handled it all like a boss…  In recounting my day to my wife, and still beaming with confidence, she said that she was impressed by me, and wished she could have seen me as the day was going down.  She told me how proud she was, etc…

Part of the conversation was about inequity in my life, and how out of love, and a desire to do “right”, I tend to sacrifice a lot for the people who I love, but that I am sometimes frustrated by how little I feel this is returned to me, in kind, even by those I love most.  She understood, and it raised a good opportunity to tell her how much I love her, and how much I support what she is trying to do, in opening up to her sexuality, and being empowered by that, but that cannot come at the expense of my own strength, needs, etc…  I told her I would continue to ALLOW her to take charge, with the understanding that her feeling ok about “wanting” sex, and asking for it, pursuing it, was something that would make us both happy, but also made sure she knew that I was not going to roll over and let her run the show at the complete expense of what I need… if only from a perspective of comfort and health.  At some point during the conversation… interesting enough, and the reason i’m writing, she said….

“I want to feel empowered in my choices… in my submission.  I want to feel empowered even in submitting…”

Mind you, she and I have been having those conversations, and knowing how incredibly smart she is… I have chosen to frame her submission as something empowering as she can treat it as an exercise in trust, confidence, etc…  She is “choosing” to give up control.  I know how her mind works, and knew this would be a useful in-roads.

That said… it also feels pretty similar to some of the script elements in Trainers “Accepting Slavery” which has been in her playlist for two weeks now, and will continue to be alongside “My Husband is my Master” and “Love Honor Obey, Husband”.

The “compromise” which I told her I would make, in order to allow her to continue her journey to an ultimate end which we’ve both plainly put out there, is one where she says, all I need to do is use our code, “Critical Mass” to let her know a day when I need/expect sexual release… and she would make sure I get it, but would choose when, and how, etc… in order to keep exploring what she likes, wants, etc…  Likewise, she reminded me that she knows the ultimate goal of where we’re going with this (IE a completely submissive/dominant sexual relationship).  I think what was key here is that she is slowly starting to own this “journey” as if it were hers, or her idea.  

Again, “Accepting Slavery” has many reinforcements of, “This is my fantasy…” which might, MIGHT, be bubbling to the surface.

And frankly, I know I can take this at a more peaceful, moderate, supportive, pace…. if I know i’m not fucking going to be stuck sexless, during periods when she’s conflicted, not in the mood, etc…

Now, MasterSouthernStar:  Thanks for that.  I appreciate that you feel i’m going about this the right way.  I sometimes feel like i’ve received advice that fails to understand the goal of a responsible dominant, and instead is a creepy “push harder! demand more! at all times be aggro and intense!”  I genuinely think that being utterly loving and supportive IS the way to reach the female mind.  Likewise, there is no room for confusion…  I can be utterly supportive, while being utterly strong, and she knows that when it comes to the ultimate goal of our sex-life, I will use her for my enjoyment, as I see fit…. but that I will keep her safe, and am responsible for her.

As for starting further back than most…  Eh… I suppose it is a matter of perspective.  Have you read my full, original journal?  In some regards, I have huge obstacles…  My wife was raised by crazy femi-nazi extreme types, who pushed her into an all-girl college, had her spouting every cliche of female empowerment every free second etc…  She had a double dose of society’s over-empowerment… but the disingenuous kind that doesn’t help a woman end up stronger, or more confident/happy, rather just angrier and more mistrustful.  Likewise, her earlier sexual abuses, by someone who essentially had her in a full sub/dom relationship (but very extreme/rough dom), leaves her literally trained to reject anything resembling that.  

HOWEVER… we also have a lot of love, and mutual respect.  Outside of our sex-life, we are really, really, happy, are on the same page, are best friends, etc…  That seems to put me a far bit ahead of a lot of folks here.

Incidentally, her aforementioned sex-dream, was her having “virtual reality sex” with a dominatrix, woman… for what its worth.  Nothing specific which i’ve ever mentioned, but obviously had a sub/dom theme, encouraged experimenting with lesbianism, etc…  

[trainer81]

06/23/2013 at 8:56 pm

@Tap1 said:
If she’s having sex dreams, she’s hearing the subliminals. I think she is having a conflict but her conscious mind seems to be shutting down her subconscious thoughts. She might be afraid to give in to you completely because of her past. In the end though, I think her subconscious will eventually give in as it is stronger in the long run.

Yes and a good way to get her their quicker is by helping her face those fears depending on what they are.  Go slow with your girl and gain her trust and she’ll start giving into you little by little.

Go slow that’s what girls like 😉

[limited1]

06/26/2013 at 5:21 pm

FB…I agree with you about be supportive,loving and positive.They’re not robots, but real people that we have to form (so to speak). From my perspective I can and always want to be able to look in the mirror, know that I treated her well, had OUR (our marriage) best interests in mind as we go down this road to improving our relationship, her trust, her thoughts, her attitude, her behavior, and our enjoyment of each other and our marriage, with these scripts. That’s not to say I can’t / won’t be firm and draw a line in the sand from time to time, but I always try to go about it in a positive mannner.  My motto is is slow, steady and keep positive…..stay the course you have been on, and keep the feedback coming. 

[FaustsBoon]

06/28/2013 at 3:51 pm

Well the slow slog of patience continues…  My wife has been quick to offer handjobs when I have been particularly stressed, and ask… but has yet to initiate anything since we last spoke.  She and I have been getting up at 4:30am due to mutually annoying work-schedules, however, and tend to be pretty exhausted by day’s end.

All in all, i’m just laying back, and am letting the subliminals HOPEFULLY do their work.  In the past I have let tracks sit in the playlist for 30 days, before shifting them around… but I am wondering if I just have a particularly dense/stubborn wife, and thus need to sit back, and let things work over a longer haul.

I am having some stress and frustration again, seeing individuals progressing while my own progress either ground to a halt, and/or even back-peddled some versus the first few weeks using subliminals when I seemed to have shockingly quick results myself.

Having just glanced at the Gold Section, I discovered that at some point Trainer FINALLY put up the Sledge-hammer “I Love Sex” which was previously the underlying part of the Self-Hypnosis file which bombed so gloriously, in my home.  :-p  That said…  the script sounds perfectly suited to what I wanted/needed.

“Accepting Slavery” seemed a bit TOO big of a leap for my wife.  It is a file I intend to use one day, or rebuild using my own script, but it also is a bit of a “zero-to-sixty” in terms of personality, etc…  I suspect that my wife, submissive in the bedroom, and much more inclined to have sex altogether, would be a much, much superior jumping off point for that future ambition.  Likewise, as “compromise” goes, I could similarly be much happier to plan out, wait out, etc… long term goals, if my current relationship at least had an improved baseline of sexuality in general.

What do you guys think about this…  ?  Maybe the three-track-playlist, etc… is too much.  My wife’s general submission, concern for my happiness, etc… is strong, and LHO Husband, has, I believe, improved that even moreso over the last three months.  Where we are, feels largely “complete” with our sex-life legitimately being the area where she out-right needs the most work….

What if, I ran a playlist of ONE track… namely the new “I love sex”?  It would be played, essentially three times more often than any file I have ever used (as it would be one track, looped).  Its script, does also have a subtle undertone of submission, as it mentions “I get pleasure from my husband’s sexual pleasure”  and “I am a sex-toy for my husband.”  It really does seem like a good “interim” track, and I wonder if the focus on one, and only one simple, short, direct, script… might be powerful.  Plus, i’m fairly sure it is a sledgehammer, right?

[FaustsBoon]

06/28/2013 at 11:09 pm

Edit to above:  Well, I just placed an order for a custom with Trainer.  I’m REALLY hoping, once and for all, that this one perfect file is exactly what I want/need, and thus something I can run as a single-file, looped.  I have seen individuals have greater success with customs, and I am hoping it is the case for me.  I literally parted with the last $60 I have disposable for the month (IE not for bills, etc…) for this, and just desperately hope it is the key to this all finally clicking.

[Tap]

06/28/2013 at 11:32 pm

FB, I think if you just played the custom that trainer makes for you and just loop that, it will have more effect than playing the 3 files. Your main concern is mostly the sex part, so I agree that a file focused on that which includes ideas of being submissive would be the best way to go for now.

[FaustsBoon]

06/28/2013 at 11:41 pm

Well, you saw the script I posted in Gold right?  I’m sure it’ll get some revising, but that is largely what i’m going for.  I think it seems pretty balanced between the two themes, right?

[Tap]

06/28/2013 at 11:47 pm

Yes, I just commented on that thread again. It might be good to group the themes better either putting the sex stuff first and then the submissive stuff or vice versa. That way it’s like 2 mini subliminals in one that just gets looped, and it will be easier for her subconscious to follow.

[FaustsBoon]

06/29/2013 at 3:45 pm

Well, Trainer and I are hard at work, and are definitely tightening up the flow of the script, and are making sure things are organized well, while still having all of the specific elements I want to hit.

Its hard.  I so very much want ONE master track to play that hits all these notes so I don’t need to mess with playlists, worrying about specific changes every few weeks etc…  That said, having one PERFECT track is also incredibly hard to script, in a way that all the themes mesh and don’t feel like fruit-salad (a mess of random, mostly unrelated things).

Ultimately the script we’re working on is one of complete sexual submission.  I still worry that the goal of that, versus where we are now is just TOO far apart, though, and worry that I need an intermediate step.  Sadly, right now I can only afford the one custom, and have to hope this long-term goal, even slowly, trip feeds into her subconscious, and begins making changes.

[MasterSouthernStar]

06/29/2013 at 6:23 pm

Fausts;

               Don’t worry about being too big a jump.  Remember that this is meant to be repeated over and over – and not take hold overnight.  I say put in the script what you want and play it.  She probably won’t change 100% immediately, but given enough time she’ll get there.  Heck Stalagmites are formed by dripping water – just water – over time.  If rock can be generated, you can sure get your girl to come around to your way of thinking.  Never can tell – might work better than you expected too.

               I’m really looking forward to following this and seeing your result.

MSS

[tonguester4_69]

06/29/2013 at 6:49 pm

I agree with MSS. Don’t worry about it being too far apart from where she’s at now. My wife when I started 1 1/2- 2 yrs ago was miles from where I wanted her to be, but over time she has come so far! Rome was not built in a day.

[limited1]

06/29/2013 at 10:38 pm

@FaustsBoon said:
Well, Trainer and I are hard at work, and are definitely tightening up the flow of the script, and are making sure things are organized well, while still having all of the specific elements I want to hit.

 

Its hard.  I so very much want ONE master track to play that hits all these notes so I don’t need to mess with playlists, worrying about specific changes every few weeks etc…  That said, having one PERFECT track is also incredibly hard to script, in a way that all the themes mesh and don’t feel like fruit-salad (a mess of random, mostly unrelated things).

 

Ultimately the script we’re working on is one of complete sexual submission.  I still worry that the goal of that, versus where we are now is just TOO far apart, though, and worry that I need an intermediate step.  Sadly, right now I can only afford the one custom, and have to hope this long-term goal, even slowly, trip feeds into her subconscious, and begins making changes.

 

You’ll get there, keep the faith……When you have the final script, if you don’t mind please post in Gold Forum .

[FaustsBoon]

06/30/2013 at 3:56 pm

Ok, so the current revision of the script is up in Gold Forum if anyone wants to see it and comment while we’re still perfecting it…  Any insights are of course appreciated.

Meanwhile, i’m trying to really perfect this script, but also, i’m trying to perfect my plan for delivering it. 

I think my problem is figuring out EXACTLY how to reinforce/push for progress.  I mean, I am inclined to want to wait for ANY small sign that she is responding to the file, and then reinforce that…  Does that seem the “correct” usage of a great file?  I worry that in the past I have been the one to initiate a change in behavior, and while she has run with it for a bit… it hasn’t stuck because it isn’t her “idea”?

Any thoughts on this matter would be so wonderful, as i’m thinking of this being my last, perfect, attempt at making the files and system work.  I will happily be patient, and let it as a process takes months, or even years… BUT I need any advice on the “loop” of seeing changes, reinforcement, etc….  Do I try to test for changes in a month or two, even if I haven’t seen any?  Do I wait, watch closely and then reinforce the changes she herself has exhibited?

Help?  

[MasterSouthernStar]

06/30/2013 at 7:17 pm

FaustsBoom;

            My – completely uneducated – thought is that if you get a positive result, enjoy it and wait to see if more follow.  Don’t change anything as long as you get progress.  These recordings are to steer along the road – once you see that one is working to steer down the right road – I wouldn’t change anything until I see that progress has stopped.  If it worked to get one good result it will get more.  That’s my thought anyway.

            And yes reinforcement is a great thing and one great way to cement behavior.  I’m thinking  that if the lady is unaware that she is doing something that she consciously disagreed with previously she may have a conditioned response to discontinue that behavior if it’s pointed out to her.  I think reinforcement is still a good thing – but maybe in that case you could use more generic reinforcement.  For instance if she’s let’s say being more submissive, instead of saying “I like that you’ve been following my direction more frequently”  you might say something like, “I appreciate the effort you’ve made recently to reduce the stress level in the house.  You seem to be much more relaxed and I love to see how happy that makes you.  Thank you.”  That’s not the perfect example but you see what I’m getting at.  Don’t actually mention the behavior if it’s going to be a bone of contention for her – with herself.  Let the behavior become ingrained before actually mentioning it.

          Again – I don’t know nothing – I’m just sayin…..

          I could be wrong.  It happened once before:D

[FaustsBoon]

06/30/2013 at 7:30 pm

Thanks MSS.  For what it is worth, that really mirrors my own thoughts, which makes me feel like between us, we’re either both very wrong, or happen to have the same logic in assuming what would work.  I think it will be how I proceed.

My frustration is just born out of REALLY hating where we’ve somehow ended up right now.  Its not that we aren’t have enough of the kind of sex I like…. its that after months of slow progress… we’re not having ANY sex….  Its awful, and while she’ll always give me a hj if I ask… its that or have a literal non-sex-life right now….    And mind you, two months ago I was getting 3 blowjobs a week, and was seeing her slowly being more sexually submissive.

And her only explaination when we talk is that, she is doing it “for me” as she explores what makes her happy sexually…. which is apparently, not having it.

[FaustsBoon]

07/07/2013 at 9:00 pm

Just dropping by to mention the tiniest bit of progress, and mention my hope for the future, near and far…

“I Love Sex” might FINALLY have the very beginnings of an effect.  Since playing it and only it, for about twelve days, my wife seems to be flirting more, and is much more willing to let me make exceptionally sexual comments without rolling her eyes, and calling upon the “I thought you were going to let me try taking charge” clause.

In fact, I have outright, albeit joking told her repeatedly that if she isn’t going to assert herself sexually, I would.  😉

So we’ll see.  It seems like the balance of power is rolling back to center, and her interest in sex seems to be increasing a tiny, tiny, bit… if I can read her sudden joking/flirting correctly.

Also, my final custom script should be in the works any minute as i’ve sent the final script to Trainer.

It is, in essence, a highly personalized version of “I love sex”, with added elements of her feeling safe and loved when she submits to me, and how she wants sex constantly, as sex with me likewise makes her feel wanted and safe.

It is a dense, but meticulously worded script which in essence contains encouragment for her submission/recognition of her submission and enjoying her submission, an enjoyment in being dominated, and feeling safe and loved when being dominated, wanted and thinking about sex constantly, and also specifically wanting to perform oral sex on me as often as possible.

It seems like a lot, but Gold members can read it in Gold forum, and realize its actually highly/tightly interwoven, with proper repetition and every concept/theme linking to and informing the others.  I’m really proud of it, at least from a writing POV.

So lets see what happens?  Maybe this, with patience, time, and good luck, is finally the relaunch of this journal, and my marriage, that i’ve been hoping for!

[tonguester4_69]

07/08/2013 at 2:37 am

Good luck man!

[FaustsBoon]

07/08/2013 at 7:19 pm

Not a lot of a progress to report… technically none, if progress = advancement… but we’ve had yet another day of flirting, and better received innuendos, etc…   I vaguely implied wanting/expecting sex, and it didn’t go anywhere, but again, flirting beats the shit out of awkward apathy/avoidance, which was the story of the last two months.

I am hoping that this, burgeoning interest, or at least non-avoidance of sex as a topic/theme, is the result of immersion with “I love sex” subliminal.  I’ve, since yesterday, made sure the file was not only playing all night, as is our usual process, but am making sure it is playing in some form (rain or silent), during every moment of the day while my wife is home.  So this is true immersion, meaning, even if somehow sleep-listening isn’t profoundly beneficial (which is might be… who knows, sans research), she is at least getting a fair number of day-time, waking repetitions too, now.

I’m eagerly, eagerly awaiting my custom file.  Now that i’ve really locked down my script, and think its perfect, I just need Trainer to have the time to produce it.  Then it will go into serious use.  As I said, the file is essentially a highly personalized “I love sex”, but turned up to eleven.  If i’ve written it well, and Trainer (no doubt) produces it as a sledgehammer well, then in theory, I should have a really perfect file for my circumstances, aspirations, etc…  Fingers crossed.  

Of course i’m going to second guess myself at time…  “I love sex” is a super short, super simple script, whereas mine has more complex ideas or wording, and is longer.  It isn’t too elaborate, or specific I hope, but of course i’ll be spending some time hoping that I did a good job in the writing of it.

[Tap]

07/09/2013 at 12:48 am

I think it’s a good thing you are using silents and rain. The silents in the day would be best so she doesn’t know it’s on. If she hears rain all the time, she might start thinking something’s up and will question why you want the rain on all the time. As you said, with the addition of silents, you can really go for the total immersion.

[FaustsBoon]

07/09/2013 at 2:11 pm

Well she knows I have “relaxation” rain files, and “confidence boosting” rain files (which I do… but that isn’t my point).  As such, she is actually fine with me even playing rain-files all day, if I choose.

I mostly use the subliminals OVER other things.  If we’re watching Netflix, or playing a game, I have the silents on, as the rain-files would seem weird played over something you’re actively listening to.

But yes… either way, i’ve returned to full immersion.  When she’s home, a rain or silent file is playing… period.

Update:

So I still don’t have material success to report… but the “tone” continues to move in the right direction.  Flirting continues, and even this morning, despite her not feeling 100% due to a stomach cramp…. when I asked her if she’s noticed anything different about me (as i’ve made a conscious effort to be more positive and supportive every day), she said she has seen me happier.  When I asked, “Anything else”, she, of her own volition said, “You seem more positive, more confident, more intimate…. sexier”.

That one caught me off guard.  I at least appreciate that something is happening again, and I HAVE learned my lesson, and learned from my mistakes.  This time around, I am going at a snail’s pace, and any successes will be nurtured carefully before I try to advance anything.  

Trainer has put my custom into production, and I am looking forward to using it.  While it seems like “I love sex” is beginning to work, I know my custom mirrors its messages and themes, but also has the personal touches.  I am hoping it can be as successful as “I love sex” is an incredibly concise, efficient, and simple script, which might be why it seems so powerful.  Hopefully nothing is lost when I transition to my script which is a bit wordier, and more complex.

For those interested, the now final, final, FINAL, draft of that script is posted in Gold.

[FaustsBoon]

07/09/2013 at 7:31 pm

Just a small comment I made elsewhere, but wanted to include here, for posterity…

Re-reading my old journal, and this journal was humbling.  I was, even while well meaning, very arrogant, and impatient despite my efforts to the contrary.  I had to have this program flop for me to realize what needed to change, how long it might take to fix, etc…  I aim to make things very different this time.

I am essentially re-booting for real, in this very moment.  I am seeing the first signs of something stirring in my wife again, and will embark on my custom file as soon as Trainer gets it finished.  From there… it is my vow that I will be consistent, will take baby steps, and let the changes happen as they will.  

I WILL make this work.  It matters that much to me, and to my marriage.  🙂

[trainer81]

07/11/2013 at 3:43 pm

Keep on being consistent with a long range plan and I am confident that you will reap the rewards.  I laugh at the “snails pace” as we are trying to undo in a few weeks that has taken decades to develop.  It sounds like you have a good foundation now.  I have read your script and I am pretty confident that you will be happy with the results.

[FaustsBoon]

07/11/2013 at 3:47 pm

@1discreetman said:
Keep on being consistent with a long range plan and I am confident that you will reap the rewards.  I laugh at the “snails pace” as we are trying to undo in a few weeks that has taken decades to develop.  It sounds like you have a good foundation now.  I have read your script and I am pretty confident that you will be happy with the results.

Well it all feels contextually “snail paced” for me, because a few months ago, we were at least still having regular sex.  This complete death of our sex-life is relatively new, and nothing in our lives changed to prompt it….  :-p

That said, I appreciate the kind words, and I am hopeful the custom will be perfect.  I will be patient, and use it alone for months until I can hopefully see something happening.  If I truely follow best practices, am patient, and give it a long window of time, and it doesn’t work… only then can I honestly dismiss this tool as something that might help us.

As for right now, we’re on Day 16 of “I love sex” being in constant repetition.  Flirting is still somewhat present, as is affection… but nothing sexual to report.  We’re about to hit two months without sex…. yeesh.

[trainer81]

07/11/2013 at 4:12 pm

I feel your pain.  Honestly, I think at some points we have gone 45 days or better in the past.  This is from our early years of marriage where we average daily sex, no wonder 3 kids in 3 years.

However, I will say with my wife over the last month we are now up to averaging twice or more a week.  I thought the fireworks from the 4th were for me celebrating the return to normalcy.

Just remember we all have setback in virtually every part of our life. It is how we address them and make correction that make us who we are.  I think we all wish it was as simple as snap our finger and she would go to her knees.  But really where is the fun in that.

Try initiating something.  Even something as corny as delivered red roses at work. Take out food from her favorite restaurant and candle light meal at home.

[Tap]

07/11/2013 at 9:32 pm

@FaustsBoon said:
Well it all feels contextually “snail paced” for me, because a few months ago, we were at least still having regular sex.  This complete death of our sex-life is relatively new, and nothing in our lives changed to prompt it….  :-p

That said, I appreciate the kind words, and I am hopeful the custom will be perfect.  I will be patient, and use it alone for months until I can hopefully see something happening.  If I truely follow best practices, am patient, and give it a long window of time, and it doesn’t work… only then can I honestly dismiss this tool as something that might help us.

As for right now, we’re on Day 16 of “I love sex” being in constant repetition.  Flirting is still somewhat present, as is affection… but nothing sexual to report.  We’re about to hit two months without sex…. yeesh.

So if 2 months of no sex is new, something must have happened. I could think of 2 things that could possibly have happened. She found out you were playing these type of subliminals by looking at your computer history or something, and so is now stonewalling you.

Another idea could be that all the talking to her about your sex life, how you want her to be like this or that, etc, all that you wrote here in your journal scared her after she thought about it. It scared her so much, she basically put a stop to it and now is more comfortable that sex is on her terms, meaning 0.

If the above is true, you can possibly proceed with less talking about how you want her to be and just go with it. I only talked to my wife once 3 months ago how I want her to be more submissive. She’s just developed into that and I give her compliments when I like what she’s doing. With sex, I didn’t say anything about sex. I just go with it generally as long as I’m getting my 2 to 3 times a week. I already know if I talked to her about that or the sex part more, she would just stonewall me and not want to hear it. A part of it is even if the subliminals are working by her actions, when it’s spoken about straight to her face, you might get strong enough resistance that alerts the conscious something’s not right. It’s better to leave certain things unsaid. Having said that, if I were you, I’d just tell her you need this much sex to be content in your marriage and to basically call it a marriage, without getting into the details of what you will do sexually.

[FaustsBoon]

07/13/2013 at 1:26 pm

Well Tap, it definitely wasn’t the first.  My wife tends to stay far away from computers… they’re definitely not her thing.  However you’re probably right on the second point.  Like I said, I got greedy when subliminals suddenly seemed to work impossibly well.  I pushed too many bold ideas, too soon, and know her resistance was profound.  Luckily, i’ve learned valuable lessons, paid for my mistakes, and things are moving, slowly, in the right direction again.

So, the wife and I had some amazing sex in the last 24hrs, and both came away very satisfied.  She seemed… different in some ways too… maybe more into it?  I believe, “I love sex” may finally be having some effect.  It is progress, a relief, and something I will be sure to slowly, let develop.  Right now i’m just glad we’re working back towards neutral.  When we’re having sex 2 or 3 times a week again, i’ll know we’re back to normal, and can worry about building from there.

Whatever the case… I am optimistic.  Likewise, Trainer just delivered my custom, so I believe i’m going to shift to that.  It feels scary, just as “ILS” is showing signs of working, to switch to a totally new/unproven file, but if we did our job right, it should build on the exact same themes, feelings, and idea… just in a more personal way.  Lets see, right?

[Tap]

07/13/2013 at 3:42 pm

I think ILS is finally working. Your personal custom is more specific and will probably be more effective. Either way, you can always switch back to ILS if you don’t see results. That’s the beauty of having so many choices in subliminals.

[FaustsBoon]

07/13/2013 at 5:10 pm

@Tap1 said:
I think ILS is finally working. Your personal custom is more specific and will probably be more effective. Either way, you can always switch back to ILS if you don’t see results. That’s the beauty of having so many choices in subliminals.

True, but we know switching too frequently can be even more damaging to the process on the whole.  I’d like to not do it more than once every month.  In this case i’ll make the exception as i’m switching to what was really intended to be my long-term program.  I will say, “ILS” really does look like its having an effect.  Knowing her, lines line “I am a sexual being” could have been very empowering, and probably helped to open her up to it.  Obviously one sexual encounter after this weird long break is progress, but on its own its too singular an event to get a feel for how “ILS” would have worked going forward… Would the lines like, “I am my husband’s sex toy” have eventually worked?  Who knows.

So i’ve got the custom, silent and rain files, queued up on all of our devices, and will begin this afternoon.

I very much hope you’re right, Tap, in that it will work.  The file runs 17 minutes, which is considerably longer than most files.  It is a single track play-list though, so it should get loads of repetitions.

Hopefully today is the start of something special.  If “ILS” is any indication, I imagine it’ll be a couple weeks before I see ANYTHING… so now it is just time to take a breath, stay the course, and be patient.  

[FaustsBoon]

07/15/2013 at 4:05 pm

Nothing to really update, but checking in more as a data-point.

We’re on Day 3 of the custom being the sole track in rotation.  I don’t expect anything this soon, obviously, and am making a mental note to not even read into anything I perceive as a “new behavior” for at least two weeks.  It took that long before “ILS” even BEGAN to manifest, and for the moment, that one is my bench-mark for the idea of what an incredibly short, focused, script in heavy, heavy looped rotation, can do.  I will always, incidentally, be curious as to what it would have led to… but will leave that experiment for another individual to try.

I do believe in my custom script, in broad strokes, and as it was produced by Trainer, I am as confident as I can be that it is correctly made.  If anything is going to work, given time, adherence to the process, patience, etc… it will be that.

I had a private conversation with a user here who shared some insights, and raised the concern that the “…. all the time” lines in my script, could be troublesome and lead to my wife being incapable of functioning in a normal capacity.  It is likely the titular cynic in me…. but I just can’t fathom subliminals working THAT well.  Still, to allay concerns, I would not let that happen, as I love her, and if I saw something beginning to change to THAT extent, I would make note of it, and change stuff up immediately.  If anything, I went for intense, “immersive” sounding language, only as a way of perhaps accelerating the changes I am hoping to see… not because I believe they can be that all encompassing.  As far as I know, none of us here have seen a partner COMPLETELY transform there way of thinking in such an all-inclusion, debilitating way.

[FaustsBoon]

07/15/2013 at 9:14 pm

A tiny addition to the above.  My wife had a random headache yesterday and today.  While she is a headache sufferer, they tend to be prompted by her cycle (which it is not even close to time for, as of yet), or by extreme stress (which hasn’t been the case, as everything has been particularly good as of late all around).

I mention this only because it seems somewhat typical that headaches align with the mind “hearing” a new subliminal.  These headaches obviously also happen to align with starting the custom.

Just an observation.  I hope some behavior, a couple weeks out, implies the correlation.  

[Tap]

07/15/2013 at 10:33 pm

I don’t think “all the time” should be a problem. I’ve believe I might have that line in my custom, have been playing it for a month now, and haven’t see any issues. If the custom works that well, it’s possible, but I doubt it would work that well. I like to think of the subliminals as her new thoughts. Even though she thinks of herself wanting sex all the time, it’s not like she’s going to be having sex all the time because she knows that isn’t proper.

[FaustsBoon]

07/15/2013 at 11:40 pm

Precisely my thought… subliminals, as I understand them, and have seen them thus far, are a subtle bending of impulses, etc… not 80’s style, cartoon-y brain-washing magic.  :-p  If they were that powerful, we would all be done, with our perfect wives, by now.  

I’ll keep an eye on it… and hell, I make enough money that if by some impossible fluke, it worked… I might let things play out.  Odds are much greater though, that i’ll barely see the dial move.  I’ve yet to see subliminals make for massive transformations… hell, even with years of using them, i’m not sure you can really end up with a “dream girl”, so much as take some small rough edges out of a relationship.  Just my guesses though… who knows.

[FaustsBoon]

07/16/2013 at 5:34 pm

A minor update… but an interesting one.

My wife had, what seemed to be, a crazy amount of sex-centric dreams last night.  She was moaning up a storm, and grinding against my leg hard enough that i’m pretty confident she thought/was dreaming that she was having sex.  A wet knee, seemed to confirm my suspicions.  :-p

I always ask her if she had pleasant dreams, when we wake up.  She said she remembered having dreams about True Blood, and cheese-cake.  :-p  That must’ve been some cheese-cake.

Either she doesn’t recall her nocturnal fun, or I am absolutely wrong, but I am confident that it is the former.

I don’t know if there is a take away, per se…. but i’d like to think it is the tiniest of signs that my “always aroused, always wanting sex” custom, might be doing something?  

[Qwerty]

07/16/2013 at 6:10 pm

Congrats on the break through. Seems as if you custom script is just what you needed. For me it took about 2 weeks of my wife have sexual dreams before they broke through to reality so be patient. Now it just a matter of time till the conscious mind accepts what her unconscious mind already has.

[FaustsBoon]

07/16/2013 at 7:11 pm

@Qwerty said:
Congrats on the break through. Seems as if you custom script is just what you needed. For me it took about 2 weeks of my wife have sexual dreams before they broke through to reality so be patient. Now it just a matter of time till the conscious mind accepts what her unconscious mind already has.

Interesting!  You know, I didn’t realize sexual dreams were part of what you saw unfolding.  Can you go into greater detail?  It may sound naive… but how did you know they were sexual dreams, in your/her case?  Likewise, what was the moment, those couple weeks in, where something broke into reality, that struck you as clearly outside her normal libido, etc?

I’m using elements of your script (and/or…. ahem… the script)… and find it fascinating that even the first signs seem to be similar.

[FaustsBoon]

07/24/2013 at 1:30 pm

Another non-update, unfortunately, though it is still within the margin of “that is to be expected”.

We’re ten days into the custom file now, and it continues to see heavy, heavy rotation.  In either silent or rain form it tends to be running constantly when my wife is home.  We sleep with the rain file, so that is eight hours of exposure right there, and more often than not a silent is running as we eat, watch tv, etc… frequently the rain version will even be on as she is doing crafting/hobby stuff, or browsing Facebook.

Needless to say, I haven’t observed anything yet.  What has “stuck” even from prior to the custom, seems to be that she has finally moved off from her “I need to be in control… Let me try this for myself” thing… which, as expected went nowhere when I entertained the thought.  It didn’t empower her, it just cemented the non-physical-intimacy that she was already leaning into.

This is definitely a tense time, for me.  Obviously, outwardly, I just need to be as positive as I can, stay smiling, etc…  because her subconscious needs to tell her this is her idea.  That is rough on me, as i’m a proactive type.  My inclination is to ask, to test her responses, etc…  but I know doing so would compromise the efforts here.  As such, i’m just going about things, day to day, and am hoping something manifests soon.

Again, i’m not looking to reach an end-goal… but a token something that is clearly right out of my script, would go a long, long way, to bolstering my spirits, and helping me stay motivated.

As it stands, we’re still mostly sexless, barring one encounter right before switching from “I love sex” to this custom.  Hopefully that area sees some progress, as it is the one place where our marriage is just abyssmal.  I love my wife so much, but she really seems clueless (even when I thoughtfully explain myself), as to how difficult it is for me, as a sexual person, being essentially shoved away from my life-partner, and the only woman I want to be with.

Qwerty… man… if you’re around… those questions I have stand.  How did your file first start peeking through into life?  How did it go from her having sex dreams, to actually giving a damn during waking hours.

[Qwerty]

07/24/2013 at 4:10 pm

Faust,
The first signs for me were the dreams. The first waking sign was the non verbal cues she did not even realize she was giving off. Sitting close to me, absently touching me, catching her looking at me when she thought I was not looking. Most of the cues that is was starting to break through were non verbal. She would say one thing but het body would say another. The major cue for me was catching her biting her lip when she was catching a sideways look at me. This told me she was thinking about sex with me not just find my company more appealing.

The hardest thing is to find something for her new thoughts about you to form around. The best way I can describe it like that experiment with salt water and a string. You wife is becoming a super saturated solution but unless you add something for her to attach these new feelings and thoughts too, that is as far as things will go. The trick will be finding the trigger. It could be something as simple as you returning her absent touches with a smile, it could be a romantic dinner, it could be challenging her authority so that she see you as the master. It is hard to say what that trigger, in fact you are probably the only person who even has a clue.

All I can say is look for the subconscious cues she is giving off and incourage them with a smile, a touch, a laugh and the catalyst will soon make its self known to you.

[FaustsBoon]

07/25/2013 at 12:25 pm

Just posting this to vent some frustration…

I HATE that right now, i’m walking on egg-shells, in a sense, and feel like I need to have a plush, delicate environment for my wife, so that the subliminals can take hold, and so that I can respond to any signs they might be working.

My wife and I had a fight yesterday, and she genuinely deserved to be verbally torn into.  She was being selfish, inconsiderate, and it was the kind of situation where my every impulse was to set her straight, out yell her, and tell her her crap needed to stop (since she was acting like a spoiled brat, as she tends to)…

… instead, I gave her the cold shoulder, and just removed myself from the situation, after calmly speaking my piece.  It wasn’t satisfying… and it won’t accomplish much.  She did say she would think about ways to fix things…. and it took every fiber of my being to not tell her i’ve heard that shit countless times, and that her thinking about things never translates into much if anything…

… and all the while, all I could think was that I need to treat her with kid gloves, and try to maintain the happy, loving, encouraging, positive environment she’ll need for this damn process to do anything.

Inevitably this means she’s going to come home from work tonight, and i’ll just have to pretend nothing is wrong, while biting my tongue, and hoping these subliminals give me a fraction of the success some have had.

[Qwerty]

07/25/2013 at 3:57 pm

Faust,
It sounds like you did the right thing. If I remember you script right you have some “master” statements in it. As such you are in control. You have authority. It is not that her opinions and concerns do not matter, in fact a good master always considers them, it is just that once you have made a decision the argument is over. Also by keeping your cool you showed her again that you are in control of the situation, and with her lack of control within the situation you also have subtlety shown that you have authority over her.

You have exibitted classic alpha responses and she has exibitted classic beta responses. She is trying to bait you you have put her in her place quickly and without a drawn out effort. Good job.

[FaustsBoon]

07/25/2013 at 7:00 pm

@Qwerty said:
Faust,
It sounds like you did the right thing. If I remember you script right you have some “master” statements in it. As such you are in control. You have authority. It is not that her opinions and concerns do not matter, in fact a good master always considers them, it is just that once you have made a decision the argument is over. Also by keeping your cool you showed her again that you are in control of the situation, and with her lack of control within the situation you also have subtlety shown that you have authority over her.

You have exibitted classic alpha responses and she has exibitted classic beta responses. She is trying to bait you you have put her in her place quickly and without a drawn out effort. Good job.

Well don’t give me too much credit.  I don’t feel like I came across terribly alpha so much as resigned to how awkward things are, seemingly at random.  I did tell her I was disappointed with her way of talking a lot, but actually doing very little, and likewise made sure she knew I feel I sacrifice way too much (and do it happily), whereas it is only OK when she, as my partner does the same for me.  

As I said, for her, me raising, even in a thoughtful, positive manner, something like wanting to improve out love-life, or reconnecting to more of the passion we had a mere three years ago… is met with her weird defense mechanism of subtly, SOMEHOW making it about her.  I don’t choose to think she’s crafty and malicious (I genuinely don’t see that in her), but somehow me expressing any disappointment, frustration, etc… and wanting, for the right reasons to communicate about it, and work through it for both our long-term good… is reversed and turned into something about her that makes me feel greedy for even bringing anything up.

So yeah… I don’t know.  The subliminal is hopefully working in the background somewhere…  There aren’t “master” statements, as my custom ended up being about sex, her comfort in it, her wanting it much more, and then her submission to me in sexual things.  

[Tap]

07/26/2013 at 12:32 am

My suggestion is to include some submissive and obedient statements in it. I feel like my custom has really molded my wife into obeying me, being submissive to me, pleasing me, and making me happy. Then I pile it on with the sex stuff. I think it’s a combination of these ideas that can turn her into something like a slave, in which she must follow your sexual wishes.

Right now, while I think the sex file is good, you’re losing her on the submissive part. If I remember before, you used to play His Happiness and submissive thoughts wife, which pushed into her the idea of giving into your happiness and doing what you want. I also think that’s when she was giving you BJs and your sex was a decent amount. You might try making a new custom with the submissive part added OR adding His happiness or submissive thoughts back in, in a 2 file rotation with your sex file.

[Fizbin]

07/26/2013 at 1:48 am

Keeping calm is good. Walking on eggshells, not so much. You absolutely need to express what you want from her, and to call her out if she tries to twist it around. The term for what she is doing is “passive-aggressive”, and it is at least a manipulative, if not an outright abusive, behavior.

[Fizbin]

07/26/2013 at 1:51 am

@Tap, don’t forget, he didn’t produce the custom file himself. It was recorded for him by Trainer after they worked together on the script.

[Tap]

07/26/2013 at 3:21 am

RIght so the best thing would be to add a submissive file in the mix, in my opinion. Granted she’ll have sex on her mind, but if she has an attitude and is passive aggressive as Fiz is saying, it might stop her from having sex.

[FaustsBoon]

07/26/2013 at 12:19 pm

Thanks for the insights guys.  She is indeed pretty passive-aggressive.  I know she bottles things up and it trickles through the cracks.  We had a smallish fight yesterday as well continuing from the one prior, but it was at least a bit constructive.  

She was claiming that all her stress is getting to her, all her responsibilities have her feeling weighed down, and that she ends up wanting everyone to leave her alone, and that of course puts sex far into the background of her thoughts…

That is all well and good, and would sound totally valid, if I didn’t know my wife.  :-p  Her “stress” is self created.  She’s usually treated like a queen, and has very few responsibilities that DON’T revolve around her.  She doesn’t clean nearly enough to use it as an excuse, barely cooks, etc…  And the thing is, i’m OK with that.  I like cooking, for example, so it isn’t a big deal.  Problem is, she LOVES making excuses, and genuinely believes them too.  She’s a spoiled brat who suddenly has a normal life, meaning she has to worry about things outside herself, so it freaks her out.  Meanwhile she wants us to build a new home, wants children down the road, etc… but if she can’t manage her current stresses, FORGET about what that would be like.

So, I didn’t fight, but I didn’t back down.  I called her out on it, told her that I see the excuses she makes, the little white lies she tells, etc… and that its disappointing, and hurting us.

Anyway, long story shorter… we ended up agreeing that there is work to do, and she says she will really try harder.  I made her repeat it a bunch, and she knows I don’t take her at her word right now, and that she has to earn that back with deeds, not just talk.

Again, who knows what all this ends up doing?  The custom file is still constantly playing, and is hopefully doing something internally.

And yes, i’m not currently able to make my own customs, and as such i’m beholding to Trainer’s custom.  I do think there is merit/wisdom in adding back “Submissive Thoughts Wife” which I did like very much.  I’m nervous though…  Do I give my custom, running by itself, time to settle in before I add something else to my play-list?  Am I ruining anything by going, essentially back up to three tracks?  (My custom is about 50% longer than most of Trainer’s files, and adding STW essentially puts me back at three tracks which I worried was too much).  On the flipside, maybe STW would actually augment my custom.

I’ll give it some thought.

[Fizbin]

07/26/2013 at 1:10 pm

Looking at your final script. I do think that STW would be an excellent supplemental file. I don’t think the two are too long to put together. But you should also try to address her worries about “external” factors. Show yourself to be in control of some of the external factors, whether they be the budget, or planning time and activities. Tell her you will take on the worries, so she can focus her energy on other, more pleasant things. I still think “Husband’s Authority” and/or “Wife Identity” can be useful supplements in that area as well.

[FaustsBoon]

07/26/2013 at 2:40 pm

@Fizbin said:
Looking at your final script. I do think that STW would be an excellent supplemental file. I don’t think the two are too long to put together. But you should also try to address her worries about “external” factors. Show yourself to be in control of some of the external factors, whether they be the budget, or planning time and activities. Tell her you will take on the worries, so she can focus her energy on other, more pleasant things. I still think “Husband’s Authority” and/or “Wife Identity” can be useful supplements in that area as well.

I did precisely that, Fiz.  I told her I would gladly take on more, and I already do much of that.  She believes, or so she says, that it makes her feel guilty to not do those things, and to take more time for herself (which, as i’ve said, if she used the two hours a day+ she wastes on Facebook for anything else she would like, she would do just fine).

Either way, I don’t know how substantive her promises are… but she did seem to leave the conversation in a good place, and has been hugging/cuddling up to me constantly since.  She knew I was angry, and angry at her.  Thing is, I NEVER get angry.  I might get quiet, introspective, etc… but I have to go far before I get outright angry, and she knows it.  She might not be equipped to say it, but I believe she was trying to accept responsibility somewhat.

So, if the thinking is that Submissive Thoughts Wife, might be an effective compliment… how do I go about adding it in?  Just… throw it into the playlist?  Should I wait, and see what unfolds with the custom somewhat first?  Wait out at least a month?  I mean, I could go add it right now if the consensus is that it would be a wise choice/addition.

[FaustsBoon]

07/26/2013 at 3:26 pm

Oh, and I would like “Husband’s Authority” to fit the need you’re mentioning, but 90% of the script is written with future-tense statements, which has me a little unsure about it.  I think Submissive Thoughts Wife should fit the need just as well.  It isn’t a perfect script, but does do a lot of what I would need it to.  I think part of the challenge is that there are SOOOO many directions to approach changes from… despite my efforts and care, there really isn’t a one-size-fits-all script, in my opinion.  A selected theme needs to be enforced and reinforced, meaning wildly diverse scripts won’t be as effective… but as diminishing returns seems to make playing more than a couple scripts a poor choice, it means making a lot of concessions, etc… at any given time.

I still do want my focus right now being largely sex-centric as it is the area of most need of fixing.  Everything else tends to work pretty well.  I might finese some changes in other realms as well, but i’d like to get the a base-line “ok” in all areas first.

So, for now Custom continues, and i’ll likely add back STW in the next couple days.  I hate breaking my rule about changing playlists often though, and feel like i’ll need to reset the clock, so to speak, regarding how long I should reasonably expect before seeing any changes from subliminals.

[Fizbin]

07/27/2013 at 12:06 am

For now, I’m less concerned about future tense than getting the ideas in there at all, even as “goals”.

P.S. Yes, just adding to the playlist is fine. If you have two places to play things, you might even consider playing the custom in the bedroom and the “stock” file(s) in the living room.

[Tap]

07/27/2013 at 12:17 am

I’d say 2 weeks of playing your custom, something positive should have happened already. Adding STW would be a positive, as something in her mind is stopping her from having sex despite being flooded with all the sex thoughts.

From an objective point of view, it looks like the roles are reversed somewhat in your marriage. From what you’ve posted, it seems like you do most of the cooking and cleaning perhaps, while working from home. She just works and goes home and looks at facebook, while not doing much of anything else. It would appear at least that she takes the more alpha role in this situation. Now this is no way intended to be as a negative to you. However, it’s probably why she also feels entitled to do what she wants sexually which is no sex.

A few years ago, my wife and I both worked. She was too lazy to cook and clean. I didn’t cook but i did clean often to pick up her slack. Back then, I didn’t have much sex with her either. I would say the power was about even but maybe I gave into her too much. If you read my journal, that’s totally reversed now. I don’t clean or cook while she does, and we have sex when I say. I took back that power.

I’d say you have to put more submissive themes in her head and STW is a good start.

[FaustsBoon]

07/28/2013 at 1:14 pm

Update:  So, yesterday was interesting.  I noticed my wife being flirty again.  If you’ll recall, when “I Love Sex” was first manifesting something it was also her, after being cold for months, suddenly being extra affectionate and a little more inclined to make innuendos, etc…  

We had a really nice day out, did some stuff together, and in addition to her being very sweet, she was also very open about sharing feelings, etc…  I praised her for that, thanked her for trusting me and sharing, and generally we both kept it really positive.

At the end of the day I knew she was exhausted, but also had come to bed nude (and had erect nipples, plus was being extra cuddly) I suggested we make love to cap off a perfect day, and despite saying how exhausted she was, the minute I said again that it would be a lot to me, and that we deserved to enjoy one another, she, wordlessly, agreed.  At first it seemed like she might be phoning it in, or was doing it for me, but needless to say, after a while we were both extremely into it.

It was great… pretty vanilla, and didn’t have too many direct links to my affirmations in the custom, BUT it was sex… which we, again, hadn’t had for two weeks.  I don’t know if the subliminal is just kicking in, but at least it seems roughly like i’m back to where I was when I dropped the ILS track, and switched to my custom.  Hopefully, from here, it is outright progress.

Fact is… I say nothing in my script specifically emerged, but 50% of my script is her general arousal and wanting much more sex… and we did have it…. so… progress?  :-p

[Fizbin]

07/28/2013 at 1:45 pm

Congratulations! Given where you were earlier in the week, this definitely counts as improvement. As I’ve noted, it seems to me there is more success in defining “attitudes” than specific “actions”, and even there the best results come from attitudinal affirmations like “I enjoy X” or “I love doing Z” rather than task-based “I do Y”.

Another trend I’ve noticed, though this hasn’t been mentioned much since moving to the new forums… In addition to the headaches, there is sometimes a “threshold” backlash, where there is a redoubling of expressing the classic behavior just before the new one takes hold. So, don’t give up. Stay consistent, and look for success!

[Qwerty]

07/28/2013 at 3:15 pm

Congrats Faustboon. Sounds like there might be progress. As Fizbin said sometimes there is an intensifying of the bad habits just before the subliminal breaks through. Keep it up and good luck.

[Tap]

07/28/2013 at 6:38 pm

Looks like a positive, congrats. Fiz, I’d have to say that I’ve had decent success with the specific as well as attitudinal affirmations. I think adding in both is a good recipe for success. Qwerty, I pmed you a couple of days ago, just letting you know about how you made your customs. I figured it wasn’t something trainer would want discussed on the general forums.

[FaustsBoon]

07/29/2013 at 12:25 pm

Thanks all.  I’m kind of hoping for the best, and definitely saw it as progress of a sort.  Considering the two days prior were fights, going from fighting to a wonderful day out and making love, seemed like a dramatic improvement.

Fiz, I definitely recall that double-down factor, but had forgotten it until you said it.  What is funny though, is that you’ve read my script…  Wouldn’t a doubling down of the opposite behavior to the script have been not wanting any sex, versus wanting it?  My custom is probably 75% arousal, about feeling good/safe/comfortable during sex, etc… with only a little bit of submission.  I feel like it would be strange for the submission stuff to be the bit that set off a mental reversal alarm…  but again, who can be sure?  I do know, that old forum archive was invaluable for getting insights (though also occasionally a reason the believe in placebo effects in some cases).

I really am hoping this is the proper “start” of us getting back to good, and the subliminals being a major part of that.  I didn’t approach her about sex yesterday because I have vowed to not push my luck this time, and not rush, at the smallest signs of progress.  I genuinely may have been the reason I “broke” my initial successes, and in fact set us back in massive ways.  This time is a controlled, measured response to signs of progress, and an effort to savor every little success.

I will say, that the higher tolerance to innuendo, flirting seems to be sticking around, which hopefully is a non-sexual way to see that something is taking hold.  

Also of note… we know a couple with an EXTREMELY daring, sex life…  for whatever reason, despite saying only a day or so earlier that she thought the woman’s behavior made her feel uncomfortable, and despite saying it felt somehow anti-feminist that this woman would do certain things (i’ll just say it… this woman and her husband likes gangbangs, glory-holes…. genuinely extreme behaviors), my wife was curious how that couple’s weekend went, as she knew they were doing those kinds of things Saturday night.  Point is… she is thinking about sex, even if it isn’t hers… and that is a part of my custom.  Hopefully i’m reading that correctly.

Not much else to report… I’ll just exhale a tiny bit, and enjoy the moment.  Obviously i’ll post more as anything, good or ill, develops.

Oh, and Fiz…  your insights are definitely appreciated (as is your support, Tap, Qwerty, et al).  I think there is something to be said for attitudes being more pliable, and wanting to change first.  Behaviors are tricky.  In the most primitive, base, way, we do physical habits for upwards of a month+ even if we’re conscious of them, and intend to stop.  As such, I imagine it is just as hard to link and idea to a behavior.  I imagine the trickiest one, in some Pavlovian sense, is the first time.  If my wife is in mood X, and knows it should trigger behavior Y, she has yet to get the praise, positive response, etc… that would make her more inclined to try it again.  And yet, as we’re told, these subliminals become real and lasting when it is our spouses IDEA to initiate them as if they were her own, original thoughts.  Its just, (I hope) a waiting game.

I’ll leave on a question though…  How might you guys respond to, or reinforce the wife thinking sexual things?  Its a tricky, intangible thing, and thus hard to confirm.  Do I just leave that one alone, and let it be?

[MasterSouthernStar]

07/29/2013 at 9:54 pm

FaustsBoom

                I’d say respond every time you can.  Even if its just something like “sounds good” or “good idea” or something relatively noncommittal like that.  Anything that sounds even vaguely positive will do – just approve of that every time.  my take is that every time she mentions that stuff she’s probably seeking your approval subconsciously.  At least I’d like to think so  – and If I’m wrong what could it hurt?  The trick to me in what I perceive your situation to be is to not sound pushy but definitely come across as supportive of the new concept.  I think you want to make her think its her idea.  But I think you’ve got to let her know when her ideas are good.  Increased harmony in the house as well as increased positive feedback from her partner (you) ought to be pretty convincing if it continues steadily.

              Thanks so much for keeping us all informed.  I know how hard it is for me to sit down and write progress reports for this site so I am especially thankful for you guys who seem so good at it.  It keeps me working hard.  Please keep us in the loop.

MSS

[Qwerty]

07/29/2013 at 10:18 pm

Faust,
I can only speak for my situation. For me it was sexual innuendo, and more specifically grabbing a random statement here and there that my wife would say then playing mock outrage that she would be so sexually overt with her comments. She would laugh it off of course saying things like I would go there and such but after awhile the innuendos were real, accompanied by little smirks indicating that yes I did hear her correctly. Soon she was implying everything I said had sexual undertones. It was fun, flirty and harmless. As said in the beginning it started out with groans from her and comments like get my mind out of the gutter but it has be come more and more fun and less and less hidden in its meaning.

[Tap]

07/30/2013 at 1:57 am

As far as reinforcement, sometimes I’ll just give her compliments during sex, and then something like “that was really good for me” after sex is done, or something to that effect. My hope is that she sees I approve of her behavior and will want to continue doing it. I think it has had some positive affect because I noticed she’s more willing to do specific sexual actions that I like with less resistance now.

[FaustsBoon]

07/30/2013 at 1:02 pm

Thanks for all the great input guys, and MSS, it is my pleasure to keep this posted and be of service.  My thought is this…  the whole situation sucks.  I wish none of us had to turn to subliminals to improve our circumstances.  IF I can document what is going on, for good and bad alike, and lay it all out there, then maybe some kernels of wisdom will emerge by the end.  I’m not quick to spout advice.  I like the Socratic method.  Let me just give you all the information, and encourage critical thinking.  🙂

So, an interesting, if not terribly helpful update…

I need to catch my breath and stop myself from being too openly enthusiastic.  Last night I tried initiating sex, but the wife declined as we were both pretty legitimately exhausted.  As she was right, I didn’t feel compelled to press the point.  This morning however, when she called from work during a break, I felt emboldened by a fellow posters “Do whatever it takes to get in the mood” note, and told my wife, that even if she wanted to go to the gym later, to save some energy as I really want some intimate time with her later.  She kind of scolded me, albeit not intensely, and said that when I ask her every day, it makes her less excited, makes it less spontaneous, etc… (which is mostly a bullshit excuse she uses as she is FAR from spontaneous, and just never has been).  I eased back without making it seem I was quitting, but I know her “annoyed” tone, and if I continued the point, she would’ve gotten bitchy.

As I said… that one might be my bad.  The recent, even minor improvements, made me forget that my wife has her weird, weird guard up about our sex-life right now, and I really should just let things continue playing out.

I say, “playing out”, because I do feel like I noticed a couple interesting items…  Last night, during a conversation she mentioned something wild she saw once, and a sort of crazy sexual situation that played out near her while in college.  I felt it was unlike her to even bring up the topic, let alone share anything.

Similarly, my wife is terrible about turning off her PC before work.  I’ve had to turn it off for her forever.  Anyway, one thing I know is that from the ONE time we ordered something from Adam and Eve the online sex-shop,  she has forever gotten email spam from them.  These ALWAYS end up in her trash-bin/folder, still unread…. She just instantly deletes them.  Today I saw that her most recent email, in her inbox, was from them, and that it had been read, and left there instead of being deleted.

I’m hoping those little items are akin to QWERTY’s innuendo comments.  My wife has made more of those recently as well, and with these items as well, i’m hoping that aspect of my script that is about her thinking about sex often, and being horny all the time, are maybe doing something.

I also realized I may stop short of adding Submissive Thoughts Wife, for the moment, because in re-reading my custom, I realize I have bits such as, “I am submissive for my husband, X” which is repeated four times during the script, and likewise have lines such as, “My husband, x, is in control of my sex life,” and “I feel safe when my husband controls my sex life.”, both of which repeat 4-6 times each as well.

In essence Submissive Thoughts Wife is MOSTLY built in, as it is.  In fact, re-reading it, IF my custom proves successful, it really is perfectly what I need for this phase of training.  It would, in theory, massively increase her libido, and her enjoyment of sex, it would make sex a central portion of her day/life, and it would increase her sexual submission to me, and her desire to be dominated.  IF IF IF, all themes manifest successfully, equally, i’ll already end up 75% of the way to my “dream come true” life.

So, all I really need is for this to work.  :-p  And to that end, we’ll keep the heavy repetitions going, AND, i’ll ease back on making it an overt topic in our life, while it is working its more subtle magic in the background…. or so I hope.  

[Tap]

07/31/2013 at 2:35 am

I have a few suggestions. While your custom might have submissive statements, STW might be an added benefit because it seems like you need her to give in to your needs more when you suggest sex.

Another suggestion is to throw out the idea there of having sex at MINIMUM 2 to 3 times a week or 5 to 6 times every 2 weeks. I say that because while all of us are not so lucky to have sex every day such as Qwerty, at least getting it that much is a decent amount. You can say something like for our marriage, this is something important to me and we SHOULD be having that much sex. If she is submissive enough, she should agree to that. In this way if she agrees, the expectation is there that you will be having that much sex and can space it out in the week. The above is what I do and it’s been working for me. I’d say we have more if she’s drunk, but we never have less than that.

[FaustsBoon]

07/31/2013 at 5:50 pm

@Tap1 said:
I have a few suggestions. While your custom might have submissive statements, STW might be an added benefit because it seems like you need her to give in to your needs more when you suggest sex.

Another suggestion is to throw out the idea there of having sex at MINIMUM 2 to 3 times a week or 5 to 6 times every 2 weeks. I say that because while all of us are not so lucky to have sex every day such as Qwerty, at least getting it that much is a decent amount. You can say something like for our marriage, this is something important to me and we SHOULD be having that much sex. If she is submissive enough, she should agree to that. In this way if she agrees, the expectation is there that you will be having that much sex and can space it out in the week. The above is what I do and it’s been working for me. I’d say we have more if she’s drunk, but we never have less than that.

Well, right now, before I assert myself and try to insist on any sort of baseline, i’m just taking a minute to observe what is simmering under the surface, and seeing what bubbles up.  Right now, I think most of us would agree that QWERTY seems to be our bench-mark, at least amongst the actively posting members of this forum.  As such, his approach was a more measure, passive one, where he encouraged, etc… but let things develop on their own as if they were his wife’s idea.  As i’m JUST getting to a place where, a couple weeks in, i’m seeing tiny little signs, i’m letting curiosity take hold, and i’m seeing what shakes out on its own.  Good idea for the future though.  When she’s getting more pliable i’ll make a statement like that for sure… assuming I even need it.  Qwerty seems to have gone from essentially being in my position (sex every couple of weeks) to “nightly”, in the span of two months, without needing to put his foot down at all.  I appreciate that brand of “work smarter, not harder.”  😉

So, small confession time, in my update, but I need to make it for context.

I’ve actually added a second track to my play-list, and it is in fact a custom version of Qwerty’s arousal file.  I had been speaking with him privately, and for all our sake, have to find out if his file happens to be a perfect-storm for his wife, or if there REALLY is something in how he recorded it (settings wise), the script, etc…  He was incredibly generous with his time, and made me a version of his script identical to his, with the ONLY change being my name in the place of his.

Last night I used it for the first time.  As it is a silent, I was able to play it during evening TV/relaxation, in our bedroom.  It ran for about three total hours, and more importantly in my mind, those were three hours where I would NOT have been playing my Trainer built, custom ultimate file.  This means I can, without worry, add something without feeling like it is coming at the expense of repetitions of my file, while also trying this experiment on all our behalf.

Interestingly enough, by the time we were going to bed, my wife had erect nipples (for no reason… we hadn’t been doing anything remotely sexual), and I am pretty sure that she had several sex dreams during the night.

Now, I saw similar responses right before quitting “I love sex” and replacing it with my custom, so having now had several weeks pass, I don’t know if…

A. This was brought on by my custom continuing to take small/starting effect?

B. Was caused by Qwerty’s file

C. Some combination of the two.

I will continue playing my custom during all of the times I would have already, IE for six-eight hours per night while we sleep, and for 1-3 hours per day while awake.  I will, however, also be adding 1-3 hours of Qwerty’s custom during different waking hours, depending on the day (always getting in at least one).

While not PERFECTLY scientifically rigorous, nor following the scientific method for proper experimentation, I do feel like IF results suddenly improve dramatically, it will be because of Qwerty’s custom, thus requiring further more specific study.

Obviously i’ll keep you guys posted.  For now, i’m just hoping to see some of these behaviors break through to waking hours.  A wife dreaming of, and thinking of sex, is a good start, and is a move in the right direction, but it still has to lead TO sex.  :-p

[Tap]

08/01/2013 at 12:19 am

Interesting FB. I hope Qwerty’s file works for you. It’s not that difficult to make a custom. I could make you a single voiced one anytime using Amy’s voice if you just supply me a script. It takes like 20 minutes to do. I’ll send you the wav file so you can hear what she’s saying exactly, and then the silent version (I only do silents). The two should match timewise perfectly so you’ll know it’s the same file in the silent. Of course if that follows the forum rules. I noticed a board about sharing files in the gold forum so I’m assuming this is ok.

[FaustsBoon]

08/01/2013 at 5:37 pm

So, not much in the way of updates, but as unscientific as it is…  I do feel like a change is in the air.  I don’t know quite how to describe it, but intuition tells me there is just a small tonal change lingering.  For example, a random touch lasts just a hair longer than it should, or my wife is quicker to get naked around me.

Last night I believe my wife continued to have sexual dreams (though obviously I can’t be sure).  She seems resistant to telling me about her dreams either genuinely not remembering, or not wanting to own up to them.  She did have erect nipples again during the night, and this morning, and her breasts seem more sensitive.  During the night she let me caress and squeeze her breasts as I wanted to, and in her sleep, as I did this, she would sometimes stir/moan.

Again, I don’t yet know if Qwerty’s file is augmenting my Trainer-built custom, or if it is just that my custom has been running long enough to coincidentally start showing something, just as I added Qwerty’s silent file to our evening routine.  Either way, as the Qwerty file is not using up any of the time i’d be running my file, then I will happily keep it playing, and see how things go.  

As I said though… it feels like some subtle thing is brewing, the wife’s attitude just feels a touch…. different.

Edit:  One other small observation, actually.  Last night, when my wife was coming to bed, she had her panties on.  One of the things which has “stuck” from my earliest go with subliminals has been nudity as we sleep.  She tends to sleep naked now, as do I, which has been nice.  BUT she had come to be wearing panties.  I asked her, as we turned the lights off, if she was wearing panties, and she said yes, she was going to sleep with them on…. and yet within thirty seconds, she just took them off.  Its funny, because even though I am not using any of Qwerty’s files aside from the arousal one, we had similar results in our wives almost not even realizing they were getting naked.  Just an observation.

Also, my wife has gone out in the last week to buy new panties.  Nothing super sexy or anything, but I once told her i’d like her to wear sexier underwear versus her loose and ugly granny panties.  Her new ones are drastically better, even if not overtly sexual, but again, this is a change I once asked for (albeit during our worst slump from a month or so ago)

[Fizbin]

08/01/2013 at 8:22 pm

Sounds like good progress. The subconscious is a strange and wondrous thing. If she’s looking for ways to please you, those memories of one-off comments can come bubbling to the surface at pretty random times. Sit back and enjoy!

[FaustsBoon]

08/01/2013 at 10:30 pm

@Fizbin said:
Sounds like good progress. The subconscious is a strange and wondrous thing. If she’s looking for ways to please you, those memories of one-off comments can come bubbling to the surface at pretty random times. Sit back and enjoy!

Question is… where is the desire to please me coming from, per se?

My current play-list is literally my sex custom all night, and some during the day, and QWERTY’s arousal file for a few hours a day, here and there, as possible.

If I were still playing STW, His Happiness, LHO Husband, etc… the behavior would make more sense.  

Honestly, and this was a passing glance, but I even think my wife has been much more dilligent about trimming her pubic hair, which is something she knows I prefer.

The only thing I can think of is that, some of our conversations the last month+ have been about how much I value our marriage, and how happy I am in every realm BUT our sex-life.  I can only guess that she might link that idea (improving all things sexual) with improving our marriage, my happiness, in general… at least that is my hope.

I guess we’ll see how things proceed.  Qwerty and I have been communicating off site, comparing war-stories, talking about where our wives were, how they have always acted, etc… and we have incredibly similar circumstances.  As such, I am hoping I can see similar results in the next few months, as his story should literally be the poster-child for how this program should theoretically work.

[FaustsBoon]

08/02/2013 at 5:30 pm

Slow progress to report… but I feel like it is there none-the-less.  I guess reporting daily, or close to it, makes it hard to show off dramatic results (good or bad), but I still thought I would share.

The wife continues to be on the diet of 8-9 hours of my Trainer Custom (see Gold forum), and 2-3 hours of Qwerty’s customized general arousal file (ditto).  Last night, when she came home I told her i’d been thinking of her all day, and that all I wanted was to hold her and kiss her (i’m not pushing my luck this go-around, and instead just want it to feel like a warm, loving environment for the moment, I also wasn’t feeling up for sex so I figured i’d score loving husband points).  Anyway, she stripped out of her work clothes, mounted me and just cuddled with me and told me about her day, all while straddling me in her panties and shirt.  As she was telling me about her day, I randomly just told her to take her shirt off, as it would be even more intimate, and she did without hesitation.  All the while, I let her talk about her day, she asked me about mine… but all the while I was gently caressing her breasts, or running my hand along her inner thighs.

I left her that way.  😉  I didn’t push for sex….  In fact, I kind of like the idea that I might’ve sent her off to bed feeling turned on.  The whole time, our subliminals were playing, which i’m hoping augmented the whole thing.

At night, last night, and the night before i’ve also taken to outright groping her breasts as she sleeps.  In the distant past she wouldn’t even let me.  In the past she would brush my hand away in her sleep if I even did anything more than leave my hand on her breast.  These last two nights I have been squeezing her, pinching or stroking her nipples, etc… and she will usually just let it happen (and a couple times even moaned in her sleep).

So, no outright sex to report… but as i’ve said SOMETHING feels like it is in the air/changing.

I’ve made one small change to my plan.  Qwerty being both a gentle-man and a cool cat, has helped me create my own version of his general arousal file.  More than just replacing his name with mine, he helped me write a script that was VERY overtly sexual, trying to trigger the same raw, primal, lusty animal side of my wife, in single-minded ways.  It uses not the language my wife uses in daily speech, but the words i’ve heard her used in more intense moments, or when she things people can’t hear her…  Essentially i’m going on the assumption that Qwerty’s files work because of….

1. His custom levels (pitch, amplification, nyquist, etc…)

2. His script directly appealed to the repressed side of our wives  Its crude, and vulgar, and really hits the part of the brain that wants to release those hormones and go to town.

I’m going to post the script right now in Gold forum, so feel free to check it out.  Whereas my Trainer custom is more a balance of naughty, and also loving (comforting, securing, etc…)  as a way of encouraging general feelings of liking sex, desiring physical intimacy/sex, this file will be purely about getting her horny, and wanting to put out in ways I like.

I will be replacing Qwerty Arousal, with this file as of today, and plan to not change ANYTHING for the next 60 days (as that is roughly how long Qwerty’s program took to go from 0 to 60), unless I see any behaviors I genuinely don’t like developing.

I also think, both for karma sake, for fun, and to help elicit the kind of response I want from my wife, that I will keep up the teasing…  I think I will genuinely make every effort to arouse her that I can, but if sex isn’t going to happen, i’ll just smile, and leave her wanting, knowing i’ve worked her up.  😉

So, i’m expecting a small set-back, but will keep journaling.  Basically, knowing i’m making program changes makes me expect regression, so switching files today probably means I won’t see much for a bit.  That said, i’ll post any observations, good or ill.

Edit:  For what it is worth, Gold Forum is crapping the bed, and will not let me make a new thread.  I have the script though, and will post it as soon as the forums let me.  

[Fizbin]

08/03/2013 at 11:10 am

Congratulations, and good luck with the new script!

Did you ping Trainer on the Gold Forum issue?

[FaustsBoon]

08/03/2013 at 5:40 pm

Hey guys…  Super quick update as i’m short on time.  I’ll keep the flowery language out of it, and just list the day/night’s observations.

Wife went to work yesterday, having listened to two hours of the new Qwerty Custom, and all her usual hours of my Trainer custom.

She came home, and again jumped right on top of me, straddling me only in her panties and a shirt.  Again, as she was telling me about her day I told her to take her shirt off, and she had it whipped off within seconds of my asking.  We continued to talk about our respective day that way, until heading to bed, though the entire time I was caressing her inner thighs, gently running my hand past her breasts, etc…  I’m pretty confident we drifted off to bed with sex on her mind.

During the night she seemed to have quite a few sex dreams.  Likewise I rubbed her breasts, played with her nipples, etc… as she slept.  She would occasionally moan, push her hips against my crotch, etc…  

This morning, after joking around about some things I mentioned that my porn name would be “Rex Areola” using the whole comedy thing about your porn name being built off of your first pet’s name…  I didn’t even realize the double entendre of “Rex = Wrecks”… but my wife did.  With a smile, she said I already do that, by fondling her all night!  

I was shocked.  I thought her sub-conscious mind was getting more comfortable with me playing with her at night, but didn’t suspect she was ever consciously aware of it.  Not only is she… but she seems totally happy with the fact.

THAT is a very different tone for my bedroom.  As I have said… something is in the air, between it now being three weeks of my Trainer custom in constant play, and especially since the few days of adding Qwerty Arousal to the mix.  Hopefully switching the later to my newest Qwerty custom doesn’t derail the amazing progress, at least in terms of tone.

She is obviously thinking about sex…  Its only a matter of time before something breaks in….  I already implied that she was “mine” tonight, so lets see what happens.  😉

[tonguester4_69]

08/03/2013 at 6:53 pm

Sounds very hopeful, Faust.I wish you success, as I do for all the guys here.

[FaustsBoon]

08/03/2013 at 9:37 pm

@tonguester4_69 said:
Sounds very hopeful, Faust.I wish you success, as I do for all the guys here.

Thanks man.  I’m trying to stay hopeful too.  I keep thinking i’m reading into it, or that it is a coincidence and won’t happen again…. but then it does.  The new tone/behaviors that are popping up seem to continue day to day… so I guess we’ll see what happens tonight.

I mean, you have to remember, during the two worst months for me, we had sex one per month…  I’ve at least had sex twice in the last three weeks, so its something, even if it isn’t impressive.  If we do have sex tonight, it means we’ve gone at least seemingly, from monthly, back to weekly.

I wish I could share my new script with you guys so you have context for what I should look for, encourage, etc…  You can all readily see my Trainer made custom script already, but i’m trying to decide if I should be using Qwerty’s general arousal (with my name in it, you can also see his script in Gold), or my new Qwerty Custom which has the same concepts of firing up the wife’s more wild/base/animal side.

[FaustsBoon]

08/05/2013 at 1:58 pm

Ok guys…  a couple days without a post, as I was hoping I would have more to report, but sadly, it just isn’t the case.  In fact, there may have even been a little slip in terms of progression, which, to be fair, I did actually anticipate.  In a strange way, even a negative-but-predicted result IS good science.  It means I/we are better understanding the methodology of the subliminals, etc… when we can accurately see things coming.

So this it has been two days since replacing QWERTY’s general arousal file, with my QWERTY custom.  I fully expected to lose some of the “urgency” I was beginning to see which I thought MIGHT be from Qwerty’s arousal file.  It has been too soon since starting its replacement to expect anything, but MAN did I have a chance to give it a headstart.  My wife was home yesterday, and since the file is only a touch over two minutes, my computer reported that my wife was exposed to the file 340 times during the day.  Otherwise, it just gets play during the evening as we relax in bed.

My regular Custom, as made by Trainer and I, continued to run all night, every night.

My wife has continued to be affectionate, continues to spend much more time around me nude, will make the stray innuendo, will not roll her eyes at mine, etc…  She continues to let me play with her breasts in the evening, or even at night, with no resistance, and last night, on a whim I asked her to hold my cock as she slept (it seemed like a good submissive behavior to see if I could elicit), and she did on one or two occasions.  

So there is, that “something in the air” tonal change I was reporting, but it, slightly frustratingly, stops short of actual sex.  After two days of making it seem like we would be having sex this weekend, it never happened, and when I, in a strong, dominant, but non-aggressive way, made advances, I just hit a brick wall, and one I knew not to push through without damaging the progress i’ve seen so far.

At this point, my Trainer Custom has run for three weeks.  It certainly hasn’t yielded the oral sex portion of its script, nor has it led to sex.  It has however seemed to increase intimacy though, and physical intimacy in the sense that nakedness, touching, etc… is dramatically different.  A LOT of that custom does talk about her feeling loved and safe during sex, which I am guessing is where this is coming from.  There is also some elements of submission which might be showing up a touch, as I implied.

I guess that makes it a “good” couple of days, even if the waiting game is a challenge.  I intend to continue these two tracks, and I believe in them… I think I just need more time.

[FaustsBoon]

08/05/2013 at 5:21 pm

Actually, another short addition to what I just posted above…

My wife has been weirdly… active(?) lately, and seems to be making seemingly random, but positive changes.

Remember how I mentioned her starting to wear better underwear?  Well, in general, she keeps doing those kinds of things.  Since getting married she really let herself go, aesthetically, in terms of personal grooming, fitness, dressing nicer, etc…

Without me saying a word, in the last few days she has starting doing a beauty regime in the evening before bed, has made a new exercise/gym schedule and has seriously committed to diving back in, and just seems to be making more of an effort.

What is weird, is that I never asked for her to do this, so if she is doing it to please me, it is her own idea… and not something from my script/subliminals.

She has mentioned wanting to “reboot” our lives, and wanting to be more positive, and do better for ourselves than just phoning it in…. which, again, may not be in my subliminal scripts, but IS something i’ve wanted for her.

[trainer81]

08/05/2013 at 8:03 pm

Talk about positive changes, very nice   Make sure becomes habit forming by using encouragement.  Remember new habits are hard to break.

Trainer81

[Tap]

08/06/2013 at 12:32 am

This may not apply to her but I’ll throw something out there. I hope your custom has a lot of references to you and not to sex in general. I only say that because with all that subliminal repetitions, I feel like you should have been having sex already. In my custom, I was sure to include “my husband” and my name through each affirmation when it came to sex.

[FaustsBoon]

08/06/2013 at 1:57 pm

Yes…  There are many, many references to me throughout both scripts I am using.  Likewise, you’d think it would’ve been time by now, but we’ve also established how incredibly different this seems to play out from one person to the next.  Especially considering my wife’s complex history with her sexuality, i’m not shocked it has taken longer…. that said……

Update:

Last night, we had sex.  It wasn’t jaw-dropping or life altering, but it was good, and it definitely carried that same sense of having a different “tone” that has hung around her as of late.  She was VERY much into it, for example.  Other observations…  She actually asked me to “keep going” when I tried a little something different.  She would never have said something like that prior.  When I was going to stop, she sort of timidly said… “You could keep doing that… I mean… if its not uncomfortable for you… or anything…”   Of course, by that point I was feeling like a stud, so of course I responded to her timid request, in the most impressive way I could.  :-p

While we were actually having intercourse I just randomly told her to talk dirty to me… and she lost it, cumming immediately.  Just my acting more “intense” in a masculine way was obviously working wonders on her.

Beyond sex, she again spent time cuddled with me nude, even before our love-making.

All it all, I won’t call it life-altering, end-goal in sight success… but it finally feels like healthy progress.  She actually asked me before bed, “Do you want me to take care of you?” and only then did I tell her I wanted to have sex with her, instead of just getting a handjob or whatever.  Point is… she offered, and when I told her what I wanted, she was absolutely happy to.

Hope this isn’t the only good update i’ll be writing for the near future.  🙂

[Qwerty]

08/06/2013 at 2:59 pm

Sounds like you are starting to see those concrete results you have been looking for. Keep doing what you have been doing, because it sounds like the dam may be breaking, and remember to be assertive not agressive with your wife. Congrats Faust.

[FaustsBoon]

08/06/2013 at 3:35 pm

@Qwerty said:
Sounds like you are starting to see those concrete results you have been looking for. Keep doing what you have been doing, because it sounds like the dam may be breaking, and remember to be assertive not agressive with your wife. Congrats Faust.

Absolutely man.  And trust me, i’m the LAST person to need the distinction between assertive and aggressive.  Assertive I can be, and in some areas of my life, like my career, it is what created opportunities for me.  Aggressive, however, is something I just don’t have in me.  🙂

And I hope you’re right.  We were just talking about it yesterday, so the timing was certainly ironic, AND appreciated.  I think the problem is, when I reflect on this in years to come… the results of subliminals are in a gradient.  You don’t suddenly hit day “x” and see results…  And when results show up, they may be in a really weird form.

On PAPER, my wife should be all, “Grrr fuck me… I need to cum right now” levels of manic… but her approaching me was more like, “Well, you know… if you really want to I guess we could…..”  :-p  It doesn’t make it less the desired outcome, but it does make it harder to always remember to connect the success with the subliminal.

Now that it feels like I am in a good place in terms of how to run the subliminals, to be patient, to not script change every few weeks, etc…. and I am starting to see results, I will just continue this course.

From your own journal, I know you first started thinking your arousal files were working when sex slowly increased in frequency.  It didn’t jump from none to daily, but seemed to be a month and a half where it slowly increased in frequency, and your wife’s intensity/desire, until you really reached a critical mass week.

For me, this means even more moderation, and calm patience, with the understanding that August might just be a slow burn.  🙂

I won’t lie though… if I hit the level of success you have, I might just take a week off of work and revel in it.  😉

Speaking of Qwerty… any more updates?  I know you only updated a couple days ago, but i’m curious if things continue, or are escalating further, etc…

[FaustsBoon]

08/07/2013 at 12:36 pm

So a small update and some book keeping…

   My script, is finally posted in the Gold section.  Turns out it was actually being blocked by this forums obscenity filter.  I guess that says something about the script, but that IS by design, as I tried to make it as vulgar/primal as I could, in line with Qwerty’s very direct, arousal file.  It is posted in a weird edited form, so if you use it, don’t just do a copy and paste, or hilarity would ensue.

   As for an update… the correct trajectory continues.  Last night I wasn’t about to ask for sex as the wife came home wicked late, and had to be at work today incredibly early.  On a whim though, and because some cuddling with her had left me… interested, I told her that a handjob would be nice.  Now, normally she would’ve said something snarky, in light of the fact that we’d had sex 24hrs earlier… but not only did she not say anything, but in fact said “sure” and proceeded to.  It wasn’t momentous, mind you, as she was barely paying attention… but it is progress in a sense, and it does feel like barriers of repressed sexuality are slowly coming down.

    Also, durning a little TV a few lewd innuendos on the show we watched would have normally been met with eye-rolling.  Instead, my wife giggled, and looked over at me as if to say, “Can you believe that?”

    All in all I am enjoying the slow, but improved situation, and will keep monitoring it for itself, and against the context of the “Qwerty” experimental method/timeline.  If his methods are indeed somehow perfect, and the vulgar scripting technique work as well, it seems I should be roughly on pace for another two weeks of once-weekly or so, sex, before anything else MIGHT emerge.  Lets see.

    Oh, one last thing.  Keep in mind the vulgar/arousal script is still only ONE part of the situation.  Trainer’s custom, more centered on the wife enjoying sex, feeling comfortable/safe/loved with me and during sex, and also desiring/thinking about sex more, etc… continues to get 70% of my play-time, as it runs allllll night.

[FaustsBoon]

08/07/2013 at 6:23 pm

One more small piece of book-keeping, which is going to be for record keeping purposes…

Qwerty and I compared notes, and our wives demeanors, behaviors, etc… pre-subliminals is very, very similar.  This is actually a good thing for the purpose of seeing how these files work.

Upon re-reading his journal, and talking to him, I have noted “landmarks” in his use of subliminals, and will be leaving this “timeline” of a sort, in order to try to track goals.

Qwerty started with a playlist which involved one love/general submission themed file (this was usually His Happiness, but at points was Submissive Thoughts Wife), and his slightly sexy “breast” file.  This was staggered, with him adding his “arousal” file two to three weeks later, and maintaining that play-list, ever since (largely).

As such…

I have been using Trainer’s love/submission/light sexual thinking custom for three weeks, and two weeks in added my own Qwerty-styled/recorded, “Raw” sexuality/arousal file.  

Based on that…

In the three weeks since, sex has gone from once-per-month to roughly weekly (give or take a few days on either end)  This is on pace with the results Qwerty saw.

This means that, if all works completely parallel (which is unlikely, as every human takes to subliminals different… but for sake of argument…)

– In five weeks, sex should be at approximately two-times-per-week, with her initiating sometimes

– In nine weeks, sex should be nearly daily, with her initiating often

– In twelve weeks, ravenous, sex-crazed wife.

Again, it is unreasonable to expect 1:1 results, but for fun, and as a data-point, i’m leaving this here.  IF results continue to line up, however, i’ll definitely post that once-mentioned “best practices” guide based on my copious notes and final observations.

[FaustsBoon]

08/08/2013 at 12:24 pm

Very short update, but another positive day/evening.

I played the Qwerty Custom for my wife for a good five hours last night as she came home from work a bit early, which was nice.  I like getting as much time in for that file as possible as I don’t run it at night, and want to make sure it still gets its fair shot to work every day, even if its only for a couple hours.

Anyway, the wife remains highly affectionate, in a very schoolgirl/giddy kind of way.  Last night she was poking me, trying to tickle me… generally just being very “touchy” albeit in playful ways.  Mind you, she was still naked the whole time as we’ve taken to watching evening TV, cuddling, etc… that way for a couple hours before bed.

I definitely feel as if she is changing.  The tone is different, and though it isn’t always sexual, it certainly has more touching, affection, smiles, etc…  She also spends so much more time naked around me than she did even a month ago.  Even when we were already sleeping together nude should would undress with the lights off, right before bed.

Night was interesting as well, because a couple of times when I was awake, I caught her, while asleep mind you, saying “I love you” and once blew me a kiss.  Affection is definitely rising.

One last thing…  and this is probably over-thinking things… but while she was asleep and I rolled over to face her (and thus was half-awake), I put my arm around her, and told her to put her hand on me (meaning, put your arm around me too…), well, in her sleep she reached down, and gently grabbed (and held) my penis as she fell back asleep.  Again, probably over-thinking, but her sub-conscious brain went straight there, of all its options…

[Fizbin]

08/08/2013 at 1:25 pm

Congratulations! Big step, little step – it matters not if they’re all marching in the right direction!

Don’t be surprised if there is another resistance rally or two, though they’ll probably become fewer and farther between. (and again, most likely synched with certain biological rhythms – though not necessarily at the phase you expect…)

[FaustsBoon]

08/08/2013 at 1:50 pm

@Fizbin said:
Congratulations! Big step, little step – it matters not if they’re all marching in the right direction!

 

Don’t be surprised if there is another resistance rally or two, though they’ll probably become fewer and farther between. (and again, most likely synched with certain biological rhythms – though not necessarily at the phase you expect…)

Thanks for the reminder Fiz.  As my kind of “macro” dream-timeline (as improbable as it is) spans months though, you sort of reach a scale where the natural ebb and (sic) flow, are accounted for.

Meanwhile, I will say one funny thought I had was that it is such an insight into the female mind to see how “affection” is born (in a sense).  You would think, based on my scripts that affection would manifest in a much more “grrrr” desirous, intense way…. whereas in reality her showing increased physical interest in me is starting with playfulness, that feels almost childlike. 

I feel like men are much more inclined to act in the way their emotions closest resemble.  Anger, intensity, passion, etc… is responded to by being intense, strong, etc… whereas I feel like women have a level of “calculation” in between where they think about how they want what they’re feeling to translate into, in terms of action.

[FaustsBoon]

08/08/2013 at 5:07 pm

One small item I forgot to mention.  If some of you saw on Gold forums yesterday, Fiz and I had a REALLY random bit of fun trivia in conversation when he explained how “Fancy” was used as a colloquialism for “pussy” in a lot of media, at one point, to bypass censorship.

As my wife and I are word nerds, I told her that fact, and we had a really good laugh about it, and even laughed at how naughty and subversive it is that “tickles her fancy” is such an accepted phrase that even modest, old ladies use it without realizing how risque it is.

This morning, I looked at our computer’s search history, and found she’d been researching the term “fancy” and its usage.

Just another small way in which sex, and sexual ideas are increasingly sticking in her mind.

[Fizbin]

08/09/2013 at 12:24 am

Way cool! Random etymology rules!

[FaustsBoon]

08/10/2013 at 1:22 pm

Nothing much to report over the last couple days, in fact last night was a bit of a back-step.

Thursday continued to be fine, there was a lot of playfulness and all continued, albeit in baby-steps in the right direction.  A few more innuendos here and there, a little more teasing, continued nudity, all the right kinds of behaviors, with nothing new breaking in.

Yesterday, my wife was just moody.  She tried being sweet, was occasionally affectionate, and we did spend plenty of time together, but I just couldn’t get her up to the same level of content, fun, etc…  She turned down my advances that night, as well, but knowing i’ve promised myself i’d be cool, and just keep the environment super relaxed/positive while things work, I let it slide.

I did tell her before bed that i’d tried very hard to be romantic, and fun, and give her a pleasant day, and that I wanted to make sure she was alright, as I had been met with her being oddly distant.  Upon hearing it, she reassured me that it wasn’t me, that she was just in a funk, and in the few minutes left before we went to bed, she seemed to really double-down on kisses and “I love you”s, to make up for her mood.

It isn’t time for anything pertaining to her cycle, so i’m not sure what the issue was born from, but all ended up well enough.

Tonight will mark, one month of my Trainer custom, and two and a half weeks into my Qwerty Arousal custom.  In this month I have seen a moderate increase in sex (up from once a month, MAYBE twice a month, to three times this month), but more notably a general increase in her affection, playfulness, teasing, and so on.  If I had to guess, positive changes will continue to increase, because sex-dreams, touching, nakedness while together, all of that has increased much more that the slight increase in sex would imply.

I am hoping trends continue.  Another month of the identical playlists, home environment, etc… should be VERY telling.  If no further changes emerge perceptibly in the next month, i’ll have to review, but for now, all is well, and we’ll see what we see.

[Tap]

08/10/2013 at 7:36 pm

FB,

I think some women in general are able to contain their sex drive and willingness to have sex. Your wife appears to be like that. I feel that you’ve been playing both customs long enough where you should have been having a lot more sex by now. From your previous journal, it seemed like you were getting more sex and BJs when you first started with HH, STW, and WCS.

My suggestion is to include STW back to get her to being more submissive in general or HH to want to please you or give in to your happiness. That way when you come on to her, her thinking of pleasing you coupled with her thoughts of wanting sex should be enough to have sex.

[FaustsBoon]

08/11/2013 at 1:09 pm

Not a lot to report, as I am running into an old adversary…. the terrible, terrible, scheduling at my wife’s job.

I can’t even be sure if i’ve lost progress, or not, as the wife is half-comatose by the time we’re together.  She’s been at work by 5:00am every day for the last three, and has two more early starts ahead of her.  She has, to her credit, kept up with her house-work, etc… with gentle (but frequent) reminders, but ultimately she’s been on five/six hours of sleep, and it is laying her out.

It feels like there has been a bit of a backslide, but she might also just be aloof/disinterested because of how sleepy she is.  She has still continued to be naked with me in the evenings… still seems more like she’s making an effort to be affectionate… but the whole thing comes through a haze of sleepiness.

As such, I expect to have nothing to report for another couple days, as this non-sense keeps up.  Hopefully the subliminals are still sinking in, the changes are still occurring, etc… and visibility of progress is just held up temporarily.

I’m still on one-a-week, and if I am looking to Qwerty’s timetable, I still have three-four weeks before that could be twice a week (and escalates from there).

[Fizbin]

08/11/2013 at 7:55 pm

I feel for you on the scheduling and exhaustion. I’m seriously considering shifting the focus of my program to trusting that my income is enough and quitting her full-time job so she can take better care of things at home.

[Tap]

08/11/2013 at 10:08 pm

Fiz, that’s a good idea that you should take into consideration if you can afford it financially as well as with you FB. Your wives can really concentrate more on what matters if they’re not to busy with too much work. Things have progressed for me a lot more when my wife switched from FT to part time.

[FaustsBoon]

08/12/2013 at 12:08 pm

@Tap1 said:
Fiz, that’s a good idea that you should take into consideration if you can afford it financially as well as with you FB. Your wives can really concentrate more on what matters if they’re not to busy with too much work. Things have progressed for me a lot more when my wife switched from FT to part time.

I’m sure Tap.  And it is a good idea… but i’m not 100% sure we can afford to right now.  I mean… I COULD have, but my wife brought a lot of debt into this marriage, and i’m making sure she is a more literal contributor to paying it off.  I’m only a few years older than her, but she came into this marriage to find me having ZERO debt despite having two Masters degrees, as well as a home that I outright owned.  She came in with 50k+ in school debts, and no concept of managing money.

Mercifully, she has always been submissive financially, recognizing that I flat out know better, and I have told her, we aren’t starting a family, etc… until her debt is gone.  She also doesn’t spend nearly anything, so that is one traditional marriage fight I never have to have.

But the schedule and exhaustion is clearly a factor here…  Her attitude has been so much better, and I believe she IS thinking about sex much more, and has more desire.  Problem is, she’s lazy under the best of circumstances, and when you compound it with a legitimate reason to be very tired, the result is that she’s been walking in the door, doing what I flat out tell her to and not one thing extra, then collapsing in front of TV/computer.  Even so, the flirty attitude I saw developing earlier this week is still there, and she’ll still say things, wink at me, whatever…

We’ll see where progress really is in a few days.  She’s off Wed/Thurs, and then returns to better hours for a week afterwards.

Fingers crossed.

[FaustsBoon]

08/13/2013 at 12:24 pm

So despite still being aboard the exhaustion train for one more day, yesterday proved interesting, and made me feel a little better about the question-marks floating about my head regarding my progress.

The wife came home, and we almost immediately had to go out as we were seeing a friend off to college at a little get-together with many of my wife’s co-workers.  I think sometimes my wife takes my charms for granted, because after leaving, I think my being the center of attention and keeping ten folks laughing and entertained for two-hours must have caught her gaze.  She was looking at me differently, and I could tell she appreciated my going with her, and making her look really good in front of colleagues, etc…

Well, despite being exhausted she was back to being hyper affectionate… cuddling with me… etc…  She kept telling me how sweet I am, how much she loves me, as well.

She then said that she wanted to have sex, but knew she was too out of it to be very impressive.  I told her not to worry, that she was about to have two days off and we could do plenty of “catching up” on the sex front.  She did ask if I wanted to be “taken care of” though…. I said yes, and it seemed she was about to give me a blowjob (she hasn’t in months, and months at this point mind you).  She paused, and said she had just gargled with Peroxide, etc… and she thought I might prefer not to have that caustic shit on my penis (Good call wifey!), so instead gave me a handjob.  She did say she totally was going to though, and that we’d pick up where we left off in a day or so when she’s off.

She also had an incredibly sleepless night, even more-so than lately, moaning, and very obviously having a bunch of sex dreams.

Hard as it might be to remember, on three, four, five day stretches where results seem to slow way down, this is roughly where Qwerty was during his epic transition, and effects do seem to be showing up randomly (but increasingly often).

Fingers crossed.  The next couple days should be more telling.

[Tap]

08/13/2013 at 11:53 pm

I hope for your case. I’m starting to believe Qwerty’s wife is just very susceptible to the sex subliminals and he is lucky. I’ve followed your recent journal closely, and it’s obvious it’s not working with the same intensity as Qwerty’s has been. I have a science degree and am into doing research and studies such as this. The preliminary results to me show that it’s not so much Qwerty’s script itself that has caused such a dramatic shift in his wife, but a combination of that and the personal characteristics of his wife.

The same conclusion can be drawn with WCS and why for some people, it works to get your wife to give more BJs, and for others, it has no effect. The conclusion is that it’s not the script necessarily but how one’s wife reacts to it.

I also still think you were having more sex and BJs with trainer’s WCS and HH then you are now after the same amount of time of playing the subliminals. Your wife appears to respond more to scripts that are geared towards submission in general, more specific scripts like WCS, or pleasing you scripts such as HH rather than a script that turns your wife on.

On a base level, theoretically, if a woman is turned on sexually, she can always still withold sex if she wants to. Sometimes there is something more that stops her from having sex whether it be resentment toward her husband, not wanting to get pregnant, or other deep seeded issues. I see that in my wife in that she might be turned on, but she holds herself back for whatever reason. I believe it’s important to attack this issue directly to have more success sexually.

[FaustsBoon]

08/14/2013 at 2:05 pm

Dramatic changes…  I’ll report in soon… but… *ahem* the wife is calling… again.  😉

[FaustsBoon]

08/14/2013 at 3:11 pm

You know Tap… If you’re a scientist, you should have learned things about such broad topics as patience, methodology, etc… just throwing that out there. People’s methods, personalities, etc… differ, and occasionally you make it seem like you’ve decisively found the way.

Then again, as a scientist, and someone with so much subliminal experience, from such credible experts as, “The guy who sells subliminals to unlock your psychic powers”, i’m sure you know that.

Anyway… i’ll update this more thoroughly when time permits, but the wife and I are going to go out and have a nice day. Needless to say, it has been a pretty extraordinary last twelve hours or so, and really reinforced that not only am I feeling positive about what has generally been going on, but I am ahead of the curve as derived empirically from Qwerty’s journals. Its funny how I try grounding things in… you know… data, and such.

But what do I know… i’ve never made shocking breakthroughs like, “If you ask someone for something nicely, it somehow works better than being an ass and making demands.”

[Tap]

08/15/2013 at 12:00 am

Ok, there’s no need to attack me just because you may not agree with my opinion. I think if you reread your old journal, you’ll see you were having more sex than 3 times a month with trainer’s other files. A month on the ILS and more than 2 weeks on your other custom is a lot of time to have seen decent results.

Hopefully you’re at least having sex when your wife’s off, but seeing as how she’s working so much, she’s likely to be too tired or use that excuse to not have sex when her strenuous work week begins again. You’re the one that’s supposed to be the cynic here not me. I know you’re trying to be optimistic about it, but from an objective point of view, at this point in the subliminal cycle in terms of time, you had more success with HH and WCS. You were posting about her giving you BJs and your sexcapades even shortly after you started using the previous subliminals. I don’t think she’s given you a BJ since starting your new playlist? Your mistake was pushing the sex slave issue verbally to her in which she shut down herself with your old playlist.

You probably would have more success adding HH along with your sex custom.

[Fizbin]

08/15/2013 at 12:57 am

@Tap, I get the feeling that @Faust’s message was in very light spirit, not intended as an attack. In fact, I get the impression that when he comes back he will have a rather happy report on just what kinds of things were repressed in his wife’s pretty little head…

[Tap]

08/15/2013 at 1:57 am

Right I suppose. Hopefully he does get some lol.

[FaustsBoon]

08/15/2013 at 2:14 pm

Hey man…  No offensive intended.  I apologize if it came across that way.  The internet sucks for conveying tone.  We might be dramatically different people, with dramatically different ideas, beliefs, methods, etc… but I make every effort to show respect to anyone I meet, and you have my respect as such.

My wife is still home today so its tricky to get time to write at length… but yes, things went incredibly well, and I do have a very long, positive report to make in the next day or so.  😉

[Tap]

08/15/2013 at 11:42 pm

That’s cool. Sounds like you got some. Nice.

[FaustsBoon]

08/16/2013 at 2:08 pm

Ok… so finally, i’m able to update…  I’ve really been wanting to chime in, but as the wife has been around, finding extended time to do so has been really tricky.

So the last few days have been wild…  Really unusual, in all positive ways, but certainly wild.

On Tuesday, I found myself a touch bummed that Monday hadn’t yielded sex.  Not only was Monday a week since we’d last had sex (and I was hoping to at least find myself keeping up with once a week again, as a benchmark of small, but notable improvement), but my wife had continued to have insane volumes of sex dreams… was sensitive to my touches at night, and so on.  Well, Tuesday she came home, and just started giving me a handjob before bed… Didn’t ask, didn’t look intense or lusty, just settled in and started.  And the whole time, she was telling me how much she loves me, how lucky she is, and how happy she has been….  Right before falling asleep she also said she felt like our intimacy was really improving, in little ways…  Ok… 

She had more sex dreams, all seemed normal, etc…  And then Wednesday happened….

… I think aliens abducted and swapped out my wife, but I wasn’t about to complain.  She woke me up, by climbing on top of me, and we ended up having really loving, but pretty intense, sex twice in a row.  

We went out, were having an incredible day out, got a nice lunch, etc… and all day she was flirting with me, cuddling against me, and just being very very affectionate, and even occasionally frisky.  Before bed, we had sex two MORE times.  Each time she orgasmed, thanked me, cuddled with me, etc…

She then told me, she knew her period was approaching, and had been wanting to be with me, and knew she couldn’t afford to wait any longer.  My wife does not talk like that, and does not usually imply wanting sex at all.

Yesterday, no sex as her period did indeed start, but she continued to be highly, highly, affectionate, and even a bit flirty.  On a whim, I asked her for a blowjob, and she said she was exhausted, but would tomorrow (IE today), before she left for work this morning, but after we got dressed, I asked her, playfully, what happened to that, and when it hit her she was suddenly soooo apologetic.  Jokingly I said, oh she obviously meant to do it in the evening all along, she like-wise playfully agreed…. and i’m fairly positive it will be happening tonight.

If so, its my first blowjob in months….  sex was only two days off from being weekly (but I also got a random handjob), and when we did have sex, it was crazy frequent.  Nakedness and touching also continue.  In fact, I notice that while she’s sleeping, if I say, “touch me” and nothing else… she will always pick my penis and what she grabs/touches.  Left to her own sleeping mind, that is always now her choice.

So I feel like what happened was this.  My wife may indeed be more resistant then most to either subliminals, or she has a greater ability to deny her own sexual appetite.  Well, at some point, I think even the strongest mind just needs to relent.  She had been having sooo many sex-dreams for so long, and had soooooooo many repetitions of my Custom, and my Qwerty-Custom, that I think the dam finally broke.  I also think as hard as she resisted, her bodies response was the opposite, and why we had sooooooo much sex all at once, with her still being insatiable.

I could document more…  There were dozens of word choices, and tiny things which continue to highlight the broader tonal changes I have sensed.  She keeps saying she wants to do anything she can to make me happy, that I am her best friend, etc….  Affection, loving, lust, flirting, innuendo… are all much higher.

As I mentioned…  I’m doing the Tortoise v. Hare thing…  I know my progress (barring this big explosion of success) has been slower than my first run through of the program, but that is because I mean for it to really last/stick.  As such, I think it is going well.

Qwerty has been amazing at documentation, and between Trainer’s and Qwerty’s customs and methods, things continue to move in the right direction.  I still have three weeks before I should hit Qwerty’s next anticipated benchmark, and after the last few days, I now fully expect that to be possible (maybe even sooner).

Meanwhile, i’m also intrigued by and gladdened to see that my wife’s work-stress/exhaustion was indeed the culprit behind what seemed to be a semi-back-slide.  The moment that she had a chance to catch up on her sleep, she was immediately back to where she left off a few days prior, and based on events, even better in fact.

For now, I will continue with what it working.  While adding a general submissive-ness/happiness file probably has some potential value, I feel like I am slowly getting results I want/expect, and thus won’t change anything at present.  This means, Qwerty-Style custom arousal gets 2-3 hours per day, every day (with a couple days a week getting 4-5 hours), and my full night’s worth of my Trainer-Custom about love, sexual submission, comfort with sex, and oral sex desire.

If Qwerty’s methodology persists, and fewer variables exist between our wives, I should be at sex twice-weekly on average, within three weeks from tomorrow.  From there, the exponential curve continues (I hope!).

[Fizbin]

08/16/2013 at 9:47 pm

Congratulations! It sounded like you were having an amazing time, and I’m glad it was! May they keep on rollin’…

[FaustsBoon]

08/16/2013 at 10:39 pm

@Fizbin said:
Congratulations! It sounded like you were having an amazing time, and I’m glad it was! May they keep on rollin’…

Well, I sure hope so.  That said, i’m trying to take a breath, and be cool, as well.  The first time I originally saw some successes, I was my own worst enemy.  I assumed the behavior on one given day would ALWAYS be the way, and pushed too hard the second it wasn’t, as well as advancing goals too quickly.  

For now, i’ll enjoy seeing how it develops, and even if slowly, i’ll savor the positive changes.  If tonight doesn’t go my way, I have no intention of making the environment toxic, and ruining the likelihood that tomorrow could be exciting, etc… etc… etc…

[Fizbin]

08/17/2013 at 12:44 pm

Sounds like a plan! Patience is the song I’ve been singing since Day 1. I’m glad you’re now in the choir!

[FaustsBoon]

08/20/2013 at 2:53 pm

Just a quick update as the wife is home.  

Progress, of a sort continues.  While we’ve had no more sex since that blowjob on Friday, innuendos, flirting, etc… continues.  My wife has always been very “quiet” about sexuality, IE expressing her ideas about it, even discussing it at all.  The topic has always made her quiet…. quiet/timid in a way.  Well in the last week she tells me every time she hears a dirty joke at work, mishears something as sexual, hears a song about sex on her playlist while jogging, etc…

Sex is obviously on her mind, and often.  It is obviously just starting to break through though, into actual actions.

Last night, the wife had some bad stomach cramps and was a little sad.  I asked what was upsetting her, and she said she wanted to have sex, since her period ended, but felt to bad to do so.  Obviously despite not having sex, I took this as a very good sign, as she rarely, IE almost never says she outright wants to, had been flirting all day, and she was disappointed in not being able to.  All this, mind you, only two days removed from a BJ, and so on…

One last interesting note… at night, a few times I have noticed that if I touch her pussy, she’ll say, “I love you.”  Trainer’s custom script outright associates her arousal and sex, with feeling loved, and secure.  This seems to really be breaking through.  Hopefully a bunch of Qwerty’s custom is upcoming as well as I started it about two weeks later than Trainer’s.

Over-all… slow, but steady progress.

[tonguester4_69]

08/21/2013 at 4:33 am

I’m happy for you man!Hope things keep getting better for you.

[FaustsBoon]

08/21/2013 at 12:27 pm

Thanks for the warm wishes guys!

Another wonderful update.  After a nice day together, plenty of flirting, etc… the wife and I had sex last night, which included, without my asking for it, another really great blowjob.

I’ve gotta say…  That is pretty, freaking, crazy…

I haven’t had a blowjob from my wife in months… and in less than four days, i’ve had TWO, and that is in addition to sex going from once every three weeks, back to slightly more than once a week.

I don’t want to get overly excited, as i’ve had this kind of success once before (ironically, right at the beginning), but my greed mucked it up.  That said, it FINALLY feels like stuff is really beginning to work.

My scripts, Trainer’s Custom for me and Qwerty’s Custom, both have heavy arousal elements, and oral sex encouragement (and her wanting to do it).  It seems those things are finally showing up in very overt ways, as is (i’m guessing), my wife’s attitude toward sex in general where it makes her feel comfortable and loved, instead of tense.

Obviously, I aim to continue this exact playlist, as it is paying off.  I HOPE it still yields Qwerty-esque results of a wife who gets even more sex-centric/minded, and who initiates, etc…  Likewise, the domination stuff hasn’t really shown up yet.  Obviously sex is improving, but during it last night I tried a bit of giving orders, etc… which didn’t quite happen.  Her submission could stand to improve in the sexual realm, and all those elements are heavily affirmed in my scripts, so i’m hoping they just need more time.

Anyway, I wanted, as a personal goal-post, to be at twice weekly sex, within another three weeks.  I would say, with increasing confidence, that that is a given, and who knows where we’ll end up in another few weeks.  I can’t wait to find out though.  😉

I’m so trained to expect things in my life to take crappy turns, that even now, i’m again just praying this progress doesn’t go away.  I’ll definitely nurture it, though, and will make sure not to push too hard, or too fast.  I couldn’t stand it if I was the one to blame for messing up all this good i’m getting to experience.  🙂

[Fizbin]

08/21/2013 at 12:52 pm

Congratulations again!

I know we’re definitely looking at results from the current, sexuality-heavy, playlist, but do you think that you would be getting the same kind of success if you hadn’t first started with generic submission related material? Or do you think that was more of a dead end?

[FaustsBoon]

08/21/2013 at 2:02 pm

@Fizbin said:
Congratulations again!

 

I know we’re definitely looking at results from the current, sexuality-heavy, playlist, but do you think that you would be getting the same kind of success if you hadn’t first started with generic submission related material? Or do you think that was more of a dead end?

I think the “dead end” was my own impatience.

Unlike many here, I genuinely don’t think expecting dramatic results in thirty days is reasonable.  In the first 120-ish days of the program, I left no file playing for more than 30 days, and usually would swap something out within less time than that.

In my mind, razor focus is what this program needs.  If subliminals indeed work, they still need to be treated surgically.  You pick ONE area to work on, and using as much repetition as possible, with as much immersion as possible.  

Honestly, I suspect going for general happiness, general submission, etc… as I had been didn’t yield results, because my wife already tends to be submissive in most areas.  She has her faults, but she has always asked me what movie we would go see, where we were going for dinner, etc….  In a way, I might’ve been reinforcing behavior she always had, and maybe drew out a LITTLE more concern for my happiness, but most of that time wasn’t spent working on areas that would’ve manifested so overtly.

Our sex life was the one and most ailing part of our lives.  It is hard to tell if my wife was 10% more submissive, or 10% more aware of my happiness…. but I CERTAINLY could tell when she would start having NEW behaviors, like sex dreams or flirtation.

You ask in a new thread, if “go big” is the way to go…  I think the answer is, it is the only way to use subliminals in a way that you will decisively know they have worked, and yielded a change you would not have likely seen/had otherwise.

Also, if I was going a general submission route again… it would be my SOLE agenda.  I would have one or two meticulously crafted scripts, both at varying levels of “intensity” but about the same exact theme/goal.  I would play those constantly, or as constantly as I could.

If I wanted that submission to be a gateway to another behavior… I would still play the first agenda CONSTANTLY until it was an utterly true and normal part of every day life, and then I would completely change the script to again, single-mindedly focus on the new area, assuming the general submission to have stuck (and giving it much more than ample time to do so… IE… if the script has “worked” i’d still play it for months).

[FaustsBoon]

08/23/2013 at 12:38 pm

Update time:

Nothing terribly notable to report, but I did see a small, small backslide in the last couple days, and wanted to make sure I reported on it.

My wife is again on a run of early-early work-shifts, and very long days.  Much like the last time this happened, it seems to be accompanied by her sex-drive being dramatically reduced, even if the subliminals have seemingly re-awoken this part of her.

She is still being flirtier, makes more innuendos, and seems to have sex dreams, which still shows me that changes persist from before a month and a half ago when I relaunched my whole program with Qwerty’s help, but while exhausted it seems to stay at flirtation and innuendo.  I asked if she wanted to make love, and while being sweet (not judgemental or awkward) she said she wanted to, but was so tired.  She said maybe tomorrow (IE today), but we’ll see as her schedule is still shitty for one more day.

She does have a few off though, so I am cautiously hopeful that, like last time as well, things return to a positive trajectory tomorrow.

She has also been crabby, and last night was quite snippy when her phone stopped working.  It felt childlike, and very “temper tantrum”, so I am again chalking it up to her being so sleepy/exhausted.  She has not acted like that in some time.

In an effort to do something experimental, I have decided to tweak just a few lines in ONE of my scripts.  I am curious about how my day-silent (Qwerty’s raw arousal file), and night (Trainer custom about liking and feeling safe and loved during sex) are working, and where the balance is, in terms of which is having the deepest impact.  Right now the two are very similarly themed in terms of acts mentioned, etc… but their tone is dramatically different.  

As such, I am adding a small, but very specific desired outcome (my wife wanting/liking and keeping a shaven pussy), with a few repetitions to JUST my Qwerty-Silent-Custom.  I won’t even mention shaving to her, and just will let it play for curiosity sake.  I would normally be militantly against changing my program right now, but think that a few lines should be safe.

[Fizbin]

08/23/2013 at 10:09 pm

That sounds like a good change. I really don’t think you can fight exhaustion with subliminal reinforcement. That’s *my* wife’s other problem – way too much on her plate. I really want her to quit her job, and I have hinted around at that. I think she would like to, but she is still not convinced we can survive on my salary alone. Frankly, I’d very happily do without some of the “stuff” we’ve been up to if it meant she could de-stress a bit.

[Tap]

08/24/2013 at 12:34 am

As Fiz said, you can’t fight being tired. Since you like comparing your progress with Qwerty’s, I can see one key difference between yours and Qwerty’s wife. She only works part time so isn’t as tired to have sex. It’s a problem you’re always going to have.

I think it would help if you included the idea of sex in your marriage as a goal, a duty, a priority, very important, and a central part of your marriage. If you increase the importance of sex with you in her mind, she may have sex with you EVEN if she’s tired because it’s her duty. Any kind of sex is better than no sex right? I also think if you added something with your happiness in mind for her, it would help. Even Qwerty still uses the generic HH or SW in his playlist along with his sex only subliminals.

[FaustsBoon]

08/26/2013 at 12:22 pm

Well, reporting in after the full weekend, which we had off together…

I’m going to categorize the weekend as “maintained” progress.  I think that sometimes the surges of progress can be mis-read as the new, normal, pace of success, where-as it seems more like plateaus.  My wife, with proper sleep, stayed positive, sweet, and flirty, throughout the entire weekend.  Likewise, we did have sex, on Saturday, which was good, and she was extremely into it.  That said, I was the one who initiated, even if during the act she was notably more passionate with her kissing, etc… than I feel should would have been a couple months ago.

I tried my luck again last night, and she wasn’t interested, saying “maybe tomorrow”… which, to be fair, has gone from meaning “no”, to genuinely meaning that “maybe” means a possibility of it happening.

So, in terms of sex/intimacy it has been a slightly slower week.  We went from having sex a bunch on day, and two blowjobs during the span of the same seven days, to only having had sex the one time so far this “week” (with two days left to where i’ve been counting my weeks)

Progress is clear, versus two months ago, no doubt, and quality of our lives feels better all around.  The only area I am a touch down on, is that I would have guessed that my wife would be more inclined to initiate sex at this point, considering how all my scripts should, in theory, have her more aroused… essentially at all times.  And I don’t mean I expect more sex (I do… but in time… for now progress is good enough in this area), I specifically mean her offering/asking, etc… for sex.  For whatever reason those haven’t taken hold, and instead seem to manifest as flirting.

Nothing to report on the new affirmations either (clean shaven, ones), but it has only been two days, so I obviously didn’t expect anything there.

[limited1]

08/27/2013 at 4:25 pm

FB,

I haven’t commented lately because of my travel, but my hat is off to you and the progress that you have made…..keep the faith as things are headed in a positive direction again. As others have said it appears maybe your wife’s work schedule (being tired and stressed as a result), might be causing the wacky starts and stops that you are encountering. At least you are having starts and stops now as opposed to the the other alternative. 

[FaustsBoon]

08/27/2013 at 5:36 pm

Thanks all.

In speaking with others, i’m finding that surges with slight backslides, coupled with new plateaus, is a pretty normal response to subliminals, with the net gain, meaning over-all progress.

If anything, I really really have learned to be patient this time around, however.  And i’m human… I have days where I still really doubt all this… but on those days, I “fake it till I make it”…. and stay positive, so that the over-all vibe at home is still conducive to growth and so on.

Over-all, its still going.  My big take away, in the last few days is that my wife is slowly developing a dirtier mind.  She used to give me grief when I laid on innuendos too heavily… whereas now she makes them herself, and frequently sees dirty jokes/innuendos where there are none.  She also talks, much more often about trying to figure out how women think about their sexuality, and how being an empowered woman, according to women’s rights movements, has in a way repressed a woman’s ability to be into sex, to crave, and want a lot of sex… because they aren’t supposed to be like that.  Long time readers of this, and my previous journal know that this was always an area I suspected was a major conflict for my wife… and now I find out that internally she’s been wrestling with how to let herself think of herself as a modern woman, and yet give in (in a sense) to her lust, and wanting to be a more sexual being.  

I’m pretty sure my submission affirmations are finally wrestling her life-time of woman’s liberation craziness… and is winning.  🙂

So yeah… i’m not yet at blockbuster sexual awesome-sauce… but seven weeks in, i’m having considerably more sex, and my wife again seems to be right on the cusp of really moving forward again, and accepting more of the subliminal affirmations as her own decision/mind/thoughts, on all of this.

“A modern woman can be a slut.” was probably the best single line I snuck into my Qwerty subliminal script.  :-p

[Fizbin]

08/28/2013 at 12:29 am

FaustsBoon said 

“A modern woman can be a slut.” was probably the best single line I snuck into my Qwerty subliminal script.  :-p

ROFLMAO!! That’s probably the best line of the year!

[FaustsBoon]

08/28/2013 at 3:50 pm

Well hopefully the line pays off in the long run… 

For now, progress at least in terms of action has hit a little of a lull.  My wife hasn’t wanted, or agreed to sex in a few days now, which is a touch frustrating.  That said, last night she was moaning constantly, grinding her pussy against me, and was wet as hell the couple times I touched her.  I’m hoping her need trumps her conscious brain in the next day or so, as i’m getting antsy about even a perceived backslide.

[FaustsBoon]

08/28/2013 at 4:55 pm

Just thought i’d take a second to vent a little.  I know that the ideal place to do it is here, leaving me better able to keep the smile on my face, and positivity up while the wife is home, to help support these changes.  I know letting frustration show (especially when I can’t explain it to her) while she is around will just do the whole effort an injustice.

Anyway… i’m just in one of those funks where I am frustrated.  I definitely feel like small backslides really sting more than they should, because they appear after a surge of progress.  That surge is usually so pleasant, so well received, that we can’t help but want it to be the “new normal” and expect every day after to be as good, or better.

Well, the last four or five days have definitely been a backslide in terms of sex itself, if not attitude.  All the positive attitude changes, innuendo, flirtation, sex dreams… all of those persist… but the actionable outcomes have been MIA which makes it hard to feel amazing about the week in general thus far.

She has turned down sex three times in the last five days (I didn’t even ask on the other two). This is disconcerting, because of course we’ve been having sex once or twice a week for a couple weeks now, and this week we haven’t even once.  I know life has an ebb and flow too, but it just feels bad to ever reverse course.  

I’m of course stressing over the minutia of it all.  I’m looking for any reason progress could be stalled…  contenders are…

1. She has been tired from a few shitty work-schedule days again.

2. I added affirmations to my script, as reported (and wonder if her brain lost some sort of repetition momentum?)

3. Her whole family is flying in tomorrow, and she’s been worrying about how we can best keep them all happy and entertained, since she sees her extended family only once or twice a year at most.

I’d like to think it is a combination of all of those… because if it isn’t, it just means that the effectiveness of my scripts, or the program, hit a dip… and i’d hate to accept that truth.

I GUESS, i’m still on pace for the milestone I casually set for myself.  In 17 days, i’ll be at where I hoped sex would be twice weekly, consistently.  If I average out the amazing week I had, and this mediocre one, i’m at a little more than once a week, right now.

I know i’ve achieved great progress over-all in the last seven weeks or so, and I am technically on the pace I hoped for… it really just is the backslide effect taking a little wind out of my sails.  She hasn’t hit any bit, overt resistance walls, but I just REALLY feel her struggling internally.

Last night she obviously, as I wrote, had insane volumes of sex dreams… but this morning was acting aloof.  She told me later she had had really bad dreams, and didn’t want to talk about it.  Later still she made up some ridiculous nightmare that she claimed had upset her, but I don’t buy it, as it wasn’t something that should’ve prompted her weird mood.  She’s definitely fighting something within herself.  As I wrote yesterday, I think her biggest wall of resistance is internal, and is the battle currently taking place.  

Something about being a strong, educated, “empowered” woman, but also now wanting to be highly sexual, submissive, naughty, etc…. are fighting it out, and I guess the only thing I can do as it plays out is to keep the tracks rolling, and be patient.

[Tap]

08/29/2013 at 1:12 am

I think it’s that your wife is just tired. I’ve said it before, but I’ll reiterate here. I think in a lot of marriages, there is usually one partner that has a low desire or is LD. For most of our cases, our wives are the ones that are like that. Your subliminals are definitely turning her on, no doubt. However, I’ve always held that isn’t enough to seal the deal. Something is holding her back that is stronger than her desire to have sex.

An example I could think of is like vampires, and in the movie Twilight. Edward loves Bella but won’t have sex with her for fear of biting her and turning her into a vampire. The desire might be strong, but his not wanting to change her or hurt her is stronger. It’s the same with how he never really thirsted on other humans and just drank animal blood. The desire to drink blood was strong, but him and his family held it to be better “vampires.” Now I know vampires are fictional, but I’m trying to illustrate a point.

If you think about marriages where these LD women are still having sex, the question is why if she’s not too interested in sex. There are various reasons to explain this phenomena, but the main reasons are:

1. The man is alpha and she is beta so she follows what he wants.
2. She does it to please him and to keep him happy to stay married.
3. She sees it as a priority in her marriage for the marriage to exist.

My opinion is an LD woman doesn’t have to have sex if she doesn’t want to. This happens all the time in marriages. The man can’t get sex because she doesn’t want to do it. What can be done? It’s all over the internet on different discussion forums. I think with subliminals, all of the above can be fixed. Most of the affirmations can push her into being beta, which is being submissive. They can make it her aim to please you as does His happiness. However, I think the importance of #3 cannot be understated. If a woman sees sex as a duty that must be fulfilled in a marriage, even if she’s tired, lazy, doesn’t want sex, etc., she will give into sex if she cares about your marriage.

If she doesn’t care about your marriage, then you’re out of luck anyway. In my case, my wife hates sex. Of course during sex, she’s turned on and gets there multiple times. I put my affirmations in there about the importance of sex in marriage in my custom. I really saw the effects of that when on a night she was drunk, she told me she just has sex for our marriage and to keep me happy. That pretty much says it all.

[MasterSouthernStar]

08/31/2013 at 7:02 pm

FB;

          Don’t freak dude.  Just keep pedaling and you’ll get there.  Have faith.

          As far as your three options, it of course depends entirely upon the person.  But I know in MY experience, family is always the biggest hurdle.  First off family were the people who taught us the original set of “values” and if the new values are contrary to that, there is conflict when the family ( or their ideas) are imminently represented.  Day to day we don’t see family and can overcome the limitations and ideals we learned with them if we so desire.  When you’re standing there with them it’s pretty difficult to go directly against what the whole family believes – even if you’ve grown beyond that.  That applies when they’re present in your thoughts as well – which is why I say it may be family pressure.  It’s just my thoughts, but I know what I’ve seen.  Believe me MY girl was the queen of that silliness at first.  She’s better now, but there’s still one or two issues. We’ll get there though and in the meantime it’s tolerable.

         My suggestion for action for you is “hang on.”  This too shall pass.  Support any positives you see – and look hard for them.  But keep positive and happy.  When she comes back to your way, the fact that you were supportive and positive during her lapse will give her a better opinion of you.  Yes I know it’s really hard sometimes.  Believe me that’s one I REALLY know.  But hang in there.  Heck come on back and blow off steam whenever you need to.  But Mr Nice Guy now will get a lot more results later.

        That’s my opinion and worth every penny you paid for it!

MSS

[FaustsBoon]

09/02/2013 at 4:52 pm

Well, I wasn’t even here to see MSS’ post (thanks man), but his and Qwerty’s friendship, etc… helped me stay right, and that was the correct course of action.

The wife’s family visit actually seems to have helped, not hindered, me with some positive moves.

First of all, the meeting with three generations of her family went amazingly well.  Her grandmother, now in her 90’s, famously dislikes the men in the family, or spouses of her girls/grand-kids, etc…  She herself was in an abusive relationship, and it set a tone for three generations of those women to be not terribly fond of men in general…

Well… by the force of charisma, etc… alone… I managed to have them all absolutely loving me.  More special is that each thanked ME, saying my wife is happier than she has ever been in her life, healthier, etc… and that they all see how my loving and supporting her has changed her life.  They were wonderful, treated me like family, and reminded her to love and take care of me too, as I was a hell of a wonderful guy…

… of course, that night my wife and I had sex, and I could feel her working triple-time to make sure it was wonderful.

Amazingly, the next two days, flirtation stayed high, and on Sunday we had sex again, with her also giving me a pretty great blowjob to cap it off.  Needless to say, having sex twice in four days, after that really mediocre week, felt great, and helped me feel more positive again about all this effort.

More interestingly, some really nice side things happened…  On one day, the wife and I somehow got on the topic of how much better our love-life has been, and I told her how happy I was for us both, that she was relaxing more, and just letting herself have fun, and enjoy our sex-life, which she seemed positive about.

Then, and more interesting was that I might have seen my version of Qwerty’s wife saying, “I don’t come to bed often” despite doing so every night for weeks…

My wife, just randomly, when I was flirting with her, on Saturday, said something along the lines of, “Hey… go easy on me… we’ve had sex three times this week, and its kind of new for me to have this much sex….”  (She said it playfully mind you).  So, confused, I told her… “I love you, and i’m glad you’re opening up, and having fun… but we only had sex once this week.”   To that, she looked genuinely confused, and seemed to REALLY believe we’d had a lot of sex that week.  Jokingly, I told her, “Sweetheart… having sex in your dreams doesn’t count…”  :-p  That made her blush.

So she’s been slowly opening up to the idea of her wanting and liking the having more sex, which seems progress, and even on the two days she said she didn’t want to, her declining has been sooooo much less vigorous… like I almost feel as if I could push and she’d give in (not that, that is my way… but even her “no” is sounding more like, “no thank you…..but…”).  

After an amazing week, we hit a really mediocre one, but now again seem on pace for a really terrific one again.  I’ll keep it up, and all will hopefully continue to proceed in a positive way.  🙂

So, I do have one request of people here… does anyone have access to the “rain” file, that Trainer uses?  I’m having help adjusting a silent file turned into the rain kind, but we don’t have it anywhere.  

Meanwhile, all continues, unchanged.  Same files… same rotation…. same fingers crossed.

[MasterSouthernStar]

09/02/2013 at 7:24 pm

FB;

        You Da MAN!!  Great job!  Seems like your natural inclination worked out better than any advice we could have given.  And yes winning over the family is a great thing – I wish I’d thought of it!  I’m just tickled for you that it went so well.  Keep up the good work!

        And you’re welcomed of course.

MSS

[Qwerty]

09/02/2013 at 8:48 pm

Faust keep up the good work. Now with the “pressure” of her family’s blessing thing really should pick up. Way to be patient.

[FaustsBoon]

09/02/2013 at 11:34 pm

Thanks to you both.  🙂

Don’t give me too much credit guys…  I’m not anywhere near your success Qwerty… not yet… so I won’t claim this whole process has turned our lives 180′ and made our dreams come true.  I’ve been less patient than most, but hopefully just willing to admit my failings, air my frustrations… and generally just be “real”, during the entire thing.

Hopefully progress does continue.  Even at this rate, i’m content to see it evolving, and i’m hoping the next couple months are incredible.  For you, Qwerty… it was about six weeks from now where your love-life just became bonkers, nightly, and snowballed even from there.  You’re still my inspiration though, and what i’m shooting for!

[FaustsBoon]

09/05/2013 at 5:38 pm

Update time:

So, yesterday was interesting, and i’d say moderate progress continues.  Certainly attitudes are changing, which, in turn, are slowly changing actions… but no surprise there, as I think that is the entire point of how subliminals work.

Two days ago, after some fun, and flirting had continued, and after a conversation with Qwerty, I wanted to find a gentle way to see how the submission side of my scripts are working.  I have been so focused on observing my wife’s increasing interest in sex, that I haven’t really tried to see what else was happening.  

I im’d her at work, and said that since we’ve both been enjoying sex so much more recently, that I think she she be brave, and help me try something to keep things fresh.  I told her to respond “yes” or “no” and nothing else, if she was up for trying a mystery encounter that night, where I had slightly kinkier play in mind.

She, not shockingly, did not respond at all, and claimed her phone died thus not letting her respond… plus she came home feeling nausea and genuinely seemed less than happy.  She was cuddling up to me for comfort, etc… and generally acting the way she does when she legitimately doesn’t feel well… fair enough.

The next day, yesterday, when we woke up, I asked her to jerk me off.  She said, “now or tonight?” to which I simply said, “now… so I can focus that much more when we’re making love tonight.”  It was rough domination, but more casual assertiveness, talking about things like it was already agreed upon.  She said ok, and gave me the handjob.

At night, she came home, climbed on me, and said she didn’t want to disappoint me, but she felt super exhausted.  She said she knew I wanted something special, but she just wasn’t up for it.  Mind you, my wife NEVER worries about my being disappointed sexually, and certainly never apologizes.  It meant no sex, but the attitude had value, so I was ok with it.  

I could feel her sort of… submissive air, hanging there though, so I tried something.  I simply told her that was ok, but that I would compromise.  I told her tonight we would have sex instead, and IF as it is incoming, her cycle started, I still expected her to take care of me any way I asked.  She agreed, and in fact promised she would… so tonight should be an interesting test.

IF, we have sex tonight, it will have been the third time we had sex, plus one handjob, in the span of eight days.  That… is pretty crazy.  Read this journal back, guys… Two months ago I was digging my way out of a stretch where we had sex once, or MAYBE twice, in a month, for two months straight.  

We have literally had more sex in eight days than we did in those two months combined…  I have also had three blowjobs this month, up from NONE in the two months prior.

Both oral, and desire for sex in general, make up 85% of my scripts… so I think that is pretty telling.

There is obviously a long way to go before reaching Qwerty levels of success.  I still can’t believe that in three months he turned his wife into a ravenous sexual being, who needs it daily… and is willing to even begin dabbling in other areas.  I still definitely want to achieve that before shifting my goals to more kink oriented fun.  If my wife lets loose, and revels in and enjoys sex, I just know everything else will be gravy.

So, I am entertaining a small change to my program, but am willing to hear people’s thoughts first.  I certainly don’t want to LOSE progress, and in fact want to cement it, and see it grow.  Now that success is increasingly I know the prudent thing is to do nothing for a nice LONG stretch, to let it take deep roots.  IF I change however, the extent of my change is this…

I am running Trainer’s file all night.  This is the one about my wife loving sex, thinking about sex often, and feeling loved and safe during sex with me.  It has some small sections on submission and oral, but is generally very loving and thoughtful, and meant to arouse her and increase her enjoyment as a route to wanting more sex.  This track has 65 affirmations, and is the only thing playing all night long (and has for two months as of Saturday).  It is obviously working, even if not every behavior has manifested (it has sections on asking for sex when she wants it, or begging for sex when she needs it…. none of these behaviors have shown at all).

During the day, I play Qwerty’s custom arousal file.  That one is crude, and really plays up her lust with urgency.  It makes her, in theory, more single-minded needing sex constantly, being completely submissive, wanting to be kinky/dirty for me, and has a tone of desperate want/need for sex.  That file, on most days gets maybe an hour, to two hours at MOST of play.  On days off it might get six to eight hours, but that is one or two out of seven days per week.  As such she has heard it far less often, which is why I don’t doubt that it has had less impact on her behavior.

I’ve been thinking of reversing the two…

If I do, Trainer’s file is still present, so I shouldn’t “lose” progress.  I’d think hearing it, even for that hour a day, keeps it in her mind, and if she is already thinking that way, maintains those ideas.  Likewise, it “advances” the behavior I would want from her, with the more intense file now playing MUCH more often.  She will already be familiar with the affirmations, having heard them at least for a bit of the day, every day, for seven weeks now.

What do you guys think?  Do I go “big” and try that, or be cautious, and just keep the slow, measured path until it is 100% locked down?

[FaustsBoon]

09/07/2013 at 9:02 pm

Wow… really dead forums.  Usually some kind of conversation is going on…  :-p

So, a brief further update.  We did not in fact have sex that night, but my wife was incredibly apologetic and in fact seems increasingly upset when she feels like she has disappointed me.  She was very affectionate though.

The next day we woke up and she gave me another handjob, at my request… but this time I had her laying next to be, still nude, from the night as she did so.  I told her to talk dirty as she was getting into it, and she started telling me to cum all over her…  This was an amazing turn on, and again, is unlike my wife, pre-subliminals.  She had also been having sex all night and was clear excited.

During the day she was very flirty, and made a lot of innuendos.  Seemingly emboldened I actually showed her a sex toy I thought we should try (she never uses toys despite having a few fun ones).  Surprisingly, she said sheepishly, “Can I admit something…  I actually had one of those once…” and proceeded to talk about it.

I was amazed.  Its the first time she’s acknowledged ANY kinks (and I KNOW she has had them but works hard to bury them and stay quiet).  I actually told her I wasn’t weirded out by loved hearing it.  I wanted to encourage her knowing they aren’t bad, and that I love her sharing that side.  She then said she never does that stuff with me because for the first time in her life, during sex, she feels she doesn’t need to do fancy things for it to be special, and that “sex with you makes me feel safe, and loved…”   WORD FOR WORD from my script, and not her usual speech pattern.

It was great, and I told her she never HAD to do anything and of course I love her.  I told her, however, that we could enjoy both sides together though, not just one or the other.

She said she knew and is making an effort to try to relax and try newer things with me.  Tonight, for example, she said maybe I could pick a toy out for us to include.  A small step, as kink goes… but a step, and more progress.

She is thinking about sex more, opening up to it more, etc…. stuff is happening and it feels like momentum is actually increasing as change continues.  Fingers very crossed.

Still curious about others thoughts on the flipping of my play-list schedule.  Is now the time to emphasis the stuff that was secondary and really use the momentum, or is not the time to absolutely not change even a small thing like file times of day, when they are working?

Thing is the changes continue to be mostly from Trainer’s script which makes sense as she probably hears it five times as often or more.  I attribute Qwerty’s file for kicking off the changes and giving momentum, but now i’d like to see those specific behaviors more.

[MasterSouthernStar]

09/07/2013 at 10:00 pm

FB;

               Congrats on the further progress.  Sounds like you’re moving right along.

               As regards completely switching the play rotation….  Would you be open to a suggestion?  How about not swapping them – but alternating them every night?  That way Trainer’s file is still getting plenty of reps and the opportunity for lapse is minimized, but it also increases the exposure of the Qwerty inspired file.  That would put them on equal footing, giving you a good chance to compare effect between the two.

              For the day time file, I’d just play whichever one seemed to need reinforcing the most – or the one from which the most recent lapse has come.  It’s much less exposure but it’s playtime reflects its position as a reinforcement exposure rather than a training exposure.  It just seems to make sense to me.

              Looking forward to hearing what you decide to implement.

MSS

[FaustsBoon]

09/07/2013 at 10:42 pm

Well, I know from everything i’ve read elsewhere, and from really extensively reading every post on this forum and the one from years ago which predates it… that consistency is key.  Some suggested that even missing a few days of listening to a script can be bad initially.  As such, I don’t think i’d swap them around on an alternating basis.  I’d be much more inclined to, if I could match up the rain files, have both working all night TOGETHER, but that isn’t an option just now.  I do appreciate the thoughts though.

At Qwerty’s request (he’s my rock… man… he’s a great support helping to keep me grounded), I am at the least keeping this play-list as is for another week.  Things are going well and i’m still creating good behaviors that I want to see last.  In the short run, greed might make me want to change things up, but in the long term progress is progress…

I’ll definitely make a measured response when I do change stuff up though.  If I shift Trainer’s file to the day “slot” it’ll still always see between one and five hours of daily play (one hour on work days, and conceivably, up to eight really on days off).  As such i’d like to think these now familiar thoughts won’t need as much work to be reminded of.  That said, an extra month of it in “prime time” can’t hurt either.

On the flip-side, I like the idea that when the Qwerty file becomes the dominant one, it will also be vaguely familiar.  The affirmations will have been things she has heard a fair bit already, for months… even in reduced capacity.

My current plan is to switch in my new Qwerty file into the day-time slot.  I say, “new” but he and I have reworked the script, but only a little.  I’ve actually removed about 25 affirmations, and added ten new ones, making in a leaner, more focused, 65 affirmation track, all with a clear theme… constant arousal, constant need for sex, and kink, and constant thinking of sex.  PERIOD.  She is already feeling loved and safe during sex, and has outright said as much… now she needs to let herself be ok with wanting it, and letting herself give in to that desire.  I’ve loved the emotional, flirtatious, innuendo-laden increases in sexuality and such in our lives (and increased sex itself mind you…), but my hope is that the words translated into actions really still increase.

That all said… Qwerty’s journal here (which has been invaluable for my own notes, comparisons), etc… really takes a very rolling-snowball sort of course.  Things start slowly… they improve a little…. then moderately…. then quicker still…. then quickly…. then shockingly.  It SEEMS, knock on wood, that i’d seeing the same.  It took FOREVER to show the first results… then little things would pop up here and there… soon it was “am I seeing this, or just wanting to see it?”, to “yep, something’s going on.”  Even a couple weeks ago we were hitting little plateaus where I wasn’t sure if we would get to sex twice in a week, and maintaining that… where-as now we’re even casually talking about sex-toys, and getting kinky wake-up handjobs, in addition to, so far… largely maintaining sex itself twice a week.

But again, I say this as much to help others as to see it written down.  At first the hardest part felt like waiting to see any results at all, and it taking weeks…  now it seems like the hardest part is seeing things move faster, and yet having the slow-down myself, so I don’t push too hard, or allow my greed to create a problem.  I’ve learned there will ALWAYS be a new hardest part… and in my case, being measured and dealing with it, means writing it down before I make ANY hasty decisions.  :-p

[Fizbin]

09/08/2013 at 3:09 am

Congratulations! Sorry to have been offline, but I had a personal crisis to deal with. I don’t have an issue with gradual changes to the program, though at this point we’re not really sure whether the day file is sinking in at all, so a swap might not actually be as “gradual” as it appears. More thoughts maybe later.

[FaustsBoon]

09/08/2013 at 5:36 pm

@Fizbin said:
Congratulations! Sorry to have been offline, but I had a personal crisis to deal with. I don’t have an issue with gradual changes to the program, though at this point we’re not really sure whether the day file is sinking in at all, so a swap might not actually be as “gradual” as it appears. More thoughts maybe later.

Hope all is well man.  I’m so sorry to hear of any crisis at all, and I hope everyone is alright?

Meanwhile, I am locking down my revised custom to include just a bit regarding how stress and sex should interact.  I’m hoping to help the wife see stress as an opportunity to release stress, rather than use stress as an all emcompassing excuse to veto sex.  Last night really hit me with just how inclined to ruin sex-drive, stress has been.  My wife’s two biggest hurdles… PERIOD… have been her insecurities/former abuse, and how it has made her turtle-up her desires around sex, and the stress she always carries and even sometimes creates over her silly job.  The two, in equal measure are the biggest wall, and while we’re knocking down one slowly but surely, a bad day at work can still, with 100% certainty, kill any hopes for a fun or intimate night.

As for my wife hearing the day-time file.  I’m sure she hears it… its just a matter of repetitions.  I feel like days where she is hope all day and gets a spike of six-eight hours of it… she responds more sexually/intensely as one might expect.  I just think the remainder of days when it gets one or two hours of use… well isn’t enough to create lasting changes in thinking or behavior.

I don’t know… there isn’t really a more half-measure way to proceed right now, that I can think of.

[FaustsBoon]

09/09/2013 at 4:54 pm

Just a small update… but a fun one to report…

Last night, before bed, my wife turned half of the lights off in our bedroom, and when I asked what she was doing, she said, “Making love to my husband…”

She then mounted me, and we began having sex.  It was pretty vanilla for a bit, but then she started kissing me HARD, and shifting her weight.  Before long she was in some CRAZY Kama-Sutra weird ass position with her feet above my head.

I said this, only because it is NOT my wife’s M.O. to try anything wildly new, and certainly not without my asking outright.  I can only think that maybe she has been getting her exposure to Qwerty’s file all along, despite it getting easily, one-third the play-time of her other main file.  Either way… it was pretty freaking cool.  😉

I’m definitely going to go with my, “hold your horses… don’t change anything…” option for another week or so before reevaluating, as progress is still happening, albeit slowly.  

[Qwerty]

09/09/2013 at 9:56 pm

Congrats on the success with your wife. I know getting you wife to initiate sex has been a frustrating goal for you that has been just out of reach, or at least it seemed so. Hopefully this is a desire she will continue with and grow upon.

[Fizbin]

09/12/2013 at 7:37 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

@Fizbin said:
Congratulations! Sorry to have been offline, but I had a personal crisis to deal with. I don’t have an issue with gradual changes to the program, though at this point we’re not really sure whether the day file is sinking in at all, so a swap might not actually be as “gradual” as it appears. More thoughts maybe later.

Hope all is well man.  I’m so sorry to hear of any crisis at all, and I hope everyone is alright?
 
  
  

It was just me and a matter of saying adios to my appendix. Feeling much better now. 

[FaustsBoon]

09/13/2013 at 3:43 pm

@Fizbin said:

@FaustsBoon said:

@Fizbin said:
Congratulations! Sorry to have been offline, but I had a personal crisis to deal with. I don’t have an issue with gradual changes to the program, though at this point we’re not really sure whether the day file is sinking in at all, so a swap might not actually be as “gradual” as it appears. More thoughts maybe later.

Hope all is well man.  I’m so sorry to hear of any crisis at all, and I hope everyone is alright?
 
  
  

It was just me and a matter of saying adios to my appendix. Feeling much better now. 

I’m glad you’re alright.  Its easy to laugh it off now, but we all know appendix issues can be serious.  Welcome back to wellness, though.  🙂

Update time…

Since my last report, and our really fun…. flexible bit of sex, i’ve received one kinda phoned in handjob (given with a… you’re incorrigible, smirk), but last night proved a touch more interesting…

Its her time of the month so I didn’t expect anything, and yet during the day somehow, in jest we got on the topic of blowjobs and she bet me I couldn’t last more than ten minutes if she was doing it with the sole intention of getting me off.  We kept making it the running joke all day, and had a playful competitive way of teasing each other, etc… so before we went to bed, I told her to… ahem…. put her money where her mouth is.  :-p

 

She has NEVER blown me like that in her life.  I mean, she was a machine, and it was extremely dirty on her part… lots of deep throat, etc…  it was great.

 

I won the bet incidentally.  :-p

 

The whole time though she was just being wild, and I starting telling her how dirty she was being, etc… and the more I talked to her like that the more she went at it.  I don’t know if it was her spirit of competition, or her letting herself act “slutty”… but either way…. damn.

 

She then had sex dreams all night…

 

There are still plenty of occasions where I feel like i’m getting shot-down more often than i’d like or suspect, but to think this is the same women who tried to be utterly controlling of our sex, who would maybe have sex twice a month, and who would go months upon months without entertaining the idea of a BJ, makes me feel good about where we are going.

 

I have switching the newest modified Qwerty silent with my older Qwerty custom… which is 85% the same or so.  My thought is, before swapping it into the prime-time longest-listening slot, i’d like to acclimate her to the changes in affirmations.  In about a week I will split time in some manner or other with my Trainer-custom night/rain file, and try to slowly transition them, even if they are thematically, and even in specific wording, very similar in most regards.

 

 

[J66R]

09/13/2013 at 7:05 pm

Two thumbs up dude!

Great to hear the success! I so wish I could get me wife to really go after it like she was really trying to finish the job completely!

But then I have to admit the clear success I have had.

Before I started this she had Frigidaire stamped on her forehead, I swear. Her attitude about sex was that it would happen 1 – 2 time a month (if I pushed really HARD and begged and told her how awful and unfair it was), was plain vanilla missionary, ho-hum, roll her eyes in the middle of it, no BJ and “ain’t no way, never gonna finish in her mouth” if she did condescend to wet me down a little about once a year, and then there was this strange habit of waiting until she knew I was about to orgasm and then somehow it would pop into her mind to mention either her mother or my mother nekkid. Trust me it really blows the mood and ruins the end result.

Now she tells me the first day she’s safe, tells me the last day she’s safe, actually offers the backdoor when she’s not safe, I’m pretty much guaranteed at least 1 -2 BJs a week and there is no question that I will finish in her mouth every time, without fail. But there is little to no enthusiasm for the events, and usually a very pronounced and visible pause before beginning (especially BJs) where she acts like she has to really gear up the will to go through with it. Plus there is always the “let’s get this over with” nonchalance about her attitude.

I understand that most of you who are getting these great results, or at least these super intense bursts of result that seem to get better and more frequent, have gone through this, so I thank you for sharing your stories.

It really encourages me to think that this is a stage that the wife will eventually get through and that there is more and better in the future.

So please keep giving out the details on your scripts and combos and theories as well as the detailed results. We need to keep up the pseudo-scientific experimentation here to see about replication of results.

I myself am now contemplating pooling some of my old posts into a new gold forum topic and continuing to describe what I have done and the results. I have a particular event where I tried something that was pretty darn near disastrous, but the HUGE effect it had, the speed, intensity, the quick recovery and the change in the aftermath convince me I am onto something, but I just do not know how to structure or control it or am missing some key understanding or knowledge but clearly it did something powerful.

When I do that I’m hoping some of you guys will have some insight.

Any ways, keep up the reports, they help all of us who have seemed to reach certain plateaus.

[Qwerty]

09/13/2013 at 7:34 pm

J66r,
I was just wondering how things were going for you. Glad to hear you are see progress. Can’t wait to see the scripts you have been using and hear about the mistake that could be a breakthrough. Please post them as the more information we share the better all of our results will be.

[FaustsBoon]

09/14/2013 at 8:52 pm

J66r… above all, know we’re here to help.  Qwerty and I joining forces was a huge part of helping me pick and maintain a course.  He would stop me when he knew I was losing focus, or getting too ambitious, and I would do the same for him.  The support structure is a big deal, and you’re welcome to be a part of it.

I think our little clique is about wanting the best for our wives, our marriages, and ourselves, and the key tennets have been patience, laser focus on one goal at a time, etc…  Also, Qwerty has proven a wizard of techniques, as it pertains to figuring our certain levels which seem to work well, as well as an idea of using crude language selectively to really ramp up desire.  Couple that with my EFFORT to adhering to scientific-method, and I think we’ve done ok at trying something, documenting exactly what we saw, etc…

And mind you…. its always a journey.  I’m a world ahead of where I was… but still huge leaps away from where Qwerty already is… etc…  These things REALLY take time… more than people here might have you believe.  I’m increasingly sure that when you here someone talk about 30-days this or that…. its bunk.  Prepare to really settle in…. but the results WILL be worth it.  🙂

[J66R]

09/15/2013 at 6:06 pm

No doubt about that Faust. It is a long haul. And I, like many, was very encouraged by the initial results. I still am convinced I am far beyond what I would be had I not stumbled upon this site.

I had had some good results years ago with embedding subliminal msgs into pop songs my wife liked to listen to during sex. Being that the sex rarely happened the effects were small but tangible. I had taken some of her favorite “love songs” from her teen years and recorded another track on a volume just below audibility. The messages were about wanting sex more often, having oral sex and backdoor sex when she was not safe. For some reason, she accepted backdoor sex, but reluctantly, during her fertile periods, but the same msgs relating to oral never took. Neither did the idea of asking me for or if I wanted sex and frequency was still in the “I can count them on one hand and still have a majority of fingers left over” range each month. Good grief this was within the first 10 years of marriage when I was still something to look at and was getting a minimum of one offer a week from women outside my marriage.

 Though my original success had been encouraging it was also frustrating. Up until the time I found this site, I could literally also count the number of time she performed a moment of oral in our entire marriage on one hand. You can see the change from my previous posts, and she does seem happier and treats everyone in the family better and nicer. She’s paying attention to household duties, house, garden etc., laundry, much better as well.

This is why I do not give up. The farther she goes and the more she gives in to the suggestions, the more I think she sees herself becoming what she always wanted to be (and what she told me she wants to be), a good wife, mother and homemaker. And I think that makes her happy. I just get frustrated as to why the female mind has to be…I don’t know…coerced into doing what it claims it wants to do. They hold on so tight to the very attitudes and beliefs that they themselves admit prevent them from realizing the life they want. What I wouldn’t give for her to just be happy. This stuff seems to be getting her closer to it but she just won’t let go. I’m sure hoping I can get to the point you and qwerty are getting to eventually.

Anyway, I appreciate the support you guys have been and will be and will try to get my stuff organized so I can tell you about what I tried.

[FaustsBoon]

09/15/2013 at 6:52 pm

@J66R said:
No doubt about that Faust. It is a long haul. And I, like many, was very encouraged by the initial results. I still am convinced I am far beyond what I would be had I not stumbled upon this site.

 

I had had some good results years ago with embedding subliminal msgs into pop songs my wife liked to listen to during sex. Being that the sex rarely happened the effects were small but tangible. I had taken some of her favorite “love songs” from her teen years and recorded another track on a volume just below audibility. The messages were about wanting sex more often, having oral sex and backdoor sex when she was not safe. For some reason, she accepted backdoor sex, but reluctantly, during her fertile periods, but the same msgs relating to oral never took. Neither did the idea of asking me for or if I wanted sex and frequency was still in the “I can count them on one hand and still have a majority of fingers left over” range each month. Good grief this was within the first 10 years of marriage when I was still something to look at and was getting a minimum of one offer a week from women outside my marriage.

 

 Though my original success had been encouraging it was also frustrating. Up until the time I found this site, I could literally also count the number of time she performed a moment of oral in our entire marriage on one hand. You can see the change from my previous posts, and she does seem happier and treats everyone in the family better and nicer. She’s paying attention to household duties, house, garden etc., laundry, much better as well.

 

This is why I do not give up. The farther she goes and the more she gives in to the suggestions, the more I think she sees herself becoming what she always wanted to be (and what she told me she wants to be), a good wife, mother and homemaker. And I think that makes her happy. I just get frustrated as to why the female mind has to be…I don’t know…coerced into doing what it claims it wants to do. They hold on so tight to the very attitudes and beliefs that they themselves admit prevent them from realizing the life they want. What I wouldn’t give for her to just be happy. This stuff seems to be getting her closer to it but she just won’t let go. I’m sure hoping I can get to the point you and qwerty are getting to eventually.

 

Anyway, I appreciate the support you guys have been and will be and will try to get my stuff organized so I can tell you about what I tried.

Well, as to who to blame for the female mind being a mess of complications…?  I’d say its the say “society on the whole” force that turns Americans into increasingly mindless consumers, etc…  There are just movements of culture on the whole that seem to drive the human animal in some weird directions.  Female empowerment… for instance, seems to have caused as much harm as it has good.  Like most things, it was well-intentioned and great on paper…. not so much so in practice.  

And like most things, I would also say the select few ruined stuff for everyone.  For every selfish abusive husband that drove women to wanting greater empowerment, i’m sure hundreds of decent guys got put under the foot of a femin-azi at some point during their lives.

In essence… its just the way things are.

Luckily, with patience, solidarity, team-work, good science, etc…  we have found a way to slowly make a little corner of our lives, a little happier.

Keep at it man…. and like I said, try being extremely focused and patient… oh, and don’t over-think things.  I feel like one of my worst mistakes was over-thinking how to reinforce every little change, etc…  Just keep an eye out for the genuinely out of character behaviors, and if they’re ones you like… really show appreciation for them, reward them, whatever…. the rest sort of just works out.

And yes… I do believe, slowly, in time, the process does snowball.  I feel like the first changes can seem to take forever… but their frequency/strength, etc… does seem to speed up.

[FaustsBoon]

09/15/2013 at 7:38 pm

Update time… or lack there-of…

I don’t want anyone getting the impression that this process is a steam-roller, and just instantly works, even when progress is being made.

For the last few days since my wife’s Olympian blowjob effort… she hasn’t really shown much interest.  She has been on her cycle though.  All the while, there is still periodic flirting and innuendo, as well as a few stray moments where she has shared something she “read” about American ideals regarding porn, etc…  She still seems to find moments to bring up sex in ways which for her must seem very cautious/safe.

Sex dreams continued here and there as well.

I did ask for another bj last night, and she told me if I could wait till tonight she should be able to have sex again.  When I said, why not both… she laughed and said I was being selfish (in a playful way)… the point is, I took it as her sort of unintentionally showing she wanted sex as well, even if she doesn’t quite have the nerve to outright ask yet.

Any little bobbles that happen in the next few days… week… etc… might be a result of my file change.  As I said, I swapped out Qwerty’s silent, with a newer, more intense/directed one.  I’ve also mixed a rain version of the same file into night rotation.  In essence, the playlist is themed the same, in all the same areas, but is more “intense” and ramps up her focus from liking sex, to essentially craving/needing it more urgently.  We’ll see what happens.

I will TRY posting this new script in Gold… but knowing its weird censorship non-sense, I can’t guarantee it will post.  :-p

[FaustsBoon]

09/19/2013 at 6:53 pm

Hello?  Anyone here?

Feels like a ghost town… The forum reports not one new post in four days…

Anyway… very, very, little to report.  As can be expected, any change in file seems to come with a hitting of the breaks of progress.  The last few days have been decent enough, maybe with a hint of backslide.  The new script which is increasingly the bulk of her play-time is Qwerty’s arousal one, modified with extra focus on sexual submission, and her desire to be a kinkier, dirtier, girl in general.  She had one day of bad attitude, something I hadn’t really seen for a few months, coupled with a few days where she seemed somewhat submission and extra inclined to tell me how much she loves and appreciates me.  

I’ll chalk it all up to her brain getting its first taste of new affirmations, coupled with hearing the old ones at a greatly increased repetition.

I’m REALLY hoping this works as intended.  Obviously file changes and backslide days are always terrifying, but it has only been one week as of tonight, so I know I have to allow for some changes to appear before the message and her response to it starts shaking out.

Still makes it a little stressful though…  I’m really wondering how her brain will respond to the term “slut” and an embracing of it… as several affirmations have her wanting to be “Mark’s submissive slut” and being happy in that role.

[Fizbin]

09/20/2013 at 1:42 am

It sounds like your results are at least self-consistent – a slight “pause” (for lack of a better term) when you shift your program. I’m still working on an updated “mega” script to record, debating if I want to go whole-hog into the explicit sexual elements.

I didn’t see your updated script get posted yet. Are you having the same troubles as before?

[Fizbin]

09/20/2013 at 1:48 am

@FaustsBoon said:
Hello?  Anyone here?
 
Feels like a ghost town… The forum reports not one new post in four days…
 
  
  

I’ve seen updates, but now they’re gone. I also noticed some site changes in the login modes over the last few days. My guess is that an old database got restored and wiped the posts.

[trainer81]

09/20/2013 at 2:49 am

Yes I’m aware of the issue from a few days ago.  This forum has some kind of feature for clearing posts but long story short I spent all day, today reading up on the issue.  It’s now turned off so no worries about loosing future posts, I didn’t know you guys posted at that time so I didn’t write a blog update.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may of caused anyone.  However this new forum is a lot better than the one we had before.

For the login, I upgraded that feature but it wasn’t working so I restored the old model.  Just trying to perfect the site so as long as this long function works will be keeping it.

 

All good as this forum and Dream Girls is still in beta

Trainer81

[FaustsBoon]

09/20/2013 at 12:31 pm

@Fizbin said:
It sounds like your results are at least self-consistent – a slight “pause” (for lack of a better term) when you shift your program. I’m still working on an updated “mega” script to record, debating if I want to go whole-hog into the explicit sexual elements.

 

I didn’t see your updated script get posted yet. Are you having the same troubles as before?

Same issues.  The censorship will drop out anything too explicit… which is ironic considering much of our subject matter.  :-p

As for your mega-script…  well, my thought is that you need to either go all-in, or don’t.  If sexuality is the area you’re focused on you need to be solely focused on it, and surrounding themes (submission, making you happy, etc…)

Put it this way, i’ve single-mindedly been working on sex, as a theme, for three months now.  Seriously, we’re nearing 12 weeks of customs (only altered once at the ten week mark).  Even so, i’ve seen improvements, surely, but nothing close to what Qwerty experienced, etc…  If a single-minded focus, and three months can only be modestly successful, then I am loathe to think what a more diverse set of changes would (or wouldn’t) yield.

[FaustsBoon]

09/20/2013 at 2:07 pm

I’m adding a small update, because I felt it prudent.  I was just emailing Qwerty, and had an epiphany I thought I should share here for journal-sake…

Wow…. the memory is a funny thing.  I was SURE I was at Qwerty’s “twelve week” mark, in about a week…  I wasn’t sure though so I went to check an old forum post…  I wrote this on August 7th…

 

This means that, if all works completely parallel (which is unlikely, as every human takes to subliminals different… but for sake of argument…)

 

– In five weeks, sex should be at approximately two-times-per-week, with her initiating sometimes

 

– In nine weeks, sex should be nearly daily, with her initiating often

 

– In twelve weeks, ravenous, sex-crazed wife.

 

Again, it is unreasonable to expect 1:1 results, but for fun, and as a data-point, i’m leaving this here.  IF results continue to line up, however, i’ll definitely post that once-mentioned “best practices” guide based on my copious notes and final observations.

 

Man..  Its been SIX weeks since I wrote that… meaning i’m actually right on track.  I said I would be at “sex twice a week” within five weeks, and i’m only one week removed from that, with essentially that result (close enough that I won’t read into it).

That’s pretty amazing, and the moment of clarity I feel like I needed.  Fingers crossed that it means i’m still doing the right things, and that the science is shaking out as desired/hoped for.

Of course, seeing that I was perfectly on pace with what I was doing…. i’m wondering if I changed things up when I shouldn’t have.  Thing is, Qwerty’s custom is now 90% or more of her daily subliminal listening.  Hopefully I don’t lose anything special in minimizing Trainer’s custom so completely.

Well… fingers crossed, right?  I can always go back to the old pattern in a month if i’ve genuinely messed anything up.

[Tap]

09/21/2013 at 12:16 am

FB,

I’ll add my two cents in. I’d say you have made much progress in 3 months with regards to sex. However, 3 months is a long time to be exposed to subliminals and I feel there’s a certain plateau that hits after awhile, where you won’t see continuing great strides but a more evened out progress. That is, after 3 months of the same files playing, what you’re getting now is probably what you’re going to get. I don’t think you’ve quite matched Qwerty’s success as he has.

Qwerty’s wife is just a different person from your wife with different beliefs and thoughts. Apparently, even Qwerty’s success has evened out a bit with him getting sex every other day now instead of daily. To me that’s still really great as apparently she’s into all kind of stuff now vs before.

My opinion is that subliminals can only take you so far, and the rest is up to the individual to use other methods that might help improve the sex situation.

Also, I think an important point has to be made about how certain files are made and the responses to those files. There are some schools of thought that say a sledgehammer with different voices speaking over each other is not the best way for a subliminal. The thinking is that the subconscious will not clearly hear what is said. If you’re curious how it really sounds, download the video of Trainer showing how to make a sledgehammer. The wav file is just a whole bunch of voices talking together pretty much with clear statements heard here and there. If your conscious can’t decipher the messages clearly, then when it is turned into a silent, it’s easy to question whether the subconscious will do a better job at deciphering the message. At least with one voice that is clearly heard consciously, you make it easier on the subconscious to understand it. I’m not sure if that’s entirely true and maybe it depends from person to person. I know Qwerty makes sledgehammers in a special way changing the tone of voice of Anna and such, and I’m assuming these are the the types of files you’re using. Maybe your wife might respond better to single voiced files. Just some thoughts to ponder…

[MasterSouthernStar]

09/21/2013 at 6:22 pm

Tap;

              Very interesting concept to me.  I believe I’ve mentioned here before that my girl is profoundly “hearing impaired”.  Living with her has brought me a level of understanding of hearing that most folks never get.  In fact comprehension is radically different from hearing.  Not that the subject doesn’t understand the language or anything, but sometimes the auditory impulse is received but is not relayed to the auditory centers of the brain in a recognizable form.  This means sometimes its necessary to try to decipher what you’ve heard.  That takes time – and while that’s going on – no further listening takes place. My experience with many people talking at once has yielded very similar result.  I want to hear everything and try to listen to it all – only generating frustration when I can’t.  Hearing things clearly (all the way to the brain) is essential to internalizing the message.

              Because of that, having several voices talking over each other might actually be counterproductive.  Conscious comprehension is challenged and frustration can escalate.  This can ( and in my experience does) lead to frustration and stress, in my girl’s case often followed by behaviour influenced by those things.  Believe me that’s not good.

             This may explain why the sledgehammer I used didn’t really seem to take hold.  I was unaware that the voices were “on top” of one another.  Honestly the idea of listening to a bunch of voices on top of one another seems pretty unpleasant.  I hope it works for some people, but it seems terribly stressful to me.  While there may be a “subliminal”   characteristic at play here of which I am ignorant,  it just seems way counter-intuitive to me.

MSS

[Tap]

09/21/2013 at 9:18 pm

MSS,

It is something to think about. Almost all the subliminal websites sell single voiced subliminals and talk about how the voice should speak like a child and slowly when talking to the subconscious. This website is the only one I’ve seen that has the multiple voices talking over each other in a sledgehammer format. Having said that, I’ve tried the HH sledgehammer and seem to have had ok results, so I’m not entirely sure. However, Trainer places 5 seconds in between some phrases and his scripts are short. If you think about the different speeds at which he puts the voices, sometimes you’ll hear clearly “I am submissive” or so forth so it’s plausible these short times where the affirmations are clearly heard by the subconscious, is what causes the changes.

My preference is just to stick to what has worked for other subliminal websites and that’s just once voice talking slowly and clearly to the subconscious as if that was her own inner voice. If your sledgehammer didn’t take hold, perhaps try one where the voice talks slower at -6 like Trainer has for Amy’s voice, which is what I do, and just have one voice talk.

http://www.sprudio.net/dream-girls-faq-rules.html

“Is it fine to listen to two or more different subliminals at the same time? For instance, could I listen to a weight loss subliminal then the perfect complextion, then the stop anxiety afterwards? Or do you suggest listenining to one subliminal until the desired results are achieved before moving on to the next one? What about listening to 2 or more subliminals that are closely related at the same time – for example the lose weight, stick to diet, and stop craving carbs one after the other?

A: You can listen two or more subliminal in the same day but NOT in the same time. If you are in a room and two or three people speak at once you will understand no one.

In the same day one after another it is ok as long as are related and not more then three a day. Try to not bombard your brain with too much information. Our brain has a defense system, like the computer. When too much information is collected in cache or cookies you need to clean the browser and the cache so the system will not be slow. Our brain uses the same system. “

[FaustsBoon]

09/23/2013 at 12:48 pm

Thanks for the thoughts guys.  Tap, obviously we have some very different views and approaches, but I always appreciate the input.  Every bit of information we collect, good or bad, will shake out over time, but having all kinds of ideas can only be good for smart, discriminating consumers.

Update Time:

Great successes this weekend all around.  All the normal behaviors have been around again, the flirting, heavier innuendo, etc…  

Saturday, I woke up to a very, generous and kinky handjob… lots of dirty talk, my wife asking me to cum on her, a little rough play with my pulling her hair (which had her moaning up a storm of kissing me intensely).

That night, we also had sex… nothing fancy, but again, for her these are rare new sights.  Even while dating and our love-life was more pronounced, new, exciting… we would not have sex twice, at different times of the same day.  Its happened a couple times over the last month or so, and when it has, the wife has usually seemed really engaged and to be letting her defenses down.

We had a great weekend otherwise, and I will say, I am seeing the first things from the new file starting to peek out.  She has been much more expressive about her sexuality these last couple days, suggesting that an idea, or such makes her excited.  She’s been making “jokes” about something she wants getting her “wet”, which she never EVER would have said prior.

Likewise, she has been quite submissive in general, with a bend towards the sexual.  Emboldened by how far we’ve come, and frankly because we’ve been so much happier, i’ve taken to, even in a light and pleasant way, leading her.  I don’t ask if we can have sex… per se… but during the day (like Saturday), just say something like, “When we make love later, i’m totally going to X….” or what have you.  This “peaceful dominance” is much more my style, and “feels” right.  The behavior along with the new file seems to be off to a decent start.  She’s definitely more receptive all the time, and things are happening once again.

I don’t doubt that had I not changed my playlist I would have continued progress, though perhaps more slowly.  I’m not in a rush, and am making changes that we’ll enjoy for decades to come as a couple.  That said, the new file has seemed to jump-start the process a bit again, which was its intention.

[FaustsBoon]

09/23/2013 at 1:12 pm

Just a tiny addition to the above post which I forgot, but was reminded of in reading Tap’s journal…

Like his wife, mine also says and does slightly different things.  All weekend when I would be a little more assertive about sex, she would, in a playful way, always say, “You get what I give you…”  or “I’m in charge…” like she feels compelled to exert some kind of control (which you know is her defense mechanism, from reading this).

It was always playful, but it was as if she had to say/suggest it.  Every time I made sure to, again, pleasantly, shut her down, reminding her that that is not how it was going to work in this house…

And of course, her actual behavior was absolutely submissive thoughout the weekend.

[limited1]

09/23/2013 at 3:07 pm

@FaustsBoon said:
Thanks for the thoughts guys.  Tap, obviously we have some very different views and approaches, but I always appreciate the input.  Every bit of information we collect, good or bad, will shake out over time, but having all kinds of ideas can only be good for smart, discriminating consumers.

 

Update Time:

 

Great successes this weekend all around.  All the normal behaviors have been around again, the flirting, heavier innuendo, etc…  

 

Saturday, I woke up to a very, generous and kinky handjob… lots of dirty talk, my wife asking me to cum on her, a little rough play with my pulling her hair (which had her moaning up a storm of kissing me intensely).

 

That night, we also had sex… nothing fancy, but again, for her these are rare new sights.  Even while dating and our love-life was more pronounced, new, exciting… we would not have sex twice, at different times of the same day.  Its happened a couple times over the last month or so, and when it has, the wife has usually seemed really engaged and to be letting her defenses down.

 

We had a great weekend otherwise, and I will say, I am seeing the first things from the new file starting to peek out.  She has been much more expressive about her sexuality these last couple days, suggesting that an idea, or such makes her excited.  She’s been making “jokes” about something she wants getting her “wet”, which she never EVER would have said prior.

 

Likewise, she has been quite submissive in general, with a bend towards the sexual.  Emboldened by how far we’ve come, and frankly because we’ve been so much happier, i’ve taken to, even in a light and pleasant way, leading her.  I don’t ask if we can have sex… per se… but during the day (like Saturday), just say something like, “When we make love later, i’m totally going to X….” or what have you.  This “peaceful dominance” is much more my style, and “feels” right.  The behavior along with the new file seems to be off to a decent start.  She’s definitely more receptive all the time, and things are happening once again.

 

I don’t doubt that had I not changed my playlist I would have continued progress, though perhaps more slowly.  I’m not in a rush, and am making changes that we’ll enjoy for decades to come as a couple.  That said, the new file has seemed to jump-start the process a bit again, which was its intention.

 

FB- Congrats on the success……I might have missed it somewhere, but can you post the new scripts that you are using?. Appreciate it.

[Qwerty]

09/23/2013 at 3:21 pm

Congrats Faust. Glad to see you are getting positive results from your new file.

[FaustsBoon]

09/23/2013 at 4:45 pm

I’d LOVE to post it, Limited… but this forum still sucks ass, and censors the exact kinds of things you would expect get posted here.  :-p

If you message me an email address, privately, i’ll happily send it to you though.  🙂

@Qwerty… Thanks man.  It is more to your credit than mine if this all works as you’re responsible for it.  🙂  Every success now just increasingly confirms that your techniques have become the best ones… period… if others want to give you the credit due, or not.

[limited1]

09/24/2013 at 2:19 pm

@FaustsBoon said:
I’d LOVE to post it, Limited… but this forum still sucks ass, and censors the exact kinds of things you would expect get posted here.  :-p

 

If you message me an email address, privately, i’ll happily send it to you though.  🙂

 

@Qwerty… Thanks man.  It is more to your credit than mine if this all works as you’re responsible for it.  🙂  Every success now just increasingly confirms that your techniques have become the best ones… period… if others want to give you the credit due, or not.

FB- I appreciate your offer of emailing the scripts…..I thought there was a way one could contact you on this site, but I’m not seeing it now…..What am I missing?

[FaustsBoon]

09/24/2013 at 4:38 pm

@limited1 said:

@FaustsBoon said:
I’d LOVE to post it, Limited… but this forum still sucks ass, and censors the exact kinds of things you would expect get posted here.  :-p
 
If you message me an email address, privately, i’ll happily send it to you though.  🙂
 
@Qwerty… Thanks man.  It is more to your credit than mine if this all works as you’re responsible for it.  🙂  Every success now just increasingly confirms that your techniques have become the best ones… period… if others want to give you the credit due, or not.

 

FB- I appreciate your offer of emailing the scripts…..I thought there was a way one could contact you on this site, but I’m not seeing it now…..What am I missing?

You’re missing that these forums suck, and features are added/dropped periodically.  Try @gmailing me, and see how that goes…  We’ll figure it out.  

Anyway, no update for a day or so here… the wife has a UTI and told me sex wasn’t likely while she had discomfort.  She seemed curiously apologetic though, which I took as a good sign.

I’m really hoping this newer focus in her main script really help ramps up her “urgency” in needing sex, and her accepting sex as a want/need and as something that its ok to express and give in to.  Promising signs though, thus far.

[Fizbin]

09/24/2013 at 8:15 pm

You could always “radio-ize” it like we did before…

[FaustsBoon]

09/26/2013 at 4:59 pm

Update:

So last night was pretty wonderful.  I had been tense, and stressed from some home renovations, issues helping my elderly parents, etc… and had been saying as much all day.  At night, my wife came home from work so very concerned with how I was feeling, and wanting to be supportive and comforting.  Then, while watching some TV before bed, she just… all at once, without my saying a word… slipped under the covers and began blowing me.  She was REALLY working it, and even finished with a swallow which she hasn’t done lately…

 

Lets check off some boxes…  Initiated sex?  Yep.  Hardcore blowjob?  Yes.  Swallowed and thanked me after?  Yup.  

 

All of those from my script?  Indeed.  And she seemed to really enjoy how naughty and spontaneous she was being.

 

My new file is definitely looking as if it has begun to take hold, and again push her towards being kinkier, and more engaged.

 

From my journals, you know how unlike her that is, and likewise know initiating, especially something a little kinky like that, is huge, and totally unlike pre-subliminals wife!

 

Likewise, and this one is an odd point…  I’ve noticed my wife has been trimming/slightly shaving her pubic hair.  This hasn’t been in my scripts for a long time, and even then was only in briefly.  It was a goal I gave up on for the time, in my effort to become really focused.  Interestingly, last night I complimented my wife on her shaven area, and she said I was crazy and that she wasn’t doing anything differently….. um…. yeah right.  It is clearly shaved (I can feel where stubble is growing in), and its half the size of the unwieldy mess she used to keep.

 

All in all, I feel the intense/crude approach is working.  I genuinely believe the intensity of the message, ramped up over time, pays dividends.  As this process also isn’t instantaneous… far far from…. it does seem to boost the speed with which messages are received.

 

Either way… ever so slowly, the wife seems to be coming into enjoying her naughty side, and realizing its been liberating, reduces stress in the house for us both, and the benefits of being happier, etc… just extend to every facet of our life.  

[Qwerty]

09/26/2013 at 10:41 pm

Congrats Faust. Definitely seems that your wife is on the move again to a new level of sexual openness and need. Keep looking for those subtle signs too as they can indicate where next you can expect further breakthroughs.

[Fizbin]

09/27/2013 at 12:57 am

Congratulations again! I am definitely using your results as inspiration for my next attempt at a custom. I’m actually not looking to turn my wife into a nymphomaniac, but I have a lot more hope of getting her to initiate contact…

[limited1]

09/27/2013 at 2:15 pm

Wow, that is great news for you, and I hope this is the new trend and it continues.  I appreciate the feedback you provide and this is great inspiration for the rest of us that aren’t where you (Qwerty also) are at !

[FaustsBoon]

09/27/2013 at 6:06 pm

Thanks guys.  I appreciate the kind words.  Keep in mind, I still have more “neutral” days as anything, and as many days feel like slight backslides, as they do forward surges.  The net progress has always been forward movement though, and for that, i’m thankful.  Trainer’s work brought all of us here, but again, I have to thank Qwerty as his techniques and core ideas have created the biggest advances for me.  Trainer needs to pay him, and bring him on board…. seriously.  :-p

 

As for making the wife a nympho… well, here’s the thing.  I think this subliminals don’t lead to such extreme outcomes.  I think shooting for the sun, and reaching the moon, is the idea.  I feel like hyper bold scripts, like any other, might only yield 50% results…. but 50% of a tepid script is mediocre…. 50% of an insanely bold script… well that might be the ACTUAL level one was hoping for.  🙂

 

 

My night was surprisingly decent.  It wasnt OMG magical.., but more than I expected or hoped for.  I definitely made some advances when my wife got home.  She was being sweet, and cuddly, but also tired and withdrawn.  She reassured me she was happy and well, but just felt drained and a little apathetic.  She thanked me for offering to give her oral as a thanks for the night before, but said she didn’t need anything.  I asked if she felt like doing a little something for me, and she said, “Well.. it probably won’t be as amazing as last night (IE the surprise BJ), but of course i’ll take care of you.”  

 

She then mounted me, nude (she’s almost always nude while in our bedroom now), and jerked me off all over her (very different than her half-assed hand-jobs when she’s just trying to get me done… and she’s half-watching TV while doing it).

 

This morning she has been strangely submissive, and very sweet, just about falling all over herself to have breakfast ready for me, etc…  Its been nice.

 

She also said, last night that she wanted to make love, but just kinda felt unlike herself… but she wanted to be together “soon”.  We’ll see how tonight goes.  :-p

[FaustsBoon]

09/28/2013 at 5:03 pm

Last night was interesting for two, minor reasons… One my wife was very affectionate, but turned down my casual advances. I wasn’t particularly forward as we’d been intimate in one way or another for two days in a row, and I frankly don’t expect miracles… That said, she outright told me we would be having sex tomorrow (today), however, and encouraged me to look forward to it. This is pretty notable, because even if it isn’t very spontaneous, it does largely fall into the “wife initiates” category which has, as i’ve said, always been a block for her. I consider that a good bit of progress, and telling, as she definitely thinks about, and wants sex more…. I feel we’d be having even more still, but she still seems to be over-thinking, and holding back as if she is wrestling with her old views against being too sexual. That said, the tide is turning, and more and more often, she’s letting the desire for sex win out.

Second, and related, was another instance of a VERY interesting behavior. My wife said last night that we’d had sex three nights in a row, and so she was going to take that night to rest. I told her we hadn’t actually had intercourse since Saturday, which shocked her. She was SURE we’d had sex on Tuesday as well. Telling her, I could see her confusion, and also see that she was thinking about it, and looked as if she wanted to have sex upon discovering it had been longer than she thought.

That is the THIRD time, in two weeks, where she has genuinely thought we were having much more sex than we are. I jokingly played it off as her dreams being vivid, and how much I would like for it to be more often. In every case, she seemed… surprised, and almost disappointed to find out it had been longer than she thought. Any thoughts on what this means? Is it more desire/urgency bubbling up to the surface? Something else?

[tonguester4_69]

09/29/2013 at 12:40 pm

I don’t know if it means anything as far as the time thing. My wife does that all the time.Just last week she swore and I think genuinely believed it had only been a day since we had been together when it had been four.As always, just my opinion.

[FaustsBoon]

09/30/2013 at 4:59 pm

Update: Saturday night was great. Wife came home, and I immediately had her get on top of me, where we cuddled, and she told me about her day. From there, without asking, without saying anything, we just segued into making love. It was great, involved more acts than usual (just more touching, some oral, etc…. we really took our time). She seemed quite into it.

I was pleasantly surprised, as it capped off four days where I had that amazing surprise BJ, a very sensual HJ, and then that encounter… with only a day skipped in between. Its nice, and i’ll try to remember that if we hit another drought. Thing is, our “droughts” are now days, versus the weeks they lasted mere months ago.

Its hard to classify acts, but i’d say we’re definitely having sexual acts, or encounters, even if not intercourse, per se, about three times a week. That is all without needing to insist, make demands, or be a jerk… It just IS. She’s definitely enjoying sex more, and is SLOWLY letting down her guard/reservations about loving her sex life, and letting herself want/crave it.

Things slowly continue in the right direction.

[limited1]

10/01/2013 at 8:37 pm

That’s good news. Glad it’s continuing in the direction that you want and are happy with.

[FaustsBoon]

10/02/2013 at 7:04 pm

Super short update as i’ve been very busy, but wanted to leave a few words.

Yesterday the wife woke me up with a pleasant hand-job, and with a little prompting proceeded to talk dirty to me. She’s not at a point where this happens spontaneously, but it is becoming so much easier to get her to go there, or be sexual. What used to feel like a wrestling match, now feels like a casual request that’ll tend to go my way 80% of the time.

Sex, or something sexual has averaged every other day, or more this week. It happens to feel like a “good” week, and that isn’t the norm yet, but the fact that it even can occur makes me very happy.

Hopefully tonight will be a good one as the wife and I both said we hoped to set some time aside for eachother this evening.

[Qwerty]

10/02/2013 at 7:10 pm

Faust great to hear the progress is still continuing. It definitely sounds like you have broken through that plateau you mentioned a week or so ago. Keep up the good work.

[FaustsBoon]

10/02/2013 at 8:37 pm

I wouldn’t say that quite yet. Previously, plateaus have lasted a while, but the change afterward was very pronounced. This feels more like a smoothing out of some rough edges. I still don’t feel we’re regularly have intercourse twice a week. It tends to be intercourse once, MAYBE twice, but with greater willingness to do other things to keep me happy in between. So, over-all, its not far removed from that plateau yet. The attitudes are changing though, which I feel comes before a bigger change.

Also, general submission has been really high. For some reason she’s taken to calling me “angel” despite being not religious in the least… She calls me that all the time now. Likewise she gives me no grief for any financial decisions, and has been letting me lead in all things, 99% of the time.

[Fizbin]

10/02/2013 at 10:48 pm

While it may be a plateau, it certainly sounds like a happy place! Congratulations!

[FaustsBoon]

10/03/2013 at 4:50 pm

So, beyond the morning handjob treat two days ago, the wife wasn’t up for sex again that night.  Yesterday, however, she came home after we’d both had a good, but fairly stressful day.  She’s definitely increasingly associating relaxation with sex though, as she mentioned wishing she had the energy to be intimate together.

 

I told her, after my stressful day, I would have definitely been up for something a little kinky and wild.  She asked me what specifically I would’ve wanted for stress relief.  I, thinking sex was off for the night said, “Well, I think it would be fun if you gave me a crazy deep-throat blowjob while using sex toys on yourself… and well, we’d take it from there…”  She actually responded, “Ok, we’ll do that tomorrow…”  I looked at her, and said…. “but…?”  to which she responded, “No, but…  We’ll do that tomorrow.”  She was very matter of fact about it.

 

She then said if I was stressed she would take care of me, and gave me a very tender handjob again.  

 

During the evening she also said that our upcoming anniversary gifts would include lingerie fun.

 

All of those things, especially after a run of days where we’ve been sexual, playful, etc… were amazing.  My wife really is changing.  I think sometimes I don’t see it due to how gradually it has happened, but she doesn’t even resembled herself anymore in terms of her frigid ways, and our largely crap sex-life, from mere months ago.

[Fizbin]

10/04/2013 at 12:34 am

Yes, very different! Congratulations, and keep it up!

[Fizbin]

10/09/2013 at 10:31 pm

I presume the reason you haven’t posted in a while is that your wife hasn’t let you come up for air in almost a week… I hope you’re well, and having a good time!

[FaustsBoon]

10/12/2013 at 5:46 pm

@Fizbin said:
I presume the reason you haven’t posted in a while is that your wife hasn’t let you come up for air in almost a week… I hope you’re well, and having a good time!

I wish!

No, we hit a weird dry patch.  We had a tough week, which saw her start her period, a bit of disinterest, a couple stressfully busy days, and then I got sick.  The sum total result was that while we had really good sex once, the rest of the week was the Sahara.  

Things seem to be sorting out, so i’m hoping I can turn the tone back to where it was, which was great, and getting better each day.

[Fizbin]

10/13/2013 at 10:12 am

Sorry to hear that. I hope you’re feeling better. Understand about timing.

I went back and looked at your first few messages in this thread, and compared it to your most recent status report. It sounds like you’ve actually hit most, if not all, of your benchmarks!

[Tap]

10/13/2013 at 3:49 pm

FB,

Reading your journal, you’ve seemed to have had great success recently. Now that things seem to be coming to a general routine, perhaps you can think about talking to her and introducing the idea of an expectation of how much sex you would want in your marriage. You can say something like I expect that we have sex at least 3 times a week. That way, if it’s more it’s great, but you expect as much. Then, if she’s on her period, she can satisfy you till you finish in some way and that counts as one of the three.

If both of you are on the same page with that, she knows what you expect and theoretically will try to fulfill that as an obligation in your marriage. I’ve done this with my wife and watch it closely so that my expectations get met. If it’s toward the end of the week and it’s only been once or twice, I’ll let her know it’s going to happen today and she agrees because she knows what the expectation is. If you get your wife “trained” like that, then at least you can expect the minimum requirement to be met weekly.

[FaustsBoon]

10/13/2013 at 4:27 pm

@Tap1 said:
FB,

Reading your journal, you’ve seemed to have had great success recently. Now that things seem to be coming to a general routine, perhaps you can think about talking to her and introducing the idea of an expectation of how much sex you would want in your marriage. You can say something like I expect that we have sex at least 3 times a week. That way, if it’s more it’s great, but you expect as much. Then, if she’s on her period, she can satisfy you till you finish in some way and that counts as one of the three.

If both of you are on the same page with that, she knows what you expect and theoretically will try to fulfill that as an obligation in your marriage. I’ve done this with my wife and watch it closely so that my expectations get met. If it’s toward the end of the week and it’s only been once or twice, I’ll let her know it’s going to happen today and she agrees because she knows what the expectation is. If you get your wife “trained” like that, then at least you can expect the minimum requirement to be met weekly.

So, your first lines actually REALLY nail the situation.  I think too much DID become routine.  We got lazy.  I stopped being sexually assertive, because we got busy, I got sick, etc….  As such I think it slightly contributed to the lapse.

Last night I made sure to talk to her about how far we’ve come, and how impressed I am, but also said we still had a way to go before I would feel like we were at a place where I was really content, satisfied.  I outright told her I still wanted to increase how often we had sex, and also wanted her to increase her spontaneous initiation of sex.  She promised she would keep working on it.

She also, of her own volition helped me plan for our anniversary, and herself added that we should stop somewhere for lingerie so we could pick out something cute for her to wear for me.  😉  I was glad to hear it.

I also pointed out that last week we both slipped in terms of making it a point to stay engaged, etc… and she said tonight she’d take care of me as I wanted, and that we’d make it a point to keep busy in a good way, this week.

Fingers crossed…  All in all is really does seem to just have been a small hitch, and easily righted, but we’ll see.  🙂

[Qwerty]

10/14/2013 at 2:16 am

Great to hear you had good bounce back and that your wife happily submitted to you requests.

[FaustsBoon]

10/17/2013 at 4:02 pm

Things have been improving here once again, albeit coming just a bit back to center (or maybe a little better).  We’re still recovering from the bad/disinterested week we had, but in the last three days she has given me two handjobs and a blowjob, despite being exhausted from work.  The BJ was at my request, and she was not enthusiastic at all, but also did it without complaints.  She’s definitely willing more often, though I really do wish I had that missing piece where she just wanted it a lot more.  I want her to be as excited as possible for our mutual enjoyment.  She’s taken to seeming happy to make me happy, or feel good, but stops short of letting herself take maximum pleasure for herself as well.  My wife comes across as loving and sweetly wanting me to be content… but does not seem to also know that she is allowed, and in fact encouraged to love it and want it for herself too.

 

A change in script might be due.  I don’t know why, but the parts of my script where she feels she has to, or wants to do these things seems to have taken… but the message she took away is that she is happy doing it FOR me, and not with me.  Its like she knows it is important and worth doing, but needs a reinforcement that it makes her feel wonderful, and she should be ok with craving and desiring it.

[trainer81]

10/17/2013 at 4:53 pm

How about something that will make her happy?  Like, What make’s my Husband happy, make’s me happy.  I want to make my husband happy, Serving my Husband make’s me happy.

I enjoy hand jobs.

I enjoy the taste of cum.

Try to come up with something that will make her happy   Right now I believe the subconscious is struggling which is fighting her need to be happy.

Good luck,

Trainer81

[FaustsBoon]

10/17/2013 at 6:59 pm

Trust me… my scripts are full of those comments.  I’m not sure where the gap is, in fact.

I’ll be trying a small script change, trimming 10 lines, and adding the same focused on how proud she is of our improving sex-life, and how happy our love-life makes her.  Very pure and simple in message.  We’ll see what it does, and it won’t constitute a big script change, which i’m trying to avoid for another month or two, as otherwise things are proceeding well, and we are generally happy and content all around.

[cms]

10/18/2013 at 11:38 am

Sounds like a plan to me.  Obviously no expert here,  but it does seem to me that if you can get her to feel good and proud of what she does, there will be more of that action.  Serving you by itself is one thing.  But if great pride and joy come from serving you, service will abound! 

Curiosity.  How does she typically express her love for you naturally? Is she more the words type person,  acts of service, gifts, etc? Someone mentioned “the 5 love languages” in one of these threads.  My thoughts are that if you hone in on her natural love language and both use it yourself around her AND stroke it in the subs, there stands to be a profound impact! 

[FaustsBoon]

10/22/2013 at 6:57 pm

So… I never intend for this journal to only chronicle positive changes, as it benefits no one, and as such I have to report the weirdest of behaviors…

A night or two back, my wife had a weird evening of complete regression.  Unprompted, for one night she was literally her old self from early this year.  She suddenly didn’t want me in charge of our sex-life, didn’t like how much energy we were putting into it, and the old turd of hers, she wanted to take control again…

I told her absolutely not.  This time I told her plainly that we tried it, and it was miserable.  I was never less happy in our love-life, and she proved that given a chance to be in charge she wouldn’t life up to any of her promises, and that it would be another dismal failure.

Oddly enough, rather than fight back, she just got really quiet and introspective.  Since, she has been exceedingly submissive.  Qwerty suggests that she was breaking through a barrier, and as such tried exerting all her old control issue behaviors… only this time, all it took was me talking plainly to her to absolutely shut down her weird, selfish behavior.

Hard as it is to see it in a positive way, there are positive implications I suppose.

[cms]

10/22/2013 at 8:08 pm

OMG!? Really! ?! That is spectacular! I know from the inside it might be difficult to see this as a good thing, but here let me try to rephrase and see what you think. 

For the past bit,  your wife has been consciously and subconsciously submitting her control to you.  Somewhere in the back of her mind there was resentment for loss of control and possibly she saw this as loss of self.  Finally, these thoughts culminated in what you just experienced.  Call it a rebellion if you will. You explained to her how it was working and how miserable you had been the old way.  She took this information and readjusted her behavior yet again. Assuming that she is not just passing a game here, it looks to me that she assimilated this “New” knowledge of how you used feel and settled on a better way – a way that pleases you.  This seems to be a conscious decision to truly be the wife you want and need her to be. I’d continue doing what you’re doing and be sure to reinforce good behavior. Multiple and/or sustained orgasms is likely a great start! 

All in all, it sounds like progress to me! 

[Fizbin]

10/22/2013 at 8:37 pm

All I would add to what cms said would be a clarification query – since the act-out, does she seem as happy in her submission as she had in the past, or is it more of a “resigned to it” attitude? Or better, does she seem possibly even happier than before because you were strong and consistent – effectively passing her “test” of your resolve?

[cms]

10/22/2013 at 9:04 pm

@Fizbin said:
All I would add to what cms said would be a clarification query – since the act-out, does she seem as happy in her submission as she had in the past, or is it more of a “resigned to it” attitude? Or better, does she seem possibly even happier than before because you were strong and consistent – effectively passing her “test” of your resolve?

I wish I could +1 a post!  Excellent clarification, Fizbin!  Differentiating between these would make all the difference in the world!  Thanks for the catch. 

[FaustsBoon]

10/23/2013 at 1:58 pm

Well, an awkwardness continues, so I don’t know how to clarify per se.  She left me in a really foul mood, but I have apologized too often in our life together, for even remotely speaking my piece, etc…  So for another day she was on eggshells around me, and acting very quiet/introspective, but not angry.  This morning, just in the hour before she left for work, she just turned mad, walking out the door with barely a goodbye.  Mind you, nothing in my behavior changed to warrant a shift from quiet to mad.  I’ve simply been acting a little aloof, intentionally, as she is in the wrong with her behavior the last couple days and I legitimately believe she needs to apologize for acting in a childish way (in a few areas)

The problem is compounded because whereas I am, for the health of our home and long-term relationship, ready to put my foot down and really confront her about a few of her bad behaviors which are cropping up to the detriment of everyone’s happiness, we also have our anniversary Sunday, which is filled with plans for a nice day out, a show, etc…  In essence, my every impulse is that she should be punished, but here I will be rewarding her bad behavior.

[Qwerty]

10/23/2013 at 2:38 pm

Faust,
In one of the older forums there was a post about during an argument you taking responsibility for her bad behavior. If I remember correctly it when something like you t urning to her and you saying something like you are sorry you voicing of expectation caused her bad behavior and you will do better at expressing your expectation more often so that they do not catch her of guard and cause her to have such bad behavior. Others,who have been hear longer than I can confirm the exact wording but the idea is that you validate your expectation, you take responsibility for her actions then reconfirm your expectation. By “apologizing” you disarm her and by you taking “responsibility” for her actions you reaffirm yourself as the dominant and her as the submissive.

[Fizbin]

10/23/2013 at 3:28 pm

I like the idea of taking responsibility, while leaving her accountable for her actions themselves. What I would suggest also is to “clarify” to her that while putting her “in charge” of the sex life hasn’t worked, reemphasize that you are certainly open to incorporating any ideas she might have, and that you want your life together to be mutually enjoyable.

[FaustsBoon]

10/23/2013 at 3:33 pm

Well, a new dimension just appeared, which was here having a weird mini melt-down on Facebook, and then leaving me messages about my giving her the cold-shoulder, and how somehow she is taking that as my giving up on her?

Its weird…  I assume this is some wild insecurity thing showing up, because I have always, always, in our life, made it abundantly clear that I would never leave her, that I love her, and that together we’ll over-come anything.  

For her to suddenly have a fit about my being a LITTLE BIT angry, somehow equating to her fearing I will leave her, is just so strange.  I mean, I know you guys aren’t here to see this, but trust me, its a disproportionate response to my being the tiniest bit aloof.

Qwerty, didn’t you wife randomly have an epic cry about wanting to make sure she makes you happy, or some-such, at one point earlier on?  I vaguely recall.

[Qwerty]

10/23/2013 at 3:43 pm

Yes Faust my wife did have a mini meltdown a while back. She told me all I wanted was sex I used the above technique of apologizing for not making my expectation for sex clear but that she has know for awhile that I have wanted more sex and that I will do better at expressing my expectation, then about a week later she came to me with her sex everyday idea. It seemed to me that it was her last effort to wrestle control back but by disarming her with an apology she was able to accept her new thought.

[Fizbin]

10/23/2013 at 3:46 pm

-This sounds like someone (don’t know who) is not understanding the other. This might be a flowers and chocolate moment. Not to say that you (or she) was wrong, but to make sure she knows what you just said – you love her and have no plan to leave her under any conditions. Make clear to her that you absolutely want her to be as happy in your relationship as you have been these last several months, and that it was only the idea of her being “in charge” of the sex life that you felt was not practical. Bring in how you want – even need – for her to tell you what she wants and needs in the relationship.

[cms]

10/23/2013 at 3:54 pm

About a week ago you were pondering a script change.  Did you make a change? Or is she listening to the same script as a week or so ago?  I mean, it’s not necessarily tired that neatly together, but in my mind it warrants deeper analysis. We talked about reinforcing version aspects and eliminating others.  She seems to have developed a pretty severe state of insecurity and hypersensitivity to your mood. Was she ever this sensitive to your mood before? Perhaps it’s a symptom of her wanting so much to keep you happy conflicting with her wanting to be in charge. Is there something that you can delegate responsibility to her for her fulfillment? 

I realize the above is less than fully coherent.  I mainly wanted to give you some potential avenues.  Of course,  feel free to share on any of the topics.  Just don’t feel compelled to do so. 

[FaustsBoon]

10/23/2013 at 4:05 pm

No change in script CMS.  Not yet at least.  I was still pondering, and in light of her behavior even a few days ago, felt it prudent.  This has me reconsidering, obviously.

Fiz:  One step ahead of you man.  I already communicated precisely that to her, and said that while I can feel momentary frustration, that it in no way means I don’t love her, and that I will always be there for her.  I very much expressed how much she means to me, and said almost precisely what you wrote, which was that she hurt my feelings, and upset me by making me feel like we were somehow losing all the wonderful progress we had been making, but that while I may have expressed my frustration poorly, I certainly never, ever, would entertain the thought of leaving her, etc…

We’ll see where it goes.  She seems calmer now, but who knows.  Its really weird… she has not acted like this in…. oh, four to six months now?  This kind of shitstorm from her, disappearing, was one of the first things I appreciated from subliminal results in fact.

[cms]

10/23/2013 at 4:42 pm

Ahhh… so this behavior is not unprecedented then. This alters my perception a bit – especially if it was a recurring behavior.  This behavior has in some form or another been repressed through a combination of subliminal suggestion, her desire to fulfill other subliminal suggestions, and her desire to please you.  When any feelings or behaviors are simply shoved aside and not systematically disassembled, they are likely to greater below the surface unseen and unnoticed until the smallest of triggers causes them to explode on the surface. I just dealt with something of that nature myself – me,  not my wife – I get to deal with hers every few weeks. 

This seems to be an old ongoing issue that gave the appearance of having been corrected.  Again, not asking specifics, but do you have as good handle on root cause? I’m thinking that role neutral (or at least role gentle) discussions may be in order.  I don’t think that an immediate change to the scripts is in order.  Perhaps in time when you have laser clarity on specific threads to unravel, but not until then. I’d say keep the consistency of what you have running and start trying to peel the onion.  I’m thinking that since you both have an  investment going on the anniversary, I’d come right out and express that the two of you should set this aside for the day and just do everything in both your powers to enjoy the day you have planned and enjoy each other.  Tell her that you have plenty of time and plenty of love for her to work through any problems you might encounter, but that day is a day you have both invested in to celebrate your love for one another. 

On a side note – I think it’s great how responsive people are here to jump in and show support for each other when one is in need.  Fausts, I am very sorry that you are going through this, but it does reinforce to me that I am in the right place. 

[FaustsBoon]

10/23/2013 at 8:58 pm

We’re indeed a pretty great community.  It feels good to share, and I have even made some friends here which translate to outside the forum.  Support system’s are a very, very good thing.

And I know you’re newer here, but my wife’s nature and history are very well documented across my two long journals.  In short, she is a product of an abuse, and the abuse was over-answered by an insane mom who went the hardcore “men are the devil and women rule the world” counter.  Both have caused layers upon layers of complications that we’ve been working on for years.  Early this year things were at their worst for as long as we’ve been together.  Subliminals, communication, etc… I BELIEVE led us miles away from that place, and barring this weird couple days, we have absolutely been worlds better/happier than we were (which, btw… was never bad, as we’ve always at least had a loving, loyal, relationship in all things).

[Tap]

10/24/2013 at 12:47 am

I think you were right to not originally apologize because you weren’t wrong. You were right to show that it’s only your way about sex. I know in similar situations, I have had different views than others on this discussion forum. As such, I’d have to disagree with Qwerty and Fiz. I don’t think you should apologize or give her chocolates or flowers. In fact, her reacting like she did was her being paranoid that she’s losing control of you because you DIDN’T apologize and give in like you normally do.

Your strength appeals to her and her acting like that is testing you. I believe if you stay firm that you want your sex life on your terms, when she finally gives in and agrees, that’s when you reward her. Only rewarding and reinforcing the good behaviors is the key.

To give you an example, I didn’t mention this in my journal, but my wife and I had an argument a few days ago about going to some party. I told her no and she really wanted to go. I told her she’s not going without me and I didn’t want to go. She promised she’d pay for everything and I told her she’d have to drive before and after if we did go. She started yelling at me, and I just left the house and drove off for a couple of hours. When I came back, she was asleep and I went to sleep. The next day I went to work and she texted me asking where I went. I told her I just drove around and she just said ok. She then cooked for me that night, cleaned the house, and said she didn’t want to go anymore because it was too much money for her to spend. That’s how I like my relationship. On MY TERMS and not hers. I’m firm with her now and don’t apologize unless I really mess up. I think a part of it is my custom which puts submissive ideas in her head.

Another suggestion would be that in your playlist you include a file strictly for being obedient to you and letting you be in control. I think that would do wonders for your relationship in general.

[FaustsBoon]

10/24/2013 at 12:14 pm

So last night was… interesting.  

The wife and I discussed our spat, aired a lot of feelings, concerns, etc…  I apologized for something that I didn’t realize I was doing which genuinely WAS my fault, but used that to also express that I was not apologizing for other valid concerns, and feelings I have.  Anyway, it felt productive, and I learned a fair bit about what has been floating around in her head.

What was interesting was that afterward she launched into some of the kinkiest, raunchiest sex I have ever seen from her.  I don’t know if she was doing what she felt I wanted, or just let a bunch of barriers down… but it was very wild, and even caught me off guard.

After, though… she flipped like a switch, and was just Sally Housewife… “What should we make for dinner tomorrow” etc…, like nothing major had just happened.

All in all, I can feel her internal conflict.  There are definitely old and new natures, ideas, wishes, etc… and many are in battle with one another.  Her working through it all is surreal to see though, and i’m not 100% sure how to deftly help her through it.

[Fizbin]

10/24/2013 at 4:12 pm

Sounds very productive. I’m not super surprised at the sexual intensity. Intense emotions all translate to roughly the same thing biologically. “I’m super stimulated and I need to do something about it!” Sex is usually a good “something”

As for that thing you were doing that merited an apology – is it something you could mention as a trap others of us may fall into and should take caution to avoid?

[FaustsBoon]

10/24/2013 at 4:32 pm

@Fizbin said:
Sounds very productive. I’m not super surprised at the sexual intensity. Intense emotions all translate to roughly the same thing biologically. “I’m super stimulated and I need to do something about it!” Sex is usually a good “something”

As for that thing you were doing that merited an apology – is it something you could mention as a trap others of us may fall into and should take caution to avoid?

All it really was is that I was not paying much mind to how she was being generous with her time, outside intimacy.  She really was picking up a lot of my hobbies at the expense of her own, just to be supportive of me, and have a way to spend time with me.  She, rightly, felt I wasn’t giving the same respect to her interests.  The boob I am… I just genuinely thought she suddenly liked all the same hobbies I do.  :-p

Tone is much improved today.  Hopefully we’re both optimistic which should be a good jumping off point to continuing our subliminal work.  😉

[Fizbin]

10/24/2013 at 8:41 pm

Yeah, that would do it. I try to make sure I express my appreciation for everything my wife does for (and with) me – especially if it sinks through my thick skull that she would actually rather be doing something else . I don’t always succeed, but it is definitely worth the effort!

[FaustsBoon]

10/31/2013 at 4:43 pm

So this has to be brief…. REALLY brief as i’m buried with work right now, but I realized I hadn’t chimed in since before our anniversary.

In short, the wife came through, and our anniversary had some of the most passionate, kinky, fun, loving, sex we’ve had in ages.  She even surprised me with a shaven pussy, and a couple other treats.  It was wonderful, and was the fruit of our agreeing to reconnect physically and emotionally each day.  I’m hoping, like Qwerty’s wife needed her 365-day-self-challenge conversation at her church to give her “permission” to act on her subliminal training, that this will give my wife the ok to relax, and just love sex again.

Fingers crossed.  I’ve only had one handjob in the three days since, but am hoping the wife and I change that tonight.  😉

[Fizbin]

10/31/2013 at 6:09 pm

Congratulations! May the success continue!

[FaustsBoon]

11/05/2013 at 11:02 pm

So, a random topic of discussion for friends here, old, and new, alike.  

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, in terms of where the program has seen my wife and I, during the last, eight or so months.  Its been fascinating.  I know I did plenty wrong, did a lot right… learned a great deal… and over-all, my marriage, and our sex-life has improved, even if that improvement isn’t as dramatic as the dream in my imagination, the night I signed up for this.

So in reflection.  I’m wondering if another healthy re-start of expectations, techniques, etc… is due.

The last time I “rebooted” journal, mind-set, and all, things improved dramatically because I was able to shed bad habits, and things I flat out know I did wrong with the subliminals, and my usage of them.  Since then, we’ve hit another real wall.  I feel I have helped the wife come as far as we can without another reevaluation, and reboot.  

I have most mistakes to shed, for instance.  Since July 1st, I have changed scripts, notably, three times… with one or two tiny changes in there as well.  Despite my own promise to fiddle with scripts less, I still did it more often than I probably should have.  Amongst those changes was also the big leap from Trainer’s files, to his Custom for me, to ones I worked on with Qwerty which featured a dramatically different psychological and technical approach.

Again… I find my experience and learning telling me that I can now do this again, and better.

So what are your thoughts?  Do you ever want to take what you’ve learned, and reboot?

I’m thinking of asking my friend Qwerty to help me with one new custom…. applying all the technique he has developed, combined with my own change in expectations, to make a script targeting much more modest results, a MUCH shorter script, for maximum repetition, and then leaving the wife to her self discovery, by pushing less, and letting the SCIENCE here, do much more.

One script, 40-45 affirmations, modest goals/expectations, and then say… hard rule of three months with ZERO changes, followed by a very candid reevaluation of where we are?

Thoughts?

[Ygg]

11/07/2013 at 4:37 am

If it helps strengthen your resolve, nothing wrong with it. As human minds are endlessly complex, finding the right patterns to correct the things you wish to correct is a tall order, especially since wording is of the utmost import. Like qwerty said about his customs he had great success with, they were written and redrafted to sound as close to his wife’s own words (thoughts) as possible, thus perhaps giving them an edge on being accepted. From what i’ve read you had some pretty great success recently, and in general from where you began. Nothing wrong i can gather with homing in further and more accurately on your original goals and new targets.

I like the 1 script at a time idea solely because it’s the easiest to identify and encourage the target behavior, perhaps not as remarkable in terms of short term success, I think it stands the best odds for retention (mind you this is pure speculation) More repetition the merrier from what i understand.

I’m still a little unsure as to how long is long enough, i’d say with the above logic after 1 1/2-2 months (1 being the accepted norm) it should be good and in there, then introduce the next script alongside the prior one for the remainder of your 3 month period; lather, rinse, repeat. I can’t deny craving seeing the results of your 3 month one script idea however

[FaustsBoon]

11/08/2013 at 6:29 pm

@Ygg said:
If it helps strengthen your resolve, nothing wrong with it. As human minds are endlessly complex, finding the right patterns to correct the things you wish to correct is a tall order, especially since wording is of the utmost import. Like qwerty said about his customs he had great success with, they were written and redrafted to sound as close to his wife’s own words (thoughts) as possible, thus perhaps giving them an edge on being accepted. From what i’ve read you had some pretty great success recently, and in general from where you began. Nothing wrong i can gather with homing in further and more accurately on your original goals and new targets.

I like the 1 script at a time idea solely because it’s the easiest to identify and encourage the target behavior, perhaps not as remarkable in terms of short term success, I think it stands the best odds for retention (mind you this is pure speculation) More repetition the merrier from what i understand.

 

I’m still a little unsure as to how long is long enough, i’d say with the above logic after 1 1/2-2 months (1 being the accepted norm) it should be good and in there, then introduce the next script alongside the prior one for the remainder of your 3 month period; lather, rinse, repeat. I can’t deny craving seeing the results of your 3 month one script idea however

@Ygg said:
If it helps strengthen your resolve, nothing wrong with it. As human minds are endlessly complex, finding the right patterns to correct the things you wish to correct is a tall order, especially since wording is of the utmost import. Like qwerty said about his customs he had great success with, they were written and redrafted to sound as close to his wife’s own words (thoughts) as possible, thus perhaps giving them an edge on being accepted. From what i’ve read you had some pretty great success recently, and in general from where you began. Nothing wrong i can gather with homing in further and more accurately on your original goals and new targets.

I like the 1 script at a time idea solely because it’s the easiest to identify and encourage the target behavior, perhaps not as remarkable in terms of short term success, I think it stands the best odds for retention (mind you this is pure speculation) More repetition the merrier from what i understand.

 

I’m still a little unsure as to how long is long enough, i’d say with the above logic after 1 1/2-2 months (1 being the accepted norm) it should be good and in there, then introduce the next script alongside the prior one for the remainder of your 3 month period; lather, rinse, repeat. I can’t deny craving seeing the results of your 3 month one script idea however

[Fizbin]

11/09/2013 at 11:13 am

@FaustsBoon said:

@Ygg said:
The same stuff twice…

 

It seems your message got lost, as all we see is a double quote…

[FaustsBoon]

11/09/2013 at 6:10 pm

I think we had a huge, huge breakthrough last night, and without being hyperbolic, its possible that all the months of subliminals, etc… broke through in a very meaningful way, all at once.

 

As I had mentioned, the wife has been very keenly sensitive to how unhappy I have been, and my frustrations, as of late.  In a way, as if we turned a corner, she suddenly seemed to really want to put my being happy first.  I felt “heard” and felt like she seemed genuinely interested in trying to fix our relationship, and not just talking about it.

 

She told me she really has been trying, since our anniversary, but knows life, and other stuff has occasionally gotten in her way, and that she knew she still wasn’t being as giving as I would want or expect, to be happy.  She knew I wasnt’ happy for quite a while in the one area, and she genuinely wanted to know something she could do to keep me happy, while she is also working on opening up sexually, and improving our love-making, and connection in the “intimate” side of our sex-life.

 

I told her, very plainly, that I needed an area of our life where I felt respected, and in control, and where I wouldn’t have to demasculate myself, or go without the expectation of being heard.  I told her, in one concrete example, that this meant, if I ask for a blowjob, I expect it, and I get to say how its done, etc… 

 

I explained that not having to worry about when we would have sex, figuring out how to convince her, etc… frees up my energy for being a better man in every area of my life, and likewise, just being happier, in turn, helps me focus on so much more.

 

I expected her to scoff, or give me her usual crap about not wanting to feel used…. and needing to feel a connection, and GASP, her crap about needing to be in control if we were going to move forward….

 

… instead, she looks at me as lovingly as possible, and tells me she agrees, and will do anything I want, as often as I need it… with one condition….

 

“Uh oh” I think, expecting it to be some crazy control move that renders it all moot.

 

Turns out… her only criteria is that, no matter what else I want or ask for… I can’t force her to gag (IE hold her head down, while deep-throating).

 

That’s it!?!?!  Thats totally reasonable, and i’m sitting there, shocked.

 

Of course, I tell her that’s fine, and likewise tell her I love and appreciate her, and that of course i’ll also always be mindful of how she’s feeling, if she’s ill, had a horrible day, etc…  I want her to want to be there for me more, and help me enjoy physical love with her again…. not take advantage of her.  I did also tell her she couldn’t use “bad day” as an eternal excuse though, and she promised she wouldn’t.

 

So… of course I had to test out her new resolve, and she proceeding to do exactly what I asked for the next hour, without complaint, and even fell asleep telling me how much she loved me.

 

All in all….. WOW?  I mean…  I want to see if in a week this has continued, and worked…. but if this is legit…. it is the huge, QWERTY-sized breakthrough i’ve dreamt of.

 

What can I attribute this to?

 

Was it, months of files coming to (pardon the pun) a head?

 

Was it the newest file’s affirmations on wanting to be submissive, and make me happy in all things?

 

Whatever the case, i’m cautiously excited, and am just hoping against hope that this is everything I could’ve wished for.

[Tagsta]

11/10/2013 at 12:03 am

Congratulations!  I’ve been watching your post for months now, and I’ve read every post, and I’m completely happy for you.  I’m going to follow your example, and that of Qwerty’s too, and hopefully I can accomplish what you have with these subliminals.  Hopefully soon I can let everyone know of my success.  Congrats!

[FaustsBoon]

11/10/2013 at 12:30 am

Well, thank you so much for the kind words, but lets wait a week or two before we do a victory dance.  :-p  I’ve gotten close (not THIS close, mind you) to an absolutely massive breakthrough before, and it is usually backpeddled out of existence.  I plan to really carefully watch this week, and see if she lives up to her promises, if so, i’ll buy a round for everyone.  :-p

Today has been interesting though.  The wife emailed me a picture of her in lingerie from our anniversary night, and likewise is falling all over herself to be sweet to me… is posting loving pictures of us on Facebook, etc…  She seems downright blissful today… and that comes out of nowhere.

So now i’m really analyzing my scripts, and trying to see what is in place.  Her current script, which she has been hearing for a few weeks now (only say… two and a half weeks?) does have a few affirmations about wanting to do anything to make me happy/satisfy me, and also has a whole mini section on being proud of our sex-life.  The picture, the sudden wish for submission and pleasing me… speaks to those elements specifically.

[Ygg]

11/11/2013 at 4:23 am

Wow man, major congratulations are in order, always darkest before the dawn  

[trainer81]

11/11/2013 at 4:52 pm

Awesome man I’m happy for yeah   And all get back to you later through email soon!

New forum look is on it’s way

Trainer81

[Tap]

11/12/2013 at 2:22 am

@FaustsBoon said:

So now i’m really analyzing my scripts, and trying to see what is in place.  Her current script, which she has been hearing for a few weeks now (only say… two and a half weeks?) does have a few affirmations about wanting to do anything to make me happy/satisfy me, and also has a whole mini section on being proud of our sex-life.  The picture, the sudden wish for submission and pleasing me… speaks to those elements specifically.

I’m glad you finally took some of my advice and included affirmations of her wanting to please you and keep you happy in general. I always said that’s an important part and the basis for your sex script to work. If you think about it, you also had similar success with HH. Your wife responds well to that. I would think you should include more of your happiness in general affirmations as well as submissive ones to seal the deal.

[FaustsBoon]

11/13/2013 at 2:31 pm

I have to say Tap, we don’t always agree, but when you’re right, you’re right… and on this one you absolutely were.

First, to update on the wife keeping her word…  I am cautiously optimistic.  Since my last update, one BJ was upon request, no issues, and the second time, she declined…. because she actually wanted to have sex (which was awesome… she was incredibly engaged).  Also, she seems to be staying happy, and is even joking about/enjoying our “arrangement”.  She was kneeling in front of me and I put my hand on her head (lovingly, no innuendo intended…), and she laughed and said, “Hey!  Our deal was no holding my head down…”  As this wasn’t remotely during a sexual situation, I found it playful, and loved seeing her being so positive about something I frankly never fully expected of her.

So… so far, so good.  We’ll see if it persists, but its looking like a major wall finally came down in her defenses.  I really do think Tap has half of it… the desire to make me happy all the time really did end up helping, but I also think the lines about her being proud of our sex-life and wanting sex, have been a factor.  I’ve seen her more inclined to make risque jokes around others, to be sure, and she just seems suddenly very positive about anything sex related in our relationship.

Also, I may have used her own stubbornness against her.  I do have an affirmation repeated a few times, “It is my idea to be submissive.”

I think the “my idea” part may have really been a clutch one.

[Tap]

11/14/2013 at 1:29 am

I think what we’re seeing here is the recipe for success when it comes to sex which includes two parts, on to make u happy in general and the second to desire sex. I think it’s interesting that one of your affirmations is about how it’s her idea to be submissive. I might try that out in my custom.

[Fizbin]

11/14/2013 at 3:18 am

I also like the “my idea” idea. It is similar to a line I have in some of my scripts, “I have always felt this way”, but more directly associated to the particular item.

[FaustsBoon]

11/14/2013 at 12:36 pm

@Fizbin said:
I also like the “my idea” idea. It is similar to a line I have in some of my scripts, “I have always felt this way”, but more directly associated to the particular item.

Well, and it was a direct response to really thinking about how my wife thinks.  She definitely has an arrogant streak.  She keeps it in check around me, but I know she thinks she is better than many of her co-workers, etc…  It, plus her love of being in control, etc… told me I needed to use her own psyche against her.  I like that line a lot, and in fact that affirmation is used three times in the script.

Hope all goes well.  I just told the wife that tonight I would be taking advantage of our new arrangement.  We’ll see how it works as she’s been at work since 5:00am.  You know her exhaustion from early shifts had always knee-capped my efforts… so lets see what wins out.

[FaustsBoon]

11/18/2013 at 5:40 pm

So… while it was a wicked long wrong to get here, I think it is becoming increasingly safe to say that I have finally started reaching Qwerty-tier of success.

Back-peddling came frequently, but this week the wife has MOSTLY kept her new-found promises.  I attempted to take advantage of her new submission bargain on four occassions, knowing that would statistically be WELL outside of even our best weeks.  Of the four requests, one immediately led to a blowjob, two were “refused” only because she actually wanted to have sex as well (which ended up including blowjobs anyway), and one occasion was left with genuine refusal/frustration.  The one time my requests didn’t result in the desired out-come, however, was the culmination of several early shifts in a row, meaning she had been on three successive days of five-hours of sleep.  Obviously I won’t begrudge her that one.

All in all, success at the level is soooo new that I still need to baby it and foster it becoming our “new normal” before I even think of proceeding elsewhere.  Point is, if it sticks… it is pretty damn incredible.  And for the sake of showing how different people can be, it should be said that Qwerty was at my side, supporting me the entire time, as a friend, and technologically… and still it took me… oh…. five months, to where he found himself in three.  Even with best practices, there is just sooooo much variance in individuals.

[Qwerty]

11/18/2013 at 11:21 pm

Congrats on your success Faust. And thank you for the kind words but it is your efforts that have led you here and it is your efforts that have made the aberation into a reality.

[FaustsBoon]

11/20/2013 at 9:38 pm

So despite things going so well, I have decided to use my wife’s pending vacation to launch my “lean and mean” script effort, as I intended to.  My logic being that I can always return to my previous script if I see too much back peddling.  For the interest of science, and to help all of you, and myself, I am doubling down on the elements which I believe worked in the last script, and which finally led to some breakthrough.  

The new script is a mere 26 lines, featuring 19 unique affirmations (some are used several times).  This will feature all of Qwerty’s techniques, but use Trainer’s notion of a small, succinct script for maximum repetition.

This method will mean my total playlist is one-third of as long as my previous ones, and with half the unique affirmations.  

For the sake of consistency, the script is ENTIRELY culled from what I believe to me the most successful lines from my current play-list.  Barring a couple rewordings and a couple lines, this is my same playlist, retuned, and nothing else.  As such, if improvement persists, or accelerates, we’ll know the only variable is the highly abbreviated format.

The script hits four themes that over-lap, cross-over, and flow into one-another.  While there are only five to seven affirmations on any specific topic, they do over-lap, and there are transitionary affirmations.  I’d ideally have more, but I figure the extremely short run-time, and high repetition will take care of that.  The four themes are…

1. Being proud of her sexual desires, needs, and kinks (Other women admire me for my kinky side….   I am proud to be submissive…. etc…)

2. Desiring submission, letting go of control…  (Being sexually submissive to my husband is my idea…  Being submissive to my husband is fulfilling….  I am ready to let go of control, sexually…. etc)

3. Wanting to make me happy (I am happy when my husband is happy…  I want to do everything to satisfy my husband… etc…)

4. Some hardcore arousal (A hold-over of Qwerty’s raw technique.  A selection of very dirty language reminding her how urgently she needs sex, wants me, etc…)

I’ll be launching this on Tuesday when she returns home.  Finger’s crossed. 

[Fizbin]

11/20/2013 at 10:36 pm

That sounds like an excellent plan. The returning to the subliminal environment with the new intensity could simply feel like having had these feelings and desires “pent up” while she was away, so they come back with a vengeance.

Keep us up to date!

[FaustsBoon]

11/21/2013 at 5:53 pm

Well, one last update (I think?) before the few days hiatus, and then return of the wife to her new(ish) program.

This morning, was incredible.  I’m astounded by what the last two weeks have brought.  She isn’t 100% submissive, and I haven’t really pushed my luck in testing her promise to me, but when I have asked, she has delivered at about a 75% success-rate, with failures usually being logical (like I should have known better as she was exhausted on a given day).

This morning, feeling a little emboldened, I woke her up kissing her, telling her how badly I have wanted her, but have restrained myself as she was coming from two obscenely long work-days/largely sleepless nights.  

Short version of what followed was that she was incredibly pliable.  I had her masturbating for me, but denied her orgasm as I told her to save it for me.  I kept her in a state of desperately near orgasm, during which I had her deep-throating me amongst other things.  Feeling really brave, I even had her talk dirty, and told her to ask to suck me, etc…. and finally, wanting to test limits just a touch more…. told her to call me “master”… which SHOCKINGLY, she did.  

We had some great morning sex, but the bigger take away is that she has been sooooo much more open to submission, etc… than ever before, and even afterward is so very concerned with my happiness, and telling me how much she loves me.

Events like this really cement my feeling like I have been making better choices with the program, etc… and I feel good about doubling down on ideas regarding her wanting to make me happy above all else, as well as her being proud of her kinks, and her submission being HER idea.  As I have said, items like that last line seemed to blow the doors off of the barriers which she has seemed to tenuously hold on to for months now, as it pertains to progress.

[Fizbin]

11/21/2013 at 9:49 pm

As always, your progress is fantastic! I think your new program will be quite effective.

[FaustsBoon]

11/22/2013 at 12:02 am

@Fizbin said:
As always, your progress is fantastic! I think your new program will be quite effective.

Well, NOT as always, should be the take away of newer posters, potential customers, etc…  I’ve been here for, oh… seven months now, maybe eight?  It took all of that time, even with great advice, help, etc… to see really dramatic results.

Has it been worth it?  ABSOLUTELY, but I do want people to know this isn’t fast, easy, etc…  It takes work, and patience, and maybe things will work out as you would like after all that.  Trainer suggests, when we all start, that in reality this is a very slow, road, and he is telling the truth.  

Still, more than ever, I can recommend this program to others.  🙂

[Fizbin]

11/22/2013 at 1:10 am

@FaustsBoon said:

@Fizbin said:
As always, your progress is fantastic! I think your new program will be quite effective.

Well, NOT as always, should be the take away of newer posters, potential customers, etc…  I’ve been here for, oh… seven months now, maybe eight?  It took all of that time, even with great advice, help, etc… to see really dramatic results.

 

Has it been worth it?  ABSOLUTELY, but I do want people to know this isn’t fast, easy, etc…  It takes work, and patience, and maybe things will work out as you would like after all that.  Trainer suggests, when we all start, that in reality this is a very slow, road, and he is telling the truth.  

 

Still, more than ever, I can recommend this program to others.  🙂

 

Allow me to clarify – your progress may not have been as fast as you would have liked, but it has been fantastic. In your early attempts you were a little impatient, and therefore changed things up before they had a chance to sink in. Once you decided to take a steady course, things were much more effective. Still not instantaneous, but generally steady.

[FaustsBoon]

11/29/2013 at 5:41 pm

Well, just a brief update, but worth noting.  We had a decent amount of backslide from my wife’s four days away.  Go figure?  I was hoping most elements had taken a deeper root, but since returning home there was some regression.  The wife came home missing sex, and wanting it, so we did make love, but it was rather plain, and she was only half into it.  Perhaps her mind wanted it more than her tired body would allow.  That said, during sex she wasn’t responding to my assertiveness, etc… as she has been, saying “we’ll do that tomorrow…” several times, which surprised me (both her implying that we’d have sex the next day, but also putting off mutually fun acts).  Since then, two days of my usual requests for blowjobs were met with a sort of frustration and “we just had sex two days ago”… despite her promising during such that we’d have other fun.

Still, her “frustration” at me, instantly dissipates, and she hasn’t held any grudges or grumbles, so that element has stayed firmly in place.  I suppose her wanting to make me happy is securing itself most deeply, as affection has been very high, but the promises of bjs on command, etc… is still in flux depending on a good day or bad day.  

She did come home to her new file/program though (see above).  It has been a mere three days so we’ll see where it goes.  Fingers crossed that the sole, highly focuses, highly repeated short script picks up the progress where we left off.

[FaustsBoon]

12/03/2013 at 12:36 pm

Very brief update as there is nothing to really report.  The backslide from last week has remained, so we’re “ok” but well off the excellent couple weeks prior.  That said, she also came home to the new (ultra short) script, so she didn’t exactly pick up where she left off, likely further delaying progress.  Fingers crossed for the days to come as I do believe in the new script and concept.

Interesting aside though… some things have stuck to be sure.  Whenever the wife wakes up at night, for instance, to use the bathroom, etc… she always tells me she loves me.  :-p  In fact she says it almost constantly now.  Its a sweet little bonus, while we work on the other stuff.  🙂

[eldrin81]

12/03/2013 at 1:34 pm

Interesting how us pig guys are always about sex, and how we focus so much on sex in our scripts, but both you and I see personal excitement in the fact our wives are being more affectionate, saying I love you, smiling more etc. Those little things give you hope.

[Fizbin]

12/03/2013 at 4:54 pm

+1 on the Affection club…

[FaustsBoon]

12/04/2013 at 2:42 pm

Further tension today, as I, calmly, and without anger, called her out on some bad behavior which popped up.  She’s been acting selfish, and again would rather play dumb, or go silent rather than take any personal responsibility for her actions.  She knows she does it, but has always been a spoiled brat and cannot stand criticism.  

Amongst the things I raised was the concern that she immediately back-peddled on her compromise to me, and improvements in our sexual relationship, and that she was trying to be a control-freak again, and I was not going to allow that.  

I carried myself well, was measured, and feel good about my half of things, over-all, but we’ll see how she reacts once her silent-treatment, temper tantrum wears off.

Eh… two steps forward, one big step back is often how this goes, I suppose.  Very frustrating 24hrs though…

[eldrin81]

12/04/2013 at 3:01 pm

@FaustsBoon said:
Further tension today, as I, calmly, and without anger, called her out on some bad behavior which popped up.  She’s been acting selfish, and again would rather play dumb, or go silent rather than take any personal responsibility for her actions.  She knows she does it, but has always been a spoiled brat and cannot stand criticism.  

You are not married to my wife’s identical twin by chance are you…? lol.

My wife also cannot stand criticism in any form, and when she gets into a situation where things get tough and decisions aren’t so straight forward she starts whining, acting like a sore loser, or if its an argument says typical things to block, side step, shift blame, or change the subject. Even playing a video game, or table top game she does this. Called her out on it during a heated argument recently last month, said she runs from everything when the going gets tough and she needs to stop it. Told her I would help her however she needed but she needs to stop running away all the time. Her interpretation: “I think shes a loser in life and can’t stand her” go figure. People hear what they wanna hear sometimes.

[FaustsBoon]

12/06/2013 at 9:39 pm

Eldrin… you’re freaking me out.  We’re table-top war-gamers, and video-game players too… and yes, same behavior.  :-p  Ok… that’s a little freaky.

Anyway… happier things to report.  Yesterday I really gave my wife a talking to (politely, calmly…) and she immediately took on a more submissive tone, and essentially said if I had told her like that in the first-place that she was starting to abandon her promise to me, she would’ve corrected it.  Logic gaps aside (I HAD been telling her…), she agreed to go back to what we were doing, and would redouble her efforts to maintain it.  She proved as much that night with a handjob that wasn’t a blowjob only because she ASKED if she could take the night off as her neck/shoulder had been hurting her for two days.  I agreed but told her tonight i’d expect better, which she said “ok” to.  We’ll see what happens.  MAYBE the backslide ran its course, and we’ve righted ourselves.

[eldrin81]

12/07/2013 at 12:20 am

Ya, it sounds like my wife. I commented in my own journal how it was like I was witnessing a war taking place out in the open between the old behavior and the new. There seems to be a common thread between your journal and Qwerty’s about the wife not realizing the transformation consciously and not seeing the new behavior as something different, or seeing the contradiction of old behavior with the new. They seem totally unaware of it.

My wife is of similar note, she doesn’t seem to realize her constant resistance leading up to sex, which totally f@cks with my ability to be aggressive. After awhile I myself become conditioned to be more hesitant, and then when I can’t stand it any longer and do act more aggressive/assertive, she immediately 180’s and tells me If you want it just take it, like its such a simple thing. Like she isn’t aware of her resisting behavior that took place not 5 minutes earlier.

[FaustsBoon]

12/07/2013 at 11:00 pm

Well, the wife woke me up with a blowjob and swallow… so, go figure… things seem to be working out again.  :-p

[eldrin81]

12/08/2013 at 12:33 am

ya if my wife did that, I’d wonder if i was still in a dream.

Thats like the ultimate selfless act towards a husband. I’m envious.

[eldrin81]

12/08/2013 at 12:37 am

I guess I need to read your journal daily. Just peeked at an older section of it, its like looking in a mirror. You’re just further up the road than I am.

[Qwerty]

12/08/2013 at 1:19 am

Great to hear your new file is working so well Faust.

[Fizbin]

12/08/2013 at 11:25 am

Congratulations! Spontaneous behavior is a good thing!

[FaustsBoon]

12/08/2013 at 4:22 pm

@eldrin81 said:
I guess I need to read your journal daily. Just peeked at an older section of it, its like looking in a mirror. You’re just further up the road than I am.

Please do!  That’s why I wrote it!  This thread and the earlier one in this sub-forum chronicle my entire experience, up to this point… warts, and screw-ups, and all.  :-p

And without Qwerty, specifically, I wouldn’t be here.  That man is a gentleman, and a friend.

Yeah man, its working well.  There are still whole days where it seems like no progress is made, but I can almost always associate them with times she is stressed from work, not from home.

And Qwerty, expect an email man.  We’ll talk there, but its been too long, and i’ve been meaning to write.  🙂

[eldrin81]

12/08/2013 at 6:06 pm

Ya, I see how you talked about your wife having an avoidance of criticism and stress and such and how she sometimes acted like a spoiled child, or would be all talk about improvement, or doing something with her life, or simply doing something to please you, but never follow through with ACTION. And I am like, Jesus, he is married to my wife’s twin. I know my wife’s brother and father were always overly critical of her growing up, always putting her down, or quick to jump her when she was wrong or messed up, but never provided positive praise if she did good. So that is a big part of it. Still its always nice to see someone in such a similar situation that is currently doing so much better because it shows its possible for her to change within the span of a few months.

[FaustsBoon]

12/10/2013 at 5:06 pm

Just a very quick update, as my wife is taking a bath.

Yesterday, when we woke up I mentioned how fun it was to wake up to a bj Saturday, and with a minimum of request, she proceeded to do so again.

This morning, my wife who merely a month ago found my taste in lingerie tacky, asked me to pick out something nasty for her to wear on my birthday.

Methinks this new file and format is starting to yield some interesting results.  😉

[FaustsBoon]

12/11/2013 at 1:18 pm

Just a minor, minor update, but before that, I wanted to say another “thank you” to my friend, known around these parts as Qwerty.  I’m sure you’ve seen his “mission accomplished” post as a sign-off on his journal, and I just wanted to share my happiness in his success.

He and I started this roughly at the same time, but needless to say his successes and data have been a catalyst for my own successes thus far.  Likewise, his personal support has helped me through plenty of times when I wanted to ditch this program altogether.

Thanks again man, and I wish you all the time in the world to savor the fruits of your work.

On my home-front…  Last night, I tried to initiate sex as it was obviously on her mind (she, blushing, somehow came to the topic of telling me of her one-time experiments with anal beads).  She mounted me, and it seemed like sex was a lock, but after a bit she kept apologizing and said how tired she was.

Half playfully I told her that her LITERAL cock-tease was a pretty awful move, but smiling she promising me that tonight I could do anything to her or with her that I wanted… and said as much with a hell of a look in her eyes.

That makes two morning bj wake-ups, and one instance of sex, in five days.  I’ll take that… for now.

[J66R]

12/12/2013 at 1:11 am

Me thinks I’m going to go hunting back a bit to find your file (wording) and format (volume & nyquist) notes.

Those two things are like my Holy Grail for the sexual aspect of using the subs.

1) waking up to an unsolicited bj (morning or middle of the night, I don’t care, just drink me down woman!)

2) an actual swallow instead a choke, a spit and yanking me out of her mouth so fast it almost tears the head off!

If I could get those once I’d be a happy camper, especially at the same time, hehe; if I could get those on a consistent basis, I’d say 99% of my sexual wants are complete. I could live with that. And I can’t hink of anything “more” I could ever ask of her.

Eldrin, I agree with you; I consider the bj and swallow to be the ultimate expression of selflessness, love and acceptance.

And Fizbin, you’re so right, the spontaneous behavior is the goal here. We want them to act under their own volition and initiate things. That’s how we can see it is becoming real for them.

[eldrin81]

12/12/2013 at 3:07 am

Ya. I can see no better illustration of love, and selflessness towards your man than spontaneously, and regularly, blowing and swallowing his load. Of course it doesn’t initially taste great. But hey, i thought coffee was the nastiest thing on the planet once, but now I love it. Everything can be changed.

Glad to see you are achieving that goal Faust. Seems so silly to the womanfolk, but it has a profound effect mentally and emotionally on us menfolk.

I know I am far less stressed after such an act, as I am from frequent sex in general.

[FaustsBoon]

12/12/2013 at 1:27 pm

You know, Eldrin… you’re right.  I personally find the selflessness the real joy of it, and it feels like gratitude incarnate for how much I do, sacrifice, etc, for her happiness.  It being all for me in those moments is the best “thank you” ever.  😉

So, last night was fascinating…. amazing, but fascinating.

So my wife very, very aggressively initiated sex last night, and was extremely intense and passionate.  She was talking in as filthy a way as possible, and was generally just doing anything she could think of (including anal which was totally unsolicited, unexpected, etc…)

Thing was… it kind of felt like a duel.  She was being very assertive, tried telling me when to cum, etc…  Realizing this was a good moment to playfully remind her who was in charge (ahem), I made sure to push back, do many things my own way, and after finishing her twice, only then told her to finish me as I wasn’t satisified yet.  

It was very playful, but like I said, had a “duel” quality as she REALLY seemed to want to try to take control.  By the end, i’m pretty sure I made a compelling case for “winning”… but honestly… we both won like crazy.  😉

I think this might have been a way for her to respond to all the “submission” stuff in my script, because once she was close to orgasm, the pretense of her being in charge dropped, and I saw I could’ve had her say and do almost anything.  😉

Also, I think i’m increasingly confident that their is something to my “blitz” script.  Keeping it to one file, and 25-ish lines has seemed to really, really accelerate things.  If this keeps up, i’ll be posting a “Mission Complete” post too….  though I know better than to get excited until we see if this continues.

[eldrin81]

12/12/2013 at 3:31 pm

Ya, I would say her trying to wrest control in a playful manner is a fun way for her subconscious to outlet any repressed control issues. As long as you continue pushing back in a playful way. Submissive is nice, when outside the bedroom. But personally there is nothing hotter than a woman that is aggressive in wanting sex and during sex, as long as she complies when you push back or assert control. Seems like fun.

reminds me of a wild moment I had over a year ago with my wife: 

my wife has always thought doggy style was weird. She has some mental Hangup on positions besides missionary. Won’t even let herself enjoy it or orgasm, but sometimes I break through and get her too anyway. One night I was ravenous like a animal. I am usually like this after a good workout and if I haven’t had any in awhile, which was the case. I immediately took her very aggressively kissing her and fondling her like some hungry animal that had not eaten for weeks and was presented with a ribeye. Threw her to the bed and went down on her like that was some glorious, succulent feast. When she was writhing and moaning in pleasure, and close to orgasm I immediately flipped hr over for some doggy style, and not the easy going variety, but the kind where the neighbors can hear her ass slapping against you. she got really into it and moaned: ” I just wanna be fucked hard…”.needless to say this excited the hell out of me and I gave it all I had. Luckily the boy was with grandma that day Or this would not have happened.

i think our wives all want us to be really aggressive and carnal with them sometimes, but their inner slut shamer blocks them from embracing their carnality.

[J66R]

12/12/2013 at 6:13 pm

I am a fan of the Golden Age of Science Fiction, of which Robert A. Heinlein is arguable one of the Masters.

I do not subscribe to all the ideas I of the main characters of his books, but a few of them, I believe are quite wise.

Many of them came from a character called Lazarus Long, who lived from the early 1900’s and for thousands of years afterwards, witnessing the rise and fall of numerous Human and Alien civilizations.

Heinlein seemed to often have a penchant for sexually charged ideas at odds with the “norms” of the day.

Though not all of these are directly related to the topics we are generally discussing, I think there is at least a tangential relationship to why we are attempting what we are attempting.

Time Enough for Love – 1973  & The Notebooks of Lazarus Long – 1978

• Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best.
• Progress doesn’t come from early risers — progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.
• A “pacifist male” is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described “pacifists” are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger.
• All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly, which can — and must — be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a “perfect society” on any foundation other than “Women and children first!” is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly — and no doubt will keep on trying.
• Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.
• Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
• Certainly the game is rigged. Don’t let that stop you; if you don’t bet, you can’t win.
• Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.
  But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please — this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more!
  So learn to say No — and to be rude about it when necessary.
  Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.
  (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.)
• If tempted by something that feels “altruistic,” examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then, if you still want to do it, wallow in it!

• If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I’ve never heard of it.
• Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking.
• Never appeal to a man’s “better nature.” He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage. <– This is also just as applicable to women.
• Rub her feet.

• Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it’s more sanitary.
• Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance.
• The more you love, the more you can love — and the more intensely you love.
• The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa. <– This is seems to be a recurring opinion here of our ladies' logic processes
• There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk.
• Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long before he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money — but long on hugs.
• What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it!
• Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, “equality” is a disaster.
• Work is not an end in itself; there must always be time enough for love.

The Puppet Masters – 1951

• Listen, son. Most women are damn fools and children. But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The brave ones are braver, the good ones are better — and the vile ones are viler, for that matter.

  • The “Old Man” to “Sam”, when discussing “Mary”, Ch. 11

[FaustsBoon]

12/12/2013 at 8:03 pm

Just had to chime in as I LOVE Robert Heinlein.  As a science fiction author myself, I would be lying if I didn’t say he was an influence on me creatively.  

Great name-drop!

[FaustsBoon]

12/13/2013 at 3:00 pm

So, the pleasant surprises continue, and progress seems to be strong.  Every day recently has implied that there is something to my insanely low affirmation count, script, in my mind…

People may have forgotten, but as a disabled man, my wife and I have some unique challenges, etc…  One such has always been helping me transfer when I am going to take a bath, etc…

Last night, my wife was helping me do just that, and without asking, just sort of started helping me bathe (without need…) and said, “Let me help you with that…”  Well, within a minute she was washing my cock for me… and doing so in a way that was…. intense than necessary.  I mentioned how good it felt, and that was apparently all it took to get her to begin a very enthusiast, soapy, hand-job.

She was great, and as unsolicited surprises go, it was a wonderful one.  She was also super affectionate and submissive throughout the night.

This means, in the last six days, we’ve had sex, or she has performed sex acts, four times.  I am loving that, and have made sure to remind her at every turn how incredibly happy I have been.

[Qwerty]

12/13/2013 at 5:02 pm

Congrats Faust on your continued success and your positive reinforcement will increase your chances of further success and for the changes to take a more permanent hold.

[J66R]

12/14/2013 at 2:24 am

OT I know but, are you published?

I would be interested in any of your work.

[Fizbin]

12/14/2013 at 12:42 pm

@J66R said:
OT I know but, are you published?

I would be interested in any of your work.

I don’t know if FaustsBoon feels the same way, but as a published author myself, as much as I’d like to get more copies of my work sold, I’m extremely hesitant to break my anonymity by mentioning the titles of my work here. In my case, even mentioning the subject matter in too much detail could get me into trouble as there are so few published works on my particular topic.

[eldrin81]

12/14/2013 at 1:11 pm

Ya J66R, this isn’t exactly a place the public would view in high esteem or condone.

[J66R]

12/14/2013 at 4:37 pm

Oh I understand…really I do.

I’m sure in my profession, if existing and potential business associates knew I was here they would likely misinterpret my participation, at best. Or possibly breakout the torches and pitchfork and tie me to a dunking wheel or something. At the very least I’d likely be losing all my clients.

I’m always on the look out for good authors, though. Seems like so many of the new ones that are so hyped are just that, hyped. I wonder how so many of them get so well capitalized that they can have the great cover art, professional and peer reviews from all the right names, have so many copies in print and on the shelf, and the content be so raw and undeveloped. And a lot of the authors from the 70’s to the 90’s trying to make a comeback in the last few years will pickup an old plotline. They often seem to have kind of lost their focus in a rush to align with one political ideology or another focusing more on delivering a message than the story. Kind of like dumping your table scraps by the truckload in your garden without letting it compost first.

Not that I mind stories that center on political ideologies, Azimov, Rand, Clarke, Heinlein, Donaldson, Niven, Anderson all had distinctly political themes on occasion if not always, many of which I vehemently disagree with. But I am a grownup and have the ability to compartmentalize between the fantasy world of a book and reality and can focus on the believability of the story in its own right and extol the talent and skill of the author.

And then pick apart the politics mercilessly later .

But, no worries, I let my love for that particular genre of the art get ahead of me.

[FaustsBoon]

12/16/2013 at 12:36 pm

Well, as others have said, I respectfully don’t talk about my work as i’d like to keep my budding successes moving in the right direction.  😉  It doesn’t mean I don’t have a great appreciation for a good conversation on the subject, though.

For the moment, staying on original topic, I just thought that i’d mention that we had another good weekend.  We made love on Saturday (ironically, her increasingly wild half is bleeding into her romantic half, as even during true love-making, intimacy, she started telling me to “fill my pussy with cum…”), and last night, in a shared email account’s trash bin (in an attempt to hide it), I saw an e-receipt for exactly the kind of fetish lingerie I told her I wanted to see her in on my birthday… the same piece of which she said was tacky and ridiculous even a month or so earlier.  

[eldrin81]

12/16/2013 at 2:00 pm

awesome Faust. So happy for you. Looks like your marriage is blooming once more!

[J66R]

12/16/2013 at 6:05 pm

RE: Sci-Fi

Don’t worry. My previous post was meant as an apology for letting my nearly half-century of enslavement to that genre of literature momentarily over-rule the realization for inherent anonymity. I won’t mention  it again.

On topic from here on:

Excellent to hear. The success you guys have had really encourages me to continue on even though I’ve hit a bit of a stagnant plateau.

To hear about a woman going from disinterest (at best) to seeming to enthusiastically calls for sex acts with her man, and in such a provocatively raw terminology, (Reference the “…whorish best..” quote.) that is exactly the way it should be.

And for her to go out of her way to create a surprise for you like that, fantastic.

Congrats…keep up the good effort.

[tonguester4_69]

12/17/2013 at 2:12 pm

Gongrats man. I’m happy that your happy.

[FaustsBoon]

12/30/2013 at 5:03 pm

Well, the last week has been exceptional… really great, and despite not being one-to-one with the desires of my scripts, the over-all trend has been positive to a degree I didn’t expect.

A week ago was my birthday, and for brevity I will simply say that in the last seven days we have had sex three times, I received two blowjobs, and one surprise handjob.  All this from a wife who a year ago could often go two weeks with maybe one sexual encounter.

The naughty lingerie never came out, as we had in-laws, etc… and a very busy time, but it became a fine running joke, and we keep talking about how it will be making a kinky appearance shortly (it has been hanging in her bathroom, just teasing away…)

Other items of note.  She has been very jokey about sex, even joking about being kinky, some very naughty sex acts, submission, etc…  So while she hasn’t been incredibly submissive per se, we have had as much sex as I wanted, and submission and kink is at least floating around in her psyche, for her to be joking about it.

Ironically, I was on the cusp of changing some of the script to foster more desire on her part, and really ramp up her need for sex, a sexual addiction, and use that to drive her submission… but this week was so overwhelming that I think I might just need to keep doing what we’re doing, and see what persists.

I made sure, throughout the week, to tell her how happy our increased sex-life was making me, how much fun I have been having, etc…  One of those items of praise even resulted in me finding her, the next day, shaving her pussy, without my asking, just because she knows I like it that way.

All in all, rousing success, and fingers crossed.  She’s back at work today and I already worry that she’ll slip into her, “i’m too tired/ i’m too stressed, maybe tomorrow” mode…. but we shall see.  🙂

[seekenq]

12/30/2013 at 5:15 pm

Congratulations Faust,

Sounds like things are moving along very well.

One thought / Question:

For wives that work full time would it make sense to add an affirmation around always conserving some energy for sex ?

Best of luck with the return to work.

Hopefully you can keep the momentum you already created.

[eldrin81]

12/30/2013 at 6:30 pm

Out of curiosty Faust, what were you playing/how often during your last few weeks? I know you mentioned a lean and mean script of about 26 lines or so? Would you mind sharing it for study?

[FaustsBoon]

12/31/2013 at 12:12 am

@eldrin81 said:
Out of curiosty Faust, what were you playing/how often during your last few weeks? I know you mentioned a lean and mean script of about 26 lines or so? Would you mind sharing it for study?

I have been playing ONE file since our anniversary, so about a month now.  Actually today marks one-month exactly.  It is, as my journal says, an ULTRA focused, one script playlist.  The file is 26 lines long, and even then only 19 unique affirmations (so a few appear repeatedly).  The total play-time is about a minute and a half.

We play this file ALL night, every night, as a rain file, and as often as possible its on in the background during the day as a silent.  Due to work, this means her day-time exposure is anywhere from 2hrs a day, to 10hrs… and obviously the 8hrs or so at night.

I’ve been finding the shorter, extremely focused script much more effective, and absolutely refuse to even consider changing the script more than once a month.  Even then, my preference is to continue using the same script while i’m still seeing improvement.

Honestly, over ambition, and impatience has always been the bane of these subliminals, and is the, in my opinion, number one reason people don’t get the “miracle” results they hope for.

[eldrin81]

12/31/2013 at 3:31 am

About how many topics do you cover in your short script and what were they?

[themistocles]

12/31/2013 at 11:45 pm

Hey Faust,

any chance you could post it?

[FaustsBoon]

01/04/2014 at 8:32 pm

I usually give up on posting my scripts as I find this forum’s censorship filter infuriating, and don’t feel like we should all rewrite our scripts to get them to work when a d-list webmaster could fix that for all of us in fifteen minutes.

That said, the script deals with four very focused and interconnected themes…  It is essentially, “I am proud of my kinky side /women respect me for being kinky” which segues into “I love being kinky for my husband /My husband’s happiness is all that matters to me” which turns into “Sex with my husband makes us both happy / I love sex constantly”, and finally, “I love submission / I am proud of my submission / Submissiveness makes my husband happy, making my husband happy means everything.”  

Those aren’t the exact lines, but those are the four themes and I have one flow into the next with transitionary lines.  As I said, its only 26 affirmations, 19 unique affirmations.

And you know… it seems to still work.  :-p

Currently I am at about 90% success when I ask for something sexual.  It might be sex, a bj, or hj…. but 90% of the time, if I ask for it, I get something.  If I am specific, usually asking for a bj, she will usually do so about… oh… 50% of the time?  Its where she still has hang-ups, but even when she doesn’t want to, she won’t get upset or cranky, and will happily do something else.

And honestly, 75% of this progress has come since mid-November when I switched to this ultra short method.  It has taken decent progress and made it wonderful progress.  🙂

[themistocles]

01/04/2014 at 9:57 pm

Faust,

Awesome, thanks for the help!  Am working on my own focused sub and am limiting it to the sub 30 affirmations range, including some of the “I have always felt this way” affs that seem from others experience to cement the change.  Also, in dialog with my wife, we discussed her objectives for the new year and I am tailoring the subs to reflect dimensions of her stated goals.  For instance, her goal is to work out more, so I would add a sub that ties working out to sex.

Understand your frustration with the posting engine as well.  Seems a simple fix. 

[eldrin81]

01/05/2014 at 12:32 am

I was inspired by your lean and mean script and have done similar. Saw too much back pedaling with my happiness being her primary goal, and being sub missive. And my three scripts running at the same time seemed to be too much. So I made a 22 liner concerning similar ideas as above.

[FaustsBoon]

01/13/2014 at 1:09 pm

I haven’t updated in far too long, so I thought I would drop in and share a few words.

All continues to go well, ranging from amazing, to ok. Mind you, an “ok” week, is still better than when I started this program about nine months ago. An “ok” week might mean sex once, and a couple handjobs/blowjobs. On the other-hand, sometimes the flood-gates open, those last weird reservations go hibernate, and we’ll have sex three/four times, etc…

I think a less focused on, but no less appreciated take away has been the improvements in my wife’s over-all demeanor. One roughly consistent element of my scripts has been submission, and also concern with my happiness. The impact has been profound as I do feel I have a more supportive, and positive spouse who is more concerned than ever with making sure i’m happy (even if she doesn’t follow instructions/requests 100% of the time).

We’re going on two months since I started the “lean and mean” 25 line script, and in general it has been my best results yet. I do think the lines which flopped simply have no context in her subconscious, and as such I will probably do some rewording/tonal changes in the next week or so. I’ll definitely keep you up to date on that front.

[eldrin81]

01/13/2014 at 2:10 pm

You mentioned once before that your wife is very resistant to criticism and can throw tantrums/act like a brat if criticized (I think thats how you worded it?) Has that changed at all, and have you considered a script for that?

[Fizbin]

01/14/2014 at 11:25 am

Congratulations! When I read of your (as well as Qwerty’s and Tap’s) successes, I find myself wishing I had the luxury of being able to give my wife constant exposure. Your experiences are proof that consistency is one of the biggest factors.
Carry on, and best wishes for your refinement phase!

[FaustsBoon]

01/14/2014 at 2:14 pm

Eldrin: I have not tried is expressly BUT as a side effect of improved submission (along with my acting more assertive in positive ways) she is… hmmm… longer tempered? I can criticize something she is doing and she won’t usually jump straight to acting like a child. She still will on occasion (usually when work and working out has left her particularly tired she’ll act like a brat), but it is somewhat better.

Fizbin: Thanks man! Constant exposure coupled with short script/fewer affirmations has been a necessity, I have found. My wife is just sooooo stubborn, and really needs a specific message beaten into her head for anything to work. I love her, but my God can she be dense sometimes.

So, i’m writing, and with QWERTY’s help, am recording my newer script. I’m taking one for the team, I think, but am experimenting with how the brain receives the word “addicted”.

I have learned that words like “slut” tend to have no result with my wife when used in scripts, as she has too negative a connotation built in. Likewise, I think “sex-slave” doesn’t have any impact, as she has no context for what a sex-slave would act like, per se…

I am, however, going to see how she reacts to affirmations intended to encourage an “addiction” to sex.

We’re still at a place where she will enjoy sex, but won’t seek it out. Its possible my many month focus on submission lead to her appreciating sex as part of making me happy, but I don’t yet see her loving it enough to ask for it.

Is “addicted” something subliminals can enforce/engage? Will it have a negative connotations?

We’ll find out…

I’ve also inserted some circular logic…. IE

A good wife wants sex constantly
My husband deserves a good wife
I want to be a good wife for my husband
I want sex constantly

I’m hoping bits like that create a circular association where all those affirmations reinforce one-another.

Still going with a sledgehammer, same settings as Qwerty has used in the past to great effect, and have still kept the script down to 28/29 affirmations, of which about 20 unique ones exist.

[eldrin81]

01/14/2014 at 2:33 pm

Ya. I believe you on that shorter side of things. On Jan 1 I made a new script on the short end of about 24 lines or so, but I split the blocks up into their component ideas and repeated them an equal number of times for 10+ minutes. So I ended up with 3 scripts together that total about 24 lines and 1:50 seconds or so in length. But they each repeat 30 times before the next one, so the first one is 10 min, the second 17, and the third(the 12 liner) is 27 min.
Fizbin: How long are you usually away? Does she listen to mp3’s and such while you are gone? if so could you feasibly recode some mp3’s with subs? Or set up a hidden mp3 player in the main living room? This would of course be difficult but I think it could be feasible. Unless your wife is snoopy as heck. I’m lucky in that mine is NOT tech saavy, and not remotely snoopy, and has no attention to detail. Makes it super easy to hide subliminals and such. Heck I have typed a script and coded it into a subliminal on a computer right in front of her. She is so absorbed in her ipad or shows she never notices if I am careful.

[eldrin81]

01/14/2014 at 2:44 pm

FaustsBoon: I have noticed similar with my wife when the submissive scripts are in effect. Though I have the following script in the wings for future deployment:

I am accepting of criticism.
Eldrin knows what is best for me.
I accept Eldrin’s criticism.
Eldrin’s criticism helps me improve.
I enjoy improving myself for Eldrin.
I love a good challenge.
I always face my fears and flaws.
Change is good for me.
I accept the change Eldrin suggests.
I love changing and improving for Eldrin.
Eldrin knows what is best for me.

I don’t know if you could actually get her truly addicted to sex, but she might get so into having sex that it would be merely splitting hairs. I mean addicted would be she can’t go without it, but just wanting it all the time isn’t necessarily addiction. But still we often use stronger words to encourage behavior hoping atleast they will meet in the middle. I have the words
I love to have kinky sex with Eldrin everyday.
I am so horny for Eldrin everyday.
My wife hasn’t started having sex everyday, but she has been having it more frequently, and with more ‘zest’.
She has begun displaying, during intercourse, behavior I myself have been guilty of when I am very very horny. Wanting to gnaw and nibble at me during, like some hungry animal. She NEVER did anything like that in the past.
So I think strong language can bring them from their side of the spectrum, closer to where we want them, even if they don’t end up at the final destination we want them at.
I absolutely love the idea of circular logic, and keep forgetting to try it out in my scripts.
I think Fizbin had a couple lines in his long custom about the more she thought about her husband, the more she wanted sex, and the more she wanted sex, the more she thought about her husband.

[tonguester4_69]

01/14/2014 at 6:00 pm

Your thoughts on an addiction script, fuels a few thoughts of my own for a script. Like yours my wife usually enjoys sex when we have it, but has an attitude that it’s primarily to make me happy, not something for herself.Keep us posted on how this works out for you.

[FaustsBoon]

01/14/2014 at 6:57 pm

@tonguester4_69 said:

Your thoughts on an addiction script, fuels a few thoughts of my own for a script. Like yours my wife usually enjoys sex when we have it, but has an attitude that it’s primarily to make me happy, not something for herself.Keep us posted on how this works out for you.

Will do.

Eldrin, you’re precisely right on “Extreme” language. My thought is, if I want her to reach say “level 5” I write the script for “level 10” hoping it equalizes out, and I actually end up with what I wanted all along. Thus far that seems to be working. I’ll usually include more extreme “kinks” which she has mentioned in an unguarded moment, not because I want those per se, but because I know it taps into happy associations she has with the work “kinky”.

I’m really hoping this one works. Like Tonguester says, its wonderful that we’re having more sex, but now I want her to really engage in it more. While she is definitely enjoying herself during the act, I want her to crave it and hope for it as much (or more?) than I do.

[eldrin81]

01/14/2014 at 7:59 pm

Ya. Same here. My wife during nov, dec, it was like pulling teeth to get some lovin, and she only did it for me, though halfway through she was always enjoying it too. Now she is actually getting into it rather quickly, though there is nothing to say of overt displays of wanting sex, or initiation of sex, outside the bedroom. I just get horny myself and decide I want some, and she complies, but then quickly gets into it. Still an improvement.

[FaustsBoon]

01/18/2014 at 5:40 pm

So another exceedingly positive week to report.

We haven’t started the new file I referenced previously, quite yet (its probably another day out, actually), so this was yet another week of the old one. Its going on the last week before it will have been in rotation for two full months.

Firstly, this was one of those weeks where the script just seemed to shine. My wife casually mentioned she has been trying to be better about intimacy, and boy was she. In seven days we made love three times, and she gave me a blowjob and handjob on two other days. Five-out-of-seven days is tied with X-mas/Birthday week for absolute best ever, status.

Shockingly, last night she also told me what she wants for Valentine’s Day, “I want to get my nipples pierced.”

What? :-p

So, before we ever met the wife had pierced nipples, and ended up removing them before we’d known one another. That said, on a few occasions I mentioned wishing I knew the wild and kinky her which I seem to have mostly missed out on. Well, my script has had a few lines on being kinky and being proud of it, and a bunch of lines regarding doing things to make me happy above all else. Well, while I haven’t seriously ever asked her to do that, it is interesting that this is how her mind has seemed to manifest part of her affirmations.

All in all, shockingly fun week. God… these programs really, really do work without enough patience, discipline, and careful planning/execution.

[tonguester4_69]

01/18/2014 at 7:46 pm

Glad to hear ya’ll are doing so well. I’m also working to come up with a script for my wife, to get her not only more interested in sex, but to crave and need it for herself.It’s been a really long time since she put up any resistance to sex, but real desire for it,has proven to be a real hurdle for me. When you put your script in place please post it, so those of us working on this can share.

[themistocles]

01/19/2014 at 5:01 am

Think Faust is waiting for the word filter to get sorted. Can’t be soon enough!

[trainer81]

01/19/2014 at 1:20 pm

Soon as we get the new server up and running… Check Dream Girls twitter for updates

[FaustsBoon]

01/29/2014 at 12:35 pm

Just a brief update as I have very little of substance to report.

Things continues to go “alright” with any great week usually followed by an average to mediocre week. All said though, things are still fine. To my wife’s defense this current mediocre week is largely due to her having a cold, and my desire to let her get well, and stay healthy.

Noteworthy though, is that I did start the new program which I have mentioned. She now listens to a twenty-five line, “addicted to sex”/libido script, which has a sub-theme of wanting me to be happy, and wanting to be a great wife. We’re on day five of the new program, so there is little to report, but there also hasn’t been any back-sliding either with her staying generally submissive and doting on me a little extra, in an effort to keep me happy (also her asking if I am happy, CONSTANTLY, if I had a nice day, etc…)

A small item… the first thing from the new script may have manifested as we went to sleep last night. I had mentioned to my wife recently that I am hoping to make our sex-life a bigger part of our life in general since we’ve been so happy, and everything else is going so wonderfully. She didn’t say much either way… Well, last night, she takes on a ridiculous, caricature “porn-star” voice and says, “I’ll show you a…. GOOD NIGHT”, in response to my saying good-night. She wasn’t being ironic either… I think, and God love her… my wife is just pretty clueless as to how to “act sexy”. I appreciated the effort, and made sure to tell her as soon as she was feeling better, i’d make sure she lived up to that promise.

[J66R]

01/29/2014 at 1:17 pm

Haha, that’s my wife.
Every now and again, since I started this, she has randomly acted WAY out of character and done or said something like that. And I agree, she is pretty clueless as to how to “act sexy”. You can explain it to them all you want, but I honestly don’t think most of them get it on a conscious level, or maybe are capable of “getting it”. They seem to think sexy is an “act”, something that you turn on and off like a light switch.

At least as far as I go, I am up front about what I think is sexy. I tell her what I want and the things I ask for are what I think are sexy. And I think most men are like that. But, the wife, she seems to completely ignore what I think or tell her is sexy, and go straight for some Daytime-soap-on-crack version of retardo-porn. Sorry but I have no other idea of how to describe it. I sometimes can’t tell if she is really trying to act sexy or is deliberately making a complete over-the-top caricature out of it for the double reason of “I tried” and to surreptitiously turn me off and get me to stop asking or if she is really-really trying.

But then if your wife is constantly asking about you happiness and satisfaction, it sounds like it leans to the latter.

Much luck to you.

[FaustsBoon]

01/31/2014 at 6:01 pm

So, weird issue to report, but one concerning enough that, if it continues, I might have to do an emergency script re-write, despite the last few days being great (and also having a Godlike half-hour BJ from her at one point…)

I cannot for the life of me explain why this would be the case, but my wife has been incredibly insecure lately. Last night while out she saw me being gregarious with a couple other girls… just in a pleasant way, nothing resembling flirting because I adore my wife. She, not-joking kept saying, I deserve better than her, and if I wanted to flirt with them I could, and she knows I could have them if I wanted them.

She kept saying I deserved anything I want, and she was ok with anything I needed to be happy.

I felt terrible, as she seemed so sad. I spent the better part of the evening reminding her that while we aren’t always in perfect bliss, and that I do wish she would do more for me sexually, that I love her and am loyal to her for life, and that she has no reasons to worry.

This behavior is so out of nowhere, and so new, and I only can guess it is related to my script lines…

“My husband deserves and amazing wife.
An amazing wife wants sex all the time.
I want to be an amazing wife.
I want sex all the time.”

[eldrin81]

01/31/2014 at 7:22 pm

Sounds like you hit the nail on the head there. Also You are actively working on getting her addicted to you, and she has already been trained to put your happiness first. Jealousy like that stems from fear of loss, and low self worth. Work on that in the script, Maybe a line in that clause about “I am an amazing wife because of these things” or some similiar to affirm that she is those things. And maybe some lines about ” I feel secure in my marriage. I know my husband loves only me. etc”

[FaustsBoon]

01/31/2014 at 9:18 pm

Good thoughts man.

My wife IS also going through her monthly cycle right now, so she knows she is kinda hormonal. I think that combined with the new script (which has only been in play for a week, mind you) have combined to play up some kind of unintended insecurity. I love my wife, and obviously have no desire to leave her feeling badly so i’ve made sure to be doubly supportive and loving for the next couple days.

Rather than panic and change script, I do want to see what shakes out once her hormone levels balance out. The script seems pretty potent and i’d like to see what it does under better circumstances. That said, if the next few days don’t help her in a positive way, i’ll go back and add a few lines like those you mentioned. I obviously want her feeling good about herself, and us.

[eldrin81]

01/31/2014 at 9:27 pm

Good thinking. I know from personal experience what women go through when hormones are out of whack. I had the unfortunate experience of getting some of my wife’s pregnancy pains, the major one being mood swings. And along with that came fits of jealousy when seeing her around other men. Granted some of the things I observed were legit, but was unintentional on her part, even if they were a bit thoughtless of her. But my reactions were very uncharacteristic of me, and way off the charts.

[Tap]

02/01/2014 at 3:40 am

It is possible there could be something else in your script that is causing that change. I know you haven’t really posted your whole script, so I couldn’t say.

I would say be careful trying to get her “addicted” to sex. I have thought about going this route before but decided to go against it because of unintended consequences. For example, the general connotation of an addict is negative. A drug addict, gambling addict, and what you’re going for, a sex addict. From your lines above, you want her to be an amazing wife, but now you’re calling her an addict. An addict generally doesn’t make an amazing wife.

These conflicting ideas might be causing her this insecurity. I’d recommend rewriting your script to keep it positive all around.

[Fizbin]

02/01/2014 at 11:06 am

I tend to agree with the unintended consequence theory. Like the “out of my league” stuff from another script, it appears that even the aspirational statements aren’t quite enough to get over the initial idea that she isn’t good enough.

[eldrin81]

02/01/2014 at 1:26 pm

Ya I still think it’s those lines you listed. I mean right from the first line, you are setting her up for the idea that you deserve something more, and that she is not that. So you could either remove that first line, or add a few affirming she is an amazing wife. I always try to word my stuff as if she has already arrived at her destination though, but I know you and qwertys style is to start with what she is, and lead her to where you want. In this particular clause that may be working to the detriment. As far as the negative view of the word addict, that’s a little iffy. You will definitely have to be the judge of that, as some words like kinky, or negative to some but not to others, so maybe bring the word up in conversation and gauge her on it.

[tonguester4_69]

02/01/2014 at 5:07 pm

I agree that possibly the wording of addict may be causing an issue. I know in the case of my wife there are several words, i either have to re-define in the script, or avoid completely.

[Tap]

02/01/2014 at 7:44 pm

@Fizbin said:

I tend to agree with the unintended consequence theory. Like the “out of my league” stuff from another script, it appears that even the aspirational statements aren’t quite enough to get over the initial idea that she isn’t good enough.

True. Before in my submissive script I had the following lines:

My husband is above me and I am below him.
I am so lucky to be with him and am out of his league.

My theory was putting her down and myself higher in her eyes, might help our relationship. Instead, she started telling me I should find someone else because she wasn’t good enough for me. She also started getting sadder and insecure about herself, accusing me of cheating often. Since then, I took out those lines and that type of behavior from hers has stopped.

My wife has an addictive personality. She’s addicted to facebook games, which isn’t that bad in itself, but has been addicted to other bad stuff in the past. At least for me, introducing the idea of her as an addict to something might get her starting those negative addictions again from the past, which I’ve fought to stop.

[FaustsBoon]

02/02/2014 at 4:15 pm

Well the only instances where I use the word “addict” outright is a single line which says, “I am addicted to sex, and am proud of it.” Beyond that, I call it an “addiction” script only because it encourages her to think about sex much more often, to be more enthusiastic for it, etc… Honestly, and i’ll share the script soon, it is a pretty safe script. If anything, the only lines causing the issue might have been the ones I listed before, and even then only because it happened to coincide with my wife’s cycle.

The last few days have actually been fine, and have gotten much closer to the results I had hoped for. She’s given me two more extremely enthusiastic blowjobs without my needing to push for them, and she has, of her own accord, mentioned wanting to “be together” as soon as her cycle is done. She’s also had sex dreams during a couple nights, has asked what kind of sexy lingerie I want for her for Valentine’s Day, and also told me she needs more “cute” underwear for daily life, as she wants to go back to sexier underwear than her boring panties. All in all, I really do think a woman’s hormone madness around her cycle was the particular offender, whereas the script has been ok.

[eldrin81]

02/28/2014 at 3:51 am

How goes the addiction Faust?

[FaustsBoon]

03/10/2014 at 4:29 pm

Well I haven’t written in forever, but mostly because there just hasn’t been anything to report.

I am using methods/levels/etc… which have proven to be quite successful in the past, but this has just been a brick-wall.

Apparently, even phrased in an enthusiastic way, “addiction” just either carries too much baggage, or the brain just can’t be tricked into it. Likewise, I haven’t found the circular logic to help either.

Disappointingly, we still have ok sex once, or MAYBE twice, a week… and in all ways progress has just stalled. My wife’s desire for sex hasn’t increased at all in 2014, and in reflection we had better success when the scripts were entirely focused on her making me happy, and doing it for me, instead of improving her own enjoyment/desire for sex.

Ironically, encouraging her to be submissive and just do whatever I wanted, proved more successful than trying to be selfless and helping her enjoy it for herself.

[eldrin81]

03/10/2014 at 5:12 pm

That kinda sucks. Still if she is doing it just for you and you have lines about it making her happy to make you happy. Is there possibly any physical reasons she might not be into it? Is she out of shape, or possibly suffering from low hormonal levels? Maybe convince her to have a blood work up and see

[tonguester4_69]

03/10/2014 at 5:31 pm

Sounds kind of where I’ve been at for awhile. I wish I could tell you I’d found an answer, but I haven’t. My wife will have sex whenever I want, but desire is lacking. As Eldrin said, it could be related to her hormones, or something her blood work might reveal. My wife recently had a work-up done and found out her system is low in vitamin D. Her doctor said this could be the reason for her lack of desire. She’s currently taking a vitamin D supplement to correct this, and maybe it will help we’ll see. In my case, at least my wife sincerely wants to change, so I keep hoping. If your wife wants to change, even if it’s only to make you happy, that’s something….

[gtbear]

03/10/2014 at 8:23 pm

I am glad to see you posting again.

I wonder if “addict” does not carry to much of a negative connotation?
Perhaps something like:
I need sex.
I need sex with FB.
I need sex with my husband.
I need sex with my master FB.
I think of sex with FB all the time.
I always want sex with my husband.
I always want sex with FB.
I always think about sex with FB.
I want sex with FB now.

that sorta thing might do better. It’s like BE the sex addict.

I’ve known a few strippers and met a few sex workers and not one of them was really into it because they were nymphos.
So, perhaps the acts on demand are more important from a male perspective? Just saying…

[Tap]

03/11/2014 at 2:14 am

I think way back when, I remember advising you that both are important to increase sex, which is her being submissive and making you happy as an important base, and then her general enjoyment with it.

I think you should have a second file as a base or foundation, about your happiness and her obeying you in general, and nothing to do about sex.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 1:02 pm

See, I remember that, TAP, and I feel like I tried to honor that advice. Even going to ultra short scripts, I made sure to always include 3-5 lines about my happiness, and wanting to make me happy. And what’s weird… in every OTHER area of life, it has absolutely worked. She really puts my happiness and desires first without fail, in all things BUT sex, where she can be weirdly selfish still. Her words suggest she is trying to be better there as well, but actions have never lined up consistantly.

As an austerity measure, upon advice of a friend, ye olde sage Qwerty, I am “cutting bait” on the files that just haven’t done much work, and am returning to the last files that seemed successful. That means my September or November script, which was back when my total playlist hovered around 60 affirmations. It feels strange going back to the “one long track” setup, but while it wasn’t 100% successful, it was, generally speaking, working better.

From there i’ll rework things and try to break down some barriers which may still exist which are keeping her from getting back into it.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 2:46 pm

I dunno about the long script. From reading your journal, things really started to take off and work when you mentioned starting your lean and mean script that was like 25 lines.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 3:21 pm

Well, I have been doing a lot of reviewing, and I realize that a bad habit has remained switching files so often that it has been really hard to get a read on what worked best. Even when I think i’m being patient as can be, I will end up using a file for six weeks or so, at most. As such, i’m looking at scripts that might’ve worked very well given more time. Who really knows?

I am fond of the lean, mean, scripts. I tend to feel having one script, of 25-ish lines in heavy rotation should logically work best. Thing is, I also feel like when scripts are that short, every line has to resonate PERFECTLY.

Last night, my wife, slightly frustrated said, “Sex is all I think about”, in regards to her worrying about having enough sex, etc… That line is from my addiction script, but is used in what I felt was a positive/exciting way, and yet here the reveal is that her trying to make me happy sexually, and thinking about sex constantly is her “worrying about it” in practice. She, as usual is all talk, and I don’t believe she was going to soon jump to actually delivering on the promises of all that sex she is supposedly thinking about, but a take away is still how dramatically INCORRECTLY the affirmations were heard/received.

Mid-April will mark one year here for me. The first few months were largely “lost” as I did what we all did, changed scripts/ideas way too often, had too much going at once, etc… but in general i’ll have been “mostly” correctly using the system for say, eight/nine months. In that time i’ve felt i’ve made progress, but have changed tone, etc… too often to see what I could really achieve/accomplish.

As such, i’m really trying to refocus back to the core of my plans…

Short term goal: Have much more sex, have much more oral sex, improve wife’s response to kink/submission ideas
Long term goal: I want a completely submissive, sex-slave wife, who enjoys her sexual submission, and in fact asks for it

I don’t know how far back to “reboot” my efforts, as I have had sporadic moments of seemingly great success. Thing is, its time for me and the subliminals to become consistent, and expect the same from my results.

Thoughts?

I’m considering going as far back as my original, Trainer made custom, which simply encourages the wife to feel loved and safe during sex, and safe and happy when I am dominant sexually. That is essentially going back to the start, but is also a file which I barely ran for a month before Qwerty and I started our string of customs which proved sometimes incredibly successful, and sometimes saw months of regression.

[trainer81]

03/11/2014 at 3:46 pm

Wow, fascinating how she reacted to being told to think about sex all the time. Definite learning moment for all of us.

I think you need to focus on getting her to enjoy whatever behavior you’re working on. Examples:
I enjoy fantasizing about sex with my husband.
I enjoy pleasing my husband.
Sucking my husband’s cock makes me feel happy.
Having sex with my husband relaxes me.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 3:47 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

I am fond of the lean, mean, scripts. I tend to feel having one script, of 25-ish lines in heavy rotation should logically work best. Thing is, I also feel like when scripts are that short, every line has to resonate PERFECTLY.

Ya I understand that pressure. I have had the best success myself with shorter 20 or less line scripts for complex subjects, and 10 or less for simpler subjects.

Last night, my wife, slightly frustrated said, “Sex is all I think about”, in regards to her worrying about having enough sex, etc… That line is from my addiction script, but is used in what I felt was a positive/exciting way, and yet here the reveal is that her trying to make me happy sexually, and thinking about sex constantly is her “worrying about it” in practice. She, as usual is all talk, and I don’t believe she was going to soon jump to actually delivering on the promises of all that sex she is supposedly thinking about, but a take away is still how dramatically INCORRECTLY the affirmations were heard/received.

I hear ya. Thats where possibly adding lines to help develop the proper understanding of your intent come into play IMO. In my submissive scripts I often used different synonyms to help convey the proper meaning of the word submissive, a word my wife never uses.

Short term goal: Have much more sex, have much more oral sex, improve wife’s response to kink/submission ideas
Long term goal: I want a completely submissive, sex-slave wife, who enjoys her sexual submission, and in fact asks for it

Goals are indeed important. Specific goals are better. How many times per week would be satisfactory for you for instance.

I don’t know how far back to “reboot” my efforts, as I have had sporadic moments of seemingly great success. Thing is, its time for me and the subliminals to become consistent, and expect the same from my results.

Thoughts?

I’m considering going as far back as my original, Trainer made custom, which simply encourages the wife to feel loved and safe during sex, and safe and happy when I am dominant sexually. That is essentially going back to the start, but is also a file which I barely ran for a month before Qwerty and I started our string of customs which proved sometimes incredibly successful, and sometimes saw months of regression.

Rather than reboot to an earlier script, why not just start fresh? Analyze your goals and let us help you construct a new script(s) to tackle those issues. I don’t think changing scripts every 4-6 weeks is “flip floppey” Either those scripts worked, and its time to move on, or they didn’t, and its time to attack the topic from a different angle. Less than that time frame, like both of us did in our early stages would definitely be a nono.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 3:51 pm

I really prefer the multi script playlist than a single custom myself. I find it helps me break the topics down into more focused themes. I have also been playing with lately tying things to a single idea or theme. For instance a good submission script might be: Master of the house. That one title contains much meaning, then you spend the rest of the script ‘explaining’ or elaborating that meaning, but its all nicely tied together. For instance maybe this:

FB is master of the house.
FB is my master.
I love my master.
My master takes care of me.
My happiness is FB’s happiness.
My life revolves around my master FB’s pleasure.
My master’s sexual pleasure is my top priority.
I enjoy serving my master FB.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 3:53 pm

I find it helps to break out OneNote, or Word, or Note pad, and just type out your goals, in outline format, and just break down the steps necessary to achieve them. Those steps might be attitudes that need to be changed to get there, or things YOU have to do, or behaviors that need modified to support another.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 4:02 pm

Here are some things I just came up with maybe to get the ball rolling, in addition to the above.
I love sex with FB.
I am always horny for FB.
Being horny motivates me.
I always save energy for sex with FB.
Pleasing FB makes me the happiest.
I feel safe and protected in FB’s sexual embrace.
Sex is the ultimate expression of my love for FB.

I love sucking FB’s dick often.
Sucking FB’s dick is ecstasy.
Sucking FB’s dick relaxes me.
I enjoy sucking FB’s dick the most.
I am a selfless wife.
Sucking FB’s dick is an expression of selflessness.
I am a submissive wife.
Sucking FB’s dick show’s my submission.
I enjoy giving FB a blowjob more than anything.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 4:06 pm

Of course, there are probably ‘favorite’ lines from many of your previous scripts that you felt were effective too. Culling those and molding them into a script seemed to help the last time. Thinking about your long history here, its probably easy to start suffering from analysis paralysis. Your script will never be perfect. Better to just get something good and proceed, course correcting every 3-6 weeks or so with minor changes until you sail your ship to greener shores.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 4:22 pm

@eldrin81 said:

Here are some things I just came up with maybe to get the ball rolling, in addition to the above.
I love sex with FB.
I am always horny for FB.
Being horny motivates me.
I always save energy for sex with FB.
Pleasing FB makes me the happiest.
I feel safe and protected in FB’s sexual embrace.
Sex is the ultimate expression of my love for FB.

I love sucking FB’s dick often.
Sucking FB’s dick is ecstasy.
Sucking FB’s dick relaxes me.
I enjoy sucking FB’s dick the most.
I am a selfless wife.
Sucking FB’s dick is an expression of selflessness.
I am a submissive wife.
Sucking FB’s dick show’s my submission.
I enjoy giving FB a blowjob more than anything.

Wow… That is actually a wicked-good script. You know, for one of the “newer” folks here, you’ve shown a real knack for this. Good going.

So to address some of my goals, and my thinking I came up with the following…

I feel like it is entirely possible that I didn’t lay a thorough enough foundation. Qwerty and I had extremely similar wives, started around the same time, and as he has graciously helped me record nearly every script, we used the same methods. That said, he outpaced my progress at every turn, and I have never had but glimpses of the successes he did.

I think the problem lay in my wife’s complex relationship with sex. As a victim of abuse, even once her life improved dramatically, she carried a sense that being hyper-sexual was one of the only ways she could make a man want her. As such, even when we started dating, she was hyper-sexual, which worked for me as i’m kinky too, and all was good.

Think was, she now openly tells me that she finally understood and felt loved with me, and that turned into her needing to test, for herself, whether we could love one-another without sex. She admits now that a year ago, which was at our worst and when I turned to this site, it was because she decided to deprive me of sex to see if i’d stick around. She knows it wasn’t healthy either… but she’s always been occasionally selfish, and like I said, her complex relationship with sex probably resulted in her feeling oddly good knowing I would still care for her and stick around for good, because of course I genuinely love her.

That said, she’s never come back from that mode, and never fully warmed back up to enjoying, trusting and just plain having fun with sex. She talks a lot about trying to, but this was a woman who was so into sex that she once had to masturbate every night before she could fall asleep, to someone who says men and women just have different “needs” and that she’s ok without much sex. She also claims she is stressed because she knows I want/need more sex to be happy, but she’s concerned i’m pushing her too far and that she can’t get “comfortable” with what I want/need as often as I do. Again, a LOT of that reads as her selfish side being back to her old tricks, and her just not being willing to make the effort to make me happy, especially as she’s confirmed i’ll still love her and be here.

This leaves me with this broad notion of attack…

Like it or not, I think I need to hit two primary goals right now. I need a script which….

1. Makes her love/feel safe with/trust/enjoy her sexuality again
2. Reminds her of how sexual she can be, and how much fun it was.

From there, the secondary goals for right now, which I need both for progress sake, and to lay groundwork for the long term…

3. She enjoys and craves submission sexually and the things relating to that (trust, obedience, etc…)
4. She wants to make me happy, and prioritizes keeping me happy and satisfied in our life
5. She enjoys oral sex, giving me blowjobs frequently in particular

My short term goal, SPECIFICALLY would be to begin working on those five points, with an eye toward the longer term goals of kink, sex-slave, etc… and to return to having sex 2-3 times per week, plus 1-2 blowjobs per week.

If I could have that success I could finally feel I had laid the groundwork for years to come… but those were the places I expected to be right now, and never quite did.

So Eldrin and co…. what do you make of that? Where can we go from here?

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 4:31 pm

I like that ‘fun’ part. That would make a good line all in itself. Here are some lines I am thinking:

I am comfortable with my sexuality.
I am proud of my sex life. ( I believed someone here used something similiar, maybe you, and it did good)
I think sex is playful and fun.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 4:37 pm

@eldrin81 said:

I like that ‘fun’ part. That would make a good line all in itself. Here are some lines I am thinking:

I am comfortable with my sexuality.
I am proud of my sex life. ( I believed someone here used something similiar, maybe you, and it did good)
I think sex is playful and fun.

See, I worry about telling her she’s comfortable with her sexuality, because at present, she’s “comfortable” with it being essentially non-existent. :-p

I don’t know… I feel like I really want to try some wonder-script to create a new foundation to build from. Think there’s any way to effectively get those five points into a foundationary script?

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 4:44 pm

1. Makes her love/feel safe with/trust/enjoy her sexuality again

I love FB.
Sex is the best expression of my love.
I love having sex with FB.
I feel safe and protected in FB’s sexual embrace.
I trust FB completely.
I enjoy my sex life.
I am proud of my sexuality.
Sex is love.

2. Reminds her of how sexual she can be, and how much fun it was.

I am a very sexual wife.
I am always horny for FB.
I think sex is fun and playful.
Sex relaxes me.
I enjoy sex more than anything.
I let loose during sex with FB.
I crave wild, kinky sex with FB.
I love rocking FB’s world.

From there, the secondary goals for right now, which I need both for progress sake, and to lay groundwork for the long term…

3. She enjoys and craves submission sexually and the things relating to that (trust, obedience, etc…)

Sexual Submission

I am a submissive wife.
I think submission is bliss.
I enjoy giving myself completely to FB.
I crave submission to FB.
My body belongs to FB.
My body is a sex toy for FB.
My body brings me and FB great pleasure.
I am in ecstasy giving my body to FB.
I always submit sexually to FB.

4. She wants to make me happy, and prioritizes keeping me happy and satisfied in our life,

see Master of the house above

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 4:48 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

@eldrin81 said:

I like that ‘fun’ part. That would make a good line all in itself. Here are some lines I am thinking:

I am comfortable with my sexuality.
I am proud of my sex life. ( I believed someone here used something similiar, maybe you, and it did good)
I think sex is playful and fun.

See, I worry about telling her she’s comfortable with her sexuality, because at present, she’s “comfortable” with it being essentially non-existent. :-p

I don’t know… I feel like I really want to try some wonder-script to create a new foundation to build from. Think there’s any way to effectively get those five points into a foundationary script?

hehe. Missed this post. Ya. This is part of my process. First comes the brain storming, and throwing of all ideas/statements on the table. Then pruning and preening, and seeking input etc, molding the script like a sculptor.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 5:05 pm

Alright, if a single custom is what you still want, here is a 30 liner. I don’t think 30 lines is too much if its a single custom and the only thing playing.

FB is my master.
I love my master.
I trust my master FB.
My master takes care of me.
My happiness is FB’s happiness.
My life revolves around my master FB’s pleasure.
My master’s sexual pleasure is my top priority.
My master’s pleasure is my submission.
I am a submissive wife.
I think submission is bliss.
I enjoy giving myself completely to FB.
I crave submission to FB.
My body belongs to FB.
My body is a sex toy for FB.
My body brings me and FB great pleasure.
I am in ecstasy giving my body to FB.
I always submit sexually to FB.
Sex is the best expression of my love.
I love having sex with FB.
I am always horny for FB.
Being horny motivates and energizes me.
I feel safe and protected in FB’s sexual embrace.
I enjoy my sex life more than anything.
I am proud of my sexuality.
Sex is love.
I am a very sexual wife.
I think sex is fun and playful.
Sex relaxes me.
I let loose during sex with FB.
I crave wild, kinky sex with FB.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 5:12 pm

Looks like if you put 2 second pauses between sentences, via Tools>>Pauses and Text Insertions, it runs about 2:30 minutes. or about 24 repeats per hour, or 184 repeats during an 8 hour sleep.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 5:14 pm

Obviously it doesn’t tackle the oral thing, with some more pruning maybe we can fit that in, though I hate just ‘tacking’ a block of text on when working with a single script, and I really hate scripts that run more than 30 lines, but i suppose, if its the only thing playing and it flows nicely, given enough time, any script will work whether its multi playlist, or a single custom.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 5:16 pm

FB is my master.
I love my master.
I trust my master FB.
My master takes care of me.
My happiness is FB’s happiness.
My life revolves around my master FB’s pleasure.
My master’s sexual pleasure is my top priority.
My master’s pleasure is my submission.
I am a submissive wife.
I think submission is bliss.
I enjoy giving myself completely to FB.
I crave submission to FB.
My body belongs to FB.
My body is a sex toy for FB.
My body brings me and FB great pleasure.
I am in ecstasy giving my body to FB.
I always submit sexually to FB.
Sex is the best expression of my love.
I love having sex with FB.
I am always horny for FB.
Being horny motivates and energizes me.
I feel safe and protected in FB’s sexual embrace.
I enjoy my sex life more than anything.
I am proud of my sexuality.
Sex is love.
I am a very sexual wife.
I think sex is fun and playful.
Sex relaxes me.
I let loose during sex with FB.
I crave wild, kinky sex with FB.
I often intiate sex with a blowjob.
I enjoy giving FB a blowjob more than anything.
I love sucking FB’s dick often.
Sucking FB’s dick is ecstasy.
Sucking FB’s dick relaxes me.
I enjoy sucking FB’s dick the most.
I am a selfless wife.
Sucking FB’s dick shows my selflessness.
I am a submissive wife.
Sucking FB’s dick show’s my submission.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 5:17 pm

Do me a favor, Eldrin… Shoot me an email at faustsboon at the gmail… :-p (sorry, bypassing spam-filters). We can brain storm more easily there. :-p

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 5:19 pm

Alright, time for a break. My writing ‘muscles’ are spent for the time being if anyone else wants to make some suggestions or try to prune the above script back, have at it. Just don’t cut the fat, and lose the meaning in the process

[gtbear]

03/11/2014 at 5:19 pm

FaustsBoon,

“Last night, my wife, slightly frustrated said, “Sex is all I think about”, in regards to her worrying about having enough sex, etc… That line is from my addiction script, but is used in what I felt was a positive/exciting way, and yet here the reveal is that her trying to make me happy sexually, and thinking about sex constantly is her “worrying about it” in practice.”

You say your wife is basicly quoting your script to you but you don’t like that she is thinking what you wanted because she is equating that with worrying. Instead of changing the basic command structure it would seem that you could tweek it with something that surgicly removes worry and supplants it with focus and happyness and actually doing something sexy with her thoughts and so giving her an approved outlet for all that thinking.

“Short term goal: Have much more sex, have much more oral sex, improve wife’s response to kink/submission ideas”

eldrin81 has an interesting point on focus (yours). How much is more? Does that mean sex is scheduled and not spontanious? Precisely how can she get an outlet for her sexy thoughts. How can she express her sexual musings to you? What exactly would be an improvement in wife’s kink (what kink?) Like steps on stairs, how exactly is any of that leading to your ‘long term goals’? Improve her submissiveness in what way/s?

“Long term goal: I want a completely submissive, sex-slave wife, who enjoys her sexual submission, and in fact asks for it”

Really? what does any of that actually look like in the finnished product?

I don’t expect or need you to go into all that here but it just seems like it might give some clairity and direction to reevaluate and redefine terms and expectations.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 5:46 pm

@gtbear said:
“Long term goal: I want a completely submissive, sex-slave wife, who enjoys her sexual submission, and in fact asks for it”

Really? what does any of that actually look like in the finnished product?

I don’t expect or need you to go into all that here but it just seems like it might give some clairity and direction to reevaluate and redefine terms and expectations.

Well, when we were dating, she would frequently go into a submissive mode where she outright asked me to use her any way I wanted, would say things like, “please pull my hair” or “please let me suck your cock”….

I miss that, and rather than ever build it up (because it was something she liked at times), I let it wither away while I was, in an effort to be loving and supportive, tried to help her out of her pattern of thinking from old, abusive relationships.

It was a baby-with-the-bathwater situation, where helping her heal from past abuses, somehow resulted in her throwing out her kinkier side, her lust for sex, etc… while she healed.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 5:52 pm

Something I have learned over my evolution as a lifter, that I parleyed into my previous Supervisor job, was that goals must be specific and measurable, or they are more like nebulous dreams.

How many people say: “I want to lose weight”

When something isn’t specific, it can be difficult for the brain to latch onto or come up with a plan of attack, leading to lack of action and the inability to start. Deadlines help here as well.

If it can’t be measured in some way, then the goal is lost due to lack of perceived progress.

I always encourage people/friends to say something more like :”I want to lose 10 lbs and 3 inches around my waste by the 1st of May” for instance.

[gtbear]

03/11/2014 at 7:06 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

Well, when we were dating, she would frequently go into a submissive mode where she outright asked me to use her any way I wanted, would say things like, “please pull my hair” or “please let me suck your cock”….

I miss that, and rather than ever build it up (because it was something she liked at times), I let it wither away while I was, in an effort to be loving and supportive, tried to help her out of her pattern of thinking from old, abusive relationships.

It was a baby-with-the-bathwater situation, where helping her heal from past abuses, somehow resulted in her throwing out her kinkier side, her lust for sex, etc… while she healed.

FB,

This is something that I have always had a problem with… being the ‘nice guy’ messes up the girl boy relationship (that ain’t ALPHA) and being a ‘nice guy’ completely dismantles the master slave dynamic… I always have wanted to leave whatever I am working on in better shape than when I found it. If you do that with a slave girl to be, you create a dicotomy of purpose in her. She will either become more independant or even want to dominate various things / people etc. and that will make her miserable. Subs and slaves can not be the type of person that you want you to be or that you are. To make them independant and self suffecient is to split their personality and purpose and does the slave no good service. The slave is not and can not be the master even of themselves. If you get serious about making a slave out of your girl, you must decide exactly what that is and bring it about in her. Put her in your will as property so that she will always have a master because without one she will be lost. Slave’s best interests and master’s best interests are on opposite ends of the stick and one can not be the other (never the twain shall meet).

You can make your slave girl happy but it must be a happyness born in and fulfilled by service to her master. Women’s Lib is on the ‘be a nice guy’ side. On the surface it seems sweet to upgrade your girl to self sustaining independance but in reality you are going to do a lot of harm by trying to make both ends of the master/slave stick meet in the middle.

If you really want a sex slave then make her a sex slave … or redefine what you want out of her and make her that. decide where you are going and then take her there. How you do that is up to you but don’t repeat past mistakes.

Sorry… got carried away. Rant over.

[FaustsBoon]

03/11/2014 at 9:20 pm

Well when I met her she was so thoroughly harmed by bad men that I could not, in good conscious let her feel that badly about herself. What I want is a roleplay in the bedroom, not a person so beaten down by abuse that she feels worthless. Giving up one’s control is one thing (and sexy), but being a husk left as a result of it being taken away…. that’s awful and something I couldn’t abide.

If i’m in this position now for being a good guy, and now having to work twice as hard as a result, so be it. I’d do it again, every single time.

[eldrin81]

03/11/2014 at 9:45 pm

Roleplaying is another good concept to take advantage of.

[gtbear]

03/11/2014 at 9:46 pm

FB,

I’ve taken a little time here to regroup. Perhaps I can now say the above in a way that may be more easily be assimilated.

Negative programing can and probably will be positively worded. There was a certain set of statements / actions that originally produced some results that you and she liked but the methods used to achive the desired behaviors were not to your liking… (back before the subs were introduced to your relationship and you decided to be a nice guy) You nice guyed those away while trying to remove what you percieved as negative memories and something else was born. Which of those situations was / is negative? Sometimes it is very difficult to retrieve something that has been squashed… but it may be much easier to build a new structure on the ashes of the old, an improved one. To accomplish that one must let go of the first one and, with clarity of direction, and full knowledge of destination, start to build the new one.

Don’t through out anything that you have built that is positive in your eyes. Reasess your goals and methodicly and patiently and ruthlessly start to sculpt them in your slave girl. Sometimes what appears to be compassion or simpathy is really just the opposite. Ultimately, it is results that speak the loudest.

All that is just opinion but I think it’s worth consideration. Hope it proves useful.

[gtbear]

03/11/2014 at 9:55 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

Well when I met her she was so thoroughly harmed by bad men that I could not, in good conscious let her feel that badly about herself. What I want is a roleplay in the bedroom, not a person so beaten down by abuse that she feels worthless. Giving up one’s control is one thing (and sexy), but being a husk left as a result of it being taken away…. that’s awful and something I couldn’t abide.

If i’m in this position now for being a good guy, and now having to work twice as hard as a result, so be it. I’d do it again, every single time.

That’s honest. Perhaps you really only want the fantasy? You don’t have to “through the baby out with the bath water” either. You don’t have to be abusive to get the results you want. A volintary “power exchange” relationship might be what you are heading for and there are lots of ways of working into that without being a monster.

[Tap]

03/12/2014 at 2:19 am

Interesting conversation. I think a part of it might have been the use of addict with the sex subliminal. You equated a word with a negative connotation with sex. In her mind, she might be trying to fight it as a result.

To accomplish your goals, I think you might need two separate scripts. You can combine a sex and oral one together. However, I really think your foundation should be an obedience, your happiness script. That way she obeys you when you say you want sex or tell her to have sex a particular day, or tell her to give you a BJ. I do not think it’s good to combine it with the sex script. She should be thinking like this in general, and it will carry into your sex life.

Check my obedience script, which you can see in the gold forums. I found my wife responds more to obedient affirmations than submissive ones. Your wife might do the same. If you play a version of that consistently, I really do think you will just be able to have your way always with your wife. It will carry over to sex.

Then play just your sex one at night, and an obedience one during the day. You should see results.

[FaustsBoon]

03/14/2014 at 6:42 pm

So in an effort to track something, i’m starting a fresh day count here, and making an effort to make short, but more reliably frequent posts. It’ll hopefully help with best-practices again. Only this first entry should be on the longer side…

Day 2:

I’m on Day 2(ish) of what I am calling my 3.0 attempt at optimal use of subliminals. With the advice of my friends here guiding me, and the friendship of others who I met here but now consider friends beyond these borders, I have decided to back-peddle a touch from the last few scripts, and instead revisit scripts/affirmations/ideas, in an effort to lay a fresher, stronger, foundation, for my goals and future plans.

Above you’ll see the short/long term goals I kind of laid out, and I am trying to hit objective benchmarks whenever possible to keep this from being all about ideas/feelings/etc… and instead be about demonstratable outcomes.

I’m currently using one script with themes and affirmations which proved effective in the past, but perhaps weren’t left to develop fully enough.

Approaching this from wanting to increase the wife’s libido to addiction levels has been FAR less successful than focusing on submission, and her wanting to please me.

As such, the foundationary work now really is all about increasing her comfort/trust in seeing me as a dominant figure who cares for her and makes her feel safe and loved, and who associates those good feelings with submission. She will in turn show her love and submission by prioritizing making me happy, and tending to my sexual needs specifically.

While we come up with a long term script/plan, the idea is to foster those things.

Two days in, my wife seems to be in positive spirits, and is being very affectionate.

One thing I am doing is subtly changing up how I speak to her, keeping the tone loving, and pleasant, but with added confidence, and structuring requests as orders as often as possible, to measure improvements to submission. When she’s leaving for work, for example, rather than say, “Can I have a kiss…” saying, “Give me a kiss”. My wife has always been very submissive in areas of our life outside of sex, so she hasn’t even noticed the change in speech, but I figure it is a good practice for myself as much as anything, to lovingly “tell” rather than, “ask”.

One last observation, my wife outright asked me what I wanted her to do with her hair. She wants to cut and style it in some way, but she completely deferred to me, not in the “let me get your opinion” way, but she genuinely sought my answer. Normally I wouldn’t have an opinion but I made sure to pick one for her, knowing I should seem decisive, especially if she is seeking my help.

[trainer81]

03/14/2014 at 8:08 pm

That last paragraph is key. If she’s asking for your opinion on how she should look for you, even if you don’t really care, decisively say something. My wife is always asking me what she should wear, how she should do her hair, what color nail polish, etc. Sometimes I care, sometimes I don’t. But I know she’s asking because she wants to please me, so it’s an easy opportunity to take advantage of that.

As a follow up, I would encourage you to say, “I love that you did X for me.” Always acknowledge that she’s doing it for you. You can also take advantage of women’s competitiveness with each other. I’ll say things like, “I know I’m a lucky man because my wife does X, Y, Z for me.” Tell her that there’s no better wife than her because she is so good at pleasing her husband.

I tell my wife that I brag about her to my friends, but only in the context of doing things that I want her to do (some examples – her amazing blow jobs, flashing me via Skype, laser hair removal “down there”). She loves that I brag about her and she knows that I will continue to do so if she does what I want.

Good luck with your reset, FB.

[FaustsBoon]

03/15/2014 at 5:09 pm

Day 3:

Nothing too stand-out as being expressly from the subliminals, but general submission seems to be good. The wife actually wasn’t resistant to my gently playing with her breasts as we woke up this morning, which she is 50/50 about letting me do, especially since getting her nipples pierced and claiming that even a month later that they’re “still healing”. This is actually the first time she hasn’t said a thing and just let me give ’em a little play. :-p

Last night she turned down sex for the second time in a row, but sticking to my plan of keeping the tone positive and rolling with it, I said I was disappointed, but hoped we would have sex tomorrow (tonight). As we awoke this morning I asked her for a handjob, saying it would make me more comfortable during the long wait till tonight when we would hopefully do something more mutually enjoyable. She gave the hj without complaint, and even seemed to enjoy it. This isn’t too standout, or new, as during our better weeks this would have been pretty normal, but my hope for the reboot has been improving consistency so good weeks don’t suddenly make way for a bad, sex-less week or two.

She continues to be affectionate, and all is well.

[FaustsBoon]

03/16/2014 at 3:12 pm

Day 4:

Little to report outside of one curious moment. The wife turned down sex last night which I didn’t pursue, but didn’t back-down regarding either, expressing my disappointment, but moving on quickly.

This morning, however, while half-asleep my wife was just kind of talking… she said she loved me, to which I said, “I love you more.” which is a thing we do, and in her half-sleep she said, “uh uh…” and then, she said she loved me more. I asked why that was and she said, “Because everyone loves their husbands…”

That last line was really weird. I know its sleep-talk and thus half rubbish, but I did find it interesting and I wanted to record it due to its oddity.

It isn’t from a script per se, but did seem loving, and vaguely submissive?

[FaustsBoon]

03/17/2014 at 5:04 pm

Day 5:

No observable changes or standout behaviors. The wife, pulled the old “I have a headache” nugget out when the topic of sex came up, which prompted the most difficult part of my day. She KNOWS she has been very sexually reserved lately, and yet will still seek out any excuse, and I mean, any excuse, to turn it down.

The challenge for me is absolutely just staying measured, and reserved. She will not see me as an assertive/dominant figure if I pout when she pulls crap. Likewise, in an effort to keep the tone very positive and warm, especially as the script works to take hold in these early weeks (“early” insofar as its a return to old themes/affirmations that never had a chance to deeply do their work), I am trying to let my disappointment be noted, but wash over me…. VERY tricky when the wife is playing blue-balls and fucking with a guys hormones…

All in all, took a breath, and moved on. I think I carried myself well.

I suspect the wife may offer sex tonight, and I think it is important that I refuse. On the one hand I don’t want her associating her offering with me turning her down, but similarly, I don’t want her getting emboldened into the idea that she can get me so desperate that when she FINALLY gets around to it, that I just follow her lead.

Thoughts?

[eldrin81]

03/17/2014 at 6:44 pm

If she offers sex to you tonight, you might want to refuse it, but tell her you will take a rain check. Then if she agrees, tell her you will hold her to it. Then you get to be the dominant one, picking and choosing when sex occurs on your terms.

[FaustsBoon]

03/17/2014 at 7:03 pm

@eldrin81 said:

If she offers sex to you tonight, you might want to refuse it, but tell her you will take a rain check. Then if she agrees, tell her you will hold her to it. Then you get to be the dominant one, picking and choosing when sex occurs on your terms.

Well played.

I’m a big fan of subtle acts of dominance in these early days… I cannot naturally, and without setting off all kinds of alarms, get all alpha, and accept that the subliminals will likewise take hold, but these little moments are authentic/doable and let me take small steps in the direction I want.

Good call, man.

[FaustsBoon]

03/18/2014 at 4:26 pm

Day 6:

Never had the chance to make a subtle dominance test last night, as the wife didn’t even offer. In fact, before leaving work she already laid the groundwork of “I have a headache”, which is code i’m all too familiar with.

So, nothing much to report. We’ve got a date-day coming up on Friday, and last night she sort of sheepishly told me which movie she wanted to see, and where she wanted to eat. I’ll probably let her have her way, as they were decent choices, but in the moment I opted to say, “We’ll see” and leave it at that. She seemed, for brief second, surprised that I didn’t just say, “Ok”, but never mentioned it. I do think I am becoming a fan of these tiny “alpha plays” where in a very non-aggressive way, I can exert a little control, while still being respectful, and keeping the tone at home loving, and warm.

[adrz74]

03/19/2014 at 1:56 pm

Women love it when their man plans something for them. I sent my wife the following email on March 7:

>>I have made plans for us on the night of Wednesday, March 19. Babysitter is booked. No further information will be revealed.

She’s been going crazy because I’ve refused to tell her where we’re going or what we’re doing. But the fact is, women love to be pampered. They are constantly stressing about everything, and tonight, I’m giving my wife a chance to just enjoy herself and not worry about anything. I picked the restaurant, I picked the show, I arranged the babysitter. I’m gonna pick out what she’ll wear and I might (if I have time, should’ve done this a few days ago) buy her some new undergarments. I’m gonna check out the menu beforehand and I might order for both of us without even letting her look at the menu.

Long story short, I fully encourage you to plan a date night in its entirety. Make all the decisions, take responsibility for the outcome, and let her relax and enjoy.

[FaustsBoon]

03/19/2014 at 4:06 pm

Day 7:

Last night my wife was super sweet, and extra-extra affectionate, albeit for no specific reason. When it came to sex though, she wasn’t offering. I took it as an opportunity to very gingerly raise the topic of how long its been, and told her I urgently needed at least a HJ to be comfortable.

She said, outright, that she wouldn’t be emotionally engaged, but would do it for me, which she did. Obviously, as a half-measure, i’ll take her submitting to what I want/need, even if she isn’t excited yet, per se. At the least the progress comes from her being concerned with making me happy, instead of being selfish. I’ll take that, I suppose.

We woke up this morning, EARLY for her to go off to work, and she said she had been dreaming of me, again in that hyper sweet/caring voice from last night. When I asked what she was dreaming of, she said, “cuddling”, and just kept acting like the cutest little thing.

This again, kinda came out of nowhere so i’m including it as an observable…. something. :-p

[FaustsBoon]

03/19/2014 at 4:07 pm

Oh, and ADRZ… that’s Friday, for us. I’m essentially doing just that.

[FaustsBoon]

03/19/2014 at 5:56 pm

Tiny addition, but I wanted to note it before I forgot…

I emailed my wife saying I wasn’t feeling well, and if for some reason she called and I missed it, I was just laying down in the other room. Well, within an hour she called extremely concerned with how I was doing. I just found it notable how thoughtful she was being, and that she continues to suddenly seem extra concerned with my well-being.

[J66R]

03/19/2014 at 11:13 pm

Good to hear. I too have a similar thing going on here. It is my in-laws anniversary this weekend and my wife is heading there today to go visit. She visits her family a couple times a year. Normally when she goes “home” to visit she spends the week beforehand doing everything she can to make me angry and make the separation even more miserable. I don’t know if it’s her way of trying to make leaving easier or if she is just evil enough to try to get that final jab in there so I would be in pain the entire time she was gone and not be able to do anything about it. Who knows? Also, whenever I get sick she usually spends the whole time telling me what a baby and a wuss I am.

On both fronts this time has been different. She has been very nice and sweet this past week telling me she’ll miss me. I have also been sick with a nasty cold the past couple of days and she has been caring and concerned telling me she hopes I feel better soon, bringing me medication and even sitting beside me and just being there when I took the medication and took a nap.

Now I surely dig the strip tease (which she did again last night and even handed me a flashlight to use as a “spotlight” for the “show”), the blow jobs, the sex several time a week, cumming in her mouth. But as much as I want her to do all that and still will not be content until she learns to swallow every time, this is the stuff that really makes me feel that REAL changes are happening inside her head. Even though the sexual things are often done with reserve or reticence, it’s just the plain old acting like she cares for me that she has been doing lately that is truly different and has now got me to keep continuing on.

But, I’m just as glad you’re seeing some of the same kind of progress as I am.

[FaustsBoon]

03/20/2014 at 12:27 pm

@J66R said:

Good to hear. I too have a similar thing going on here. It is my in-laws anniversary this weekend and my wife is heading there today to go visit. She visits her family a couple times a year. Normally when she goes “home” to visit she spends the week beforehand doing everything she can to make me angry and make the separation even more miserable. I don’t know if it’s her way of trying to make leaving easier or if she is just evil enough to try to get that final jab in there so I would be in pain the entire time she was gone and not be able to do anything about it. Who knows? Also, whenever I get sick she usually spends the whole time telling me what a baby and a wuss I am.

On both fronts this time has been different. She has been very nice and sweet this past week telling me she’ll miss me. I have also been sick with a nasty cold the past couple of days and she has been caring and concerned telling me she hopes I feel better soon, bringing me medication and even sitting beside me and just being there when I took the medication and took a nap.

Now I surely dig the strip tease (which she did again last night and even handed me a flashlight to use as a “spotlight” for the “show”), the blow jobs, the sex several time a week, cumming in her mouth. But as much as I want her to do all that and still will not be content until she learns to swallow every time, this is the stuff that really makes me feel that REAL changes are happening inside her head. Even though the sexual things are often done with reserve or reticence, it’s just the plain old acting like she cares for me that she has been doing lately that is truly different and has now got me to keep continuing on.

But, I’m just as glad you’re seeing some of the same kind of progress as I am.

Yeah man. Women think we’re these childish boys, or worse, barbaric savages, and they don’t realize we feel, and hurt and such too. I guarantee you most men are frustrated not because we need “x” sex-act more often, or anything so specific, as much as we just want to feel like men, be treated like men, and have our wives appreciate that men and women are different (not better or worse… different), and we want to be treated a certain way, doted on, etc… same as them, just manifested differently.

[FaustsBoon]

03/20/2014 at 12:29 pm

Day 8:

Nothing to report except that hyper-sweetness/affection continued throughout the evening. Sex wasn’t even on the table as I know she has been up since 4:15 (and again today), due to work. That said, the tone around here has been pleasant, if nothing else.

[Tap]

03/21/2014 at 1:09 am

I think your wife might be manipulating you in a way. A lot of women do that. They are nice to you and affectionate, because it softens you up, but they will still refuse to have sex giving all kinds of reasons. Since she has been affectionate to you, you let it go. Next thing you know, you haven’t had sex in a week but you think things are ok because she’s being affectionate.

Think of it this way, and how she probably sees it in her mind:

-I don’t want to have sex but my husband does.
-If I’m affectionate to him, my reward is he doesn’t hassle me about the sex issue, and he’s happy.
-Everyone wins

So it’s a repeating cycle, until you press the issue more with her and she gives into sex.

[eldrin81]

03/21/2014 at 11:51 am

@Tap1 said:

I think your wife might be manipulating you in a way. A lot of women do that. They are nice to you and affectionate, because it softens you up, but they will still refuse to have sex giving all kinds of reasons. Since she has been affectionate to you, you let it go. Next thing you know, you haven’t had sex in a week but you think things are ok because she’s being affectionate.

Think of it this way, and how she probably sees it in her mind:

-I don’t want to have sex but my husband does.
-If I’m affectionate to him, my reward is he doesn’t hassle me about the sex issue, and he’s happy.
-Everyone wins

So it’s a repeating cycle, until you press the issue more with her and she gives into sex.

Indeed this could be the case. Only time will tell.

[FaustsBoon]

03/21/2014 at 4:26 pm

Well, normally i’d assert myself more, but we’re also in that delicate “new script” window where I don’t want to stir up too much at once, while all those new (well, old) affirmations, are just settling in.

Day 9:

Affection continues, and the exhaustive schedule does as well so I hadn’t pushed for sex. That said, yesterday the wife was making innuendos and more sexual jokes than normal, and in the evening I caught her humming Nine Inch Nails, “Closer”…. notorious for its “I want to fuck you like an animal” lyrics.

Last night the wife moaned throughout the night and was clearly having sexual dreams, at one point, even (in her sleep) pushing my hand down to her crotch.

For now, i’m watching, and letting the subliminals keep working as they seem to be doing something, at the least.

[eldrin81]

03/21/2014 at 4:45 pm

@FaustsBoon said:

Well, normally i’d assert myself more, but we’re also in that delicate “new script” window where I don’t want to stir up too much at once, while all those new (well, old) affirmations, are just settling in.

Day 9:

Affection continues, and the exhaustive schedule does as well so I hadn’t pushed for sex. That said, yesterday the wife was making innuendos and more sexual jokes than normal, and in the evening I caught her humming Nine Inch Nails, “Closer”…. notorious for its “I want to fuck you like an animal” lyrics.

Last night the wife moaned throughout the night and was clearly having sexual dreams, at one point, even (in her sleep) pushing my hand down to her crotch.

For now, i’m watching, and letting the subliminals keep working as they seem to be doing something, at the least.

Sounds good man While being assertive is important, I think you are right in not pushing too hard too soon, and ending up with some blow up that just gives her negative reinforcement to the ideas the subliminals have inserted into her brain.

[FaustsBoon]

03/22/2014 at 4:04 pm

Day 10:

Nothing to report, but this time its ALL my fault. The wife’s excess affection continued, and she was supremely loving. She was implying sex all day, and things were looking set for a fun evening….

… and then I got sick as a dog with food poisoning. I ate some chicken which did not agree with me and laid me out. The wife was super concerned, and very sweet tending to me, but unfortunately I was responsible for mucking this one up.

[eldrin81]

03/22/2014 at 7:02 pm

Might not be food poisoning, there is some strain of a stomach bug going around along the east coast. Facebook friends reporting all their insides hurting something fierce.

[FaustsBoon]

03/24/2014 at 12:25 pm

Pretty interesting couple days here. Settle in… this will be a long one. :-p

Day 10: Another pleasant day, with affection being high. Thing with my wife, is that affection is always very hit or miss. Sometimes she craves it, and asks to be cuddled, etc… and sometimes she is ok with just a baseline amount. Since i’ve started recording her high affection level it has been consistently VERY high. Increasingly it occurs to me that a LOT of my script talks to her about how safe I make her feel, and how she trusts in me. I do think this is manifesting as her taking comfort in the security I offer, because she has even been sleeping completely nuzzled up against me (more so than even before when she was feeling affectionate). In the last five or so days, she’s almost had this “cat” quality to her needing to be curled up against me as often as possible.

Obviously, I tried for sex…

She said she wanted to, but how about we wait for tomorrow as she was feeling poorly…

In a firm way, but gently, I told her it was time she really understood how frustrating this behavior has been. I proceeded to list, headache, headache, tired, tired, headache, as her last FIVE excuses for not wanting to be together, and that how infrequently we’ve been together is genuinely hurting an otherwise very strong relationship.

Now, i’ve written about my wife for a year now? She doesn’t take criticism, right?

Which is why I was stunned, when she apologized, and said she knew that. She even, *GASP*, took responsibility for it. She said she really was exhausted and feeling unwell, and asked if a handjob for now would be ok, and also said, “Tomorrow… whatever you want, no restrictions, I promise…”

Now my wife never talks like that… Also, during the handjob she was staring at my cock like it was Thanksgiving dinner. She wasn’t half watching TV… she was focused to a weird degree. If I had to guess, she was debating turning it into a blowjob, as per her subliminals…

Day 11:

Here’s where things get interesting. Affection level stayed super high. We went to lunch with a sex therapist friend though. We’ve known him forever, but it had been a while since we hung out. Short version, during conversation he encouraged my wife to start writing down her fantasies as an exercise for reconnecting with her libido, and improving her positive attitudes toward sex in general. He also mentioned how he gives couples who have good marriages, but ailing sex lives, the 30-day challenge where they must have sex every single day for a month…

Time passes, and we have a good day (our date-night got moved to Sunday because of scheduling issues) but a very long one, with a huge side of third party drama proving draining as well. We get home, and neither of us look particularly ready for the no-restrictions sexy fun… not because either is unwilling, but because we’re just pooped, over-fed, and need to be ready for another 4:00am work-day start (at this point its 10:30pm so the best we can hope for is five-ish hours of sleep).

Well before bed, I see my wife writing something, and ask what she’s doing. She says she is starting her sex-journal. She likewise apologizes for the day getting away from us, but she wants to somewhat keep her promise. She outright offers me a blowjob. This is rare as hell… thing is, i’m fried and I do want to respect how tiring she would find tomorrow with even less sleep.

She sees my reticence and says tomorrow (tonight), from when she gets home, till the day ends… no TV, no distractions until we’re both completely “satisfied”.

And as we’re drifting off to sleep she asks, “So do you think we could handle that 30-day challenge? I mean… would we be able to keep up with it?) to which I tell her of course, and let her go to bed with her wheels turning.

Now, I have to mention this, but Qwerty’s breakthrough moment was when his wife’s church going friend similarly raised the idea of a 30-day-marriage booster, sex challenge, which seemed to “uncork” her desire, and willingness to express those desires. I am thinking advice like that seemingly endorsed by science, faith, etc… professionals, allows the subliminals which have been working to find a “safe” outlet.

Anyway, i’m off as I have a lot of work to do, but hey…. good things happening?

[eldrin81]

03/24/2014 at 12:42 pm

That’s awesome man. Looks like a home run is right around the corner.
The thing is, our wife’s sexual desires stay suppressed because of fear of public outlook. So when a professional or church pastor tells the wife something like that, they are like wow this is…okay! and they feel better to let loose.

You have a perfect storm of things attacking your issues from all angles now. Your subliminals, a professional friend, and your firm yet patient attitude. Just ride the wave into the harbor and give her a pounding on the beach…lol.

[FaustsBoon]

03/25/2014 at 11:38 am

Day 12:

Amazing… the depths of my wife’s selfishness are truly amazing. Last night, right up until it was time for us to turn everything off and focus on one-another, the wife kept reminding me we had a nice/fun evening coming… Then she spent an extra hour brain-washed by the mess that is Facebook, only coming to bed when out of frustration I told her to turn it off. She then pulled the old “i’m tired” (she wasn’t before she wasted a bunch of the time that was set aside for us).

Before we fell asleep she apologized and seemed agonizingly sweet/genuine about being sorry, which just confuses me even more.

I shook my head… told her i’d heard that far too often lately, and that I just didn’t believe her when she says we’ll catch up soon. She’s been pissy/bitchy since, like I am the one who did something wrong, calling out her selfish behavior.

[seekenq]

03/25/2014 at 5:05 pm

Faust

Wow, what a reversal form the night before.
Sorry to hear of your difficulties.
I think your first sentence says it all.

My wife is also a facebook addict.
It got so bad that we had to have a big sit down discussion about it.
My wife gave me lot’s of excuses about how she keeps track of her friends, blah, blah, blah…
It was very rough “discussion” but I held firm and she now does not facebook after dinner.
She will still occasionally ask for permission to surf/do email in the evenings but facebook is out of the question.
Facebook has made lots of money creating a very addicting product.
That said, there is nothing on facebook that can’t wait / is necessary.

Rather than fight facebook I pointed out that it is rude and selfish for her to spend all here time on the computer.
By focusing on her overall behavior (rather than facebook itself) I was finally able to make some progress.
Sounds like a sit down discussion may be needed.
Good luck, I hope your situation improves.

[eldrin81]

03/25/2014 at 5:16 pm

Ya my wife is the same way. It’s like credit cards ” oh I am just going to use this for emergencies” then it’s racked up with frivolous expenditures. Facebook is supposed to be about connecting with friends and family, but people do one of three things: play mindless games that offer some pat on the back to keep playing or spend money, share endless memes that they identify with even if the meme isn’t accurate or is horseshit, or stir up drama and hatefulness.

[tonguester4_69]

03/25/2014 at 6:25 pm

Your wife’s behavior, is eerily like mine. Every time the subject of my satisfaction is brought up,the excuses come out, she acts sweet, doing anything for me, except what I want.For example, we had a conversation about it on Sunday. Yesterday, she left me a sweet little note, saying she loved me. This morning I woke up, and she had set up the coffee pot for me, something she never does.It’s starting to feel like she’s just playing me for a sucker. Because it sounds like that’s what your wife is doing, obviously that’s what I think is going on with your wife. The subliminals about your happiness are taking hold, but she’s implementing them according to her idea of what that means, not yours. And then gets bitchy, when you don’t see it her way.

[gtbear]

03/25/2014 at 7:50 pm

I mentioned to my wife, who was standing at the door to my office just a few minutes ago and was preparing to go pick up the boy from school, that there was a discussion going on here about wives and inordinate amounts of time being spent on Facebook. She was still going yadayadayada in a very defensive way as she went out the door to get in the car. Last statement to me was, ‘put the trashcan away’. I started laughing and she drove off on her mission… smerking I suppose.

This does not bode well…

[eldrin81]

03/25/2014 at 8:02 pm

Ya they do try to be assertive once in awhile, even with submission/slave scripts going. I find women always are testing their boundaries of control. Kinda reminds me of the raptors off the original Jurassic park that would keep testing the electric fence until they found a weak spot…
And as soon as we back down, bam, they push a little more. Nothing aggressive, it’s not their way, just small things here and there, until they have annexed all territory.
Thankfully the submission type scripts cause them to back off with a bit of assertiveness or firmness from us.

[seekenq]

03/25/2014 at 8:24 pm

I’ve been working hard with my girl to differentiate being nice / doing nice things from meeting my sexual needs.

I believe we (men) play a key role here in that we have accepted this substitution, i.e. being nice instead of sex.
– I want sex but she is >>insert excuseinsert nice behavior<<

It is hard to criticize them for manipulating us when we are complicit in the behavior.
If we do not accept the substitution then we break the cycle and avoid feeling manipulated.

I tell her I appreciate alll of the nice things and give her positive feedback when it occurs
I also tell her doing nice things is not an alternative to meeting my sexual needs.
At first she was confused / upset by this “new” way of thinking.
I stayed clear and calm and made sure she understood the two were not the same to me.
I very carefully avoided any references to her manipulations or being critical of her for not understanding that the two things were different to me.
Over time (more than one conversation) she came to understand and accept the difference.
Once we got past this self imposed wound things got much easier / better between us.

Now I can appreciate her doing nice things without seeing them as a proxy for sex (and the resentment that comes with coupling the two).

[seekenq]

03/25/2014 at 8:32 pm

Sorry guys, the BBS does not like the signs.

Should have read :
I believe we (men) play a key role here in that we have accepted this substitution, i.e. being nice instead of sex.
– I want sex but she is (insert excuse).
– I will go without because she has (insert nice behavior).

[gtbear]

03/25/2014 at 8:41 pm

I can see that, if one has a few years of pychology under their belts and an infinate amount of curiosity and patience, this “all carrot” “no stick” form of babe driving might just work.

My mom, when I was a teenager (God bless her) used to say, “Candy is dandy but liquer is quicker” as a sort of tongue in cheek statement about how girls think. I guess it is stuff like this discussion that tests which hypothisis is really going to pan out in a reasonable way… carrot + carrot or carrot + stick.

If nothing else, one must bear in mind that the female mind is certainly capable of managing not to be herded… sorta like cats. It’s part of what makes them interesting me thinks.

[seekenq]

03/25/2014 at 8:53 pm

I used up my infinite supply of patience and finally resorted to silent subliminals
The patience needed to wait for the scripts to do their thing, while substantial, is vastly less than that needed to see change “the old way”
An ice age in Hades comes to mind.

I think both carrots and sticks are needed – figuring out the ratio is the tricky part.
Carrots in the form of positive statement subliminals and real world positive reinforcement.
Sticks in terms of the occasional sit down chat where I clearly explain what I find objectionable and outline my expectations.
I can only get so far with carrots and then I need a stick.
The stick gets me a little progress then I need the carrots again.

[Tap]

03/26/2014 at 2:52 am

Well, I mentioned this type of manipulation by women about a week ago on this thread, where they act nice, but then still don’t give sex.

In my experience, since using the subliminals a year ago, my whole view of my wife has changed. I can’t say that it’s the right view to have in a marriage, but it certainly works to fit my needs and desires. I see my wife not as my equal, but now similar to the relationship of a father to a child. In a way, this is exactly how the master/slave relationship is where the master is higher and the slave is lower. The master treats the slave almost like a child.

I tell my wife how it’s going to be. She might whine and want her way sometimes, which I allow, as long as my needs and desires are satisfied. If she does something I don’t like, I get mad at her and really tell her, to the point of yelling. With the help of the subliminals, she really is accepting this new role. With my new good girl script, I feel I can push the relationship further. All of the above is how a father might treat his child, especially the idea of calling her a good girl.

That doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife because I do. In fact, she often calls me her “love” more often now than before. However, I believe I have successfully established my authority like a father to a child. Of course, I can continue building on it to establish it more like a master to a slave. I can’t say I’m at that point yet.

To FB and those that might still be having issues with their wives, when you start viewing your wife in this way, as a child/slave who is not your equal but below you, you will act accordingly and with the help of the subliminals, she should fall in line.

[FaustsBoon]

03/26/2014 at 1:11 pm

Day 13:

Nothing to report. Wife played out the day like nothing was wrong, and everything is fine. Of course she didn’t even broach the topic of sex, nor will I. I am giving her an downright icy-shoulder, and expect that when/if she asks what’s wrong, I will blow up in her face, explaining how weeks of this bullshit is enough to drive anyone away, and if that is her intention, she’s doing a fine job.

[FaustsBoon]

03/26/2014 at 5:55 pm

Day 13: Continued…

So my wife, probably bored/frustrated with my cold shoulder, just snarky as can be says, “Well… its a good thing i’m leaving for work. You obviously want to be in a bad mood no matter how positive or cheerful I am….”

And I lost it… She was lucky someone walked in because I was seconds away from unloading verbally on her. All I managed to tell her was that she leaves me with no other choice than to be miserable… and if she thinks i’ve been miserable today, what did she think I was feeling the last five days plus, with her constantly breaking promises, and being selfish as hell.

She didn’t say another word to me for the next thirty minutes before heading out to work.

Traditionally I would end up apologizing, even for things that weren’t my fault. I have no intention of doing so this time.