A Little Introduction

[Fizbin]

03/31/2013 at 11:27 pm

Greetings fellow Dreamers!

I’ve been participating in the forum for a while now – helping others, offering tips, and just general kibitzing. It was pointed out recently that I haven’t offered up my own story yet.

I can’t say too much about my work. I value my anonymity here, as I am a published author, and fairly well known in my field. I have a lot of interests, but one of my hobbies of particular note for this forum is psychology and personality studies.

My interest here is to help my wife recover from an abusive prior relationship. While she is highly functional, she is emotionally very fragile. My primary goals are to strengthen her and help her to realize that she is worthy of her goals. I first got involved in researching subliminal technology because my wife is adamantly against hypnosis as a self-improvement technique.

I had already learned much about the processes and was beginning to make my own files before I found this forum. While I frankly disagree with the end goals of some of the programs, the quality and overall care that went into their development inspired me to stick around. As I was already familiar with the techniques and have my own toolset, I delayed purchasing the Gold package when Trainer first offered it; however, I expect to be taking that plunge within the week, as I feel I have much to offer other Gold members.

[Fizbin]

04/01/2013 at 12:37 pm

P.S.
You might wonder, even with the quality of the files here, what self-improvement goals would the stock files and scripts here promote?

My wife’s dream has always been to be a traditional 50’s style housewife. She thought she had that. However, the particular nature of her abuse included being convinced that she was a lousy cook and housekeeper (she isn’t), as well as a number of things that impacted her ability to trust someone to take care of her (financially, emotionally, spiritually) if she were to stop working to fulfill that goal. It is this self-confidence and trust I am working to rebuild.

And yes, I have been seeing improvements.

[FaustsBoon]

04/01/2013 at 2:04 pm

Well met Fiz! I’m actually a writer, by trade, as well, so it feels that much better to be in the company of a peer!

Thank you for sharing this as it is very much appreciated. Likewise, I hope your thoughts regarding perceived unsavory ends of some of the subliminals is not directed towards me. I assure you, ethics matters to me a LOT, and like your wife, I know my own has expressed interests and desires to me as well, but likewise was also a victim of abuse which complicates her own feelings about herself, her sexuality, and so forth.

I know it is natural, and hell… probably good to recoil against the word “slave”, but it has, as you know so many different connotations and dimensions.

I wish you, and your wife continued success, and hope you help her to a place where she is her best possible self, and knows she is a complete and appreciated person. We, as humans, do all deserve that, and to feel loved.

Cheers!

[Fizbin]

04/02/2013 at 2:17 am

You’re quite welcome. My comment was definitely not directed at you, but rather some of the (shall we say) more “exotic” outcomes. I’m happy with a 50’s lifestyle and maybe a dash of D/s kink, but there are files here that go way beyond anything I have the slightest interest in.

[FaustsBoon]

04/02/2013 at 1:26 pm

Hi Fiz,

Absolutely do I understand what you’re saying. There were indeed a couple subliminals that had me scratching my head. That said… who am I to judge what a couple, or individuals enjoy? I figure as long as ethics are broadly engaged, its all good.

[trainer81]

04/05/2013 at 7:32 pm

Glad to have you as a Dream Girls member Fizbin! If you need anything let me know.

Myself my slave, she was abused by her father when she was young so I’ve taken things very slow from the start.

Trainer81

[MasterSouthernStar]

04/21/2013 at 7:11 pm

Great to hear your story Fizbin. Thank you.

My girl was also in an abusive marriage for many years before we got together. In fact I had to talk her out of it and convince her she could do better. We’ve been together for 12 years now and she has made progress but still has relapses. It’s a work in progress.

She also had the 50’s housewife – sort of Stepford Wife goal in her head, though she also has the full on slave thing too. We believe there are two people to each individual – the public and the private. Being a 50’s housewife in today’s society is way out there and bold, but the slave thing is private. And that part is working well for us. Mostly we hope these recordings will help to counter the societal programming that women get these days to be essentially alpha males. We both feel the natural path for female is secondary or submissive.

But the point is that it’s really nice to find others that have similar outlooks. Keep up the good work!

[Fizbin]

01/23/2014 at 10:15 pm

Time for a little update. I had a few weeks at home over the holidays, and so was able to get a fairly good exposure to my custom mega file. In addition, last weekend, I started rolling into rotation an old custom derived from Trainer’s Ownership series.
I’m starting to see some attitude improvements, as well as several instances of her casually changing clothes in my presence and displaying some very attractive underwear. This last is a Very Big Deal, as one of her issues has been an extremely poor self image. She historically almost never lets me see her naked unless she’s really “in the mood.” Showing off her body and wearing sexy clothes for me are some of the key suggestions in the mega file. Although I didn’t say anything, I did make sure she saw me looking her over appreciatively.
This week will be a home week for me. I plan to keep up the mega file, and rotate in a new custom file which combines a couple of ideas from some other gold members (husband as leader delegated from above, and a special holiday gift) along with her also wanting a special present from me. I may drop the mega after a day or two, as the new custom does include some of my core affirmations for her.

[eldrin81]

01/23/2014 at 11:40 pm

Thats great Fizbin. I think women in general have poor self image these days. My wife always says the same thing, that she is fat, because she is pregnant. I tell her, no you are pregnant, not fat. One is beautiful, the other represents laziness. Then i make comparisons to other women we both clearly know are fat, and I always compliment her. I’ve always believed when a woman thinks of herself as beautiful and sexy, her libido will naturally increase. And for many women this might be the main factor.

How long are you usually gone when you travel? It would be interesting if you could rig up some sort of hidden speakers linked to a computer that allows remote access to play while you are away. Kinda more high tech than most are willing to go though.

I guess i’m a: “theres always a way” type of guy.

Read some of the other posts in this thread. I too was a bit taken back with the idea of slave training and what not and some other more extreme stuff i’ve seen in the scripts. The one thing I have noticed in this forum is the guys here genuinely seem to care for their women, they just want to be in charge, like men naturally are inclined to be, and get some reciprocation from what they give to their women. Even the more extreme stuff, the people here seem to take great care with, and the end results seem to turn out happy.

I can honestly say that I may be in the same boat as many as to having an abused wife. Though mine never went through any physical abuse, she has had plenty of verbal and emotional abuse from her brother and possibly father, in the form of being chronically over critical, and never showing positive reinforcement or compliments. That sounds so simple and trivial to type, and yet, I was an employee for a boss who was like that, and after about 3-4 years of day in day out, never receiving compliments but always being chewed out for every little percieved fault, it does wear on you and change your self image/mood. I can only imagine this coming from family members constantly for 20 some years. The father has toned down over the years but the brother still is an adult child with multiple insecurities whom I’ve called out, and received lashback from (The incident in my journal if you remember). But like any woman in an abusive relationship, she feels some obligation to keep in touch and keep putting in effort, and if I push the issue I run the risk of fulfilling the accusations placed on me. So I simply tell her, keep him in your life, but don’t put up with his sh&t

[Fizbin]

01/24/2014 at 2:11 am

Thanks!
Although I’ve given thought to trying to hide playback options, the reality is I’m OK with just being patient for now.

[GhostKing]

01/24/2014 at 3:46 am

Very interesting discussion here. I thought a lot about how I was going to reply and then tossed like two or three entire posts because I felt they wouldn’t really get my message across, so I won’t try again. But I will say that the comment about “alpha-male women” above is a valid observation.

I personally like to think of relationships and slavery in therapeutic terms. “How can this help her?” I always need a reason to start a relationship, at least that some good can come of it. So maybe if I meet a girl who’s been abused, and I have, I try to think of ways for me to, if not heal them, at least give them a safe place to be loved and feel cared for. My kind of slavery involves lots of love, attention, and cuddles so the girl knows they’re in the right place.

But not too much, because that’s just as bad. I mean, I get kind of maternal sometimes when I’m too caught up in my adoration of someone.

[Fizbin]

01/24/2014 at 6:21 am

Although slavery isn’t my thing, that doesn’t creep me out like some of the “beyond” slavery stuff does.

[eldrin81]

01/24/2014 at 2:14 pm

Ah, you must be talking about the stuff having to do with being a pet or ‘dog’. Ya I dunno, kinks and fetishes get pretty far out there. I mean I once saw one of those parody picture memes with the captions floating around years ago that was poking fun at some porn site that catered to amputee fetishes. and I’m like ummm, okay…to each his own I guess, but good lord…

[GhostKing]

01/24/2014 at 6:49 pm

@eldrin81 said:

Ah, you must be talking about the stuff having to do with being a pet or ‘dog’. Ya I dunno, kinks and fetishes get pretty far out there. I mean I once saw one of those parody picture memes with the captions floating around years ago that was poking fun at some porn site that catered to amputee fetishes. and I’m like ummm, okay…to each his own I guess, but good lord…

I don’t know if either of you have played dating sims, but I recently played through two storylines of “Katawa Shoujo” (roughly translating to “Crippled Girl”-including the derogatory connotation of the word “cripple”). The game takes you through romance arcs with any of 5 girls at a school for students with special medical needs. TWO of these girls are double amputees. The others are blind, deaf mute, and a girl with severe burns on the right side of her body and PTSD.

That may sound like it’s meant to cater to a certain niche, but it never plays that way. The characters are very human, and in fact their medical conditions aren’t really treated as fetishes at all. Even Hanako, the burn victim with PTSD who barely speaks to anyone, and who I thought was charming because of her shyness, actually gets extremely frustrating. Though at first you can get her to open up to you, you sort of reach a plateau where you realize that you can only do so much for her, and that you can’t just fix her with an anguished declaration of love or a well-timed hug.

I guess my point is that the game, despite prominently featuring these things, doesn’t really use them like fetish material. This was turning into a long post but I figured I’d spare you the details. Then again: I also wanted to mention it because the game is free and incredibly well-written, if anybody’s interested. There are sex scenes in the game, which is typical for visual novels, but two major exceptions: first, a lot of the sex scenes are terribly awkward and they’re not wish fulfillment. They are, however, realistic because the characters might not be ready for it, and it becomes painfully obvious in the act. Second, there’s an option to disable the sex scenes, but that’s not really a good idea because you always miss part of the story. It’s not porn so much as a natural outgrowth of the characters’ motives.

For example Hanako, the girl with the burns, takes you to her room and strips to her underwear to show you her burns. Then both characters sort of mechanically get on her bed and ****, but it’s not like it’s some great thing. It would feel even stranger if they didn’t, but neither character ends up enjoying the sex.
Slavery seems like an odd choice for a person like me who’s always played the nice guy, but the fact is I’ve been fantasizing about bondage nonstop since age 7, long before I heard the word “bondage.” I also love the idea of having my girlfriend wear a collar. So it’s been hard to reconcile those beliefs, but here I am.

[MasterSouthernStar]

01/25/2014 at 7:49 pm

Eldrin;

Your comments about females and familial abuse are right on. My girl was in an abusive marriage for a LOONG time before I got her and her son even learned the ways of the husband – yet she still feels compelled to have contact with the son. I’ll never understand it. I’m working to try to cure her of it but its one of those things I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to beat. There is a subliminal here that has something to do with separating from family. I intend to try that one after her mother passes away. But for now I’m just trying to be supportive. Every time she has contact with her son it brings her head back into those old days before I had her and it’s always a challenge to get her back here mentally. It’s incredibly detrimental to the program here but there is very little I can do for now.

Sorry, I guess this turned into me sharing my frustration more than me backing you up on your comment. But either way, there’s folks out here on your side. I’ll let you know if I ever figure a way to cure her of need societal induced family requirement.

MSS

[eldrin81]

01/25/2014 at 8:02 pm

It’s the way of an abuser, either by design, or honed instinct to addict the abused to them, by undermining their self worth, while giving them just enough of a positive incentive to stay. I find parallels with a documentary I watched recently, can’t remember the name. But they got a chimp to have a parent/child bond with a fake monkey. They found out that the nurturing worked best if there was some uncertainty to the relationship. Kind of makes sense, as a mother must discipline her children, and in that moment there is some uncertainty. Somehow this produced a stronger bond that straight up constant nurturing. It may be the same in abused women, the bond may be strengthened by the uncertainty, the undermined self image giving them the need to rely on that abuser, and the occasional just enough positive incentive that they care.

[Fizbin]

01/27/2014 at 1:16 pm

Interesting discussion on abuse.
Anyway, I’ve shifted to using only the gifts file for now. We’ll see how that goes.

[eldrin81]

01/27/2014 at 10:08 pm

They do seem to work well with enforcement of a public holiday