A cynics journal… Let us see what we see..

[FaustsBoon]

03/31/2013 at 3:35 pm

So I have decided to contribute in a small way by starting my own journal here. I thought it might be useful for myself, as a way to review, but could also help others, IF, things should work (or perhaps even if they don’t).

As a foundation, let me just say that I am very cynical by nature. I think being a good scientific thinker demands it, and as such am trying to temper everything I see with a healthy dose of cynicism. I am also saying this because I am trying to be hyper aware of humans as pattern seeking individuals. I know I will WANT to see these changes happening, so I worry I will read into things, and conjure. Again, i’ll write down all my thoughts, but let us say, for argument, that 50% of these observations end up incidental, or the product of my own imagination.

That said, the last three days have been fascinating, and I am trying and failing at being completely doubtful.

Three and a half days ago I started on a loop of Sub Thoughts Wife, Wife CS, and Slave CS. My thought was that as slave is an end-goal, it would be a very subtle introduction to the word and word master, if it was led into by STW which mentions it, and then is reinforced by having “wife” become synonymous.

I know my partner, deep down, is submissive, as I have seen it, though she always struggles at owning it, and half buries it. She went to a woman’s lib sort of college that really drilled in the female power stuff.

That said… almost instantly, no converted used btw, I felt as if she was being more loving, slightly more inclined to blow me kisses, touch my hand, etc… and seemed quicker to do things when flat out asked. Again, this might be seeing things, but they are already her normal behaviors, they just seem, oh… 20% magnified?

She has not yet attempted oral sex, and politely declined the one time I casually asked. She did however respond to me saying “Sleep topless tonight”, and let me grope her as we slept. Normally this would be hit or miss, and normally she would lovingly but gently remove my hand. Last night, she did not.

Again, the sample is too small to say much, but let us see what happens.

Note, this DOES come off a conversation where I told her I wanted to take back some masculine power in our relationship, which might be what is really causing the minute changes.

Note the second, last night I added Sledgehammer LHO. We play ALL files, all night as rain files, and sometimes during the day for a bit. Last night, curiously neither of us could sleep, for a while, and we both felt a little nausea and headache. I don’t know if Sledgehammer contributed or not.

[Fizbin]

03/31/2013 at 11:07 pm

I will say, using rain files makes it much easier to judge the leveling.

Keep us posted!

[FaustsBoon]

04/01/2013 at 2:14 pm

I thought I would add a brief few observations for day 3, going into day 4…

Yesterday, my wife seemed rather aloof during the day. She was not LESS affectionate, or perhaps only remained at her baseline of affection, during much of the day, but often seemed less present. I imagine, however, this can only be the result of having an abysmal night’s sleep (which in turn, might have been caused by the Sledgehammer… who knows).

That said, despite having not yet used any programs regarding domestic qualities, the home, cleaning, etc… I did notice her clean a counter-top, and dust a particularly dirty shelf. She almost NEVER does these sorts of things without me asking expressly, but does know cleanliness is important to me.

During the evening, though, we found ourselves in a romantic moment during which she said she didn’t want anything sexual as she felt unwell, but also said she wanted to help me, and my happiness was all that mattered. She has said things like this in the past, but seemed somehow more, self-convinced on this ocassion. She then proceeded to give me a blowjob, which she hasn’t done in a long time. She also seemed to really engage with the act in a way that is unlikely for her to do based on past style.

It was, frankly, extraordinary, and I positively reinforced her throughout and after, using language from Wife CS whenever possible.

[Fizbin]

04/02/2013 at 2:26 am

Just a couple of observations here:
1. Headaches have been reported occasionally as a new program starts to “take”.
2. Several folks have said that LHO and Wife CS are a fairly potent 1-2 combo.

Finally, while reinforcement is good, I would be careful about using language directly from the files. It can clue the conscious mind into something not being quite right.

[FaustsBoon]

04/02/2013 at 1:56 pm

Comments, then a brief update…

– That is an interesting though Fizbin, but the headaches were literally within a half-hour of starting the Sledgehammer addition to the existing playlist. Either she’s the most suggestible person EVER… or we just happened to have mutual headaches and she ate a bad taco. :p

– LHO / Wife CS might be a great combo. We’ll see though (read below…)

– I have definitely heard your suggestion on avoiding language ripped from the files. I thought it might be a reinforcement, but if you say it can work just the opposite, I will stop immediately. Thanks!

Update:

My wife seemed to have a very mixed day. On the one-hand, she was extremely thoughtful, and positive. After already having a very busy day, she said she was going to put off going to the post-office. When all I did was text her a sad-emote ( ), she immediately reworked her timing and went, knowing it was something I wanted.

During the evening she seemed a touch aloof/distracted, but didn’t want to divulge why. It was though, a very long day for her full of errands, hours in a waiting room, and generally just LONG.

As the night continued, I told her I wanted to be intimate. We kiss, fairly passionately, for a good ten minutes or so, when I reminded her about how amazing she had made me feel the night before, and then told her how much I would enjoy another blowjob. She laughed it off, saying I was incorrigible, and was sweet about it, but, “No” was the final word.

Before bed I also mentioned how much I had enjoyed the last couple nights where she slept topless and encouraged her to do it again. Once more, “No” stayed the final word. While half-asleep at one point she also brushed my hand off her breast, which again, read like regression.

[Fizbin]

04/02/2013 at 10:57 pm

Interesting. I have a couple of thoughts on this…

First, someone once told me that many girls long ago were taught as part of their “Birds and Bees” discussion that “If he has to ask, the answer is ‘No!'”. Now, this is diametrically opposed to the modern (feminist unspired) “anything other than an explicitly asked and answered ‘Yes’ is rape” mentality, so it is hard to say just what’s going on; but my guess is that the former is closer to “instinctive” behavior.

Second, many folks report ups and downs in effectiveness. I have a pet theory that even if the files are working, their effects will be much more pronounced at certain times of the month.

In any case, be patient, and encourage, but don’t push. Even if she is starting to warm to the idea, you aren’t her master (yet).

It is quite possible that the headaches are all about the ultrasonics. No real studies here.

[FaustsBoon]

04/03/2013 at 12:50 pm

Well her headaches really are gone. It was the one night that I introduced the Sledgehammer that we both felt odd, and partially through the next day (while I would be sitting near where the Sledgehammer was running), but it passed, and now we both sleep like babies with the rain tracks running all night.

Update Day 6:

Last night we spent most of the day apart as my wife had to work, and take a car in for repairs. It was a LONG day, and she came home absolutely exhausted. I knew I had no intention of insisting we continue the romance as i’d requested, but asked if she was still interested, just to see the reaction. She was very affectionate, and said she wanted to, but feared she might just drop mid-act. She said she didn’t mind doing something if it was less intense. I, of course, said I knew she was tired, but a blow-job would make me very happy. She said no… but rather didn’t say no so much as she asked if it were ok if she didn’t.

She was still being sweet, nice, and affectionate, so I let it drop, and instead took a moment to do some reinforcement. I told her how happy I was lately, and that I really have noticed her deferring more. I also told her what I told Ami in another thread here, regarding how i’d let my masculinity slip in an effort to help her heal. I told her how I am so happy for her, and how for my own happiness, I now want to return to being my best self, more assertive, etc… I told her I am so grateful for her intelligence, and for the fact that she is wise enough to know being submissive doesn’t mean she isn’t strong and that submission in a healthy relationship is about love, trust, and respect.

She agreed.

I must say… I don’t think I would ever overtly hear her comment on submission in a positive way, or even a neutral one. She didn’t sound 100% sure, but there wasn’t an ounce of hostility/negativity, and she said it was good that I was trying to make a happier me.

[FaustsBoon]

04/03/2013 at 1:03 pm

A further note…

This one is my own struggle… but it is sooooo difficult to stay consistently within the plan i’ve established. I hear something great about, for instance, “His Happiness Sledgehammer” and I immediately want to try it. I won’t, as I want to be measured and take this at a modest pace…. but ye GODS is it a challenge at times. :p

[FaustsBoon]

04/04/2013 at 1:19 pm

Update Day 7:

Little to report really. Last night, my wife came home tired from a poor day at work again, though she did come home to find flowers waiting for her. She said I didn’t need to give them to her, but I told her she deserved them, and that I had been appreciated how hard she seemed to be trying, in general.

When it came time for romance, however, despite promising it the night before, she said she was too tired. She explained that it had been her hope all day, but just didn’t have it in her. I took this as an opportunity to talk further, instead.

I actually asked her about her general dislike for oral sex, and her reservations in general with sex which is sporadic, but obviously enough of a factor that it brought me here. We shared a pretty emotional conversation… and some tears were shed. I think we came away good for having spoken, and she all but admitted that some sex acts have some small association with her abuser. As such, it will be a process to help her through, and move to a place where she can appreciate our love/sex in a healthy way, and enjoy it as much as she or any of us deserve to be able to.

I have decided to remove Slave CS from our program. I’m now wondering if associating wife CS and slave CS wasn’t actually making WIFE CS less effective, versus linking the two terms gently as I hoped? Thoughts?

If I remove Slave CS, our program is now LHO Husband, Submissive Thoughts Wife, and Wife CS. Should I replace the fourth slot with His Happiness Sledgehammer, or do you guys think having FEWER tracks on the existing playlist simply augments their potential effectiveness?

[trainer81]

04/04/2013 at 3:01 pm

Quote from FaustsBoon on April 3, 2013, 13:03
A further note…

This one is my own struggle… but it is sooooo difficult to stay consistently within the plan i’ve established. I hear something great about, for instance, “His Happiness Sledgehammer” and I immediately want to try it. I won’t, as I want to be measured and take this at a modest pace…. but ye GODS is it a challenge at times. :p

haha, same here… but i’m quite sure that in the long run, it is best to be patient and stay the course.

[trainer81]

04/04/2013 at 3:17 pm

i’m certainly no professional, but I think it’s probably a good idea to limit references to “slave” for the time being. it already has a negative connotation and with a history of abuse, it may just seem confusing to her.

that said, it sounds like there is progress being made. I can empathize with you in terms of having a wife come home completely exhausted on a somewhat regular basis. But I think it’s a good sign that she is at least talking to you about sex and seems to be opening herself up to giving you more of what you want, even if she isn’t physically capable of doing so because of her exhaustion.

I think I would focus on files that use “submissive” instead of “slave.” It’s arguably the same thing anyway, depending on how far you take her submission. But she clearly has a positive connotation with submissive at this point, so go with that.

I think the three you’ve got are fine. She’s still new to this, so no need to overwhelm her. If you think His Happiness is better than LHO, then maybe swap those two, but I’d still stick with three instead of four. I like the progression of general to specific. LHO or HH are both sledges that focus on her attitude and outlook towards you and your marriage. STW gets more specific in introducing submissive thoughts, and CS is obviously a very specific act, and will be the one that will most easily show whether she is making progress.

And always positively reinforce. Even a night like last night, tell her how much you enjoyed talking to her about these things and how happy you are with the direction things are moving and that you know it was only because she was exhausted that you two weren’t able to physically connect.

[FaustsBoon]

04/04/2013 at 3:36 pm

Thanks for the thoughts man. I certainly agree, and will definitely keep up the reinforcement.

I promised myself, that for good or ill, I would only change my initial program by reducing files if needed, for at least a few weeks. I will definitely hold to that. Slave CS is gone. The other three will suffice, for now, and I will leave Wife CS in rotation because, again, it is the most specifically measurable change.

[FaustsBoon]

04/05/2013 at 1:50 pm

Update Day 8:

Last night my wife and I had another serious, open-minded discussion about our love-life, our needs, and our general happiness. I can’t help but feel that such a frank discussion would have gone over more poorly in the past, and several moments LITERALLY left me with my mouth hanging open in shock.

We spoke about some of her issues, namely that she never developed her own fantasies. Anything she did was from her then abuser, and as such she has never felt like she had time, desire, opportunity to develop a sexual identity. I told her how important that is, but more-so asked her to trust me (which she does), and start fresh… letting herself have new attitudes towards all things sexual, as she is now safe, loved, and appreciated with someone who cares soooooo deeply for her.

In a very, “no judgement” way, she wanted to know some more of my fantasies/wishes, and wants for a happier, more satisfying sexual side to our relationship. I shared that in a perfect world, I would want daily blow-jobs, more general diversity, and that I really enjoy deeply dominant/submissive sexual relationships. She told me that she was always afraid to embark on something like that because she can conceive of letting go utterly during sex, but it bleeding into all aspects of life, leaving her in the place she once inhabited as a victim.

However she did say she could conceive of doing those things I asked for, and even giving herself an open-mind and chance to enjoy it.

I, was, stunned….

I frankly never expected to even hear a willingness let alone the prospects of baby-steps toward making my wants into our real, functional life.

She has said that the conversation is our “reset” and while things won’t happen over-night or jump right to an extreme, that she will make a concerted effort to take steps.

Is this LHO Husband, and Submissive Thoughts Wife at work? Who knows.

Whether through a personal placebo of me wanting to see change, and thus talking more, and more directly about my wishes, or whether it is the subliminals…. something is beginning to bubble up.

Fingers crossed.

[trainer81]

04/05/2013 at 5:03 pm

Congrats! Sounds like you’re making great progress.

I’d say stick with that lineup for the time being and see where it goes.

[FaustsBoon]

04/05/2013 at 5:38 pm

Do you think there is value in doubling-down on ONE specific outcome, versus going with two?

Lets say, removing both CS files, and adding I Am Submissive Wife, so it would be just a focused, three-file program of LHO, STW, and I am Submissive?

[trainer81]

04/05/2013 at 5:47 pm

My impression is that sledgehammers are pretty powerful so I have always shied away from putting more than one on a playlist. Just my own opinion…

Since CS is inherently submissive, you might keep it on there as a measure of progress.

[FaustsBoon]

04/05/2013 at 6:48 pm

True.

As i’ve been fairly consistent, and kept to my “Lets try one setup for two-weeks” original plan, only changing it to briefly remove Slave CS, I am definitely planning the next tier… building on this current one.

Today marks Day 9 on the program, and I feel like i’ve seen a marked increase in general submission, over-all attitude, and open-mindedness. While all the CS files only yielded one BJ, I at least also opened the door, verbally, in saying I would like MUCH more in that area, and at the least wasn’t met with any sort of open resistance.

I am thinking of trying to add “I Am A Submissive Wife” and returning to four files in a loop, as the next two weeks approaches. This would be LHO Husband, Submissive Thoughts Wife, Wife Cock-Sucker, and I Am A Submissive Wife. I wonder if this setup would be too much, and sometimes I wonder if ANY four files are too much, but I digress.

Does anyone have the script for Sledgehammer I Am A Submissive Wife? I would really appreciate tips as to what it says, specfically if it is sexual submission, or again, more general submission. Help!

[FaustsBoon]

04/06/2013 at 3:33 pm

Day 9:

An ultra brief update. I have nothing to report, though a generally better attitude persists. Our sex-life has seen the fewest tangible changes, but I remain hopeful.

I will tentatively begin transitioning to the above playlist for the next two weeks, in the hopes that encouraging submission over-all will support sexual submission now, and down the road.

I’m wishing for a new breakthrough… but will continue, open-minded, and engaged in the process.

[trainer81]

04/06/2013 at 7:18 pm

I’m no expert, but based on what I read around the site my guess is your a little too early for a sledgehammer like his happiness (though, things seem to be going relatively well for you). Still slow and steady wins the race. Why not focus on something that will help her hear her internal voice and come to grips with her new self BEFORE introducing heavy behavior modification. Again I’m not one to talk as you’ll see my playlists are quiet advanced and long for the most part, but I am under different circumstances.

Basically, my understanding is you really want her perception of self to change before you go into something like his happiness. It may work now, but why not hold off for 2 months when her new identity is set. Just a thought, again, no expert. Don’t need to take it.

Glad to hear things are going so well. Good luck buddy.

[FaustsBoon]

04/07/2013 at 3:24 pm

Day 10:

Wow… Last night was exceptional. Nagging-free, the wife let me have the day to myself (after i’d been working hard all week she just let me veg out with a friend and get some gaming in). She and I had a pleasant day, and all went really well.

And the night… well… the night…. damn.

In a very, very uncharacteristic move, she again gave me an amazing blowjob, but this one was full of a crazy submissive attitude i’d literally not seen from her in years. I mean… it was, put her hair down so I could get a handful of it… begging for it… murmering submissively… Yeah.

It was amazing, and I was so emboldened, and turned on that even after finishing, I was immediately ready to make love, this time we did so tenderly and I made sure she knew how loved she was.

I felt like I was twenty again, and have never been more attracted to my wife.

If this keeps up, I really will have to send Trainer a briefcase full of money. After no blowjobs for months, this week I got two of the most amazing i’ve ever had.

Optimism rising… cynicism slowly wavering.

[FaustsBoon]

04/07/2013 at 3:29 pm

For what it is worth, she NEVER talks dirty… and I had her saying things i’d always wanted to hear, like, “I love sucking your cock,” and “I wanna suck your cock every day.” Its true I was prompting her to say it in between thrusts, but the tone of her voice when she said it back…. MY GOD, did it sound like she was meaning it.

And when we went to make love she was soaking wet… so her body clearly was engaged.

[trainer81]

04/07/2013 at 7:55 pm

Congrats! I’m drinking a beer right now, so a toast to you!!

[tonguester4_69]

04/07/2013 at 10:11 pm

Glad to hear your having such good results. Mine has been the same way as far as talking,during sex,but last time we were together she began to,probably because she knows I like it,but like yours also really seemed to mean it.The blowjobs does she swallow when she gives you one? My wife will get into giving me a BJ but has never really put any effort into learning to swallow. Still blowjobs in general after a drought ain’t a bad start.

[FaustsBoon]

04/07/2013 at 10:28 pm

Mine has always swallowed… it was the act itself which was so infrequent…

So today, my wife was extraordinarily affectionate all day, and was just amazing. She did mention that it will be a bit before she can fully let go and enjoy the rougher acts/play… as she has negative associations, but she was happy that I am so happy today, and will try, for me. Progress!

[FaustsBoon]

04/08/2013 at 1:43 pm

Update Day 12:

Yesterday was nice. To show my thanks and appreciation for an amazing night prior, I took my wife out to get a new pair of shoes she needed, and then took her to a nice dinner. I really made sure she knew, all day, how much i’d enjoyed EVERYTHING about the evening we had, and really reinforced how empowering, satisfying, etc… it was for me, and how happy she makes me. Between her general nature, and her LHO Sledgehammers, I really wanted to drive home how happy I was, so she knew to link my happiness, with her behavior.

I did suggest sex in the evening, but saw she was plainly uninterested, and she also felt a little unwell. Instead of making it a flat-no, however, she did promise that tonight after work we would, if I was interested, and said even if she wasn’t she would take care of me any way I ask. We’ll have to see how it plays out, but a blowjob tonight (even one less hair-pulling, dirty-talking amazing) would mark more of them in this WEEK (it will have technically been the third in eight days), than I probably had in the previous three MONTHS, or more.

I’ve got to say… I am increasingly believing in the power of subliminals and Trainer’s work here. I’m sure it isn’t a magic bullet, and it doesn’t work on its own, in a vaccuum…. but it, combined with patience, increased communication, and the attentiveness of me, as program runner actively trying to make and reinforce these outcomes… well, they all seem to work in tandem to really make things happen.

I will continue this precise path and pace for an extended amount of time, to see if I can really secure these behaviors as permanent. From there, we’ll see how to embark on the next, even more daring steps.

For now, i’ll continue regular updates. Again, I plan to maintain nightly and some daily listening of LHO Husband, Submissive Thoughts Wife, Wife CS, and I am a Submissive Wife, all rain files, for approximately one more month before making ANY changes.

[tonguester4_69]

04/08/2013 at 4:17 pm

That’s been my experience as well,that they help encourage behaviors you want but also requires patience ,attentiveness, and above all patience.You have made astonishingly quick progress. I wish you well.

[limited1]

04/08/2013 at 4:22 pm

FaustsBoon my hat is off to you at the great progress that you have made in such a short time! I’m hoping for the same results as I stay on a slow and steady course like you are doing.

[FaustsBoon]

04/08/2013 at 5:10 pm

Thanks for the kind words, all of you.

No one is happier than I am at the apparent speed of our successes, but it is the same unbelievable speed which has me reminding myself to be measured and cautious. More than anyone, I would love this journal to end up a testament to Trainer and Dreamgirls Subliminals, because if it could win me over, it should impress anyone. :p

I have a lot of theories as of late. In some, it is entirely possible that the subliminals are massively powerful, successful tool. Perhaps my wife is already highly suggestible? Perhaps she was always so close to the cusp of wanting to submit on her own, that all it took was me being far stronger, and insisting it was what I wanted most to be happy?

In reality, I will almost certainly expect to say that it is some combination of all of those things.

As it stands, I am already soooooo happy with my wife’s progress. Sure, as some measure of wish fulfillment I would dream of this continuing, and ending up with her being a kinky, sex-starved, submissive, house-wife… and who knows, maybe that will happen. That said, if the current behaviors really lock in, and nothing else changes except them becoming permanent… I will have been a profoundly happy customer.

Fingers crossed… I’m waiting for it to come undone, frankly, but will also savor the perfect moment.

[trainer81]

04/09/2013 at 5:30 am

Hey buddy!

High five man, read your journal front to back before making mine and seeing the progress she and you have made makes me really happy. In my opinion every man and woman deserves to be as happy as your ultimate fantasy, but can create their own road blocks.

About the impending sense of doom you have (and I share) over the speed in quick success can be ruined by us being too ambitious and impatient. So long as we keep reinforcing the positives and continuing at a pace the subject is comfortable with, hopefully things will be alright. Be romantic with her and make sure to explore the things that aren’t just about sex, but that spark that ignited your romance and keeps it alive. In addition to the sex next weekend for example, I’m going to make sure there is time to go on a romantic picnic for the next session (sadly, will probably be with little to no subliminals, even though mind control gives me an steel stiffy I have to go at her pace).

Wishing you the best bud. Hoping your wife to can one day understand in full the joy of submission.

[Fizbin]

04/09/2013 at 10:48 am

Congratulations again! I applaud your continued self-discipline with regard to both keeping the programs simple, but also taking supporting action as well as holding reasonable expectations!

[FaustsBoon]

04/09/2013 at 12:59 pm

First of all, thank you again for the kind words, guys. I really do feel like having a few of us doing this concurrently is great. I look forward to checking in on how all of you are doing in your own endeavors, and hope putting my thoughts down can help others in turn. Plus, being able to express how i’m feeling, is keeping me from being more impulsive in trying new files, changing things haphazardly, etc… If i’m doing well with that, you all get half-credit.

Update Day 13:

So, some frustration from me today. Women are capricious beings sometimes, and just when you think it is perfect, and you understand them, something pivots.

Last night, the wife came home frustrated, and said she’d been in poor spirits all day, even though she rationally knew everything was ok, and nothing was wrong. Just one of those, got-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-bed things. So she tried to stay positive, but really wasn’t in a good mood.

She’d remembered her “promise” to me, however, when I flirted with her, and rather clinically offered to “help me”. I said that would be amazing, and that a blowjob would really make me happy… to which she said she didn’t want to. In an effort to make clear that she doesn’t get to decide things for me, without consulting me in the matter, I politely told her… I don’t really want that (She literally would’ve ended up watching TV and just going about it robotically… my pre-program wife always treated handjobs as a chore, compromise to shut me up). I told her she could do as I ask, and make me happy, giving me that blowjob, or i’d just rather go to bed. She in turn asked if those were the only options (She’d already said she was too tired to make love) and when I said, “yes”, she said, lets go to bed in that case.

It wasn’t angry… no one was spiteful, etc… so it was just sort of conversational… but my God did it leave me confused.

I realize nothing in any program I have run, insists that she does what I ask. In theory her files suggest general submission, encourage her to appreciate and value me, and also to more want/enjoy oral sex. In writing this, I realize she isn’t acting out of the program when she says, “no”, but rather the way she is saying it more tenderly should be considered progress.

That all said… it can be so frustrating going from a day where the subliminals seem to have worked like magic, and she is already “done” with her evolution, to a day where she seems 98% like the wife I started this journey with.

Should I expect ebb and flow? Should I see setbacks even under the best of conditions? What is the healthiest way to respond? I never know when to be firmer and authoritative, or just let it go, and continue slowly watching the subliminals take hold.

I don’t know… part of me feels like innundating her with subliminals encouraging submission, should result in her being more likely to just do as she is told especially when she knows it is what I want, to be happy.

[trainer81]

04/09/2013 at 2:35 pm

Yes, you should expect ebb and flow. I don’t think one night is anything to stress over. You want to look at behavior patterns over time, and overall, things are headed in the right direction. It’s only human to look at the last data point as having more meaning than the rest, but just shrug it off.

I like your “no compromise” approach. I think that was a good way to handle it, even if you didn’t get what you wanted last night. I think, in the end, taking that approach will pay off for you. You don’t want your wife constantly negotiating with you. It’s entirely possible that this was a test of hers. Not necessarily a conscious one. But I think you showed that you no longer are willing to settle, so let’s hope her subconscious picked up on that.

I strongly recommend that you DO NOT talk about last night. Positive reinforcement always. (As an aside, I recently read a parenting book that recommended praising kids when they do something right, no matter how small or insignificant, and ignoring what they do wrong. It’s actually been pretty effective for my son.) So basically, pretend last night never happened.

Whenever you next talk about your sex life, just tell her how much you’ve enjoyed X, Y, and Z (where those are whatever specific actions and behaviors of hers that you want to reinforce). If she brings up last night, spin it into something positive – “I appreciate that you were willing to please me even though you were in a bad mood, but I don’t want you to just go through the motions. sex with you (or bj) is so fantastic when we’re both fully engaged in the moment. It makes me so happy when you are full of desire for me.” something like that.

Now, if last night’s behavior becomes habitual, then it will be time to reevaluate. But hopefully it was just a one-off event.

[FaustsBoon]

04/09/2013 at 3:17 pm

Thanks man. Your advice, and how you frame it does me a world of good, and i’m grateful.

I definitely had similar thoughts as you regarding my “no compromise” moment… though i’m hoping I executed it well. Was giving her an, “out” (IE… or we’ll just go to bed) nullify any value in standing firm in what I wanted… or did it just make it even easier for her to “win”?

I’ll also keep being positive in reinforcement. I always try to be, but have really ramped it up since starting this program. I will admit, one of the hardest things is not showing my disappointment when things don’t go as I expected/planned. I don’t mean for it to be a negative reinforcement, but am sure its a subtle one. Its something i’ll definitely work on.

[tonguester4_69]

04/09/2013 at 3:20 pm

I agree with acwilson. Life happens and hormones and the like affect women to cause them to act in strange ways sometimes.She’s not always going to be into serving you, no matter how submissive she becomes.Some times it is gong to feel like a chore to her.It’s very easy when you see great success such as you have to expect a little more stability in her behavior, but I think a lot of it new to her. I do think it’s good that you took a stand and sometimes it will be frustrating. Just stick to the plan,positively reinforce and I think things will right themselves in short order

[trainer81]

04/09/2013 at 4:37 pm

Look at it this way:

she made you a promise. Her attempt at fulfilling that promise wasn’t what you wanted. Had you compromised, you would have gotten something you didn’t want AND she would have felt like she held up her end of the bargain (i.e., she would feel like she kept her promise).

Giving her a way out is fine because she still knows that she owes you what she promised.

Simply put, no half-assing it. Either do it all the way, or don’t do it at all.

[trainer81]

04/09/2013 at 5:20 pm

Just a suggestion. Next time she gets like that why not give her oral? She’s stressed out and probably doesn’t want to put the work in that particular night, but you can still keep her mind on a sexual track. It would show her that your willing to make the same strides as her, relieve the tension and all that. I know you want her to be the submissive one, but pampering your woman with a massage and oral sex on a day that she’s stressed might help move the process along and she’ll remember it when it comes time to pay you back.

[FaustsBoon]

04/09/2013 at 7:55 pm

Well she has always been reticent about receiving oral sex. I offer, often, but she has a lot of self confidence issues, and only when pressed will let it happen (though she does then always enjoy it).
I appreciate the thoughts guys, and will indeed just take this small bump as that… a small bump. I do feel largely good about not allowing myself to compromise as if just undoes work i’ve already done, and yes, while it did leave me unsatisfied it also, I imagine, made a point gently, but clearly.
I guess we’ll see how tonight goes, and just keep on, keeping on, until we get to real plateau that feels like lasting success.

[FaustsBoon]

04/10/2013 at 1:25 pm

Update Day 14:

Eerily similar report, so i’ll be brief. As my wife’s sleep/work schedule was identical to the day prior, she was equally exhausted and we spent equally little time together.

When evening game, I again made some advances, but as she was sleeping on my arm, during the last thirty minutes of television, I assumed, correctly, she would want to go straight to bed.

Again, sensing my frustration, she offered to “help me out” before bed. Again, she meant a half-assed handjob. I repeated my comment from the night before saying, what I wanted, and if I could not get it, I would rather just go to bed, and again she took the go to bed option. I took this as an opportunity, as ACWilson suggested to explain in a positive way, that I have decided i’m no longer willing to settle for mediocre, when it has been so amazing, loving, and wonderful when she has been more engaged lately.

I did have a brief moment of frustration, and while I bit my tongue, constantly remembering to avoid negative reinforcements, said frustration did get the better of me and I slipped out a comment I probably shouldn’t have. In a very neutral way, I did mention that I feel like she has been saying my happiness was the most important thing, to her, often lately, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like her actions have matched up. Again, I bit my tongue, so this came out without hostility or much negativity, but I do know it was probably a slip from me.

Thing is, pre-subliminals… this was how it was. Four or five days of me asking about physical intimacy MIGHT get it on the fifth or sixth day. Essentially for all of our conversations, subliminals etc… this week we feel right back where we started in this realm. Her general attitude does seem somewhat better/softer, but the “obey” part of LHO Sledgehammer, and Submissive Thoughts Wife, isn’t manifesting in the least. Also, WIFE CS has obviously taken a four day hiatus at this point. :p

Ebb and flow…. ebb and flow. I’ll just keep reminding myself, and continue on course.

[trainer81]

04/10/2013 at 3:29 pm

Question – when your wife was more engaged over the past two weeks, did it ever occur when she was exhausted?

My wife’s work schedule can be equally brutal at times, and if she is obviously exhausted when she gets home, then I usually don’t even bother trying. If anything I encourage her to go to bed as soon as possible, in the hopes that she’ll have a good night’s sleep and be ready the next night. (Happened last night, in fact – details in my journal)

I’m kind of hoping her good days coincided with the days that she was feeling refreshed and her bad days coincided with the days that she was exhausted, because that would give you an easy answer…

I’ve never used it, but there is a “Good night sleep” file in the self-help folder.

[FaustsBoon]

04/10/2013 at 3:43 pm

Well the two occasions that felt particularly special were on days off, yes… so that could have some influence, or maybe a great deal of it. Here’s the thing about my wife though… She’s amazing, has a good heart, and I love her immensely, but for her, exhaustion comes easily, because she DECIDES she is exhausted. If there was something she was enthusiastic about doing, I guarantee you she would have normal energy and be as engaged as she wanted to me.

She is definitely someone who had an unbringing which always encouraged her to do the bare minimum to get by. Her parents, frankly, are lazy crap, who had more bad influence on her than years and years with me can undo. :p She is also incredibly intelligent, so again, even school, etc… required so little effort from her, that is just encouraged the behavior.

Since starting the program, having our talks, etc… there was definitely a stretch well outside her comfort-zone. If not sexually, she was, for much of the last two weeks, more inclined to clean, and generally just not phone in being a wife.

The last three days, however, she is right back to where she was.

My fear is, all the positive reinforcement from our last great day together, with her attentiveness, the amazing sex, etc… was received by her mind as, “Great… I did well. I’m done now,” which is definitely how her mind has worked in the past.

[Fizbin]

04/10/2013 at 11:52 pm

I think you might be getting a little too eager. This is a long game. Yes you want to reinforce, but you’ve been trying to change a lot of stuff at once. Plus, I’m of the opinion you really, really, need to take her monthly cycle into account with your expectations.

A big part of the Love Honor and Obey bargain is your counter of Love honor and Cherish. Are you cherishing her, or just giving her orders and ultimatums. A little tenderness here and meeting “her needs” might go a long way. Not “if I can’t have it my way, let’s just go to bed”, but rather “You’ve had a hard day. Let’s not worry about ‘x activity’ for now, and just do something relaxing (e.g. watch a movie, or just cuddle for a while).”

[FaustsBoon]

04/11/2013 at 2:04 pm

Trust me… few husbands here, or otherwise, dote on their partner as much as I do. I absolutely put her wants and needs first, 100% of the time, which is precisely how we got into a situation with such a gross power-imbalance. Likewise other than Wife CS, every file on the very focused playlist I am playing is essentially an extention of LHO Husband, so I really don’t see myself changing all that much. If anything I think i’ve been pretty measured and focused thus far.
Positive update to follow in a few hours.

[FaustsBoon]

04/11/2013 at 6:26 pm

Day 15/16 Update:

A pleasant evening/morning to report. We spent a wonderful night together, and relaxed watching a movie, as the wife was feeling really unwell. It did invite a pleasant, joking conversation that everything had been going so well, before life derailed her efforts to be more engaged/attentive in general (she said this, not prompted by me). She said things would go back to the improved way I had mentioned I felt things had been the moment circumstances stopped interfering.

My wife woke me up, sweetly asking if I wanted to make-love, this morning. She is usually very, regimented, in that if we have sex, it is at night before bed. This being out of routine was lovely, and while it wasn’t the epic it might have been had I taken charge, it was loving, and really special. I could definitely tell she was more involved and was really trying to make it good. No oral sex involved, though I asked in the midst of things, but it is hard to deny my beautiful wife when she uncharacteristically moans, and asks me to cum inside her instead. :p

It was great, and we both started the day happier for it. It also reminds me to not only account for ebb/flow, and cycles, are per Fizbin’s likely correct wisdom, but also the fact that life conspires to ruin the best laid plans of mice and men. :p

[Fizbin]

04/11/2013 at 10:42 pm

Glad to hear things are back on an even keel. The oral isn’t my bag, but if I could get my wife to a: initiate (anything), and b: go for morning sex, I think I’d be in heaven.

[FaustsBoon]

04/11/2013 at 11:25 pm

Well… the thing is, yes, I enjoy oral sex very much… but it isn’t a single-minded must have, for me. It IS however something she only rarely would have ever done, AND a highly specific subliminal. As such… I added it, almost as a control, and is something very specific I can monitor, whereas “general submissiveness” is sort of hard to quantify. :p

[FaustsBoon]

04/15/2013 at 4:59 pm

Update Day 17/18/19:

Shockingly little to report, and what I could, would be largely negative. Despite changing nothing in my behavior, nor the program, and with no changes in my wife’s life/job, etc… I feel she has regressed. The last few days seem a return to the slightly more selfish/self-centric wife. She has made fewer efforts to be attentive, is slightly less inclined to do what I ask…

We haven’t had any sex/intimacy for about four days now. She is quick to offer me a handjob, but I continue to respectfully decline saying that I feel she is kind in offering, but that I can tell it is something she does without being present or interested, and she refuses when I ask for oral sex. Honestly, beyond the initial results, Wife Cock-Sucker has seemed to do essentially nothing towards her willingness, interest, etc… in the act.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if a program break, or change in program is due? For now, I keep enduring, keeping the exact same program for a full month before making changes. Its just odd… after one week of seemingly dramatic, instant results, we’re now inching toward the month mark, with my wife seemingly back where we started.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Increasingly I am sure my goal is true and complete submission. I would like to focus on this, and dramatically work toward this goal… but have no idea how to even advance such an end when she still usually balks at submission, and loathes being told what to do, so much so that her bitchiest instincts rear up at even the notion of just “doing what she is told”.

Again, we remain using Love Honor Obey Husband, Wife CS, and I Am Submissive/Submissive Thoughts Wife (I don’t recall which at the moment…)

[FaustsBoon]

04/15/2013 at 9:11 pm

Here’s a random question…

I’ve never run the Amy Converter. It was a step I skipped as I thought all it did was smooth over the participant’s willingness to listen to rain files. As my wife happily listened to the rain files from the get-go when I suggested they were for relaxation, I figured it was unneeded.

In reading through the archives of the old forums, I see soooo many people using it to open the mind to reception of subliminals in general. Is this an item I need in my bag of tricks, as my hunch is that my wife has started tuning our the subliminals, as we’re entered week 3 of constant play.

[FaustsBoon]

04/16/2013 at 2:23 pm

Update Day 20:

Last night I was treated, to a very submissive, gentle, and loving blowjob, which required no demanding on my part, just asking. It was great and was the reminder I needed that over-all, this playlist does seem to be working. Again, I know one outcome isn’t life-altering, nor proof, but three BJs in two weeks has still been more than I had received in the three-four months prior, combined.

Likewise, as week three of this specific playlist is coming to a close, I am realizing that it has been over-all, quite effective. On the whole, my wife does defer to me more often, is quicker to fight, and when she does stand firm on something she does so gingerly, and without a fight. She rolls her eyes less, and just feels like she pushes back less against anything that doesn’t precisely match her usual thinking.

There have been set-backs, sometimes several days in a row where the tone, and apparent effects are just so different, but cycles exist as Fizbin suggests, so who knows. I just know that consistency and patience is key, even when it is just about the hardest thing in the world.

In the next week I plan to begin a transition to something different. I am still working out what this will be, but as I am largely impressed with current results, I think my aim is to push things while maintaining some continuity. LHO Husband has been a staple of my program so far, so I will maintain it for certain… especially as her general submission is the area of greatest improvement, and I would love to let it further/more deeply take hold as her permanent routine.

I think the remaining two slots (I really try to keep fewer than three files in a play-list), will become Accepting Slavery and My Husband is My Master. Accepting Slavery has a lot of language allowing and encouraging fantasizing, which is something I believe would be good for my wife. It is likewise a gentle way to introduce those ideas without the aggressive tone of “I have no rights” etc… which seems wayyyyyyyy too intense to ever start someone on. My Husband is my Master, meanwhile, feels like an increase in the notions of dominance/submission while still being rooted in LHO Husband.

I have considered using Amy Converter, during a transitionary few days as well.

Thoughts?

[Fizbin]

04/17/2013 at 11:37 am

That sounds pretty reasonable. Are you going to give her a break before the updated list starts?

[FaustsBoon]

04/17/2013 at 12:34 pm

Not Quite An Update Day 21 (Nothing to report but a pleasant day, with an odd stand-out moment where my wife, out of nowhere, said that making me happy, makes her happy. The line was out of place so I looked, and couldn’t find it in any of the scripts i’ve been running… it was wonderfully pleasant though. )

@Fiz Life is going to give her a break. :p She’s leaving to visit her parents and attend a baby-shower, and will be out of town for four days or so. As it perfectly coincides with the end of our first full-month on the program, it strikes me as a perfect time to transition.

I worry that the next play-list will have no easy to spot markers/behaviors, for testing purposes, though it does fit my long-term plan. I am always worried about adding a fourth file, as it just seems like a lot…. but i’m tempted to keep including Wife CS just for the demonstratable results.

Problem is, I don’t want to run Accepting Slavery, without My Husband is My Master, as they sort of combine to say one specific thing.

Anyone have any thoughts on what behaviors to look for with these files? I mean, unless I open a dialogue on Master relationships, I can’t think to too many places where the effects might first bubble up.

[FaustsBoon]

04/17/2013 at 7:44 pm

Very random aside… I just signed up for a Gold Membership, as I am eager to try the new Hypnosis files, but have no intention of dropping $200 on unproven tech. As such, the current Gold membership seems like a great upgrade for a mere $40.

That said… their message boards are even more dead than here. Go figure. Zero discussions taking place there.

[Fizbin]

04/17/2013 at 11:38 pm

Yeah, I was a bit disappointed in that myself.

In any case, although none of the files may explicitly say that phrase, LHO definitely says that she “enjoys” making you happy, and STW says she enjoys pleasing you. Sounds synonymous to me!

[Tap]

04/18/2013 at 12:30 am

I just have a comment for Trainer, I was interested in downloading the My husband is my master silent, but it said no package found.

[FaustsBoon]

04/18/2013 at 12:17 pm

Nothing much to report, so I won’t even call this a proper update. The wife was exhausted from work, which increasingly is the biggest hurdle to working this program in its most intended way. That said, she and I had a nice night, relaxed, share an intentionally bad movie. All is well.

I have told her that on Friday we are going to try the relaxation self-hypnosis. She said it sounds more like a guided meditation as it doesn’t overtly trigger any behaviors, etc… I snickered inside, hopefully, and said that was possible.

Either way, it looks like i’m going to be the first of us few active posters to give it a go. I wonder if it will do anything, as repetition is so central to these subliminals, but there is no way i’m going to justify a daily hypnosis session. Will one or two plays a week accomplish anything? I’m doubtful. I’m slowly coming around to seeing value in the core subliminals… but without overt triggers, I don’t know if this will really do anything.

[Fizbin]

04/18/2013 at 12:24 pm

It could help, as her subconscious is already “sensitized” to ultrasonic messaging. But I guess there’s a reason this is called a Beta…

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to participate directly, as my wife won’t have anything to do with anything that smacks of hypnosis.

[FaustsBoon]

04/18/2013 at 12:34 pm

Well I am definitely curious, and thus took the $44 gamble. We shall see, at the very least. I think what might be fascinating, if Trainer is looking for the intersection between subliminals and conventional hypnosis, is to include inductions, etc… with specific trigger words related to an action, in the surface level vocal track (IE, whenever you hear “X” you will relax), and use that same word in the subliminal linked to a different action, (“You will become aroused when you hear “X”)…. then seeing if the trigger is linked to both behaviors, and if the mind welcomed, inadvertantly, both responses when it accepted the vocal one.

[FaustsBoon]

04/18/2013 at 11:38 pm

Surprise opportunity to try the hypnosis presented itself. Wife was feeling a little unwell and sleep and was up for trying it.

She sat comfortably and zoned out while listening in a quiet room… She had warned me she might fall asleep during it as she was so tired… and she did. She said she felt slightly relaxed afterwards, but honestly knows she was conked out and asleep during the bulk of it.

No other apparent results, but she said we could try again tomorrow when I offered, as she said it might work better when she feels more fully awake to begin with.

[trainer81]

04/19/2013 at 5:51 am

Misread your statement and can’t find the delete button XD. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.

[FaustsBoon]

04/19/2013 at 10:49 pm

So we attempted the hypnosis file again. Despite being well rested this time, my wife yet again briefly fell asleep during the file. She awoke about 75% through, realizing she’d fallen asleep, and in adjusting her position, etc… was mostly not into it for the last portion of the 18-or-so-minutes.

She claimed to feel slightly more relaxed afterwards, but thus far no other observable effects.

Again, to date this is our second concerted effort at using the file, seated comfortably in a quiet room.

She has copied the file to her phone, however (I had renamed it “Relax Hypno”), and has said perhaps she was sit in her car and try it during lunch-break at work, which is when she most often feels stressed. I will see if she follows through and uses it, but have also told her we could try another session Sunday if she doesn’t get the opportunity to do so herself, tomorrow.

[FaustsBoon]

04/20/2013 at 2:07 pm

No update today, as the post above this essentially captures our day and program-centric activities (we did play an amazing 200pt game of X-wing miniatures… but I digress).

I am more posting because I am wanting to clear my head, shed a little doubt, and get back into the game, proper.

The last week has been pleasant enough, but I feel like progress has slowed to a crawl, or hit a pause altogether. Compared to a month ago, I legitimately believe I see a more gentle, and more generally submissive spouse. Even though it is arbitrary, i’ll say she is 20% better in that regard. IF that is true, and not just me looking for signs/successes as a pattern-seeking-animal, that humans are, then I am happy about that progress and eagerly hope it continues.

I do feel, however, that the successes are largely compartmentalized. I feel like as it pertains to our sex-life, the progress, barring one or two shining moments, is simply not there.

As such… I’m throwing this out to all of you…. where do I go next?

As i’ve said, my wife will be gone for four days, later this week. This, coincidentally times perfectly with the end of our first full month in the program.

For 30 days, she has listened to…

LHO Husband
Submissive Thoughts Wife
Wife Cocksucker
Slave Cocksucker (this was removed after about a week as I felt three tracks looped might be superior)

For the last five days I have also periodically played the Amy Converter in a room which we might be hanging out in.

What now? As i’ve mentioned… I was thinking of changing to a playlist of

LHO Husband
Accepting Slavery
My Husband is My Master

While this seems like logical progress toward ultimate goals… do I switch to this despite not being 100% satisfied with the results of the previous play-list? I would take another month on the prior list if I thought it would help, but have also heard people report that message fatigue can be a real issue.

Frankly, i’m at a loss, and am feeling indecisive. While I have a trajectory in mind, I feel like there is so little documentation on experienced-based-findings, etc… that I just want to make sure i’m proceeding sensibly and not doing anything “wrong”.

I love my wife, continuously reinforce good behaviors, and while I air my frustrations here, I have been very measured, bar one incident, in how I have been, emotionally, around her.

The last piece of this puzzle, of course, is that I have just introduced the new Hypnosis-Beta file. My results thus far can be seen above, but again, without anyone else to corroborate findings, I don’t know if i’m using it judiciously… if it should be used alongside my usual program… if I should be looking for certain results/effects, etc…?

[FaustsBoon]

04/20/2013 at 9:06 pm

Minor addition to the above post…

Third attempt at a hypnosis session with wife, after a hard day at work.

She fell asleep within two minutes, despite saying she wasn’t at all sleepy prior.

No other observable effects.

So far, it just puts her to sleep… snoring and all. :-p

Um… yeah. Not sure this is working in the least, thus far.

[trainer81]

04/20/2013 at 11:52 pm

Aren’t the subliminals supposed to be programming her in the background, and the behavior will show with time? Also what is the goal of the relaxation tape?

[trainer81]

04/21/2013 at 3:32 am

I’m a seasoned hypnotic subject, and the relaxation file even puts me to sleep. It’s just so boring. There’s nothing to do, nothing of great interest to pay attention to… It’s like sitting in a math class where the professor just drones on and on in monotone about things you don’t care about until you give up and fall asleep.

Normally, that would be a problem because if you’re asleep, then you’re not really in trance, and thus you’re not responding to the suggestions. However, since the real suggestions are not in the hypnotic script but rather the subliminals playing in the background, I don’t think it’s an issue if she falls asleep. The important thing is that she’s open and getting used to trancing (which opens the door for more complex trances in the future, perhaps with some real suggestions as opposed to just “relax”) and that she’s being exposed to the subliminal.

I expect that the subliminal will take a while to show any effects. After all, she’s only being exposed to it for about 20 minutes a day. The trance probably helps a little bit because it heightens suggestibility, but if she’s falling asleep, you kind of lose that benefit. That said, during the times when I’ve managed to stay awake through the whole thing, I generally come out of it feeling a bit aroused. However, I don’t know whether that’s because the subliminals are working, or if it’s just because I know what they’re supposed to do (roughly, anyway; I don’t know the specifics).

[FaustsBoon]

04/21/2013 at 12:49 pm

Well… if it is just putting her to true-sleep, and exposing her to twenty minutes of a new Sledgehammer…. why not just release the new Sledgehammer and let me loop it all night? :p

No… I know it is a beta-test, but yeah, I don’t think it is working precisely as intended. Now if it was inducing a real trance, and could let me then make suggestions it might be a fascinating tool. As is, I think it is just not quite there yet.

I could be wrong, mind you, but so far it is three-for-three of just putting her to sleep.

So, anyone have any thoughts on my larger post? I’d really appreciate any advice as i’m really not sure how to proceed.

[trainer81]

04/21/2013 at 8:47 pm

Yes, actually I do. I’ve just been lazy about collecting my thoughts. Alright, for playlists keep in mind I’m a scrub at this (my first playlist was way too ambitious) but before I can make suggestions about that I have one question (forgive me if you’ve already stated and my memory does not recall). Have you talked about BDSM, or S&M play with her before? Have you guys participated in it, or anything very kinky? Has she tried bondage? Has she ever called you Master or been refered to as slave and if so what is her response to such behaviors?

Reading your journal, and knowing the 2 of you as well as that would allow me I think you need to focus on things outside the subliminals and sex (though not excluding foreplay), which is get her more comfortable with her sexuality/reconnect your romance. I think it’s always possible to throw more kindling on the fire. No matter how in love you are, or how stable your relationship is. My GF was able to come to terms with her submissive desires and ultimately her identity as a slave only in moments where she was secure with my love for her. There are lots of little ways you can do this. Openly flirting in private is a great one, if your girl is comfortable with it. If she’s not its possible to make her comfortable with it, its a slow process but as someone with a gf who had a lot of self esteem issues you can ask me for more on that. The ultimate goal is to get her comfortable with her own sexuality and sex drive, so you can introduce her to the desires of true submission, and she can feel comfortable with herself in your presence.
Don’t just tell her you love her, show her frequently. Take her out dancing, or for a romantic walk in a nice garden or park. Something she wants to do. Maybe try to devote a few hours to that once a week. Example, I hate dancing but we’re going to be taking ballroom dancing classes this summer. I make sure my gf knows that even though I hate the activity I go because I love her and I want to make her happy (but obviously I don’t grumble and complain, she just knows that about me). Whens the last time you took the lady to a nice dinner? You have kids if I remember correctly who live at home? It’s harder with kids, especially with open flirting. But see if you can make some time for this. I think you’ll be amazed how responsive she’ll get to your desires if you can instill a daily feeling of deep love, romance and devotion. If you manage to get this going it makes a BDSM talk so much easier.

[Fizbin]

04/21/2013 at 9:42 pm

It is sounding like the new hypno file is not really helping. (At least, the hypno aspect of it.) Who knows whether the subliminal aspect of it is taking. I don’t think you have enough reps of it to determine one way or the other.

As for the updated playlist, I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as all of the files are moving her in a behavioral direction you are comfortable with.

I don’t know if you are interested, but there is one other file that has a distinctive, but “non-debilitating” effect you might want to consider if you are looking for a way to check for results. Feminine Dress Code – Husband.

[trainer81]

04/23/2013 at 7:22 pm

I asked my GF about 50 shades of grey as a response to your post in my journal. First of all, I was mistaken, she hasn’t read it all, just a few chapters, and skimmed the rest. She wasn’t a fan “If that women bites her lower lip anymore I swear I’ll rip it off!” And recommended that you research a better BDSM novel, she claimed that there wasn’t anything “That showed the love and romance of BDSM” in it, but maybe she didn’t read far enough. I know in sex shops (not in recent memory) I’ve seen some good BDSM novels (or said to be good), but I can’t remember them. Maybe someone else can give our friend here advice in this area? Can anyone vouch for 50 shades of grey?

I have mixed feelings about 50 shades of grey. To be frank, my GF and I are pretty picky about good storytelling and how it’s delivered. So maybe we don’t have the best perspective. I think whatever you give her should be a published novel though, something with some first impression legitimacy behind it is better even though I’ve read some great free erotica. But yeah, I’ve looked over and I’m unsure, is your goal S&M play with your wife? Full on slavery? If so, what percentage of the time? And all my previous questions before I can give any real advice. Goodluck.

[FaustsBoon]

04/23/2013 at 8:27 pm

Hey guys…

So, not much to report again in the way of updates. The last two days really have just been more of the same. My wife is very much frazzled by work, and doesn’t know how not to take things home with her, and as such, it has definitely slowed our progress.

To answer more directly though…

I’d like to think there is an abundance of love, spark, and romance in my relationship, at least from my side of things. I have always worked to be extremely giving, nurturing, supportive, etc… Without going into detail, I most definitely have always been, and have stayed the, “flowers for no reason” “surprise candles lit when you get home and find a bath waiting”… type.

My wife… slightly less so. She, by her nature, tends to be pretty emotionally reserved. I know she loves me, and she has no problem saying and meaning it… but she was also someone raised in a house where no one said that, and everyone, above all else, fended for themselves. To that end, she is capable, and strong, but not nearly as practiced in sharing, being giving, etc… Honestly, while not abusive, her parents were crap and did her no favors in raising her to be a loner.

The other thing I should mention… is that dancing won’t happen for us…. mostly because, I am in a wheelchair. See, I was reticent about getting into it, but the truth is, as someone who has been in a wheelchair my entire life, there are nuances to power in a relationship, etc… that emerge as a result. Frankly, i’m impressed sometimes that we have as normal a relationship as we do, considering some of the complications that exist from time to time.

If someone helps in your care, day-to-day, it absolutely shifts power dynamics, and so on, and I am always best working out how to make it gel. And yes, it goes without saying, that I am sure I crave power/dominance in our sexual life, because I have so little physical dominance in any other corner of daily life.

As for your thoughts Fiz… Would you say moving onto the new playlist makes sense, assuming it is where I would like things to head, even if the prior results aren’t 100% there? Is it, in your mind, worth switching up, or should I essentially try a redux of month-one?

[FaustsBoon]

04/23/2013 at 8:54 pm

As a small addition… I think until a revision, or some sort of guided “tips” guide manifests, I might try to stop pressing the hypnosis issue.

Obviously it is a beta, and obviously we’re trying something new, but thus far it has been pretty disappointing. My wife has fallen asleep, even while trying it well-rested, on four out of four occasions. She has also said it is something she might not want to try again, as it just makes her fall asleep. As such, she isn’t increasingly interested in listening to it, nor does it seem to have any other effect, quite yet.

Honestly, and no disrespect intended here… but I wish Trainer would spend more time supporting users, and helping us TEST the product, than worrying about how to price, or sell it, in its current form.

[trainer81]

04/24/2013 at 1:06 am

I can see how your situation would cause complications while trying to transition to the BDSM or S&M lifestyle (which I assume is your ultimate goal). For me, and for a lot of Doms the issue was getting the girl open and trusting enough to allow submissive vulnerability out on display. I grew up in a situation very much like your wifes, and I understand how it could effect her personality. I myself am very anti social due to a simular upbringing and when around people I don’t trust, very stoic. While my GF is working on accepting her inner slave I am working on being more social, hence the dancing thing. It’s a lot of give and take, and if you’re giving more then your taking something is going wrong.

There have been times myself and my GF have felt our spark dying or out, and we both had to work really hard to get it back. There is no quick fix for this, just little steps day by day and a firm commitment and goal. Since she came from such an environment, especially if it was an environment of neglect she may have submissive desires she may not be aware of (again, this is only my experience), but introducing your partner to this world and inner desires is always the hardest step imo. In my cause my GF had strong desires to submit, but wouldn’t allow me to know until 4 years into dating her! Girls don’t always wear that side of themselves on their sleeves. While your descriptions certainly have the romantic side down, how about the sexual side? You want her to be aware that she’s a sexy woman who pleases you and that you only want to be closer to her. I take it you haven’t done anything very kinky yet, why not start with bondage? (you can start with simple ties, I recommend googling two knotty boys) You can let her know that the restrictions on her body excite you because of your lack of physical power over her, and be honest about your desires. BE WARNED though, talks like these can backfire VERY EASILY so be prepared if you do this. Know what your walking into, and access the risk for yourself. When asking my GF about 50 Shades of Grey (forgot to mention) I told her that I thought your wife hadn’t been introduced to your sexual desires and that you just had a standard marriage. She agreed that a BDSM talk right off the back would probably freak her out, but you could start by telling her your sexual desires, maybe start by watching some softcore S&M play porn together. Let her know that you love her reguardless, but you have to be honest about what exites you, say that you’d like to add a little spice to your romance and that this would help both of you escape your pre-existing roles and allow you to discover something new about your love. I know the age gap between us is significant, but if you can find ways to connect with her it may help restart that spark Talk it out, be honest with her about why you are attracted to this and why it interests you, and that includes exposing your vulnerabilities like you did with this supportive community. We’re all behind you, and rooting for you all the way. Again, I really would like to stress how risky a move this is, but I also feel it is the best way to progress if you can work it out. After all, if she doesn’t know your true desires, how can she meet you there? If you think some more exposure to submissive self perception programs such as forming a slaves mind and others is required or you think she’ll be unable to handle even the thought of your attraction to the lifestyle I highly recommend you LISTEN TO YOUR GUT AND DO WHAT YOU THINK IS THE RIGHT MOVE. I think, just given her background and daily routine she might also desire this but be unaware of it, maybe even afraid because she’s never let go before. It’s just natural for people exposed to that much responsibility to want to surrender, as it is for people in your situation to crave power. It’s just very hard to admit to ourselves and many have a hard time accepting this part of their identity. Even if she isn’t into it at first many girls who truly love their partner try it for their sake, but this is again, a most delicate process. I can’t tell you how hard it was to get my GF to the level she’s at or how many times I thought “Maybe I should just call this quits.” Start with light bondage and light S&M porn if she is open to it, and see where it goes. See if you can unsurface any submissive desires. She will probably only let out that vulnerability if you let out yours so remember to be 100% honest and unashamed.

Here’s my thing about the playlist, if she doesn’t view herself as a slave will your set playlist really have much of an effect? I don’t think so. I think a really good one for a starting slave is “forming a slaves mind” and other subliminals that encourage submissive thoughts and self perception, but perhaps not outright slavery.

Edit: God damnit, I read your post wrong again. What the hell is wrong with me? That’s good that there’s a spark between you guys, you said you know your wife loves you but doesn’t express it? If that is the case then that’s good! Really good! It makes the BDSM talk easier, presuming you decide it’s the right move and makes a lot of my typing irrelevant. Just never give up on it, there;s a lot of struggle and hardship for most in the beginning, but if you’re naturally inclined to it, if you can make it past all the obsticles along the way, it will strengthen your relationship 1000x fold. but there are still adversities you have to overcome and some bumps on that road. It took me 7 years to get mine to a real slave, and even that is not 24/7 or ok with some of my ultimate goals, and theres always a chance of and inevitable regression. Blah, I’m sure I’m blathering on, wish I had read it right the first time XD.

[Fizbin]

04/24/2013 at 2:13 am

I would say to switch it up, and let the CS file stew in her mind for a while. You can always bring it back later. You might also try your hand at doing something a bit more custom.

[FaustsBoon]

04/24/2013 at 3:35 pm

I think i’m worried about trying customs just yet. I think i’d like to feel more secure in knowing the professional ones work first, before I try my own hand.

[FaustsBoon]

04/26/2013 at 10:19 pm

Update Day 30:

So I haven’t done a proper numbered update in about eight days, but between the additional posts I have made, I feel i’ve marked most of the progress that did or did not happen. The last two days, however, have been really significant and warrant a proper, full posting…

A few days ago, I pointed out to my wife that it had been a month since we sat down for our very open and candid talk about our sexual relationship. I made sure she knew it was a positive conversation, and one more about reflection than anything else. We had a nice dinner, and then spoke, and I made sure she knew that I really appreciated how much more attentive i’ve felt her to be.

I explained that we weren’t at a place where we should stop working at it, or moving to positive effect, but that I already felt the impact of her efforts, and that I am grateful for them, for the added intimacy, the increased openness in our conversations about it, etc…

Of course, she doesn’t know about our subliminal program, but giving her the credit obviously made he happy. She was warm, and looked glad that i’d noticed her effort.

She also said she has enjoyed me more in the last month. She didn’t know if it was from my relaxation/confidence “rain files” or what… but she has really liked the way i’ve carried myself, and that it made her happy to see me happier.

Of note, we found out the next day that a couple we are friends with, are swingers, and into a very alternative sex-life. This provided a jumping off point for a great conversation, which expanded on that of a month ago. I told her how much I enjoyed kinks that we haven’t explored, and also again mentioned how important an increasingly submissive/dominant relationship is something I genuinely want for my long term happiness.

While she didn’t sound open to every idea or point that we discussed in our friends relationship, or otherwise, she didn’t adamantly reject anything either, and really participated in the discussion.

Now… SlaveGrl4Master… my friend… this is where I owe you a beer….

I mentioned to her, just to broach the subject as she was being so open minded, that a slave/master relationship was something I would be open to trying down the road, with her. And I explained how people hear the words, and freak out, without understanding the lifestyle.

I told her, in broad strokes, your story, and the light-bulb “It is all about love” epiphany your partner had.

She had some questions, and has some reservations, but again… did not say no.

In the last few days we have had some excellent sex, and she gave me another amazing bj on another occasion.

Now, as I have been mentioning, she just left for her mini-vacation to see family. Before she left, I had one more candid talk with her….

I left her with two projects…

1. While gone, I want her to really think on, and explore her own fantasies. I want her to be able to come home, and without adhering to what she thinks she SHOULD want, or what society wants, I want her to come home and tell me several kinkier things she could conceive of trying.

2. While gone, I want her to think about the progress we have had this month, as per our discussion, and think about specific ways we will continue this trajectory in the next month. I want her, to tell me… how she will continue to become closer to the things I have asked for, and how we can proceed.

She was absolutely willing to do both… and in a way, #2 struck me as a profound act of submission, and maybe more of a culmination of submissive-thoughts-wife, and LHO Husband, than even the bjs, or anything else. In essence, she owned the fact that she is changing things because I need to be happier. She took responsibility, without saying it in words, and said she will continue making changes to advance my happiness.

To me… this felt like a poignant and wonderful end to our first chapter in this whole subliminal saga…

Make no mistake… the hypnosis file has been an absolute joke, and I feel badly for anyone who spent money expressly toward that end…. HOWEVER, this cynic sits at the end of month #1, already feeling profound changes in my wife and life.

How much of that was subliminals, versus increased open-ness, and a firm-ness and conviction in how I carried myself and spoke with her…. who knows. Honestly, I don’t really care. :p However I have arrived here, I have felt my $106 well-spent.

Tuesday she returns to a new playlist, and what I have framed for her as the next chapter in our lives as a healthy, happy, sexual, couple. I really look forward to hearing her answers to her homework, and am eager to continue toward our ultimate end.

I need you guys though, and hope you will continue to support me, read and respond to these entries, etc… For the moment, I need help with two very specific things….

1. Once again, do you think it is time for that new playlist? LHO Husband, STW, and Wife CS have served me, mostly well. Am I “done” with them? Who knows… maybe i’ll return to them periodically. For now, as I have said, I think her second month list will be LHO Husband (for continuity), My Husband is My Master, and Accepting Slavery. Does this sound “consistent” with our first play-list, and yet advance things by a fair amount? The next HUGE landmark, I hope to aim towards in the months ahead, isn’t skipping straight to a master/slave relationship, so much as having my wife be absolutely constantly willing to have sex, sexually please me, and let me steer the ship.

2. @Master specifically! Can you PLEASE have your girlfriend name some Master/Slave fiction/novels for me that she really does like? My wife is a huge reader, and literature could absolutely be a healthy, effective way for her to first encounter many of the ideas of this kind of relationship. If you can find me some that your girl likes, it would be something for me to seek out.

[trainer81]

04/27/2013 at 7:33 am

I’ll do you one better bro. I’ll ask her to bring the matter to her site of subs who are well versed in such things. Today actually during lunch she read me the ending of 50 shades of grey and highlighted facts about it that she knew I wouldn’t like. I have to say, from the little I read (the ending) and everything else she told me, I can’t recommend 50 shades of grey as a good representation of the lifestyle. Princess will probably expand on that in her post here on Sunday, where hopefully she’ll get you a list (we should be able to get it to you eventually, idk how soon though but I’ll make it a project for her. I actually told her about you guys [also in broad strokes] and she finds you guys cute I think and would be delighted to help. Idk how to put it but after briefly mentioning the story of my Dom friend she seemed really eager, or invested in a happy adjustment into the lifestyle for you.)

For my part, I’m delighted too. Congratulations! That was a really hard step but the journeys just beginning. If you guys really go down that road it’s going to be really tough, especially at first. You’re both learning rolls that require confidence, and that can be awkward. The beginning is also a very hard time for the Dom because your drawing boundaries, learning when to push and when to back off, what to say, what works and what doesn’t. Being a Dom is a position that needs a lot of confidence, and if it’s your first time confidence is something you have less of until you find your groove. Princess just walked in. I’m going to have her do her posting now.

Ending, common experience she may not move as fast as you want right now, may not do her hw well. You have to balance being firm with understanding what an adjustment this is for her. (edit:I’d really like to emphasize how big a transition this is for the sub, it is a HUGE and very counter intuitive revelation, and the beginning can be a very frighting time for a sub approaching these concepts for the first time. I mean, this is a HUGE step for them and Doms need to realize just how hard it can be for them to even acknowledge these desires. Doms and subs have equally hard jobs imo, they are just hard in different ways and require different things.) These really are your first steps in this world and sometimes you will fall down. All natural. Just love and trust and you’ll make it

[trainer81]

04/27/2013 at 8:11 am

Hello. This is Princess. Congratulations on the steps you’ve taken, it seems like a great way to start. I’m sorry but I don’t have something to recommend yet. What books and erotica I have read are not very good and don’t portray this lifestyle in the correct light. I will take the question to the group of subs I chat with and report to you.

I think the most important thing is to make sure your wife knows that your love for her will not diminish through this process and that this experience will bring you closer together. Don’t stop having open conversations about what’s going on and how you are both feeling about the process. Also, I think one of the best things my master did for me in the beginning was acknowledge when he made a mistake and took me further than I was ready to go. It’s a good way to show the sub that she can trust and will be taken care of.

It can be really hard for a new sub to get into this lifestyle. Girls are given so many conflicting messages by society that we often lose our own sexuality in the process. We are told not to be “slutty” and that any form of submission to a man is wrong and betraying our gender somehow. For me, this made me feel dirty for having the thoughts and fantasies of wanting to submit and I know it took a while for master to pull me out of my shell. But he was very patient and careful with me and now I couldn’t be happier. It’s important for sub women to know that submitting does not make you less of a woman, it makes you more of the woman that deep down we want to be and gives us freedom from our own thoughts and insecurities.

It’s a continual learning experience and will take a while but it sounds like you’re heading in the right direction. Good luck

[FaustsBoon]

04/27/2013 at 1:50 pm

Hey there!

To the both of you, my great thanks. I will be first to say that meeting you two has been a pleasure, and has just been really eye-opening. I don’t know if our ultimate lifestyle will mirror your own, but I do know that it feels great to feel so supported and accepted for being precisely who I am. I have to say, being more open, owning my kinks, even verbally, etc… has also done wonders for me, and is a big part of having an easier confidence each day. I’m becoming more content with myself every day, which in turn makes this whole process easier.

Thanks!

You know… one day, I hope my wife will be in a place where she’ll want to meet you guys as well.

@Princess, I appreciate your suggestions, and feel good about the fact that that is very much the place we’re starting from. During our drive-home conversation I REALLY drove (pardon the pun) the point home that I would like to make changes, and want that for my long-term happiness, however if nothing were to ever change, she would still forever be my love, my partner, and my friend. I really do love her with all of my heart, and that will never change.

@Master (man… I really need to call you something else, bro), thank you for giving voice to something I am feeling, for sure. I do want to be strong, dominant, forceful (when it is appropriate), etc… but am really concerned with never wanting to hurt anyone. I definitely have too much love for my wife, and likewise feel there is plenty of hurt in the world to go around. If I can avoid it, I always will. That said, it does make it tricky to know when pushing is fun and when it will be too much.

Also, thanks for the upcoming assistance on the fiction-side. I know making a thoughtful choice will go a long way to being a healthy first encounter with the lifestyle. I wish we all had known each-other longer, as better still would just be letting Princess and my wife speak… but maybe that’ll someday be an option.

[trainer81]

04/27/2013 at 6:47 pm

I think talking to another sub is still a while down the road, you have to begin by being comfortable in this area with each other before you can be comfortable in this area with the outside world. I think what I’ll do is have princess somehow deliver her community url to you, and if you want we can arrange a meeting there. I wouldn’t post this url on this site, as I really respect the idea of keeping it a Dom free site, and princess says they have enough problems with being harassed. So some disclosed method of communication would be preferred to the delivery of the url. It really helped princess feel less alone and less “dirty” about her desires.

That said, I do think she’s a while away from going to a community. But it is an eventual step on the ladder.

[FaustsBoon]

04/27/2013 at 7:28 pm

That absolutely makes sense. We’ll figure it our as it becomes pertinent, but for now, those novel/fiction suggestions definitely seem helpful at this stage.

[Fizbin]

04/28/2013 at 12:00 pm

This would be one of those times where it would be great if Trainer enabled PMs on this site…

[FaustsBoon]

04/28/2013 at 1:16 pm

Indeed… though if he is using his time, instead, to create new content for us, or revise the less…. um… successful content (*glares at sleepy hypnosis of failboat +1*), then that is ok too. :p

So… i’ve got another couple days yet to sort out the new playlist. I’m hoping I have made good choices, and picked effective files. Keeping LHO Husband feels like a good enough safety-net that i’m not worried about losing ground/progress, but it feels weird giving up STW which has my favorite script.

[FaustsBoon]

04/30/2013 at 11:59 am

Update Day 34:

Not so much an update as me wanting to say I am feeling positive, and am looking forward to this next round of the program. My wife is on her way home now, and should be here in a few hours. As discussed, the following playlist is waiting for her.

– LHO Husband
– My Husband is My Master
– Accepting Slavery

I’m not 100% sure I picked the perfect list, as I felt the first playlist much more hit my initial goals on the nose. As i’ve said before, at least as a script, I still think Submissive Thoughts Wife, perfectly, broadly captures exactly what this whole system is about. I’d love a Sledgehammer of that one to periodically rotate back into my month-long plans.

I’ll likely post tomorrow, for good or ill, regarding things the wife and I discuss. We’re both feeling optimistic, and are both, at least somewhat are consciously thinking about ways in which we want to grow and change to become happier going forward.

Today will be a real test… If she comes home, genuinely wanting to be open, and change things in our relationship, specifically love-life, and if she wants to do things for my improved happiness, I will really have to attribute it to the subliminals, at least in part. We’ve gotten to impasses before, gotten yay close, and she has never taken steps to make lasting changes. Lets see what happens.

[FaustsBoon]

05/01/2013 at 12:50 pm

Update Day 35:

Well, something is really working. :p The wife came home yesterday, and we took advantage of the beautiful day to go sit outside and talk. We had another of our new, but wonderfully candid conversations, and I cannot help to feel this is a different woman than the one I loved prior to finding Dream Girls. Ok… rather than different, i’ll just say she is the best version of my wife that i’ve yet known. Anyway…

She told me that she’d given serious time to thinking about the things I asked her to think about. As I expected, fantasizing is difficult for her. She has so long defined her sexuality either by the people she was in a relationship (or abusers), or has acted in a way to push back against those things in an effort to find her own strength (essentially making herself less sexual a being, on purpose).

She said many of the things we discussed, recently, or in years passed, are erotic to her, and do turn her on… its just that she can’t help over-thinking, and getting tied up in logistics, worries, etc… I told her she was over-thinking as she knows it is something she does, and that all I wanted was to give her a chance to explore, in the safe confines of her imagination, what excites her.

From there she basically said, she cannot comfortably conceive of wishing for, or doing anything sexual that involves outside parties… which I of course understand, and was ok with. She treats the sanctity of our monogamy version potently, and it means so much to her. I respect that and know she came to that from a place of total love.

She did, however, say that everything involving just the two of us, is something she can imagine growing into, or already being fine with. She got a bit emotional, but we had a wonderful talk about submission, about trust, etc… She was scared, only because she is so soooooo used to being in control, as it is her defense mechanism. But she also said she knows she trusts me, and that we can and will keep taking further baby steps toward that end.

I again told her how happy the last month has made me, and that I looked forward to making more strides in terms of our sex-life, our health/exercise ambitions, etc… and we really positively launched into the next phase of our life. She also promised me…

1. She will continue giving me sex even more often than the previous month.

2. She will initiate more, and not just wait to be asked.

3. She will make an effort to read more erotica in private so that she can safely, tentatively explore some of the sexual themes discussed… AND that she will use that to help her learn her comfort zones, off-limits ideas, etc…

Basically, it went PERFECTLY as i’d hoped.

Last night she came to bed nude… playfully groped me while we watched TV… and with no resistance, gave me an amazing, and very submissive, bit of oral sex, when I asked.

All in all… as a man of my word… I have to attribute some of this to Dream Girls Subliminals. Every day we seem to be heading toward my DREAM ideal of a marriage, and between the help from subliminals and improved communication… it seems we are in a better place then we have ever been.

[trainer81]

05/01/2013 at 4:44 pm

Hey hey! Aaaamazing dude! I’m so happy for you!

Let me get out of the way what I’ve wanted to post here for a bit just haven’t found a good opportunity. I want to give you the regular cautionary tale I like to communicate to all new Doms. If there is one common recurring mistake I see Doms new and old make all the time, it’s pushing too hard and wanting too much, especially at the beginning. Let me explain. Idk how others are about their sexuality, but for me domination has a lot to do with destruction and rebirth. Tearing down one behavior or personality and replacing it with another. Turning innocence into corruption, etc. I think all Doms have an underlying “hunger” that drives them, however, if you get caught up in thoughts like “Oh yeah, she’s going to be my slave and then I’m going to fuck her this way, and get her into anal and hook up with her friend etc.” you’ll get swept away in the current and move to fast for your sub, by which point they will probably break down. Biggest challenge of a Dom is to slow down his own mind, and go to the level of comfort his sub is at, push the boundaries ever so slowly from there, like kneading dough so it doesn’t tear. Push to hard, too fast, the dough will break and you’ll have to reroll it into a ball and start again. #1 common mistake I’ve seen from Doms (myself included), so I wanted to get this little bit of advice out of the way before you guys move any further. Out of the way? Awesome.

Ok, so I have some bad news, princess is no longer going to her sub site as in the past 6 months or so it’s devolved into not a nice place to be and is actually causing problems for her. So sadly she’s currently looking for a new community. I’ll post more details in the training log later. This puts a delay on our project. I’ll be stopping by a sex shop later today and tomorrow and will ask the nice women there for recommendations. Sorry about that set back. :/

Don’t worry about the swinging thing. I’m not sure, but I get a vibe from your responses that you do want to try it. Keep in mind princess and I are only getting there after 7 years, and we’re still feeling our way around that area. It’s something you do only when you’re really advanced and ready for it as it can be trail by fire for many relationships. In one of our failed attempts it actually proved destructive for our sex life. It comes with a huge bag of issues you aren’t ready to tackle until your BDSM life is really set. Basically, yeah, focus on your relationship with just her, and maybe someday it will happen but this is seriously years and years down the road. Just know that it isn’t impossible as there was a time princess could never see herself outside a monogamous relationship, but it isn’t where you should be aiming right now or for a long time or possibly forever, depending on your relationship years and years from now.

I am very happy this lifestyle is bringing another couple closer, I’ll show princess this post as I know she’ll be ecstatic about it.

About your role as a Dom, she’s acting more submissive in the bedroom, that’s great! It means you can come out of your shell and be more assertive. Go slow when testing these waters but I suggest introducing her to two new elements 1) Sex Sessions 2) Toys. For Sex Sessions you can’t plan them out yet like I do, but during sex something you should do is see if you can make it so that she needs your permission to cum. To introduce this element, start every session with a lot of foreplay (Just because we’re Doms, doesn’t mean we have to be lazy ) She may not like oral, but every woman I’ve ever met likes to have their body touched and caressed. When she’s lying next to you, gently stroke her body, touch as many areas as possible as the more stimulation in more areas seems to be the best way to do it. Be gentle for the most part but when she’s really turned on, be rough for a max of maybe 10 seconds, then go back to gentle (until you know what her roughness level is, some girls like it rougher then others but this is a really good way to start) alternate. Really use this opportunity to explore her body. If she’s not comfortable with oral, it’s ok to tease her legs with your fingers and tongue but shy away from oral so she begins to want it. You want to be constantly switching up what parts of her body are being caressed and played with. Finger her for a while, suck on her nipple, nip at her neck, lick from her stomach to her breasts and circle around them with your tongue, lick her ear and trace it with your finger, play with her clit, grope her ass, rub your dick against her and lightly touch her asshole. Vary it up as much as you can and the areas she’s comfortable with. Don’t just focus on key areas, a woman likes to be touched everywhere. Example? One of princesses most sensitive areas is her back. Get her really wet. Next, see if when she’s blinded by lust you can get her to beg to have your cock in her. If she really wants it and is comfortable with her submission, she will do this. This sets a pattern in the bed, the idea that your permission is required. Even if you think that’s going to not work I recommend you skip it and have her beg to climax. I have a problem where I can’t cum for a long time, so this is one of my favorite things to do when princess literally can’t take anymore. I actually have her trained to cum (or change personalities depending on context) when I snap my fingers, even without stimulation. That took a lot of work, but you start with the Pavlov conditioning of saying “cum!” while she’s begging and snapping your fingers at the same time. So in summation, introduce the concept of your permission in bed, and play with her body, really start engaging in foreplay and doing simple things like petting her.

2) Toys may be uncomfortable for her at first, but I find them great methods of foreplay and a good expression of the lifestyle. Dildos, vibrators, ropes and restraints. All of these things are great ways to reinforce your control over her. Bondage for example is something I think you can talk her into (if she’s afraid of it) by talking about the challenges you face with your own body, and how being able to temporarily restrict her in the same ways would do wonders for you. Maybe wait a while, lets say a month to be safe, to introduce this idea with her. Like all things you must take this slow. But I recommend you start your research now. You might want to start looking at two knotty boys so you know what you’re doing when you get there. http://www.knottyboys.com/

You’re going to naturally discover limits for both of you by running into walls. Somethings she might try, not like, and you just have to talk it out with her, learn from it and make sure she does too, and support her. If you do this correctly, even for all the scrapped knees and pains you get from the lifestyle, it will be ultimately very fulfilling.

Also what was she into, if you know it will help Myself, princess, and others in suggestions of where to take her training. Not all slaves are the same. For example, princess is primarily whats called a “daddies girl slave” though we call this “little girl slave” as the word daddy reminds her too much of her father which she finds that disturbing. I’ve met women who identify more as animals, or dolls etc, and these classifications do matter imo when your figuring out how to raise them. For example, since princess is a little girl slave, we spend a lot of our time being playful and playing stupid little games even when not in a sexual mood. But it does connect.

So basically, if your comfortable saying here, what are her fetishes? What are your own?

[FaustsBoon]

05/01/2013 at 8:06 pm

Well, i’m not sure what her “kinks” are… if only because she is so tentative about exploring it. I do know she once implied that before meeting me, gangbangs excited her as a concept, but I think she won’t even consider it now as she feels it would hurt me, or somehow hurt our bond.

Is it, and other partners something I would want to pursue? Sure… however i’m in no rush, and as such want our immediate personal actions to really become perfect first.

I’ll write more on this topic soon, though, and hopefully that’ll help you in turn give me your thoughts.

Short answers though… I really do like orgasm control and such, and in the past, during more dom moments (as I have said, we HAVE had weird, mutually comfortable encounters over the years where we fell right into dom/sub roles and I would tease her, deny her orgasms for extended periods, etc… Those we VERY intense, and satisfying encounters, and maybe reminding her of those, in light of her new openness would yield some fond remembering.

On the second point. We do own some random toys. At my request she has periodically used some in the past, but VERY infrequently.

[trainer81]

05/01/2013 at 8:33 pm

If that’s the cause I wouldn’t push toys yet. I’d get comfortable in this dynamic and when you think the level your on is completely secure and complete I’d broach the subject of bondage. Let her take her time in talking to you about her fetishes, as she may not really know because she’s never thought about it from this stand-point. She’ll figure it out as it goes along.

[FaustsBoon]

05/02/2013 at 12:38 pm

Update Day 36:

Not a lot to report, but what I can report is overwhelmingly positive. First day back at work, back to her exercise regime’ etc, saw my wife come home incredibly tired. That said, she still made sure to take care of some stuff around the house, which was nice to see, as she would normally let most of that stuff slide.

In bed I asked if she wanted to make love, and she said she was too tired, and would want to tomorrow. She, at that point was already half-asleep, with her head on my shoulder, as we watched TV.

For… curiosity sake, and just to see what her half-asleep mind was inclined to do, I asked her, nicely but not sheepishly, to put her hand in my pants and leave it there wrapped around me. She did, without a single complaint. Before we went to bed, I told her I knew she was tired, but that i’d very much like a handjob before we went to sleep proper. Again, without any hesitation, she did so.

It was terrible mind you. :p I mean, she was legitimately half-asleep…. but I wasn’t expecting awe and wonder, so much as taking a gentle opportunity to test submission.

Needless to say, I am impressed. I feel like there has been a bit of a snowballing, where progress felt slow at times early on, whereas results seem much more pronounced as of late. Obviously the communication changes have been a huge component, but either way, i’m incredibly impressed.

At this point, i’m opting to tap the breaks. I would’ve hoped to be here at the END of another month, etc… on the program. As such I am opting to do nothing else but encourage and reinforce this, for the next 28 days.

[limited1]

05/02/2013 at 7:29 pm

Great to hear of your success and how things are improving as each week goes by!

[FaustsBoon]

05/03/2013 at 12:18 pm

Update Day 37:

Very little to report, but i’ll post this for consistency-sake. My wife was again pretty exhausted last night, but still cooked dinner, was mild-mannered, and was less cranky than I might expect. Previously, she, when tired, might get snippy, or be more inclined to talk-back, and I haven’t seen that in a while now.

We didn’t even approach anything sexual, as she was clearly tired, and I had no desire to push, just for pushing sake.

A pleasant evening to be sure.

[trainer81]

05/03/2013 at 4:56 pm

Good call bud. In the begining they may promise more then they can deliver, and if you try to hold them to it you will freak them out. You want to avoid associating sex with burden or labor.

[Tap]

05/04/2013 at 12:21 am

Faustsboon, what’s your playlist right now? Do you play your mp3s mostly when you sleep or at other times also.

[FaustsBoon]

05/06/2013 at 1:11 pm

The current playlist is…

LHO Husband
Accepting Slavery
My Husband is My Master

This is after a full month of…

Submissive Thoughts Wife
LHO Husband
Wife CS

We play the rain files all night long, and during the day we will either randomly use the files one time through, or I will use the silent versions of the same files if we’re doing something and want to be able to pay attention.

I will say, the month did a fair bit to improve her general submission, but even after only about a week, the second playlist seems to be really having some effect on her thinking.

Even in just candid, casual, conversations about kinks and fantasies, I notice that she already has some wildly new opinions. A week ago she was far more reserved and had far more concerns about even thinking about fantasies, whereas yesterday during a chat, she implied that, if we both felt right about it, even ideas like gangbangs aren’t flat out off the table.

I’m not saying i’d act on any of these ideas, but her openness to so much more sexually has really exploded in the last week alone.

[FaustsBoon]

05/07/2013 at 1:52 pm

Update Day 40:

So while the last few days have been excellent, there was a minor set-back of sorts. We have been very sexual the last four days or so, and have been really candid talking about fantasies, where we could hypothetically end up, etc…

It was, honestly, a little to much, too soon. While my wife was absolutely an equal part of these conversations, etc… we hit a hitch last night where she was grumpy (not angry mind you, she seems to never get angry at me anymore, period), and was saying we were spending too much time thinking about far-far off stuff, where our intention was to take baby-steps to improve the right now.

She was, of course, absolutely right. I agreed, we’ve reset a little, and everyone is fine and again in a good place.

More exciting though, is that we absolutely didn’t LOSE any progress. My wife is more willing, generally, and certainly more submissive in life, and now more-so in the bedroom. I even believe she is starting to like that side of her in the bedroom as she is getting more comfortable in the role, and in trying things.

Its almost, for instance, like the month of Wife CS had a delayed reaction. It seemed to have a small, but pronounced effect during the month of use, but be it a delayed response, or something in the current play-lists, my wife will now, without prompting, make efforts to deep-throat, etc… Last night, upon request, she also began talking dirty, and asking for me to finish on her face, etc… A LOT of things were happening that I just feel like she previously wouldn’t have be inclined to do at all.

Beyond the sexual, she seems more relaxed in general and we’ve both been very happy, aside from life simply being life, and thus more challenging on some days than others. She has also warmed to the word “submissive”, not half-mumbling it but saying it as something she’s consciously working to do more of.

[trainer81]

05/07/2013 at 6:14 pm

You’re mission of having her fantasize about the future was successful so i’d back off for now, and start working on the bedroom and focusing solely on her development, the baby steps you’re going to take, and the direction you’re going to go in. This is the same reason I only did 3some visualization training once since Jenna became a possibility. Now that it’s successfully accomplished it’s goal I have to move on and see what happens. If I got too caught up in what I wanted I’d cause a set back and probably reawaken her jealousy.

Start setting little goals in the bedroom and tentatively try to reach them. As I said before, orgasim control is a great way to finally introduce her to the concept of calling you Master (if you get them on the brink, they’ll do almost anything to cum). You’re job is now to see what part of the lifestyle excites her, and what causes her to recoil. From this you’ll start making a blue print for her. See what steps you can take and what works and what doesn’t. Maybe you can start having her preform for you before foreplay and sex (This is 1) following your orders and 2) makes her feel sexy and gets her in touch with her submissive side, if they are into this and it’s not a problem area of course). Light spanking? Before going for bondage try handcuffs, see what sex with handcuffs are like and if she gets into it (note about handcuffs: there are a lot of bad ones out there that will hurt her wrists :/ theres expensive magnetic lock ones we have, theres some good ones [heard good things from some girls about the cheaper fuzzy lined version, haven’t tried] and a lot of the leather ones fall apart. Happy Hunting.)

[FaustsBoon]

05/07/2013 at 6:34 pm

Well, I know my own self well enough to know that some of those elements just aren’t for me. I, personally don’t care for bondage, and know my wife has mini panic attacks even watching porn involving it. As neither of us particularly care, its just an element i’ll skip.

That said, your point absolutely stands, and your advice is appreciated. Right now, for where I am at, even I need to remember to happily tap on the breaks. If nothing were to change right now, except for there being more, and more consistency to her behaving this way, etc… then i’ll already be content and call all of this a rousing success.

Our of curiosity though… what are some other ways one might get a submissive to demonstrate said submission? Beyond what you’ve mentioned, what else might make good, early steps?

I will admit, for my own personal kinks, an extreme end-goal of this, if its possible and if we ever got there, would to have her submissive on command, knowing I could call her at work and tell her to go masturbate for me in the bathroom, or in her car…. Maybe get her to be daring in public. For me, it really is about my words being enough to get her to submit to anything.

That said, that is the purely sexual wishes I might have for our future. In general, i’m already terribly pleased with the submission i’m seeing, and the improved peace and happiness of our household.

[trainer81]

05/07/2013 at 6:56 pm

Quote from FaustsBoon on May 7, 2013, 18:34
Our of curiosity though… what are some other ways one might get a submissive to demonstrate said submission? Beyond what you’ve mentioned, what else might make good, early steps?

I will admit, for my own personal kinks, an extreme end-goal of this, if its possible and if we ever got there, would to have her submissive on command, knowing I could call her at work and tell her to go masturbate for me in the bathroom, or in her car…. Maybe get her to be daring in public. For me, it really is about my words being enough to get her to submit to anything.

Oh I’d tell you if I weren’t so busy (Promised myself I wouldn’t write anything but sometimes I feel compelled cause I want things to work out for you guys) and I know if I get started on that topic I couldn’t make it short. In a few weeks I’ll do a detailed post on this. In short though, the main thing is to get her to surrender control little by little, all the kinky stuff like bondage etc, is just an extension of that.

Also, you guys don’t like bondage, that is cool. That is exactly what I’m talking about, observe where she does like to submit and where she doesn’t. If she likes something, inch more and more to it. If not, it’s not a good introduction point and may not even be long run compatible. Try to see if you can construct a psychological profile about her in the bedroom as it’s pretty much a road map of what to do. Sorry I can’t go into more detail. Good luck.

[Fizbin]

05/08/2013 at 12:09 am

I think I’ve brought this up before, but one area you could look at is “appearance” control – what she wears, how she does hair and makeup, what she shaves, etc… This is fairly low risk, but easy to validate. She probably already wants to look good for you, just let her know what that means.

[FaustsBoon]

05/08/2013 at 3:09 pm

Update Day 41:

Its funny, but the better things tend to be, the worse set-backs appeal. Yesterday, my tired wife oddly resembled her old self. I felt some of that selfishness, I saw her absolutely unwilling to listen to any request. Despite doting on her, and trying to really emotionally connect and give her a beautiful evening, she would have nothing of my advances. This morning, the same. I told her I was disappointed, but understand she is tired, so that I could remain composed, but also let her know in a gentle way that this wasn’t the behavior I would prefer.

What is funny is that two days of it, feels like a monumental setback (which it really isn’t) because of how much better over-all, life has been. That said, it isn’t fun, nor easy to be reminded of less wonderful times.

I certainly will think about Feminine Dress Code, etc… though i’m reticent about changing plans too often. I feel commited to the current list for say, 30-days, but don’t know if it was quite perfect. I definitely think more cementing of “submission” is called for before notions like “My husband is my master”. Who knows?

Further, I cannot restate often enough how disappointed I am in upgrading to Gold. I feel like there is zero community there, essentially no support, and most pronounced, the Relaxation Hypno is a joke. No revisions have been made, nor comments on its usage. I have tried it two more times, totalling about seven attempts, all of which simply resulted in a bored/napping, wife. :-p

All that said…

Because I feel my current playlist is ambitious to a fault, even with only three tracks, I might shelve it, and switch to something more modest.

Keeping in mind that I would prefer to keep it to three tracks total, the four i’m currently entertaining are….

LHO Husband
I Am Submissive (Wife) Sledgehammer
Submissive Thoughts Wife
Feminine Dress Code

with runners up being, Decision Maker-Husband Sledgehammer, and His Happiness Sledgehammer.

Any thoughts on this six or so, and any possible good synergies, etc? My most immediate goal is to advance toward fullest submission… a consistent scenario in which I ask for something, and can hope/expect it to happen.

[FaustsBoon]

05/08/2013 at 5:26 pm

Just as a minor continuation to the thought above… I don’t expect complete and utter submission over-night. I am happy with the progress made in the first 30+ days. I also think I may have be too ambitious in my second play-list, and thus want to get thoughts on a more moderate list. I feel like my first go around with Submissive Thoughts Wife, etc… was useful and am sorely tempted to return to it, and files like it.

That all said, it is entirely possible that my current play-list is fine, and random stress has just coincidentally led to a series of off days for my wife. Again, I can’t really be certain.

[Tap]

05/08/2013 at 10:46 pm

I’ve researched a lot on subliminals, and through that, I’ve learned scripts that are in the present are the best. LHO is all in the future tense using the word “will.” Now, I know that many people have had success with this file, but it’s possible it could have been due to other subliminals in play. The basic premise is hearing “I will love,” with the subconscious not having the analytical view of the conscious side, will understand that as something that is going to happen in the future, but at this point in the present is unattainable. Therefore, your wife could possibly see that as I will love sometime in the future, but not at the present, defeating the purpose.

His Happiness is mostly in the present tense, and for me has been effective in helping her be happy keeping me happy. I would say though, I love the I am submissive sledgehammer. It’s simple yet straightforward all in the present tense. Simply repeating I am submissive gets the point across straight to the subconscious, without getting into complicated sentences which might be too difficult for the subconscious to grasp. I also feel the sledgehammers are more effective than the standard subliminals because of the multiple voices vs one. This brings into the idea of the social aspect and peer pressure enforcing the ideas as true.

I had some hiccups since I started a month ago, but since I’ve been playing the I am submissive sledgehammer about a week ago, I really feel she hasn’t tried to challenge or argue with me as much. I’ve been playing it a lot though.

One thing I will say is that in my opinion, it’s possible to be influenced yourself by the subliminals. If you hear I am submissive a lot, eventually you will have these ideas in your head. I personally listen to my own subliminals for confidence and leadership. For me, they have been really effective. I try not to listen to the wife’s subliminals as much as possible.

[FaustsBoon]

05/08/2013 at 11:43 pm

Well, supposedly, knowing they’re there, essentially defeats them. I remind myself, occasionally, that the rain files are not for me, and as such, feel like i’m disarming them, in a way.

Fiz? You there man? Any thoughts on my program dilemma? Any favorites from amongst those mentioned, or thoughts on a good combo of them?

[Tap]

05/09/2013 at 12:05 am

Well, I’m not sure about that. People listen to subliminals for all kinds of reasons. I, for example, listen to a leadership one. I know it’s there, but it still has affected my thoughts and therefore my actions. I have never thought of myself as much of a leader, but now I do. I also act in a leading way more not just with my wife, but at work. It’s changed my thinking. But it’s not like I walk around thinking, yes I’m a leader. I don’t talk to myself in my head with the script statements of the leader mp3. I just noticed I give orders more and act like a leader. It feels like it’s just innate in me. I suspect this is how our wives react to the subliminals. They just start acting more submissive and nicer because they feel it’s innate.

A statement like “I am a submissive wife” probably won’t affect you because you know you’re not a wife. However, a statement like “I am submissive” could affect you because a man or woman can be submissive. If you hear this over and over in your subconcious, it’s a thought that you might act on without even knowing it. Currently, my wife sleeps in a different room with my child. It’s a temporary situation, but it allows me to play it for her without me being exposed to it.

Once she comes back to my room, I might wear earplugs or something so I don’t get affected.

[Fizbin]

05/09/2013 at 1:17 am

I’m here.

First thoughts are hmmm… Is it about 3-4 weeks since the last big sexual resistance setback? Yep. I’d guess you’re running into the old monthly cycle issue on that one. Just be patient and understanding, and don’t push too hard for a few days.

On the playlist, I’m all for Submissive thoughts Wife and Dress code, and maybe just sticking with that for a while to see what happens.

[FaustsBoon]

05/09/2013 at 2:40 pm

Well Tap, as per the title of this journal, you can probably imagine my thoughts. Placebo effect is what I would imagine, in the case of subliminals and an effect that you’re looking for, as you set out to do it yourself. Just my thought though.

Fiz… Sounds good man. You know how much I like demonstratable outcomes, so Dress-Code it is. I’ve even laid some ground work to that effect by mentioning, casually, something to the effect of how good she looks in certain outfits, and with certain… elements… shaven. Lets see what happens.

So, by your liking, I Am Submissive, or Submissive Thoughts Wife, considering my wife has already had 30 days of the later.

[FaustsBoon]

05/09/2013 at 10:39 pm

@Fiz. Out of curiosity, what is your personal “instruction manual” for Feminine Dress-Code? I’m deciding how to implement and reinforce it. The later is obviously easy, but at the onset… would you, for instance, include the subliminal in a playlist for a while, and THEN broach the topic of how you’d like her dressed? Do you think it might be a subliminal which she herself might find herself raising the topic of?

Just curious, as I know it is one you’ve endorsed from time-to-time.

[Fizbin]

05/09/2013 at 10:46 pm

I’ve only just introduced that one. And, as I said, my current play-time is restricted to when I’m home on weekends, so she hasn’t had enough real exposure for effect yet. My plan is to just let it play for a while at first without making any actual demands. I’ve already started complimenting her on things that I like, and she knows things I have suggested before. After she gets a bit more exposure, I’ll start making actual suggestions again if she doesn’t automatically start shifting in my favored direction.

[FaustsBoon]

05/09/2013 at 11:00 pm

Hey Fiz, while you’re on, and I might catch you…. What do you think of “Lose Weight Now!” which seems a close relative to Feminine Dress Code. Any experience, or thoughts?

[FaustsBoon]

05/09/2013 at 11:11 pm

Also (don’t mind me… i’m making up the play-list now)…. I am really torn between “I Am Submissive (Wife)” and “Submissive Thoughts Wife”.

– The first, is a sledgehammer (pro), but has really oddly phrased scripting with a ton of time spent on “submission is my gift” and weird circular logic that seems… weird (con).

– The second, which i’ve liked in the past, is not a sledgehammer (con), and has a few odd negative statements (I am not independent) which i’ve heard are poor to use in subliminals (con), but CLEARLY, in my mind, has a superior script.

As it stands, as I really want to back peddle just a touch, and reinforce some good, basic submission, really deeply before moving forward, I think I am going with….

– His Happiness (Sledge) [A replacement for LHO Husband, but having a very similar spirit]
– Submissive Thoughts Wife
– Feminine Dress Code [Just for observable results, will likely be phased out within a month or so, even with modest if any results]

[Fizbin]

05/09/2013 at 11:59 pm

The new set sounds fine to me.

As far as lose weight, it isn’t as negative as some I’ve seen with that goal. Otherwise, I haven’t worked it, so I can’t comment from experience.

[FaustsBoon]

05/10/2013 at 12:08 am

Fingers crossed. I’m man enough to admit mistakes and mis-steps. While the last 10-days play-list hasn’t been bad, or ineffectual per-se, I do feel it is a bit much and would rather course-correct. From tonight i’ll start a fresh 30-day-timer.

[Tap]

05/10/2013 at 12:13 am

Quote from FaustsBoon on May 9, 2013, 14:40
Well Tap, as per the title of this journal, you can probably imagine my thoughts. Placebo effect is what I would imagine, in the case of subliminals and an effect that you’re looking for, as you set out to do it yourself. Just my thought though.

Faustsboon, it’s understandable to be cynical. In my opinion, it’s not a placebo effect and it has been backed by scientific research. This website, for instance, has a self help section for men with mp3s such as I am dominant and confident. Why would trainer put those for guys if they didn’t work? Of course, we know what the scripts say so does that mean they wouldn’t work?

Subliminals actually work more when the subject is motivated to do the change that the mp3 says. If the conscious mind is working together with the subconscious mind, then great changes will take place.

I know trainer has a good FAQ page about subliminals, but I’ve found the following to be helpful:

http://www.subliminalmp3s.com/frequently-asked-questions

[Tap]

05/10/2013 at 4:02 am

Quote from FaustsBoon on May 9, 2013, 23:11
Also (don’t mind me… i’m making up the play-list now)…. I am really torn between “I Am Submissive (Wife)” and “Submissive Thoughts Wife”.

– The first, is a sledgehammer (pro), but has really oddly phrased scripting with a ton of time spent on “submission is my gift” and weird circular logic that seems… weird (con).

– The second, which i’ve liked in the past, is not a sledgehammer (con), and has a few odd negative statements (I am not independent) which i’ve heard are poor to use in subliminals (con), but CLEARLY, in my mind, has a superior script.

I’ll put my 2 cents in because I too had trouble deciding between them. I agree that the submissive sledgehammer’s script is not as strong as the submissive thoughts wife. However, I do like the simple form of the sledgehammer repeating the I am submissive part. The subconscious is not complicated and something simple like that might produce the desired effect more easily.

However, I looked at the results. I first played HH and submissive thoughts in loop. While my wife was generally becoming more submissive, there were 2 instances which you can see in my journal where my wife rebelled or argued with me and it surprised me. It partly might have been because she was resistant to the mp3s. After the 2nd incident, I switched to the submissive sledgehammer instead of submissive thoughts wife to basically beat the idea in her head of her being submissive.

Since then, we haven’t argued and her submissiveness has grown. It seems like she’s taken to the submissive sledgehammer more than the submissive thoughts. I like to stick with what works so now I just use HH, submissive sledgehammer, and this cleaning mp3 from a different website at night. Then I use just the submissive sledgehammer only in loop in the evenings.

In the future, I might switch back to submissive thoughts wife, but not at this point.

[FaustsBoon]

05/10/2013 at 2:48 pm

You ask, “Why would Trainer put something up which didn’t work…?” I answer… to make money. :p He hasn’t exactly provided oodles of support, and stuff like the Relaxation Hypno is just flapping in the wind. You’ll forgive me if I don’t use him as a source of 100% correct information/product. I have no doubt his work with subliminals has been quite good, and I feel like my money has been well spent 99% of the time, but he is human, and he certainly does make mistakes, spin yarns, etc…

I REALLY appreciate your thoughts on those two files, thought respectfully I don’t want to slam home any point with aggression. I love my wife, and want to improve our marriage, not warp her. :p

My daily update will follow in about an hour… VERY amazing report to be filed.

[FaustsBoon]

05/10/2013 at 3:52 pm

Update Day 43:
So, further demonstrating that changes are taking hold, and that everything is working in the proper direction, even set-backs are becoming smaller, shorter, affairs, with less time wasted/lost.

The minor back-peddles of the last few days absolutely melted away all at once last night. I had told my wife we would be having a short conversation when she got home, and despite a particularly stressful day, and one that went over-long, she was attentive, curled up in my lap, and listened to me.

I told her, again how happy I have been, and how much I appreciate all her efforts and changes thus far. Opening anything with this reinforcement has shown my gratitude, and I feel its set a great tone for anything which follows.

I explained next that I have appreciated her supporting me in wanting to be more assertive, bold, confident, and dominant, and hand in hand with that comes the expectation that sometimes I will just say things and expect that they are done. (Mind you, I said all of this as lovingly as can be, but in a solid, strong voice).

I told her she would now be expected to dress more femininely when possible, would be coming to bed nude, would wear sexier undergarments normally, and despite knowing she tends to dislike it, told her I would like her to be clean-shaven, all about. I said this, not as a list, but went point by point and explained why I would like it, culminating in explaining how shaving her pubic hair, knowing she dislikes it, is an appreciated act of submission. Every time I see it, I will know she did that FOR me, for my happiness, and strictly because I requested it.

From there I again said how thankful I am for her supporting my desire to have a more submissive/dominant relationship within our marriage, again praised her effort, and reminded her that she is a grown woman and with free will will of course make final decisions, but that I will sometimes be firm, and going against what will make me happy means she consciously would be choosing to make me less ahppy, not more.

We kissed, and spoke a bit more, and she politely, and happily agreed to do what I said on all counts, and said she has enjoyed seeing me happier and more assertive. Upon request she then, despite being tired, gave me some amazing oral sex.

All in all, wonderful night, and success. Lots of positivity and reinforcement all around.

We also, ironically began night one of our new playlist: His Happiness, Submissive Thoughts Wife, and Dress Code, though general submission might’ve rendered that last one virtually unneeded. :-p

[limited1]

05/10/2013 at 5:52 pm

FaustsBoon-

Great to hear how well everything is going in your relationship. I look forward to reading your posts when I get a chance to get on this website (I travel a lot for work).

My progress has been slower, but reading your posts give me coinfidence that this is going to work in my situation.

I’ve always wondered how quickly some of these changes happen, and this will be a great indicator. I can’t wait to hear / read how quickly your wife starts to comply to your suggestions about dressing more feminine, wearing sexier undergarments, coming to bed nude, and shaving to your satisfaction.

Thanks again for your daily posting. I try to do the same, but my situation is sometimes difficult to guage progress due to what scipts I am using / my travel schedule.

[FaustsBoon]

05/10/2013 at 6:17 pm

Thanks for the kind words! I do the posting as close to daily as possible…

1. For myself, because I think it will make a great record…

but also…

2. For current and future posters. I’ll be blunt… There isn’t much support, advice, etc… provided here, and each of us are that support/help for everyone else. The “E-books” and the like are unedited messes, and really, if I wasn’t so happy with the over-all results, i’d be embarrassed for the production values of all of this. $109 or what-not is a fair bit of money to spend in this economy, and if I can spend a few minutes a day to chronicle something, that helps those who paid in, so be it.

I KNOW, that the point that isn’t driven home nearly often enough around here, or firmly enough, is that the transformation in the individual using these subliminals MUST be on par with the extent of changes you want to see in your partner. If I had spent this last month acting the way I did two months ago, the subliminals probably would have worked far, FAR, less, if at all.

As many journal entries mention… it took a whole new level of communication. Sometimes the wife and I had to have very candid conversations about tricky, taboo, or otherwise complex topics, that normally I would have avoided for fear of offending her, hurting feelings, etc… I had to confidently realize that I could respect her opinion, wishes, etc… while ALSO owning who I am, what I want, and the like. Accepting who I am, even when, or especially when I knew my choices differed was a big key to all of this.

Is it always natural? Oh God, no. I sometimes have to legitimately make the effort to say something in a more direct way, to make a choice quicker, etc… to maintain the spirit of authority, assertiveness, etc… Its taken conscious work on my part every day. On many days i’ve done a mediocre job of it, on more I think i’ve done well. The sum total, combined with the subliminals has been success by degrees.

One thing SlaveGrl4Master has conveyed well is this point. Even if you have no desire for any sort of master/slave lifestyle, etc… the strength still has to be behind your words/deeds. I have worked to be loving, supportive, etc… but likewise really channel strength into whatever it is I do.

My wife mentioning how much she has liked the more confident me, feels like every bit of rote advice you see online about attracting women, etc… and between my confidence, and submission subliminals, somewhere in the middle, my wife and I have met, and thus found progress.

We’re not done… and we’re far from the place I can imagine calling an “end”… but we’re in a different, and better place, and I love it.

[Tap]

05/10/2013 at 11:51 pm

I agree that there isn’t that much support. However, every other subliminal website out there doesn’t have a discussion forum like this. The fact that trainer has one, is good in itself. It was this forum that provided me the guidelines of which subliminals have success and how many to use at one time.

$109 was a small price to pay for changing my wife’s way of thinking to improve my marriage. This website is the only one of its kind that has such type of subliminal mp3s. You won’t find wife submissive and all the other mp3s out there on any other website. The reason is it’s not politically correct with the rise of feminism. In fact, just talking about a wife being submissive is frowned upon nowadays.

I tip my hat to trainer for the great work he has done. I’m sure he’s making a lot of money with this business. That usually does happen when you’re a unique pioneer in a certain business field.

[mastermandprincess]

05/11/2013 at 6:20 am

Hey bud, so the fact that princess left her sub site put a bit of a hindrance on the search for erotic literature. However, my sex shop is literally right across from my bank, so I stopped in and the very nice ladies there pointed out some good erotic literature. When I told her you had originally suggested 50 shades of grey she looked fearful and said “no no no no” so it looked like my initial reaction was correct, the worker is cool and we’ve talked a lot and I know she knows her stuff.

Problems? 1) I can’t read her hand writing so I’m waiting for princess to decode it XD 2) I think she misheard me and I and thought I said “female” domination, instead of “male” as one of the books on the list was Femdom.

HOWEVER, she invited me to call back at any time, so when my exams are over, I’ll be calling back for recommendations and getting a more legible, male dom oriented list. Keeping you posted.

[FaustsBoon]

05/11/2013 at 1:49 pm

Thanks MasterM… You know how much I appreciate it!

[FaustsBoon]

05/16/2013 at 4:12 pm

Update Day 49:

Ok, not so much an update, as checking in. The whole house passed around a really awful stomach bug, so everyone has been sick as a dog during random days. The wife has also been working extremely long, and crazy hours. As such, I couldn’t tell you if there has been any progress, and God knows no-one was interested in anything remotely sexy. :p

That all said, my wife has been coming to bed nude, which was something I asked for, so whether born from Feminine Dress Code, or the other submission files (since I did tell her i’d like her to do that from now on), I don’t know.

Likewise, she reminded me that she wore a dress on her last couple days off, as I asked, and reminded me that she hasn’t forgotten my other requests either.

[FaustsBoon]

05/20/2013 at 7:15 pm

Update Day 53:

So, I feel like the illness and majority of distractions are now behind us, and hopefully we can focus on our relationship and subliminals again. Lets see what happens. As I implied several days ago, some flu-like issues swept the family which threw the whole tone of our household off…. my wife’s work has been absolutely mad… and I, being a writer, found myself in one of those stretches where, having gone without work for an age, I suddenly have four concurrent projects at once.

Needless to say, sex hasn’t been a priority. We have only really had sex one in the last week and a half, but even I haven’t been particularly adamant about there being more, as I was pretty fried too. As such, its difficult to tell if there had been any back-sliding, or if it was just the weight of a LOT of distractions on both of us.

She hasn’t been pushy in the least, and has maintained most of her general submission. She comes to bed nude 95% of the time now, and has said she hasn’t forgotten my other request, but that time just hasn’t permitted… which is fairly true so I won’t deem it an excuse quite yet.

There was one interesting development… She has, fairly spontaneously, refocused on some of her health goals. She is much more inclined to work out, and has had new successes, losing 5lbs in about twelve days. I wonder if this is a random effect of Feminine Dress Code, and her wanting to look “sexy” as per its affirmations?

I was just thinking of cycling it out to focus on more submission stuff, but as it may just now be bearing fruit, I think I will let it play out. We have about fifteen days until the next consideration of playlist changes, so I will have this one run its full course.

[Fizbin]

05/20/2013 at 8:26 pm

Great update. I’m glad things have settled down a bit. I’d say definitely to stick to the plan.

[FaustsBoon]

05/20/2013 at 9:24 pm

Things have indeed settled down, and are for the best. I actually, since posting the update, had a good excuse pop up to mention to the wife that I attribute a lot of my successes recently to the empowerment i’ve done, sexually and otherwise. I thanked her for being my partner in the journey and for being so receptive to me being stronger, more confident, etc…

I told her, that as I expected, being more like my best self has really bled, from the bedroom, into the rest of my life, and emboldened me in other areas.

This, as I hoped, seems to align with files like “His Happiness” as she was super pleased to hear me speaking that way, and said of course we would not backslide, and that we would continue focusing on these sorts of things/attitudes at home.

This way, she feels great for being a great wife, being complimented for being a great partner, etc… and it gently puts us back on the rails for moving forward.

We’ll test my little plan out tonight, barring life antics.

[Qwerty]

05/20/2013 at 10:51 pm

Congrats on the success

[mastermandprincess]

05/21/2013 at 3:17 am

Alright man, I’m just about to sit down and call my favorite sex shop for help. Lets hope we get some good titles.

Cristine in tomorrow (leaving this for me, will edit out later)
11 am – 7:30 pm

1) Sleeping beauty trillogy by Anne Rice http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sleeping_Beauty_Trilogy
2) The story of O (I know this one is hardcore. involves kidnapping, multiple masters (i think), I’d look into this before giving it out.)
3) Please, sir (i will get author name tomorrow)

Unfortunately that’s all I could get. She suggested I go back and talk to her co-worker (the one who originally misheard femdom), so it will be kinda awkward but she’s really nice so I’ll try a second attempt.

Be back with more titles asap. Hopefully I can catch the specialist tomorrow. Maybe even pick me up the first book in that sleeping beauty trilogy.

[FaustsBoon]

05/21/2013 at 8:27 pm

Update Day 54:

Well remember how I said things would likely go in a direction I liked when the wife got home, barring life intruding unexpectedly? Well it did. She came home with a pretty debilitating migraine which meant decency dictated that I let her get well. A good night sleep has done the trick though, and she seems happy today. I’ve already made my intentions for later clear… so hopefully tomorrow i’ll have something different to report tomorrow.

@Master, thanks for the help man. I’ll do my homework, and then make some “suggestions” to the wife, based on what I think I can encourage without blitzing her with something so extreme/overt that it just scares her off. :p

[mastermandprincess]

05/21/2013 at 11:51 pm

Yeah, definitely do your research before giving her anything. I know it’s not erotica, but some erotic manga I like a lot is called victim girls. I’m not sure if your wife would be into it as it can go extreme with drugs, abuse, and even killing and I’ve always thought of it as more for the enjoyment of the sadist (though I know girls, princess included who love it). I would say it’s at least worth checking out. I’ll leave the link here: http://hentai2read.com/victim_girls/

Some of the victim girls stories are tamer then others so I’d read em all if you think hentai/doshin (whatever it’s called, erotic manga) is a good idea.

I also recommend kangoku senkan, a hentai that primarily revolves around brainwashing 2 dominant female officers IN SPACE. I know this isn’t exactly erotica, but I’m trying to give all I can, as I’ve learned a lot of erotica is poorly done, or contains things that just aren’t good to show a new sub. Same can be said of my above recommendations, but eh, better then nothing. Princess 69 and Virgin in School Uniform is also good hentai but again I’d watch these and think if she can keep the fantasy seperate from reality or if any content will flip her out. (princess 69 is about a fat coach slowly corrupting the gymnastics team until he convinces the rest of the team to help corrupt the rich girl who is blackmailing him and ends in a kind of hareem deal, and Virgin in school uniform is 2 episodes with 4 short stories)

My final recommendation for hentai is Dorei Maid Princess. I know the guys it’s done by and they tend to be a little hardcore (also made kangoku senkan) but from the clips I’ve seen (haven’t watched from beginning to end, just a little of beginning and a little of the end) it looks like it might be good as it seems to be a BDSM relationship primarily based on love and odd fantasy politics.

Alright, thats all I got. I’mma call the girl from my sex shop now and give one more crack at this.

1) Please, Sir by Racheal Kramer Bussel
2) Master Slave by N.T Morely
3) The Story of O (another reccomendation, called a classic by her)
4) Carrie’s Story
5) Sleeping Beauty trilogy (got another recommendation)

Not for her
6) (missing title but these guys wrote a book on domination, recommended for you by her) Dossie Easton and Jannet W. Hardy
7) The ultimate guide to sex and disability (While I was in the store I mentioned you were in a wheelchair and she thought you should give this a read as well)

So that’s all I can do by myself. Sorry, I was hoping for more and I hope I provided you with something you can use.

I may revisit some of my old erotica I used to read, but the ones I remember well and liked involved incest and mind control. Ah what the heck, just in case (ah, can’t remember the names of the stories so I’ll just give you one of the websites I used to go to)

http://www.literotica.com/stories/

http://www.asstr.org/~Kristen/ (I went to this one a few times for the incest collection, but I’m not sure what it does outside that as it’s not very well organized. I tried to find some sort of tags page like I have pulled up for literotica)

Also there’s Sarah and Micheals Sad Story, a story where a girl is forced to marry her rapist is enslaved by the whole town (in increasingly unbelievable ways), disowned by her parents (who also eventually become slaves), eventually escapes but her and her daughter who she was separated from at birth become slaves to a dommie girl. I can’t tell you how it goes after the 10 year jump (directly after escape and separation from daughter) as I stopped reading there.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/story.php?storyid=4287

Never checked out the rest of BDSM library, but maybe it has some good stuff.

Alright, that’s pretty much the end of my rope. Hope something useful in here. I know it’s not all official erotica, but I’m throwing everything I can in hopes that something works.